


Live Wire

by holdingoutforapiratehero



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Accidental drug overdose, Adoption, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Attempted Abortion, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bad Parenting, Blow Jobs, Depression, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fist Fights, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Handcuffs, Homelessness, Limousine Sex, Loss of Virginity, Mechanics, Mental Health Issues, Motorcycles, New York City, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Private School, Public Masturbation, Rehabilitation, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Teen Angst, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drinking, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 98,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdingoutforapiratehero/pseuds/holdingoutforapiratehero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CS Modern High School AU. She was a live wire and she was about to turn his world upside down. Just trying to get by his last year of high school, Killian Jones is paired with socialite Emma Swan, the girl with a dark secret and a flair for theatrics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first multi-chapter fic for the OUAT and CS fandom and is originally posted on ff.net. All the chapters will be posted here as well. All of them were beta'd by the brilliant Haleigh (Onceuponajollyroger).

Killian Jones jogged up to the little, hole-in-the-wall loft he shared with his father. He was already winded from the hour jog around his neighborhood. Routine. It’s what sets us apart from the animals. Every morning around five he would get up and go for a jog. He told himself it was to clear his mind, but mostly it was just to get some fresh air. Unlike the other kids he went to school with, he lived in a cramped, five-hundred square foot apartment with his drunk of a father. Killian tried to spend as little time as possible in his so called home. He didn’t have many options on places to go to escape. A morning jog and a couple of shifts at the local garage would have to be enough to get him by until he was able to move out on his own. _One more year_ , he would remind himself. The optimism all but drained from his mind as he walked into his abode, the stench hit him instantly. The source was slumped over the small, two chair table shoved in the corner by the outdated fridge. Killian treaded carefully across the small expanse of the room being mindful of the trash and dirty laundry that made its home on the floor. Two empty bottles, one with a quarter of its contents left, littered the table.

“What do we have this time?” he asked himself picking up the taller of the empty bottles.

“Jameson Irish Whiskey,” he read off the bottle before slamming it back down on the table startling his father.

“What the hell boy?!” he hollered sloshing his words around.

“How much money did you spend on whiskey last night?!” Killian demanded leaning against the small kitchenette and crossing his arms over his chest in a threatening manner. Killian rolled his eyes at his father’s drunken, pathetic attempt to do math in his head. At that moment the only thing Killian was grateful for was the fact that his father would never need to know simple addition to be a dockhand. His father began to count on his fingers mumbling unintelligible numbers under his breath.

“60… 80…,” he guessed slumping his shoulders. He could hardly support his own weight he was so drunk. This behavior was nothing new to Killian. After his mother died in childbirth it was just him and his dad. Nine and a half years later, his father remarried a woman named Susan, an American born photographer on assignment in Ireland. Despite never knowing his mother, Susan, was a nice mother figure for him. They relocated to the United States when Killian was ten. Over the years, Killian and Susan became very close. That was until she died halfway into his freshman year of high school. Her death devastated him, but it took a much larger toll on his father. That was when the drinking started. The drinking cost him his cozy desk job and later his relationship with his son. Killian’s father, Flynn, now works eight to ten hour shifts at the local shipping yard for eight bucks an hour. Killian narrowed his blue eyes meeting his father’s black ones in a veiled attempt to get him to remember.

“One-fifty,” he winced out.

“One-fifty?!” Killian repeated slamming his fist against the counter behind him.

“One-fifty?! Are you daft?!” Killian insulted pointing a finger of blame in his father’s direction.

“I needed it…” his father offered up as a lame excuse.

“You needed it?!” Killian mocked, his accent getting thicker with rage.

“The landlord is threatening to kick us out and you go on a bloody bender?! We barely had enough money for rent last month!” he growled covering his eyes with his forearm to keep from crying out in frustration.

“Unbelievable,” Killian choked out shaking his head back and forth looking for some justification for his father’s idiotic actions.

“I don’t have time for this right now. I have school in less than two and a half hours,” Killian reminded him. Living on a completely different side of town, nowhere near the fancy private school he attended meant that it took him an hour and twenty minutes of travel time to make it to school every morning. He usually made it to class with 5 minutes to spare on a good day, a day where everything worked in his favor. A rare day indeed. This was Killian’s last year of high school, one year until he was free. Killian pushed off from the counter and made his way across the apartment to where the bathroom that consisted of a toilet and a moldy bathtub was concealed by a sheet giving the illusion of privacy. _One more year_ , his mind chanted. Killian stopped mid-step to face his father who was once again face down on the table.

“And for God’s sake, take a bath!” he grunted before pushing the curtain back and preparing for the day.

Getting to school took him a forty-five minute train ride into the city followed by a thirty minute bus ride which required him to change busses three times. As usual he was pushing his time limit. When he arrived to the gated courtyard, of the private school campus, which was normally crowded with various cliques in the same uniform as him, he found it empty. For the boys, the uniform consisted of kakis; a white, button up, collared shirt with a fitted, striped necktie in the school’s colors; and a navy blue blazer with the school crest on it. Girls were required to wear a pleated, plaid skirt in the school’s colors, either a white or blue collared shirt, and a black sweater vest that could also be paired with a similar navy blue blazer adorned with the school crest. Securing his messenger bag over his shoulder, Killian prepared to make the mad dash to the first class of his senior year.

He made it to 12th grade Geography just as the bell rang. His usual back right corner seat was empty. He breathed a jagged sigh of relief and made his way to the back of the classroom. He settled into his seat with his book bag draped across his desk and waited for the teacher to start the lesson. He paid no attention to his fellow classmates. He had little respect for them. His goal in life was to go completely unnoticed by them. So far, he had been doing a pretty decent job. He had more pride in himself than to associate with any of the people in this school that leech off their family’s money. Thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. The only reason he was even able to attend this school was because of his mother’s trust fund. Although he never knew his biological mother, she had set a small fortune aside for his schooling before he was even born. A fortune that was to only be used for his schooling to his father’s dismay. The money and education he was getting gave him hope for the future. College was actually a possibility. This opportunity hadn’t been taken away from him like everything else in his life. His education was the one thing his father couldn’t take away from him. He would guard it with his life.

“My name is Greg Mendell, but you can just call me Mr. Mendell. Welcome to 12th grade Geography. This year we will be going in depth into the subject. Be prepared for a lot of projects,” he announced cheerfully earning him groans from the entirety of the class. Just then, the door opened with a loud squeak and shut abruptly causing everyone to direct their attention to the source of the noise with the exception of Killian.

“Sorry I’m late,” a soft feminine voice apologized to their instructor. The only sound that could be heard in the classroom was her footsteps. That still wasn’t enough to make Killian glance up. The footsteps came to a halt near him and he heard the sound of someone shuffling into their seat. ~~~~

“Don’t make being late to my class a habit Miss-?” the teacher paused searching for the name of the late student.

“Swan. Emma Swan,” she offered with a tight-lipped, unamused smile. _That_ was enough to get Killian’s attention. Emma Swan was infamous. There wasn’t a person in this school who didn’t know who she was. Killian was no exception. Emma Swan was the heiress to her father’s Fortune 500 Company and was possibly the richest student in school. Not that that mattered to Killian. She attended the school up until the end of her sophomore year. She didn’t return for her junior year. There were many rumors surrounding her disappearance. No doubt there would be an equal amount for her reappearance. None of this mattered to Killian. All that mattered was that the person he had been pinning and yearning for since his 9 th grade year had just seemingly walked back into his life. The only problem was, she didn’t have a clue who he was.

“As I was saying to the class Miss Swan, there will be a lot of projects given in this class. What I failed to mention was that these projects will be assigned in a group. Congratulations, the person sitting to the left of you is now your partner for the rest of the year.” That earned him another chorus of groans from the students in the class. Killian glanced in the direction of the seat next to him. His eyes began at a pair of feet crossed at the ankles in what looked like some very expensive heels and rose to meet the face of Emma Swan who turned her head to face him and flashed him a seductive smile. Killian swallowed and rearranged himself in his seat, so he was facing away from her. He was fucked.


	2. Chapter Two

He couldn’t go one year. One measly year! He had been so close to tasting his freedom just to have it ripped away from him. They hadn’t assigned partners in class since his freshman year. He had considered himself safe based on that fact alone. He was wrong. Dead wrong. This wasn’t a very new-age school he attended. It was a very old-school, by the book. Apparently their newest history teacher hadn’t received the memo. He thought he had been in the clear when she had left school unannounced, never to return. She was the one wrench in his plan to draw as little attention to himself as possible. Emma Swan’s personality was that of a magnet. She attracted everyone in sight, including him. He had four classes with Emma in the past. Freshman English, Chemistry in grade 10, and both freshman and sophomore lunch periods. Their paths had crossed many times. Neither spoke a word to each other. Killian was in no way a shy or introverted person. Killian was very descent looking in his own opinion. Blue eyes like the sea, a dark mop of unruly hair on top of his head, a fairly fit physique, a light dusting of stubble around his chin, and an accent he tried very hard to hide as not to draw attention to himself. Even in past group assignments he would try to say as little as humanly possible. A lot of it had to do with social class. The people he was surrounded by were carbon copies of their social climbing parents who had no desire for their children to associate with people on the “wrong side of the tracks”. How cliché. Killian kept to himself to avoid distraction. His future was obtainable, but unlike his peers he had to work hard at it. He couldn’t afford any distractions. That included women. The ultimate distraction. Emma Swan had haunted his dreams. He had always pined for her from afar. Emma Swan had the ability to command a room with her presence. The whole place would light up in glory of her. At times the mere sight of her would cause his mouth to go dry instantly. The current situation he found himself in was no exception. He was completely enamored with Emma Swan. She could do no wrong in his eyes. The world revolved around her and her long, golden locks. Locks he wished to run his fingers through just to see how they felt underneath his finger-tips. His reverie was broken by the sound of the teacher’s voice.

“I’m passing out questionnaires. You are to fill them out with your partner’s answers. Consider it a get-to-know-you exercise. You guys will be spending a lot of time together over the next year,” he cautioned before counting the number of papers he needed for each row and handed them to the people in the first row who then passed them backwards. When the small stack of papers reached the person in front of him the paper was thrown rather then carefully delivered into his hand.

“Bugger,” he cursed under his breath bending over as far as his body would allow to retrieve the fallen paper. It was as he was reaching that his hand met a smaller, warmer, softer hand. Killian looked up to meet the eyes of Emma Swan. Blue eyes sinking into her beautiful green ones, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“I’ve got it,” he snapped tugging the paper from her grasp and setting it on top of his newly cleared desk. Emma leaned back into her desk, her arms up in a gesture of surrender. _Smooth Jones. Real smooth._ Emma leaned over to face him, her head resting on her propped up arm.

“What’s your name handsome?” She asked in sultry voice that sent shivers up his spine. Killian found himself looking around the room for any other possible person she could be addressing than him, but came up short. There was no doubt, she was talking to him. He gestured to himself, a questioning look on his face.

“Yes. You,” she confirmed with a gentle laugh.

“Killian. Killian Jones.” He licked his dry lips before answering.

“Cute.” She breathed, lightly shaking her head as if she couldn’t get over his stupidity, a playful smirk on her red-painted lips. Killian wanted more than anything for a hole to immerge from underneath and swallow him whole. _Pathetic. He was so pathetic. What was it about this girl that made him turn into an inarticulate, socially awkward pansy?_

“I’ve never seen you around school before. Are you new?”

“No,” he growled lowly, his fingers tightened on the side of his desk trying to fight back against his baser instincts. Under the radar, he reminded himself. His instincts won out.

“I sat behind you in Freshman English,” he chided causing a perfect o to form on her lips.

“How is it that I can’t remember?  I definitely would have remembered you,” she teased. _Was she flirting with him?!_ Killian was beside himself with confusion. The last time this had occurred had been in one of his sexual fantasies. _Please don’t be a dream_ , he begged his subconscious.

“Let’s just get through this assignment,” he suggested trying to ease the blush on his cheeks.

“Whatever you say,” she breathed focusing her attention back to the questionnaire in front of her.

“Question one. Favorite sexual position. Wow. That Mr. Mendell is a kinky one,” she joked.

“It is not!” Killian protested obviously flustered by her blunt speech. Killian looked down at his paper and read: _Question one. What’s your favorite subject in school?_ Killian breathed a long sigh of relief and sank back into his chair.

“You are so gullible. I find that incredibly sexy,” she confessed throwing him a saucy smile. Killian Jones nearly choked on his own spit. _Was she coming on to him?!_

“I find these questions relatively boring. Do you mind if we changed them up? I don’t see how we are supposed to get-to-know someone if these questions are going to put me to sleep before you answer,” she explained in a long sigh, fingering the edges of the offending paper.

“Go ahead. Knock yourself out. I don’t think we are being graded on this,” Killian shrugged before turning his paper over to the blank side and leaning back, covering his face with his hands.

“Chill! Life’s not about being graded. Life is about having fun. Don’t you ever just have fun?” Emma questioned, not waiting for an answer, her jaw dropped in a show of over-theatricality.

“We are going to get you out of your shell. Life’s too short to play by the rules,” she declared. Killian’s hands slid down his face to make eye-contact with Emma, a hopeful smile on her face. Killian groaned in protest. He honestly didn’t know what to make of any of this. _The girl of his dreams is begging him to throw caution to the wind and have fun with her. What does he even say to that?_

“Give me your paper,” she demanded holding out her hand.

“Come on,” she egged on.

“Come on. Trust me,” she smiled her convincing smile. Killian relinquished his paper into the palm of her hand, which he immediately watched her crush in her delicate, perfectly manicured hand and throw it to the floor. Emma beckoned him closer with the twist of her finger, and Killian obliged unquestioningly.

“On my count, we are going to make a run for it. Are you ready?” She revealed causing him to take a sharp intake of breath.

“Wait… what?” He managed to ask, her calculating stare ahead taking her attention away from him. Killian followed her gaze up towards the front of the classroom. She watched as the teacher turned abruptly his attention clearly on something more pressing.

“1…”

“Wait…”

“2…”

“What if we-”

“3…”

“Emma please-”

“Go!” Emma jumped from her seat taking her book bag with her and made her way around the back of the classroom and out the door. Emma paused at the door when she realized she was alone and stomped her foot like a deranged primary schooler used to getting exactly what she wanted.

“Come on!” She mouthed to him continuing to stomp her heel and gestured to him in a forward motion with her hand. Killian stared back ahead and then back to Emma, shaking his head.

“Pussy!” She mocked him silently cupping her hands around her mouth in challenge. It didn’t look like he had an awful lot of time to make a choice. Let alone the _right_ choice. He just knew he was going to regret this later.

“Bloody hell,” he cursed grabbing his bag, slinging it around his chest, and making a calculated run to the door.

“Come on,” she let out a carefree laugh and grabbed him by the hand, dragging him down the empty hallway. This was the last thing he thought would happen when he woke up for school that morning. He had no idea what had gotten into him. This was his _last_ year. They were gaining speed down the corridor trying to make it out of the building as fast as possible so as to not get caught. Once they reached the edge of school grounds he found a limo parked. Emma stopped outside it and knocked on the driver’s window, which rolled down at her request.

“Rauel, we are going to walk,” she told her driver, her hand still clasped tightly around his.

“Yes. Miss Swan.” Her driver nodded once and then rolled the window back up.

“Are you hungry? What do you say to some breakfast?” She asked Killian, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, blown out by the wind.

“Sure. Why not?” He agreed, excitement absent from his tone.

“This way.” She abruptly grabbed his tie from his blazer and tugged pulling him closer to her, so close that their foreheads almost touched. Killian’s breath caught in his throat. _This girl was a live wire. And she was going to be the death of him._

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Thanks for the yogurt,” Killian slurred in his Irish accent. Emma grinned brightly stirring her own yogurt.

“Your accent is very sexy,” she purred licking some yogurt off her spoon in a suggestive manner. Killian choked on a spoonful of his own yogurt, coughing.

“Easy there tiger. Do you not know how to take a compliment?” She teased, laughing quietly at his expense.

“Most people don’t associate me with the word sexy _quite_ as often as you do,” he countered patting himself on the back for the quick response.

“Is that so?”

He nodded at her question before sticking his spoon back into his yogurt searching for another bite.

“You know, you never answered my question,” she reminded him causing one of his dark eyebrows to shoot up in question.

“Yeah. Your favorite sexual position,” she said casually causing him to choke again on a spoon full of yogurt.

“Jesus! Warn a guy next time!” He chastised pushing away his yogurt cup with a fourth of its contents still remaining. _Best not to chance it._ She laughed again. He was addicted to her laugh. Her happiness was contagious. He smiled joining in on her laughter.

“So what is it?” She inquired again, stronger this time.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” He grinned, thoroughly amused with her tenacity.

“I would. That’s why I asked you,” she pressed the subject staying as cool as a cucumber. Killian was at a loss for words at that point. Sexual sobriety was a common side effect of having absolutely no social life, and he was finding it very difficult to back down from her determined gaze. She was going to get it out of him one way or another. Killian took a shot in the dark and did the one thing he could do in this situation. Lie.

“Missionary,” he supplied waiting for her reaction. Now it was Emma’s turn to choke on her yogurt.

“Oh my god! You’re a virgin?!” She gasped, not believing her own words. Killian’s eyes went wide. _Was it that obvious? Did he have the word virgin tattooed in invisible ink across his forehead? Did she have some special virgin detector?_

“Impossible! How on earth are you still a virgin?!” She shook her head repeatedly trying to grasp the concept that the handsome man sitting across from her was indeed still a virgin.

“Gay?”

“No!” He nearly shouted shooting that suggestion down right away. The act causing a few people to glance in their direction whilst walking on the busy city streets.

“Wait…” She leaned in closer to him.

“You’re not weirdly religious or anything are you?” She kept her voice low. Religion was a sensitive subject after all, to most people anyway. She did have manners. She wasn’t _that_ uncivilized.

“No!” He shrieked.

“By choice?” She prodded him for confirmation.

“The red-blooded male part of me would require me to answer. No,” he spoke finally. Trying to lay the subject to rest.

“Good.” She leaned back into the metal chair a saucy smirk on her lips.

“Wow…” She sighed.

“What?” He asked annoyed at her antics.

“Oh nothing…” She replied in a sing-song voice.

“I can’t believe there is still a virgin on the island of Manhattan.” She snorted.

“Hey!” He defended.

“It’s nothing personal…or maybe it is…” She burst out laughing again.

“I don’t know why you find the idea of my celibacy so amusing…”  He rolled his eyes.

“You never told me yours,” he reprimanded.

“Huh?”

“Your favorite sexual position.” He grinned like a mad man.

“You couldn’t handle it.” She crossed her arms over her chest in a perplexing manner. He was completely lost in all of her. Her entire being gave him purpose as he pressed on.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” He quirked in eyebrow in challenge. Emma licked her lips before leaning across the small expanse of the table and pushing her lips against his ear.

“Reverse cow-girl,” she whispered, not phased at all. It was as if she was reading off a grocery list or a name in the phone book.

_Oh yeah. Complete live wire. And he couldn’t get enough._


	3. Chapter Three

After Killian and Emma’s yogurt date, and he uses the term _date_ lightly, they snuck back onto campus with the crowd of seniors finishing their off-campus lunch. He had missed his 2nd period math class, 3rd period French, 4th period science, and the majority of his 5th period lunch hour. All that remained was 6th period English, 7th period physical education, which for private school attendees meant playing group sports like lacrosse and rugby, and his 8th period art class, which he cherished.

Emma and Killian had separated ways as soon as they stepped onto school grounds. Emma going left. Killian going right.

6th period English went by quickly. What didn’t go by quickly was the never-ending list of literature the class would require him to read that year. Everything from Shakespeare’s _Hamlet_ to _War and Peace_. It was going to be a long year.

By 7th period gym he was longing for 8th period to roll around. Being around the testosterone induced athletes in the school would do that to anyone.

8th period art was the saving grace to his class schedule and by far the most anticipated class of his day. The syllabus included still life, landscapes, and portraits. He had his teacher, Mr. Hopper, a failed artist himself, the past three years in a row. Mr. Hopper encouraged and challenged him to be the best artist he could be. It was obvious to Mr. Hopper that Killian had real talent and potential as an artist. After the syllabus was passed out students were given their supply list. Reading the page in front of him, all Killian could see were dollar signs. None of the materials for the class would be cheap. Art supplies rarely ever were.

“Killian, if you need help with anything on the list come and see me after class,” Mr. Hopper reminded him quietly as he was passing by his table. Killian felt bad needing help obtaining supplies because of his monetary situation. Dr. Hopper had always been supportive and understanding about the whole ordeal. He felt the personal need to invest in his students especially Killian. For the rest of the hour they were given free rein to do as they pleased as long as it had to do with art. Doodling was an acceptable choice. Killian pulled the warn sketch book from his messenger bag and placed it on top of the table next to his pencil and began to sketch the face of Emma from nothing but his memory. The way she laughed, the way she smiled, the way her hypnotizing eyes would gaze into his. Her beauty could inspire poets to write sonnets, songwriters to compose, and painters to create masterpieces. Emma Swan was a siren leading him into shark infested waters. For her, he would happily welcome death. Killian’s love of art stemmed from his step mother, Susan who must have dragged him to over 50 different art exhibits as a boy. The way Susan would talk about her own art as a photographer inspired Killian to pick up paper and pencil. As the years went by he discovered new ways to express is artistic instincts. He would be forever grateful to Susan for opening his eyes to the world of art. It gave him an outlet to express himself. Something he desperately needed and was grateful after her passing. Nothing made him feel more alive than the scratching noise his pencil made against a blank page.

The school day drew to a close as the ball rang dismissing everyone from class. Killian gathered his materials and shoved them back into his bag before walking up to Mr. Hopper’s desk to greet his beloved teacher.

“Ah, Killian. Just how is my favorite art student?” Mr. Hopper inquired lifting up the back of his suit coat to take a seated position on the edge of his desk in a casual way.

“I’m good. How was your summer Mr. Hopper?” Killian asked shuffling his feet in an awkward stance.

“It was wonderful. Got some much needed time with the wife and kids. They are getting so big. Did you practice that thing I taught you over the summer?”

“Yes. Yes I did. It was very helpful.” Killian confirmed. Mr. Hopper was referring to a different shading technique. Killian had spent a great amount of time over the summer practicing and perfecting it to the point of insanity.

“Have you given any more thought into applying to art school?”

“I Have.” Killian nodded rocking back on his heels.

“And?”

“I haven’t decided on anything yet. I’m still thinking about it.” He confessed.

“I strongly urge you to think about it. This is your future. You are by far my most promising student I just don’t want to see your talent go to waste.” Mr. Hopper explained. The sincerity this man could speak with could make a grown man cry. Killian had never had someone believe in him as much as Dr. Hopper believed in him. Killian didn’t comment any further and Dr. Hopper could sense the conversation was emerging into uncomfortable territory.

“So how about those art supplies. I have a few gently used brushes saved over from last year’s senior advanced art class. You know folks that changed their elective early and didn’t get a change to use them much.” Killian watched the man mumble as he was walking over to the supply closet and digging through items.

“Oh yes, these will do nicely.” Mr. Hopper observed tapping the paint brushes in the palm of his hand before handing them over to Killian who nodded in thanks.

“As always I have a stash of canvases and paint in the back, anytime you need them…” He reminded him.

“I’m afraid you are on your own for the rest. Will that be a problem?”

“No. I think I can manage the rest.” Killian put on a reassuring smile and moving towards the door to leave.

“And Killian, think about art school.” Mr. Hopper said causing Killian to pause in the door way.

“Yes sir.” Killian responded before making his exit. Killian really enjoyed Mr. Hopper’s company and value’s his opinion. But all this talk about the future had him flustered. He had ambitions. He had dreams. He just wasn’t ready to make the commitment. Can you do what you love and still make a living off of it? Clearly Mr. Hopper couldn’t that’s why he was a teacher. If Mr. Hopper couldn’t what hope was there for him? Mr. Hopper’s heart was in the right place though. He knew he would eventually have to make a choice, it just wouldn’t be today.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Most of Killian’s afternoons were spent at the Sherwood Auto Garage located a few blocks away from his home- that afternoon was no exception. He made it to the garage around 6:30. He was late.

“You’re late.” Came a concealed voice that belonged to David Nolan. David was Killian’s best and only friend and had started at the garage at the same time. David attended public school nearby. He also enjoyed regaling Killian with his tales of public school life.

“I know. I know. I know.” Killian shushed him trying to sneak his way past the office and into the break room where there were a set of lockers to put his stuff in and change into his work clothes. Killian was unsuccessful.

“You’re late.” Came a commanding authoritative voice from the office. His boss.

“Sorry about that, Robin got held up at school.” Killian explained turned around taking a few steps into the office. Robin was seated in a swivel chair facing Killian.

“Call next time. I was shorthanded. I could have asked Leroy to stay an extra hour this afternoon.” He said with a light-hearted grimace on his face.

“I’m sorry I completely spaced. It won’t happen again.” He apologized with a smile. He could never take Robin seriously especially when he used what he referred to as his “boss” voice. Just then a head popped out from in-between Robin’s legs. The face of Robin’s cute dimpled copy of himself. His son, Roland.

“You’re late. Get to work!” Roland exclaimed playfully pointing an imposing finger in Killian’s direction.

“Yes sir.” Killian got down to Roland’s level and saluted the young boy.

“You heard the boss.” Robin said gathering his son in his arms causing the boy to giggle maniacally. Killian let out a laugh and sauntered over to the break room where he immediately changed into the worn out pair of jeans and white shirt that he kept in his school bag. Opening up his locker revealed a greasy navy blue jump suit with his name embroidered over the breast pocket, his worn out work boots and a blue baseball cap with the garage’s logo on it. He wasted no time pulling on the jump suit over his work clothes and slipped on his boots saving the cap for last which he placed on his head backwards before heading out to work for the day.

“Kid, pass me that wrench.” David Nolan requested popping his head out from underneath the car he was working on. Killian watched as Roland picked up the wrench off the ground next to David’s tool box and taking short stubby steps to hand it off to David before skipping back to his father’s office.

“I swear, one day Social Services is going to come after this establishment.” Killian joked crossing his arms and leaning on the side of the car glancing down at his co-worker.

“Ha! Very funny.” David smirked, grease smudges lining his face.

“So… the Chevy truck needs its breaks replaced. The Camry needs a tune-up and…” David explained gesturing to the respective cars in question. That’s when Killian noticed the last car and shook his head in dismay.

“Well… We will just say that one needs some _serious_ body work.” David scrunched up his face in distaste for the car and more importantly the work that needed to be done to it. Killian walked over to the radio switching it on to the classic rock station and grabbing his towel to place in his back pocket before heading over to the Camry that needed the tune up, popping the hood of the car taking a quick glance and getting straight to work.

“How was your last first day?” Killian asked David over the sound of the rock music playing softly in the background and the clink of metal.

“Same old. Same old. Can’t wait to get the hell out of there. How was yours?” David prompted while concentrating on the job in front of him.

“Something interesting happened today…” Killian began and then wiped the sleeve of his jump suit against his sweaty forehead.

“Do tell.” David encouraged him, clearly his curiosity was peaked. It was rare when Killian had something to say about school especially with him having absolutely no social life to speak of.

“I skipped my first class of the day today…” Killian responded.

“You what?! Why would you do that?” David abruptly rolled out from underneath the car to get a better look at Killian who turned around and leaned against the open hood of the car he was working on.

“It’s the first day of school and you’re already skipping class? You never skip class. What has gotten into you?” David fired question after question in his direction. David couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Killian just gave a half-hearted laugh before turning around and getting back to work.

“Wait. This wouldn’t have anything to do with a girl would it?” David interrogated still keeping his eyes on Killian.

“Maybe.” Killian answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

“And?” David prompted him to continue.

“Nothing happened. We went out for yogurt and walked around for a bit. We had a good time. I did miss five of my classes today though.” Killian finished with a sigh before grabbing the rag from his back pocket and cleaning the tool he had just used.

“You missed five classes?!” David exclaimed exasperated by his friend’s unusual behavior.

“It’s not a big deal. It’s the first day of school nothing happens on the first day anyway. Besides it’s not like it will ever happen again. I have to focus on my studies.” Killian clarified. It was the truth. Killian had to focus on his studies he couldn’t afford to get distracted by a girl. Even if that girl was Emma Swan.

“Just who was this girl that’s got you skipping class and gallivanting around the city like a god damned tourist?”

“Swan. Emma Swan.” Killian admitted. The classic sounds of ACDC had long since faded into the background leaving the room in a deafening silence. There was a loud clank of metal hitting the ground and the sound of wheels screeching against the ground. David had officially left the underside of the car and was heading straight towards Killian. This wasn’t the first time that name had been tossed around in this garage.

“She’s back? When did this happen?” David reached the car Killian was working on and leaned against it casually.

“Today I guess.” Killian supplied.

“Is she back for good?” David asked with apt interest.

“I don’t really know...” Killian shook his head.

“She seemed _different_.” Killian recalled causing his friend’s eyebrow to shoot up questioningly.

“A _good_ different.” Killian mended.

“How so?”

“Well for one she spoke to me.” Killian still sounded shocked that it even took place nearly convinced it was something he made up in his own mind.

“And _you_ talked to her?” Killian shot his friend a _bitch, please_ look causing David to stumble in laughter.

“Is it so hard to believe?”

“Kind of.” David admitted to Killian’s displeasure.

“How did this happen?”

“We were paired up as partners for the year in Geography. Apparently we will be spending loads of time together…” Killian explained with a winning smirk on his lips. David’s mouth dropped.

“You dog.” David nudged him appreciatively.

“What did you two even talk about?” David continued to quiz him.

“Sex.” Killian gave him the world’s most mischievous smirk known to mankind, an eyebrow shooting up in an all-knowing fashion.

“Holy shit!” David practically shrieked in excitement. It was times like this that Killian thought they were no better than the opposite sex at this age.

“Boys! I don’t pay you to sit around and chat. Get to work…” Robin reminded them coolly from the safety of his office. Robin was a very laid back boss. As long as work got done he didn’t have a problem.

“This isn’t over!” David promised walking backwards, his face towards Killian’s back to the car he was working on.

“Didn’t think it was…” Killian laughed shaking his head at his friends’ antics.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Boys! Dinner!” Robin called, his son in one arm a bag of take out in the other.

“What’d you get?” David asked.

“Hamburgers!” Roland clapped his hands, struggling to get out of his father’s arms; a cute chubby cheeked smile graced the boy’s lips. The boys dropped what they were doing and followed behind Robin and Roland into the cramped break room for supper.

After each person took turns watching their hands they all gathered around the table to finally eat.

“Plain and dry for Killian. A double for David. A kid’s for Roland. And veggie for me.” Robin announced divvying up the burgers, condiments and sides of fries to their respected owners. David took one big bite of his burger before getting up to the mini fridge to grab everyone a soda to have with their meal before sitting down to resume eating.

“How was the first day boys?” Robin asked politely attempting to make small talk. David and Killian exchanged snickering glances. But before they could answer Roland beat them to the punch.

“I had my first day of Kindergarten!” Roland beamed shoving his face into his burger.

“Why don’t you tell them about your teacher Roland…” Robin encouraged with a nod of his head.

“I’m in Miss Lucas’s class. She’s really nice and she has all these toys…” Roland explained bouncing up and down in his seat excitedly.

“I’m jealous.” David gave him a smile causing Killian to give David a nudge in his side. Robin shot him a puzzling glance.

“What?! I am! They have nap time!” David declared fist bumping Roland from across the table, David’s hand barely able to meet Roland’s due to the height difference. Killian just rolled his eyes in response.

“How about you Killian how was the first day?” Robin switched targets.

“He skipped class today.” David broadcasted for Killian. Killian gave David a murderous glance from across the table and David just grinned taking yet another bit from his burger.

“You what?!” Robin started nearly choking on his burger shocked at the boy who he looked at as a second son’s behavior. This was very out of character for Killian.

“You just had to open your big mouth, didn’t you?” Killian gestured to David who had a mouth full of food and a shit eating grin on his face.

“When Susan died I promised to help take care of you. That also means making sure you’re on track for your future. She would have wanted you to do something amazing with your life.” Robin enlightened Killian. It’s not like he did this all the time. It was one time! Killian didn’t like when Robin played the Susan card. Robin had been a close friend of Susan’s since childhood. The two practically grew up together. Susan was the reason Killian even had this job. Killian didn’t like to think about Susan’s death. His mother figure had died in a most tragic and unexpected way. While running late to his 15th birthday celebration Susan was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street, she was killed instantly. Killian hasn’t celebrated a birthday since.

“It was a onetime thing. It won’t happen again.” Killian assured him. He did need to start getting serious about the future that also meant thinking about applying to schools. Maybe making a decision about art school, the conversation with Mr. Hopper still fresh in his mind. Killian didn’t have a clear plan on what he wanted to do. He just knew that he had options all thanks to his mother.

“See that it doesn’t. You have a lot riding on this year Killian.” Robin reprimanded.

“Oh. Before I forget this is for your art supplies.” Robin said passing him five twenty dollar bills from the fold of his wallet.

“Robin you know I can’t accept this.” Killian gestured to the newly acquired crisp twenty dollar bills folded in the palm of his hand.

“I would be insulted if you didn’t take it.” Killian knew better than to argue with him. Robin had always slipped money to him during the year for things for school. New clothes, lunch money, etc. It didn’t make Killian feel any less of a burden for accepting it. He wished more than anything that he could be financially stable. That was a lot of the reason behind deciding whether or not to attend art school. He craved a better life for himself, one where he wouldn’t need to accept money from other people for simple necessities. The career of an artist was difficult and not always a guaranteed pay check.

“Fine. But one day I will pay you back.” Killian vowed shoving the money into the empty breast pocket of his jumpsuit.

“So Robin… how goes the online dating?” David snickered in between bites of french-fries, Killian joined him, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

“I don’t know how I allowed you boys to talk me into such a thing…”

“…but it’s good. I have a date with a woman named Regina this Saturday. I believe that means I’ve held up my end of the bargain and the subject can be dropped.” Robin hoped picking at the many layers of toppings of his hamburger.

“Don’t think of it like that! Do it for Roland. For both your happiness. He deserves a mother…” David begged him to see reason. A couple months after Roland was born his wife Marian got very ill and passed on a short time later leaving Robin a single father. Robin looked over towards Roland who was kicking his small legs under the table, happily shoving fries into his mouth.

“It’s been four years Robin…” Killian added.

“It’s time.” David confirmed with a short nod of his head.

“For Roland?” Robin smiled down at his son.

“For Roland.” David and Killian established in unison.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKKE

After dinner Killian and David liked to go out back where there was a punching bag set up for them to work off dinner and box some of the stress from the day.

“How’s the bike going?” David asked holding the punching bag steady for Killian to get his shot in. Killian jabbed with his right hand and countered with his left before quickly sneaking a glance behind him at the bike in question. Killian bought the broken down motorcycle on a whim one day for a very descent amount of money that he had saved from working at the garage to fix up and hopefully use in the near future. He had saved it from the junk yard and was slowly fixing it up. He had been working on it for two years now. It started off as a summer project after Susan died. Slow funds kept the project from getting done faster. He could only manage to put aside 25% of his monthly pay check towards the motorcycle restoration. The other 75% worked to help keep a roof over his head.

“It’s going good. I got a new part in yesterday just have to find some time to put it on. Soon she will be ready to ride.” Killian enjoyed his hobby and was looking forward to the taste of freedom he’d get with owning a running motorcycle. It wouldn’t be long now.

“You going to see Emma again tomorrow?” David asked. Killian swung his fists at the bag, sweat making his dark hair cling to his forehead.

“I don’t know. I’m convinced that today was all a fluke.”

“I will wake up tomorrow and this day will have all been some twisted idea I had in my head to believe I actually had a chance with her.” Killian went on with his elaborate excuse.

“Don’t sell yourself short. She’d be crazy to not go for you.”

“I’m 100% straight but even I find your accent irresistible. You make a horrible wing man.” David teased earning a gloved jab in the arm from his boxing partner.

“Did she really talk to you about sex?” By his tone of voice he could tell his friend hardly believed him. Killian smirked proudly and continued to hit the bag.

“She told me what her favorite sexual position was.” Killian revealed causing David’s eye brows to shoot well up into his hair line.

“You are my hero! What did she say?”

“I’m not telling you!” Killian grunted from the force of exertion.

“Come on!” David pleaded.

“No.”

“What if I start guessing? Will you tell me if I guess right?”

“No!”

“Doggie style.” David began guessing with no response.

“David- I’m not telling…”

“I bet she likes being taken from behind-“

“David! I respect her too much to reveal her personal sexual preferences.” Killian begged.

“I bet she likes being on top! Does she like being on top?” David continued to harass him.

“For fuck’s sake David! Cut the shit. I am not telling you!” Killian pushed the bag with David behind it with all his might landing David on his ass.

“Good. Hit.” David panted after having the wind knocked out of him.

“Serves you right.” Killian said leaning over David’s crumpled form.

“Remind me never to ask you about your sex life again.” David groaned from the ground.

“Not _mine_. _Hers_.” Killian mended.

“Right. You’re still a virgin.” David stated plainly earning him a scowl and playful kick to his side.

“Easy. Easy.” David moaned.

“It’s a touchy subject I get it.”

“You think?!” Killian gritted his teeth.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

After boxing and eventually making up with David he threw his leather jacket over his greasy white t-shirt and walked the five blocks home.

Killian arrived home around 10:30 and arrived to an empty house. _Typical_ , he thought. Killian stripped off his clothes and went to scrub the day off. Killian was used to quick showers, he had it down to a science. He had exactly 5 minutes before the lukewarm water would turn icy cold. The lack of privacy and water pressure made dealing with his erections very difficult when he felt the urge. He was a teenage boy after all. After getting clean and dressing for bed, Killian pulled the crumpled up comforter and pillow piled on the edge of the stale couch over himself and attempted to fall asleep. His mind couldn’t relax long enough to drift off to sleep, his thoughts filled with nothing but _her_.

Clumsily he lifted himself from the couch and carried himself over to the dirty kitchen table, pulling out the chair he took a seat. Killian reached over the chair and pulled his bag open and retrieved his sketch pad. Setting it down on the table he began to sketch the face of the blonde girl he couldn’t get out of his head for the second time that day.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is where things start to get a bit steamy but there is much more to come.

The next day went pretty much the same as the first with the exception that Killian arrived early to class for a change.

Walking into his first period Geography class he discovered Emma already sitting in her seat being occupied by the latest issue of Vogue magazine. Killian walked towards her stopping at the front of her desk. They had close to five minutes before class was supposed to start.

“Hey stranger.” Emma greeted poking her head out from under her magazine.

“Morning Emma.” He acknowledged her before passing right by and taking the seat next to her.

“Brrrrrr… someone’s cold this morning…” She taunted harshly turning to the next page in her fashion magazine.

“I apologize for my rudeness. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” He admitted leaning his head back off the back of the chair and placing his hands over his eyes in a lame attempt to prove his point.

“Is that so?” She quirked an eyebrow in his direction, wiggling in her seat. Killian paid her no mind as he continued to rest his eyes before class.

“You know… that’s a strange coincidence. I also had trouble sleeping last night.” She confessed catching his attention. Killian removed his hands from his face and straightened himself in his seat to face her, a look of mild annoyance on his face. _What is she playing at?_ It was only the second day, and he was already thoroughly distracted by her at and away from school. _Just ignore her Killian._ Emma began leaning away from her desk in his direction getting obscenely close to his person.

“You see, I spent all night _writhing_ in bed. Touching myself to the boy in my class with the very sexy accent.” She breathed huskily in his direction. After speaking her peace she leaned back slowly, her bottom lip in a game of tug-of-war with her mouth. Killian’s face dropped, and his pupil’s dilated. He was not expecting that. _Had she just admitted to masturbating while thinking about him?_ Killian stilled, starring at Emma who was caressing her body; starting with her painted red lips down to the crease of her neck. Killian couldn’t tear his eyes off her even if he wanted to. He was hypnotized. Emma’s hands found themselves on her spread thighs toying with the hem of her uniform skirt. Killian’s eye’s trailed down to see Emma’s delicate fingers inching underneath her skirt. _She couldn’t possibly…_ Emma threw her head back as her fingers made contact to the place where she needed them the most. A strangled moan tore through her moist lips. _Bloody vixen!_ Killian was nearly salivating at the mouth. The performance was cut short with the sound of the minute warning bell as students began to enter the classroom.

“That’s a shame.” She muttered deliciously disheveled by her actions. A light sheen of sweat coated her brow. Killian continued to stare at her bashfully. _Did that really just happen?_

“I was just about to get off too.” She pouted her lips. Killian took that moment to adjust the painful growing erection in his trousers and righting himself in his chair.

Emma and Killian remained silent, neither talking about the incident. Killian was happy for the moment the teacher came in and finally started class, hopeful that his mind would be taken off from Emma’s sensual display earlier.

“Good morning, class. I’m going to get right to it today. We are going to jump right into our first project of the year. Up here I have a list of European countries. You will send a representative from your group to pick a country, and then both of you will map out the cartography of that country. I want you to take this opportunity to get creative and plan accordingly. Today will be the only time given in class to work on it. The rest must be done outside of class. Project is due next Friday.” He announced striding back to his desk to take a seat behind it.

“Come up and pick your country.”

“I got this.” Emma nodded towards him offering to collect their assignment from the front, but not before stopping at the front of his desk to address him directly. She leaned in, her hands placed on either side of his desk in a strong grasp and looked him directly in the eye.

“Oh, and Killian? Feel free to add that to your spank bank. I know I will…” She winked mischievously at him before sashaying to the front of the class room. Killian gulped watching her walk away. Emma practically danced back to his desk to show him which one she chose.

“Look what we got.” She proudly showed off the card with the word “Ireland” written on it like she was Vana White with a twist of her hips. Killian fingered his chin and inwardly groaned at his partner’s selection.

“I thought we could do Ireland because you’re from there.” She thought aloud. She expected him to be happy about it. They would ace the assignment for sure!

“What’s wrong?” She whined taking her rightful seat beside him.

“Nothing. It’s nothing…” Killian brushed his feelings aside. Killian watched her with interest as she leaned over to retrieve the Geography textbook stored underneath her desk for some basic information.

“How did you know that’s where I was from? Most people hear my accent and assume that I’m English.” Killian asked curiously.

“I’ve visited Ireland enough times to tell the difference between an English and Irish accent.” She provided with an all knowing smile as she began glancing through the index page for the country of Ireland. Killian smiled back to her.

“What did you do when you visited?” Killian inquired making polite small talk.

“Shopping.” She grinned. Killian’s face fell in a frown.

“Joking.” She amended flipping through the pages of her textbook to the desired page.

“Where in Ireland are you from?” She asked inquisitively lip poking out in silent consternation as she scanned the words on the page.

“I’m from a small town on the East Coast of Ireland.” He told her leaning into the map on the page of the book and pointing.

“Drogheda.” She read off around the spot his finger was currently touching.

“Am I pronouncing that right?” She asked looking up at him to make eye contact. He nodded.

“What was it like living there?” She questioned her eyes sparkling with apt interest.

“From what I can remember, it was beautiful. A lot of architectural sites.” He described in a severe lack of detail causing her to raise a questioning eyebrow.

“I moved here when I was ten. When I was a young lad I didn’t pay much attention to the world around me.” He added with a light-hearted laugh.

“Right.” She sighed.

“Do you miss it much?” Emma turned away from the book suddenly well aware of their close proximity to each other.

“Sometimes, but it hasn’t been home for quite a while now.” He said dismissively. She was far too tempting this close. Near enough to touch. All he would have to do was reach. His eyes bore into hers, green against blue. _What on earth was he thinking?_

“Emma…” Killian whispered huskily.

“Killian…” Emma swallowed.

“We should get back to work. There’s still a lot to do.” Killian suggested breaking her gaze.

“Right.” Emma nodded uncurling herself in her seat and bent over the table to read the rest of the paragraph the Geography book had to offer on the country of Ireland.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“So, we will continue this after school? Around 8ish?” She asked for confirmation a short time after the bell had rung dismissing the class.

“Yes. There’s a café down the street from my work. We will meet there. 8 sharp.” He repeated the plan.

“8 it is. And if you should need to get a hold of me…” She started before grabbing his wrist and pulling it towards her. Emma held his wrist in her left hand whilst pulling the pen cap from her pen with her mouth and spitting it out onto the table in a weirdly erotic way. Emma held onto his wrist tighter and furrowed her eyebrows in concentration as she scribbled her number into the palm of his hand. Lastly, she blew on the drying ink all the while maintaining eye contact with him.

“…there’s my number.” She exhaled watching the fuckstruck expression cloud his vision before releasing his hand back to his possession. Killian watched as Emma gathered up her belongings and trotted out of the classroom the same fuckstruck expression permanently etched on his face. Looking down he examined the number on his hand followed by her name with a tiny heart next to it; he smiled. Killian had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about this. On one hand, he was a raging hormone driven male and on the other hand he was a meticulous well to-do student who had a lot riding on the school year- too much to get mixed up in the entity that was Emma Swan. Up to this point in his life, it had been nothing but endless decision making. Choose this over that. That road or the other. Either way he had a difficult choice to make. He just hoped he would have the ability to make the right one.


	5. Chapter Five

“I don’t know what I’m going to do David.” Killian started wiping off the wrench he was currently using.

“I sure wish I had your problem. I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” David walked around and took a seat in front of the steering wheel diligently trying to get the car he was working on to start.

“The way I see it, she obviously wants you, so why fight your feelings for her?” David advised while trying to rev the engine only to have it backfire and the car to stall out on him.

“Let’s see: there’s school, there’s bettering my life, there’s school…” Killian listed off for his mate’s scrutiny. Killian bent down, laying his body on the creeper and sliding himself under the car head first, half his body sticking out from underneath the car.  

“It seems like you’re stuck on the school thing, which is completely understandable. I just don’t see why you can’t have a little _fun_ at the same time…” David flung himself out of the driver’s seat to adjust the jumper cables attached to the vehicle.

“You and I both know I can’t afford any distractions, especially this close to sending out college applications. Grades are more important than ever right now.” Killian grunted from underneath the car.

“Killian, you’re a straight A student with a spotless school record. One girl isn’t going to change that.” David gave it to him straight. A chorus of soft whistles sounded from inside the garage at the sight of a tall, leggy blond in a simple, denim skirt and heels entering the building. It was like something out of a White Snake music video. David blanched at the woman fitting the description Killian had given him of Emma. There was no doubt in his mind of who this girl was and what she was here for. Emma put a finger to her lips signaling David to be quiet. David hopped out of the car and moved to greet her trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Hi, I’m David.” He greeted her in a whisper, wiping his greasy hand on his pants to shake her hand.

“It is so nice to meet one of Killian’s friends. I’m Emma.” She forewent the hand shake and pulled David into an overly friendly hug, her pert breasts pushing against his greasy coveralls. She completely took David off guard. Pulling away David had decided he really liked this girl. She was perfect for Killian. In that moment he couldn’t have been any happier for his friend, the lucky bastard.

“David, you’ve never even met the girl. Trust me when I say she’s more than a _little_ trouble.” Killian explained, the heels of his boots scraping against the floor of the garage. David glanced back at Emma, an uneasy smile on his lips. Killian needed to stop talking _now._ Emma just moved her mouth in a mute giggle, shaking her head.

“Hey, Killian. I don’t think I can take your word on that anymore.” David confirmed, his hand going to his mouth in embarrassment for his co-worker.  Emma moved around to the car Killian was under and leaned against the side of the hood, the space not taken up by the dolly, patiently waiting for her Geography partner to make an appearance.

“Why?” Killian went silently still.

“Because she’s standing right here.” David finally choked out; the sound of Killian fumbling around underneath the car could be heard. Killian pushed himself out from under the car, leaving his forehead unexposed to her appraising gaze.  Killian’s mouth went dry at the sight of Emma leaning against the side of the car, her perfectly toned legs on display for the world to see. Killian inwardly groaned, his imagination running wild, the overwhelming sense to take her in his arms and fuck her into the car he was working on too tempting for even his own mind.

“Trouble am I?” She repeated his earlier words, her arms crossed at her long torso. She didn’t look mad; she looked amused. He read mischief in her eyes.

“I thought we weren’t meeting until 8…” Killian croaked out in confusion. Killian could very well see up Emma’s skirt, a fact she was very well aware of. He was in trouble himself with all the hints of red lace peeking out from underneath it.

“It’s 8:30.” She stated without fault. Killian’s eyes went wide in panic. He was late, and she came and sought him out. How did she even know where he was?

“It is? Oh gods lass, I’m so sorry. I must have lost track of time.” He blundered about in apology, his head hitting the underside of the car on his way out from underneath it causing Emma to giggle. Emma maneuvered herself in from of him, her legs straddling the edge of the dolly, her hands meeting his to lift him up off the board. Once Killian’s feet were firmly planted on the ground it was Emma’s turn to be stunned to silence by his appearance. Emma’s legs clenched, all the blood rushing down to her groin seeing Killian in standard mechanic garb. To say that it was a turn on was a huge understatement. Even the backwards baseball cap had her mind conjuring up the dirtiest of thoughts. She knew she would be seeing his grease smudged face in her thoughts as she pleasured herself later that night. All earlier thoughts of his darkened gaze as she touched herself in front of him vanished from her mind, replaced by the open jump suit; a dirty white V-neck shirt poking out from behind the open zipper.

“You two are precious.” David commented at the sight of the yearning looks and doey eyes they were exchanging. Killian shot David a murderous glance, and Emma just playfully laughed at the boy’s antics. If looks could kill David would be dead where he stood.

“Thanks David.” Emma said.

“I like this girl Killian. You should have her around more often.” David continued despite Killian’s twitching face.

“How on earth did you know where to find me?” Killian asked, the notion baffled him. Emma picked up his hand by the wrist shoving his hand in his face, close enough to see the permanent grease stains underneath his fingertips.

“I noticed your fingers earlier. The café is on the same street; it didn’t take long to put two and two together.” She explained happily before releasing his arm back into his possession.

“You got yourself a regular detective over there Killian.” David gestured to Emma with the wrench in his hand.

“Thanks, _Dave._ ” Killian spat.

“Let me just change and we will be outta here.” Killian told her before walking in the direction of David to put him in his place.

“Look, I know it’s hard for you, but can you at least _try_ not to say anything stupid while I’m gone?” Killian bantered with David, who was working under the hood of a car. Killian looked back at Emma who had found a quiet stool in the corner to sit on, her tan legs doing nothing to help his case.

“Aye Aye Captain.” David vowed in mock salute that had Killian rolling his eyes and praying for a miracle.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

After Killian had changed, keeping his attire of a white V-neck shirt and faded blue jeans, but throwing a dark blue button up over his ensemble, he escorted Emma down the street to the café.

“I’m sorry about being late. You shouldn’t have had to come get me.” Killian apologized over a cup of coffee.

“It’s not a problem. Besides I liked seeing you work. I can’t believe you’re a mechanic. You’re a girl’s wet dream.” Emma commenting causing Killian to sputter on his coffee.

“Warning.” He growled in reminder, wiping his mouth.

“I’m sorry. It’s just far too easy.” Emma giggled playfully, her hands fingering the handle on her own cup.

“You and David seem like good friends.” Emma noticed, making polite conversation.

“Does that surprise you?”

“Actually? Yes. I’ve never really seen you interact with other people.” She croaked, taking a sip of her doctored up latte.

“It’s by choice I assure you.” Killian guaranteed.

“Do you enjoy working on cars?” She questioned taking yet another sip of her latte waiting for him to answer.

“It helps pay the bills. And Robin is great. Known him for years.” Killian replied to a confused Emma.

“Robin owns the garage.” Killian added to appease her sense of curiosity. Emma formed an ‘o’ with her mouth and nodded in understanding.

“We should get to work.” Killian suggested pulling the textbook from his bag and an additional book on Ireland that he picked up after school at the library.

“This one has more information about Ireland’s cartography than the textbook does.” He pointed to the thick book on the table.

“Why did your mom and dad decide to relocate here?” She blurted out.

“My mother isn’t with us anymore.”

“Oh Killian, I’m so sorry.” She reached to put a comforting hand on his shoulder in respect.

“Don’t be. I never knew her. She died giving birth to me.” He revealed.

“That’s something we both share. I lost my mother when I was very young as well.” She smiled in understanding.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Killian attempted to distance himself from the subject with little success.

“Did your father ever remarry?” She inquired, the library book making a thud on the table as it was opened and turned to the very middle, bookmarked section.

“He did.” Killian nodded scanning the page before him for the information he sought, trying not to choke up at the mere mention of Susan. Emma didn’t know any better.  

“She passed away halfway through my freshman year.” He revealed.

“Oh Killian, that’s horrible.” She sympathized, her hand reaching out to touch his in a sign of comfort.

“What’s your dad like? I bet he’s a strong man having dealt with the loss of two of his loves. How tragic.” Her question gave him pause. He no longer felt like talking about the subject further.

“Let’s get to work.” He ignored her all together, averting her gaze and got straight to work.

Emma didn’t question him any further on personal matters. The pair finally decided to map out the area and then go over the area in the correct symbols depicting the cartography on poster board then cutting out the different types of environments to form a puzzle.

“Your place is closer. Do you want to go there to work?” She suggested.

“No.” He answered immediately almost falling out of his chair in blind panic.

“No. It’s getting late we should start on it tomorrow.” Killian amended covering his tracks. Emma glanced back at the clock on the wall that read _10:30_.

“You’re right. Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.” He nodded in confirmation.


	6. Chapter Six

Emma never showed up to class the following day. She was also absent the day after that and the day after that. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, Emma had neglected to show up to class. Killian had no idea what to make of it. Killian called her five times over the three day period and got no answer. _Surely she would make an appearance the following Monday…_ no. Make that a repeat for Tuesday. _Where was she? I hope she’s alright._

_“You’ve reached Emma. Leave a message at the tone.”_

Another missed phone call, another absentee day. This was starting to get ridiculous. He didn’t know many people he could ask about her.

By Wednesday he didn’t have to. Although she didn’t show in class, she was at school. Killian let out a sigh of relief seeing her in the hallway next to her open locker; although, the petite, dark-haired, pixie she was with gave him pause.

“Ah. Emma,” he stuttered behind her trying to get her attention. He was taken aback when Emma turned around. She looked like hell. Worse maybe. Emma’s hair was thrown on top of her head in a messy bun. Dark circles under her eyes told a tale all their own, but what Killian didn’t know.

“Hi Killian. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I was _sick,_ ” she thought aloud. Killian didn’t believe it for a second, but refused to press the subject. She would tell him if she wanted. Besides, it was hardly any of his business.

“You had me worried lass,” he said, concern written all over his face.

“Excuse _you._ You interrupted us,” a small voice came from beside Emma.

“Mary Margaret, it’s okay. Really,” Emma said as she encouraged the pixie to stand down.

“You should keep her on a leash,” Killian insulted.

“And who are you to give such orders?” Mary Margaret asked, hands on her hips.

“Killian Jones, Emma’s-” Killian began.

Emma cut him off, “Partner! He’s my Geography partner.”

“I don’t like him,” Mary Margaret huffed, air blowing at the bangs in her face.

“Excuse me, but I don’t need your approval,” Killian fought back.

“If you knew what was good for you, you’d stay away from Emma,” the fiery pixie threatened.

“You’re mad!” he scoffed. _Where did Emma find this lap dog?_ _Was she for real?_

“Mary Margaret, stand down. I can handle this myself,” Emma requested dismissively.

“What is she ~~,~~ your body guard? I hate to break it to you lass, but she doesn’t intimidate me,” Killian shook his head, his eyebrows shooting up into his hair line.

“I’m sorry my _cousin_ is just a little _overprotective_ of me,” she excused her friend.

“You’re related to _that_?” Killian said pointing at the pixie who was off to the side tapping her foot,Emma appeared to be unamused.

“She’s a piece of work, your cousin,” Killian commented.

“You’re sure she doesn’t like you _that_ way? She is a bit obsessed with you.” Emma rolled her eyes.

“Killian, be nice. Let me properly introduce you,” Emma insisted, taking him by the arm to Mary Margaret.

“Well… Well… Well… What do we have here?” a voice echoed around them from the opposite direction. Emma stiffened, and her hand automatically tightened around Killian’s arm. Killian attempted to turn to make eye contact with the voice, but he was jerked back by Emma. Killian had no doubt in his mind: this was Neal, Emma’s ex. Although he wasn’t in the loop, he still stayed up-to-date on the school’s gossip. It just wasn’t in his mind to care at the time. The rumors as to their fallout were numerous, stemming from a stint in rehab to cheating on one another. Either way there was some seriously bad blood between the two.

“Neal-” Emma began to tremble where she stood. Neal came into view, stepping around the group, his posy in step beside him. His friends. Her _old_ friends. It almost seemed like another life time ago. In a way it was, so much had changed since then.

“It’s good to see you again Em. I had no idea you were back.” Neal smiled crookedly stepping closer to Emma. Her body shivered at the sound of the nickname he had given her, like poison from his lips. Killian looked on as an innocent bystander; he had no idea what to make of it all.

“How was boarding school?” He pressed on. No one knew why Emma was missing for all of their junior year, and no one knew why she decided to come back. It was a collective assumption amongst their peers that Neal had left her heartbroken, and she couldn’t stand to be around him, so she took off for boarding school to escape the fall out. Emma didn’t bother to refute him if he was wrong.

“Close enough.” Mary Margaret stood in the middle of the two.

“Easy, Mary Margaret. I just wanted to say hello,” Neal assured her backing up a bit in defense.

“Who is this?” Neal asked blatantly, not even bothering to cover up the hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Killian Jones,” Killian sneered. _Who was this ponce?_

“Killian, a bit of advice?” Neal paused for dramatic effect.

“Watch your back with this one. She’ll spread her legs for anything with a dick.” Neal leered crudely, addressing Killian but looking in Emma’s direction, a pained look on her face.

“Oy! What’s your deal _mate_?!” Killian countered, his accent getting thicker under stress. Neal’s behavior towards Emma was uncalled for.

“Ask her yourself,” Neal suggested, taunting Emma. Killian looked over to Emma who was completely distraught beside him. She offered no words of rebuttal.

“But she doesn’t do a whole lot of talking, does she?” Neal added glaring down at Emma. Apparently Neal had a serious superiority complex when it came to Emma. Even worse, Neal came across like he was doing Killian a huge favor by warning him.

“Why don’t you do the world a favor and jump off a cliff Neal,” Mary Margaret spoke up beside a quivering Emma. Emma refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to her. She shed no tears.

“Neal, you’re a creep  that never deserved her!” _Okay, the lap dog had some claws._ Neal didn’t seem fazed by Mary Margaret’s comment and just snickered with the rest of his audience. The fact that Neal even needed an audience to humiliate someone made Killian sick. Neal had officially worn out his welcome.

“It was good to see you again Em. Say ‘hi’ to the folks for me.” He stopped next to Emma to whisper into her ear before walking away with the rest of his gang, leaving Emma shaking in an emotion Killian couldn’t read.

“Oh and Jones, enjoy my leftovers.” Neal turned, walking backwards to have the last word before disappearing altogether.

Killian was at a loss for words. He had no frame of reference to what had just occurred, and he was flabbergasted by the cruelty and disrespect of the way Neal had addressed Emma. What had happened between the two that left both of them so bitter? Did he even have a right to know? Emma began to hyperventilate beside him, overwhelmed by the encounter with Neal no doubt.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Mary Margaret smoothed her shoulders in comfort before placing a hand on her back and carting her away from him.

“Emma! Wait,” Killian called after them.

“You! You stay away from her!” Mary Margaret spat viciously, pushing him away. She didn’t use a lot of force, but her message was received loud and clear. Killian didn’t know what to make of any of this. The strange pixie was overprotective of Emma, but about what? Why did she need to protect Emma? What past did Emma share with Neal? Nothing seemed to add up as Killian found himself standing in the crowded hallway alone in stunned silence.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain sexual situations. You've been warned.

Killian was relieved when he walked into class the following Thursday morning to see Emma at her desk. The pair sat in silence well into the beginning of the class period, giving each other lingering glances. Mr. Mendell was at the front of the class giving a lesson on Geography and its importance involving tourism worldwide.  Half way into the lesson, Killian pulled out a loose-leaf sheet of notebook paper from his spiral notebook and jotted down a message to Emma before delivering it to her desk inconspicuously.

It took Emma exactly three minutes to notice the folded sheet of paper on her desk. Emma, glancing over at Killian, who was trying very hard not to make eye contact with her, unfolded the paper and read the note.

_We still have to finish our project. It’s due Friday. –K.J._

Emma retrieved the pen from her open textbook and immediately began scribbling out her response below his message and passing it over to Killian, who eagerly read it.

_My house. 7PM. We’ll ~~finish~~ start the project. –E.S._

Killian studied the message in her elegant script and noticed she also included her address. The word penthouse leapt out at him.

_Sounds good. I’ll pick up the paint. You grab the poster board. –K.J._

When Emma didn’t reply to his last message, Killian grew anxious. Tearing out another sheet of notebook paper, he wrote out yet another note to his partner.

_What was that all about yesterday? –K.J._

_Killian, one day I will tell you, but that day isn’t today. I’d prefer if you dropped it for now. –E.S._

Killian’s brow furrowed in concentration reading the note. None of his questions has been answered. Either way, he would respect her wishes and drop the subject for _now_.

After class, Killian moved to greet her, but she dodged him before he ever got the chance. What had he done to upset her?

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian could hardly focus in the rest of his classes. Not even art could help take his mind of the situation with Emma. Why was she being so standoffish?

Killian was relieved when the final bell rang, dismissing them for the day. Killian returned to the side of town he lived on, stopping by the garage to notify Robin of his plans for that evening that would require time off. Robin happily agreed. School needed to come first. After stopping by the garage, he made a quick stop at his apartment to change before running down to the art supply store to pick up the paint he told Emma he would bring. It took Killian an hour of travel time to get back onto the island of Manhattan and to Emma’s apartment. He had arrived two minutes before the agreed upon time. They needed to work diligently if they wanted to finish in time to turn the assignment in tomorrow.

Looking up at Emma’s building had him feeling slightly intimidated. He wasn’t used to such luxury. Killian looked down at the folded piece of paper in his hand containing Emma’s address to double check that he had the right place. Looking at the street signs confirmed his suspicions. Emma did indeed live in this building. Adjusting the strap of his messenger bag around his torso and his grip on the plastic bag in his hand containing the paint, Killian moved towards the entrance of the building. The door man stopped him in his tracks with his hand.

“Excuse me sir, I can’t let you in if you don’t live here,” the doorman halted him.

“I’m here to see Emma Swan,” Killian told the man.

“You wouldn’t mind me confirming that with her?” the doorman asked before escorting him into the lobby of the building and using the house phone to contact the residents of the penthouse.

“Penthouse please,” he told the operator who connected him right away.

“Sorry to bother you Miss Swan, but there’s a man down here in the lobby to see you. Should I send him up?” The doorman licked his dry, cracked lips waiting for a reaction on the other line.

“Thank you, Miss Swan. Have a nice evening,” he nodded before connecting the phone back to the receiver and turning to address Killian.

“Take the elevator on your immediate left. It should take you straight up to the penthouse,” he instructed  Killian, who gave him a shifty nod of his head. Killian felt like Alice going down the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

The elevator ride took close to two minutes. After all, it was a thirty story building. Killian used the two minute grace period to gather his thoughts. Looking at his reflection in the shiny aluminum doors did little to calm his nerves. He let out a long sigh of relief at his appearance staring back at him. He donned dark blue jeans, a dark V-neck shirt covered by a grey cardigan with a dark, gray beanie on top of his head to complete his look. Hopefully Emma would approve. She had yet to see him outside his school and work attire. His palms gathered more nervous moisture with every ping of the elevator. _28… 29… 30… P… DING._ It was now or never. The elevator doors swung open to reveal Emma who was patiently standing there waiting for his arrival. She wore a pair of light denim cut off shorts, a white tank top peeked out of her opened, long-sleeved, chambray button-up shirt, and her golden mane was pulled into a high ponytail. At least she wore something practical to work in, he noted before glancing down further at her feet to see a pair of heels. _Or not…_ Fashion always won out over practicality when it came to Emma Swan’s wardrobe.

“I hope you weren’t standing there the whole time,” Killian commented stepping over the threshold into the apartment, the plastic bag swinging to and fro from his hand, his eyes going every which way to take in the appearance of the room. It looked like something out of a reality TV show, but watching it on TV was nothing compared to the real thing. Never in his wildest dreams did he think these kinds of places actually existed, but they did. The proof was staring him right in the face. Everything was so white… crisp… clean… Killian was anxious to even step foot further into the space, afraid of ruining the expensive décor. There was no way in hell he could afford to replace something if he managed to ruin it. The penthouse was lovely, floor to ceiling windows, marble floors, every piece of furniture fit the black and white theme that seemed to be all the rage in the homes of the very wealthy.

“You look nice,” she complimented, gesturing to his outfit. On his dime all he could afford was the latest fashions you could pick up at a thrift store. He had gotten quite good at dressing himself on a budget. The fact that the subject of his affections noticed made him smile.

“Thank you. So do you. Although the heels are a little unreasonable for what we will be doing,” he said genuinely, shaking the bag in his hand to further remind her of why they were meeting.

“Better?” she asked toeing off her heels and shoving them to the side.

“Much,” he nodded pleasantly.

“Where are your parents?” he inquired looking around the seemingly empty house while removing his tennis shoes as not to damage the floors with his dirty sneakers.

“They flew out to California early this morning on business. Well my father’s business anyway. I’m sure the only thing Caroline is doing is giving my father’s credit card a workout,” she sneered coldly. Killian raised his eye brows in confusion.

“My step-monster,” she corrected, moving to lean on the back of the sofa, her arms crossed under her chest, her beautiful cleavage on display to his greedy eyes. It was then that Killian finally noticed Emma’s lack of undergarments. There was absolutely no barrier between her breasts and the shirt she wore. Killian hadn’t expected her to go _that_ casual. The sheer material of her camisole left nothing to the imagination, her pert, rosy nipples peeking out from underneath the fabric as if to torment him personally. That wasn’t going to be very conducive to their working environment.

“I moved the table in the dining room. I thought we could work on the floor in there,” she mentioned pushing her body off the back of the couch and motioning for him to follow her into the dining room. Just as she had said, the formal glass dining table was pushed into the corner of the space, the black leather upholstered chairs tucking into it, giving them plenty of empty space to work.

“Is this enough space?” Emma asked looking in his direction.

“Aye. It is.” Killian replied appraising the space and dropping the bag of supplies on the ground before removing his messenger bag and setting it off to the side. Emma wasted no time in grabbing the copious amount of poster board she’d purchased after school and laying them down on the floor. Emma lied down on the floor and patted the space beside her for Killian to join her.

Once seated, side by side, they planned out what they were going to do. Emma placed the poster boards to overlap each other, connecting them in the back with an adhesive and held the lot steady as Killian began to draw the outline of the map of Ireland as a starting point for their project. Killian carefully drew the boarder being mindful of where pieces needed to start and end for them to fit together like a puzzle in the end product.

“I hope you brought enough green paint,” she joked, the sound of her laughter distracting him momentarily from his task.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better since the confrontation in the hallway yesterday,” Killian brought up. Emma stilled beside him at the mention of the previous day’s events. Emma had no desire to be reminded of them.

“Let’s not talk about that,” Emma insisted, her eyes lingering on the shape of his face in the picture esque back drop of the New York skyline at sunset. Emma could get lost in his jawline if she stared long enough. He was a beautiful man. Emma watched him finish the outline, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth in deep concentration, his big beautiful sea blue eyes inspecting his work. Everything he did, every movement he made, stirred something deep inside her.

“What next?” Emma asked raising her shoulders. Killian leaned forward on his stomach over their project and rummaged through the plastic bag pulling out a few jars of paint. Of the colors he pulled out there were black, blue, brown, and a rather large jar of the green paint.

“We paint,” he answered holding up the jar of green paint, his other hand shaking the bag empty, a few paint brushes spilling out onto their workspace. Emma grabbed one of the paint brushes and began unscrewing a jar of blue paint, dipping the brush into the jar and going over the edges of the darkened outline Killian created to represent the start of the sea that surrounded the island.

“Stop,” Killian’s voice sounded pulling her away from her job of painting, which she thought was going well enough. Apparently she had been wrong to think so.

“What?” Emma shrugged her shoulders, blue paint dripping slowly from the tip of her brush.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he complained.

“Is there more than one way to paint?” she asked defensively.

“Come here,” he crooked a finger at her getting her to scoot closer to him. Taking her hand in his over the handle of his brush he brought it to the map and displayed the motion in which she should be painting. Her hand burned in his as all of the color in his face rushed into his cheeks.

“It should be a fluid motion like waves crashing down in the ocean,” he said whimsically. She had never heard him speak this passionately about something before. It brought a smile to her lips and the familiar rush of lust took hold of her.

“It rises up then falls down,” he spoke demonstrating the technique. Emma felt as though she had uncovered something magical about him, something secret that only she knew, a secret he was willing to share with her of all people. He was passionate about art. The moment was short lived. He soon released her fingers from his and went back to work on his side of the project. Emma moved back to where she left off and put his technique into practice. Every now and then Killian’s eyes would meet hers. He almost looked proud of how quickly she had picked up what he had shown her.

They worked diligently over the next few hours and ended up finishing around 10:30 at night.

“Oh my gosh, look at the time! I didn’t even offer you anything to eat or drink! Are you hungry?” Emma asked as she fretted over her hosting manners. She couldn’t believe that time had gotten away from them. _He must be starving!_ Moving to pick herself up off the floor, Emma hardly noticed the big jar of green paint that stood in her way. Killian fought to reach for the paint, but it was too late. The contents spilled out of the jar like running water. Killian fell into the puddle, successfully ruining his clothing, while Emma toppled over him, skidding on the slippery paint.

“Lass, I’m so sorry,” Killian apologized, green paint dripping from his hair onto his face.

“Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who knocked the paint over,” she replied as she moved up on her elbows to face him in the puddle of green paint that had dyed the tips of her blonde hair a nasty shade of green. Emma looked over at their finished project, sighing in relief over the fact that it had been spared.

“Oh my gosh,” she giggled when she finally saw Killian, her hand falling over her mouth, her body shaking with laughter.

“What? What’s so funny?” he demanded to know.

“You are absolutely drenched!” She continued to laugh.

“Your looking pretty _green_ there yourself love,” he let out a hardy laugh, his body sitting in the majority of the puddle, his back pretty much sticking to the floor. Emma crawled over to Killian to help get him up, her knees drenched in paint.

“Can you get up?” she asked placing a hand on his chest. Killian attempted to lift himself up with a grunt, but it was no use.

“I shouldn’t have bought the quick drying stuff,” Killian groaned, his hands going to his hair to push back the paint from his face, his beanie long since removed. Emma roared with laughter, her face buried into his chest trying to muffle the sound.

“Okay. Okay. Okay,” she chanted trying to get a hold over herself.

“I’m glad to see you find this mess so amusing,” he said cheekily.

“Okay, I’m going to try and pull you up,” Emma stated, straddling his legs and bracing her weight against his.

“On the count of three,” she looked him in the eyes, her hands curing into his before counting off.

“ _One…”_

_“Two…”_

_“Three…”_ she grunted pulling him by the arms with all her might. _Nothing_. Killian’s head fell back onto the marble floor with a thud, Emma releasing him from her grasp.

“Alright. New plan,” she started.

“This is going to take both of us. Wrap your arms around my waist. We are going to use the momentum to roll ourselves,” she finished. Killian had a panicked look on his face. His mind was currently coming up with ways he could still graduate from high school from Emma’s floor. Emma moved her body so she was lying completely on top of him, her hands dropping to his shoulders.

“You ready?” Emma asked. Killian bit his lower lip and nodded. Emma gave no warning when she unceremoniously wiggled her body a few times before taking his with her as they rolled to the side.

“Ha! You are bloody brilliant!” He shook with excitement. It was then that Killian suddenly realized just how compromising their position was. Emma’s lithe body on top of his, her center pressed against his now hardening cock. Her eyes bore into his, green on blue. Even covered in green paint she took his breath away. Killian reached for a loose strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail and tucked it behind her ear with his thumb, his finger trailing down to caress her cheek, smearing paint on her creamy skin. At that moment he no longer wanted to fight his feelings for her. They were impossible to ignore. He didn’t want to. Killian moved his lips over hers, her top lip quivering into the kiss. Killian moved to deepen the kiss, his lips fusing with hers, moving in sync. It was the most sensual kiss Emma had ever experienced. Her developing feelings for him scared her. She liked him a lot, almost too much. She didn’t want to be hurt again. She didn’t know if her heart could handle it. Emma was the first to pull away, in a lame excuse of trying to catch her breath.

“Emma, love, I’m done fighting my feelings for you,” he confessed stroking her back, her high walls shooting up around her in defense of her wounded heart.

“I don’t do relationships,” she admitted softly. Killian’s smile faltered at her words.  

“What do you _do_?” he asked, fearful of her reply.

“Fun,” she smiled against his lips pulling him into another kiss. Killian ~~had~~ decided that he _had_ to have her in his life, so he would take her any way he could. He just hoped that he wouldn’t regret his decision later.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

They hadn’t moved from their spot on the floor for ten minutes, unable to pry themselves off each other.

“We really should go and get cleaned up,” Emma acknowledged their limbs a tangled mess on the floor smeared with green paint.

“Yeah, but that would require moving,” he grinned pulling her lips in again for another peck, his arms tightening around her. He couldn’t get enough of her.

“No seriously it’s getting late. We should really get moving,” Emma moved to disconnect herself from Killian, the crunch of dried paint sounded as they separated. Killian rested his hands behind his head watching the view of Emma getting up.

“Come on,” Emma grimaced, holding her hand out to help him up, hopefully with success this time. Killian grabbed her hand, using his upper body strength to propel himself forward and off the floor, landing into her waiting arms.

“Follow me,” she whispered huskily against the tinted green skin of his neck. Killian took her hand and followed her up the stairs and into what appeared to be her bedroom. It was nice, luxurious even. Her walls were painted a light blue color with gold trimming. Her wrought iron bed was a golden brassy color covered in a green-blue colored bed spread. Throw pillows in similar hues decorated the head of the bed. That was all his eyes were allowed to take in until he was jerked into the open doorway that connected to her bedroom. The bathroom was just as big as her bedroom was and equally as regal in appearance. In the corner sat a Jacuzzi bathtub built for way more than one person. A full length wall mirror sat overhead a pair of above counter sinks made from spun carnival glass with silver fixtures. The toilet was stored in a closed off space all on its own. Lastly he noticed the spacious ground floor shower enclosed in pristine glass with enough nobs and faucets to make his head spin, the main shower head coming from the ceiling above.

Emma padded through the tiled bathroom floor to the shower and poked her head in through the glass door to start the water, testing the temperature before leaving the shower altogether. Emma stood in front of him, steam gathering from the shower as Emma shed her shirt and camisole, barring her breasts to his gaze.

“Emma, what are you doing?” Killian had to fight for control, as he stared up at the ceiling trying hard not to look at her bare chest.

“Having fun,” she smirked seductively.                                                         

“Oh for fucks sake! They’re called breasts, Killian.” She reached for his hands pulling them to meet her chest, a hand on each breast. Killian’s eyes were the size of saucers still not looking down at her.

“You can look down,” Emma permitted. Killian looked down bashfully; his eyes hadn’t ever set on a more gorgeous sight. Testing the weight of her in the palms of his hands, she fit perfectly. Emma was amused by how cautious he was, how innocent he appeared to be. This had to be his first time ever seeing a woman’s breasts.  

“Well?” she prompted him. Killian’s eyes left her assets and his pupils dilated with lust boring into hers.

“They’re bloody amazing lass,” he grinned childishly.                                               

“No,” she spoke once more grabbing his hands in hers to more appropriately take hold of her.

“Feel,” she commanded him, biting her lower lip. Killian took that as a sure sign to test the waters. Killian experimentally groped her, his other hand pinching a nipple between his thumb and forefinger causing Emma to cry out. Killian groaned at the sound, desperately wanting to replicate it again. He did the same to the nipple on the other side. Same reaction. Emma could feel the wetness coating her panties at the touch of his hands against her, bringing her pleasure. She needed more, and she needed it _now_.

“Strip,” she instructed braisingly stepping back a few steps from him to relieve herself of her shorts and panties. Emma made a show of looking behind her to see Killian inwardly grown at the sight of her naked body before stepping under the spray of the steaming shower. Killian was as still as a statue, all of his blood rushing south, his mouth gaping open. _Did that really just happen? Did she seriously just invite him to take a shower with her? In the nude!_ A million thoughts ran through his head as he began to shed the clothing weighed down with dried on green paint with shaky fingers. Nerves crashed over his body in waves. _What if he wasn’t good? What if he couldn’t please her?_ The thoughts echoed through his mind, his eyes going wide with every possible thing that could go wrong. He was assuming that they would be doing well… _things_. Things he knew nothing about outside of what he did with his own hand. Article by article, the clothing slipped from his body, his hand instinctly moving to cover his throbbing erection. _Don’t be a coward, Jones!_

Killian stumbled into the shower behind Emma. The sight of the water cascading down her tan shoulders was an erotic sight to behold regardless of the green water running down the drain. Emma threw her head back, her eyes shut tightly, rocking on her heels, as she scrubbed her skin with a wash cloth to remove the green paint. Killian watched intently as she rid herself of the paint until she dropped the cleansing cloth on the ground with a wet plop. Killian released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, connecting their bodies, a sensation his mind would never let him forget. The feel of their slick bodies up against each other, the clean smell of soap on her skin.

“Touch me, Killian,” she purred, a hand folding itself around his neck, her head falling back onto his slick shoulder, her other hand placed intentionally on his, guiding their joined fingers to where she needed him the most. Killian experimentally cupped her mound causing Emma to shudder underneath his touch, her head lolling on his shoulder.

“ _Killian,”_ she whimpered, bucking her hips against his probing fingers. Killian had never done that before. He was very nervous. _What if he did it wrong? What if he couldn’t please her? What if she laughed at him?_ Killian found himself lost in his own thoughts. _Gods, did all men have this ornate sense of worry of doing something wrong? This is absolutely nerve-wracking!_ He certainly wasn’t the first man to do this and he certainly wouldn’t be the last. Killian let out a long breath before snapping his eyes shut, wincing, and dropping a teasing finger between her dripping folds. His eyes popped open when he heard a moan instead of the distinct sound of her laughter. _Phew._ Emma ground her hips into his, begging for more pressure, whining when she didn’t find any. Killian let the sounds she made be his guide and wasted no time in adding a second finger into the mix causing her to mewl in pleasure. Killian was gaining more confidence with every positive sound that escaped her lips, not to mention the growing discomfort in his own crotch.

“ _Killian, my clit, rub my clit!_ _I’m so close!”_ she begged him. Killian halted his actions immediately his mind trying to go back to when they studied the human anatomy in freshman Biology. He had nothing. He was absolutely stuck.

“Right here,” she said grabbing his thumb and placing it over her bundle of nerves, working it along with his fingers. Killian tentatively began to stimulate it with his thumb, afraid he was going to do it too hard and hurt her.

“ _Ah. More!”_ she whined. Killian picked up the pace of his fingers, moving rapidly in and out of her tight wet channel, finally finding a spot inside her that seemed to send her reeling. Killian furiously rubbed at her clit trying to coax a climax from her, his lips buried in her neck. Killian felt her walls close in around his fingers, her climax hitting her in waves, her body jerking into his aching member causing his own pressure to build. Killian felt very proud of himself in that moment, unable to wipe the smug look off his face. Emma turned around in his arms as soon as she was able, her lips colliding with his in a mess of teeth and tongues. Her breasts felt fantastic rubbing against his chest.

“My turn,” Emma chided, her voice still raw from her orgasm as she worked her hand over his erection, setting a slow, torturous pace at first. This was easily a million times better than his own hand. Her delicate hand was small, soft, feminine. Emma backed him up to the shower wall for support, her hand picking up the pace of her jerking motions, her thumb circling around the sensitive tip of him. Killian bit down on his lip as he tried not to make a sound, afraid of the embarrassing noises he was likely to make. He couldn’t keep it in any longer, the pleasure too intense to hide.

“ _Emma!”_ Killian cried out, his balls clenching at his impending release, his hand tangling in her wet locks. Emma’s hand picked up speed, sensing he was on the brink of orgasm. With his eyes shut tight, Killian let himself go, spilling into Emma’s waiting hand, continuing to jerk him through his release, milking every last drop. Killian let out a contented sigh, his head slamming against the shower wall. Killian watched as Emma seductively slipped a wet finger into her mouth, sucking at his seed, a moan leaving her lips at the salty sweet taste of him.

“Yum,” she sounded removing her finger from her mouth and trailing it down the valley between her breasts.

“We are going to have a lot of fun together,” she  promised darkly, a naughty gleam in her eye. Killian’s eyes closed at her words, his head seeking reprieve on the cold, stone shower wall behind him. _He was in trouble._


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out it's safe to say that all chapters will have some type of mature sexual content unless stated otherwise.

Friday flew by fast. Their project ended up receiving an A+ with the added comment of being: very creative. Emma’s maid came over very early Saturday morning, long before Killian arrived, to take care of the green paint stains in the dining room. The diagnosis wasn’t good. After scrubbing the floor for a solid hour she came to the conclusion that the floor couldn’t be saved. She suggested a rug to cover up the permanent green stain. Emma was grateful that such a thing would work. The maid also claimed that her parent’s would be too busy to even notice the out-of-place rug.

Killian once again found himself in the arms of Emma Swan with the added bonus of actually being on the bed in her bedroom like a normal teenage couple. Most people’s parents would make them keep the door open to combat the temptation for other activities. Not Emma’s. She for the most part lived alone, her parents jetting off to places like Paris and Milan every other week. Killian could somewhat relate; his father was almost never home with the rare exception of when he needed a place to pass out drunk when he came home late from the pub. Emma’s room was decadent and expensive-looking. Killian had finally been able to get a decent look at the place; on one wall there was a single mahogany writing desk with the newest apple laptop sitting on top of it. On the opposite wall was a wardrobe made in the same mahogany wood. Two copper end tables matching that of the headboard straddled either side of the bed with lamp’s made of crystal on top. A bookcase sat beside the last piece of furniture: a vanity with a huge jewelry box on top of it and a small cushioned chair tucked underneath the table, all made of the same wood. Killian had yet to venture into the last place in her room: her closet, and probably never would. If he did he would find a more specious walk in closet than the average home behind the double doors. A closet with the plushiest of white carpets, the whole thing lined with designer clothing, more drawers for her under things, and rows upon rows of shoes. The closet was topped off with a full length mirror and a white setae in the middle of the room.

The only sounds that could be heard in the room were the smacking of lips. Tangled limbs, groping hands roaming any available body part they could get their hands on. Emma’s hand buried in Killian’s dark locks, her other hand clutching his ass while bucking her clothed hips into his. Emma was underneath Killian, one of his hands grasping her inner thigh, her leg wrapped around his waist, his other hand grabbing at her breast, her calf skimming up underneath the opening in his jeans in an attempt to touch bare skin. Killian’s lips trailed from her mouth to the juncture of her neck, nipping the sensitive skin there. Killian had to admit, he really enjoyed making out. What was there not to like? Emma took charge rolling them over so she was on top of him, her lips seeking out his once again in desperation, her finger tips snaking underneath the white V-neck shirt he wore to gain better access to the planes of his well-muscled chest. Killian was far from shy when it came to his body; he drew most of his confidence from it. It was a body he worked hard for by eating right with the exception of the occasional soft beverage and fast food burger when he worked late hours at the garage. He and David frequented the local YMCA to lift weights on the weekends, Killian got up every morning for a run, and boxing with David after working a late shift at the garage all attributed to his well-built physique, a physique Emma couldn’t get enough of. He had just the right amount of tone in his muscles. Not too much. Not too little. Emma ran her nails against his abs sending a shiver through his body making the hairs on his chest stand up on end. Emma loved the feel of his silky dark chest hair. Even when wet it had a strong effect on her. Emma disconnected their lips, much to Killian’s dismay, to roll up his shirt to his breast bone then proceeded to lick the line of hair that started from the middle of his chest to his naval causing a silent shriek of pleasure to rip itself from Killian’s lips. Grasping at the collar of his shirt, Emma pulled him into a seated position to gain access to the back of his shirt to lift it up and over his head, leaving him and his chest, in all its delicious glory, on display to her hungry gaze. Emma buried her lips into Killian’s neck trailing her lips down his chest and stopping at the belt holding up his faded denim work jeans. Emma licked her lips, fumbling with his belt buckle, finally disconnecting the clasp, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans far enough to sink her hand into the material underneath his pants to take hold of his hardened length. Killian hissed at the intrusion, her hand taking him completely off guard.

“Fuck, Killian. You are so big.” Emma praised nuzzling her nose against his neck while jerking him off. He moaned at her words, the huskiness of her voice mixing in with the sensation of her lithe hand wrapped around him making him dizzy with lust. Killian felt relief flood through him that she approved of his size. Killian had never been self-conscious about that particular aspect of his body. He had an above averaged sized penis much to Emma’s liking. Although he wasn’t one of those types of guys who measured for fun, Killian would put his engorged member at about eight inches long and two inches thick.

“ _Fuck me! God, Killian I need you inside me_ ,” Emma groaned in his ear, her tongue tracing the outer shell of his ear, her hand creating friction over his penis. Killian’s eyes shot open in panic. _It was too soon! They had been fooling around for what, a day?!_ Killian’s eyes shifted over towards the clock on one of the bed side tables to read the time. He wasn’t late. _He could get there early? Emma wouldn’t suspect a thing, she knew he had to go to work. He never told her what time he had to be there._

“Emma, love?” Killian chocked out trying to get her attention before the pleasure became too overwhelming to make her stop.

“Yeah?” she answered, her head still buried in his neck, nipping at his neck, marking him with her teeth. Killian moved his hand on top of hers, underneath his pants, successfully ceasing her actions. Emma released him, removing her hand from his pants and resting it on his cheek, caressing him with her thumb.

“Emma love, I have to go,” he whispered, her forehead leaning against his, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

“Already?” she whined.

“Fraid so,” he confirmed, his voice taking on a bittersweet tone.

“And we were just getting started…” she pouted.

“Another time, I promise,” his mouth breaking into a smile before connecting their lips once more for a quick kiss goodbye. Killian got up from his spot on the bed, his hands working at adjusting his softening member in his pants and sealing it away. Emma watched him from the bed, her head propped up on her elbow admiring his body and the things she wished she could have done to it had they had time. Killian bent down retrieving his leather jacket and swung it over his shoulders, his hair deliciously tousled from his romp with Emma. Killian closed in on Emma once more, bending over to kiss her one last time, taking her hand in his.

“I will see you tomorrow. That’s a promise,” he vowed before pulling away from her, the edge of her lips curling into a smile as she watched him leave the room.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Boys, I’m leaving for a bit. I have to pick Roland up from his play date,” Robin said in the middle of the garage, zipping up his forest green jacket.

“I shouldn’t be gone for more than an hour. Try not to mess things up too badly while I’m gone,” he cautioned before strolling out of the garage. Killian dropped the wrench onto the floor with a clank, striding across the garage to peak out the small window next to the main door that overlooked the street to make sure the coast was clear. Killian didn’t know if David was watching. If he was, he didn’t say anything. Killian, quick and quiet on his feet, snuck into Robin’s office and soundlessly closed the door before taking a seat in front of the computer screen. Robin would surely kill him if he was caught. Glancing back at the door to make sure he was alone, Killian pressed a button bringing the monitor to life. Killian tapped his foot anxiously while the computer brought up the web browser. _He really shouldn’t be doing this. He could get caught, but what other choice did he have? He was desperate!_ With the web browser up, Killian clicked on the search engine and typed the words: “how to please a woman orally.” The first things to pop up was a blog entry for men, a self-help site written by a woman as a guide for men, and an article in men’s fitness. The last thing on the first page of results was about the female erogenous zones and how to use them to bring a woman to orgasm. That seemed promising, so Killian clicked it. Killian scanned the article trying to figure out if this person had the proper credentials to give advice. It seemed harmless enough. Killian soaked up the knowledge like a sponge, making note of every technique listed. Although he didn’t think he could perform to the letter, at least he wouldn’t be going into the situation blind. Killian’s head was filled with words like: g-spot, clitoris, multiple orgasms. It was hard to keep it all straight. The next thing Killian looked up was sex tips more specifically what to expect. The articles that came up were not helpful. All of the articles out there about losing your virginity were targeted towards woman. As far as Killian could tell, Emma was not a stranger to sexual intercourse. Killian groaned, his hand going to his face in frustration. Maybe textual advice wasn’t what he was after. They were in the digital age; he could easily search for a video on the subject instead. Switching tactics, Killian ran a broad search for porn. He had  hit a new level of low and felt dirty just typing the word. He wasn’t the type that needed porn to get himself going; he had always relied on his imagination to get him through his orgasms, but his imagination would only take him so far, he needed to see it firsthand. The search yielded several results, but where to start? There was: oral sex, girl on girl, girl on guy, threesomes, role play, anal. He was defiantly not venturing _there_ ; his mind could hardly consider the idea of sticking something like his penis _there._ He would have to refine his search. He typed the words: girl on guy and vaginal penetration. Wincing at the millions of videos the popped up of people doing the horizontal tango in more ways than his mind had could have even comprehended. _Gods, how did she get her legs to do that?!_ He turned his head to the side, trying to make heads or tails of the video preview. Upon further inspection of the video preview he decided he needed something a little more basic, generic, realistic. _Who was he kidding?! It was bloody porn! It wasn’t supposed to be realistic!_ Taking another shot in the dark he added the words: blonde woman with dark haired male. _Surely, if you could get specific in your porn about gender, age and race; you could get more specific with overall appearance. He should want the actors to look like him and Emma, right?_ The first video he clicked on had a raunchy, cheesy, porn-like plot to it. The fake blonde depicted played the character of a lonely house wife while her dark haired partner played the pool boy. He didn’t get past their veiled innuendo before stopping the video and going back to the other, more promising search results. Killian clicked on yet another video, this one cutting right to the chase as Robin’s office filled with the sounds of moaning. The video in question showed a blonde with her head thrown back in ecstasy as she rode her partner. _She seemed to be enjoying herself…_

“What the hell are you doing?” A voice sounded from the doorway, startling Killian, his hand on the mouse pressing down harder from fright causing the excessive moaning to get louder. There, leaning against the doorway was David. _Shit!_

“I can explain…” Killian began to reason with him, the color in his cheeks rising in embarrassment, his hand furiously clicking to turn the volume down. Why he didn’t just stop the video all together or close out the window, he didn’t know. David took a few casual steps into the office towards his friend and co-worker.

“Killian? Something you want to share?” he asked, puzzled. It’s not as if he found him jerking himself off to the video, _thank God_ , but seeing his friend this flustered and this desperate was new. Killian wheeled himself out from under the desk, his body twisting to meet David’s as the video continued to play silently in the background.

“I needed to do some uh… _research,”_ Killian coughed trying to soften the blow, wincing, waiting for the reaction he knew he would surely get from David. David motioned for him to continue regaling him with his tale. Killian rolled his eyes, of course he wouldn’t just expect a half-ass answer.  If there was one thing David excelled in, it was being incredibly nosy. He was always shoving his big fat nose where it didn’t belong.

“Emma wants to have sex. I just wanted to be prepared… I don’t know what to expect…” Killian stuttered over his confession, like his reasoning made absolutely no sense at all. _Maybe he was a pervert?_

“Oh, is that all?” David laughed, shaking his head and pushing Killian aside, setting his fingers on the keyboard causing Killian’s eyebrows to shoot up into his hairline. This, he was definitely not expecting.

“You are looking in the wrong place,” David said sharply, his hands typing furiously at the keys.

“This is what you want,” David announced, clicking the ‘enter’ tab, bringing up a moderately less intimidating porn website. Killian couldn’t wipe the confusing look from face. _What in the hell was David on about?_

“Well, don’t look so surprised. I have a reputation to protect you know. If you suck, it won’t take long before its traced back to me. I am your _only_ friend,” he reminded. Killian rolled his eyes, his friend was a complete idiot.

“Um. This one,” David pointed at the screen. Killian hesitated for a beat or two before finally clicking the video and having it load on the page. He was very uncomfortable watching this with David in the room. Some people may watch porn together, but that was a line Killian wasn’t willing to cross.

“Do you mind? I’m grateful for the help, really I am, but I am _not_ watching this with you!” Killian insisted, nearly screaming at him.

“Fine! Fine!” David relented, putting his hands up in defensive pose.

“I will just turn around and let you watch it. Sound good?” David said turning his body away from the computer screen and crossing his arms.

“No!” Killian growled turning his head back in David’s direction.

“Out!” Killian barked pointing towards the door.

“Fine, I’ll just go play lookout,” David surrendered, closing the door behind him to give Killian some much needed privacy.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian had to hand it to David; he did know his porn. Not that he had any desire to know about the kind of porn David likes to watch. The vanilla, plain-Jane sex David showed him was just what he was after, but in the end it was still just porn. Nothing could really compare to the real deal. Luckily, the website had more scenarios to offer. _How on earth was he supposed to live up to the men in these videos? All glistening chests and muscles, always hard._ Not that that was a problem for him, but there was a lot of pressure to perform. It did nothing to cool his nerves.

“Killian!” David yelled from the interior of the garage. Killian’s head shot up from the computer screen, his fingers moving over the mouse to close out the open windows on the computer as fast as he possibly could. Killian managed to get all the tabs closed and the monitor back on stand-by before Robin reached his office.

“What are you doing in here?” Robin asked, his arms crossed, attempting to be intimidating. Killian could see David standing behind him, mouthing something to him and jingling keys.

“ _What?”_ Killian mouthed behind Robin, to David, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. David was able to jingle the keys in his hands once more before drawing attention from Robin.

“Killian, I found the keys to the Saturn,” David said tossing his partner in crime the keys, Killian catching them in his hands.

“Sorry Robin. I was looking for the keys to a car. They weren’t where they should have been. Thought they might’ve been in here,” Killian shrugged.

“Okay,” Robin said, his hands on his face.

“Get back to work. There’s still a lot to do, and watch your language, Roland is around here somewhere,” Robin cautioned as Killian stepped around him to exit the office, keys in hand.

“Thanks for that back there. That was close,” Killian whispered to David before striding back to the car he was working on before.

“So you and Emma, huh?” David insinuated, screwdriver in hand.

“Yeah, but it’s not really like _that,”_ Killian tried to explain.

“Killian, I hate to break it to you, but you were looking at porn. It’s like _that,_ ”  David gave a hardy laugh.

“No, that’s not what I meant. She doesn’t want a relationship. She just wants to have… _fun…”_ Killian said, the word almost sounding bitter on his tongue.

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” David noted.

“She said she doesn’t do relationships. I have to be in her life, so I agreed to whatever it is _this_ is,” he explained, dusting off his hands and reaching up to pull down the hood of the car he was working on.

“It sounds like a problem that I’d very much like to have. Any guy really,” David countered.

“Yeah, but I’m not most guys. I’m not a _casual_ kind of guy,” Killian leaned down on the hood, using air quotes for the word: casual.

“Killian you are the only person I know that would complain about the way he’s going to lose his virginity,” David muttered.

“Dave, I’m the only guy you know _period,_ ” Killian teased.

“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be complaining. You’re finally going to lose your virginity! Stop trying to find fault in it and just embrace it. It’s a _good_ thing.”

“This coming from the man who hasn’t done more than grabbed Melony Goodall’s boob in 8th grade?” Killian shook his head in remembrance of a simpler time when he went to public school, had actual friends and was actually allowed to be a kid for a change.

“Hey! Best thirty seconds of my life!” David defended causing Killian to laugh.

“So when is this supposed to go down?” David asked.

“Tomorrow,” Killian replied, his nerves beginning to show again. David walked over to Killian, taking out his wallet and retrieving a small aluminum package from the fold of his wallet and handing it to Killian.

“What is this?” Killian asked looking down at the item in the palm of his hand.

“Seriously? After all the research you did! If you don’t know what this is, I’d say you have a much bigger problem on your hands than performance. That poor girl… ” David said, his voice trailing off.

“Oy! I know what it is! What I don’t understand is why you are giving it to me,” Killian replied holding the thing in his hand as far away from as possible like it was toxic.

“This is my lucky condom. I’ve had it in my wallet since freshman year,” David grinned.

“If you’ve had it in your wallet for four years I highly doubt its ability to bring you good fortune. Besides, don’t these things have expiration dates?” Killian asked inspecting the Trojan in his hand.

“I gave it to you for a more _symbolic_ reason than a practical one,” David clapped him on the back.

“Gee… thanks Dave, I’ll cherish it _forever_ ,” Killian said sarcastically unsure of the response David was looking for.

“That’s the right idea.”

“Boys!” Robin’s voice bellowed from his office  before stomping out onto the garage floor.

“Does someone want to tell me why there is a website called _Busty Blondes_ on my browser history?” Robin demanded. Killian and David both exchanged panicked looks, neither of them willing to make eye contact with their boss, afraid of looking too guilty.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

The condom sitting in the folds of his wallet located in the back pocket of his black jeans seemed to weigh him down the next day on his way to Emma’s. _Lucky condom, my ass._ It’s as if there was a neon sign saying, “I’m carrying a condom in my wallet and I’m about to get laid!” Maybe he was just being paranoid. It could have just been that a raggedy looking teenager had no business being anywhere near the upper east side of Manhattan before noon on a Sunday. He could hardly sleep when he got home around 10:30 the previous night. To get out of his own thoughts, he went for a run around his block. Suffice to say it did little to calm his nerves. Earlier that morning he dressed and groomed himself as if he was going into battle. _Wasn’t he?_ Killian spent more time than he normally did in the shower, cleaning every inch of his skin even as the water turned cold. He even spent a few minutes in the shower jerking himself off. He had read somewhere that jerking off a few times before intercourse itself might help him last longer, but that might have just been a myth. Killian wasn’t taking any chances. The second thing he decided on was: to shave or not shave. Killian assumed Emma liked him just the way he was, so he left it be. Killian felt like a girl rummaging through all the clothes he owned deciding on what to wear. _What would Emma like best? Does it really even matter? It’s all going to end up on the floor anyway… Does she like blue or gray better?_ Before Killian lost his mind he settled on a pair of black boot cut jeans, by far the nicest pair of pants he owned apart from his uniform trousers, a simple black leather belt, a black V-neck shirt and an open dark blue long-sleeved button up that he left open. Lastly, he placed his leather jacket along with his sketch pad and a fresh box of Trojans he had picked up at the drug store on his way home from his run and tucked them safely into his messenger bag before heading out the door.

When Killian arrived, the door man recognized him from his last two visits and sent him right up, judging him the entire way to the elevator doors.  Again, with the neon sign. Killian was left in lonely silence on the ride up to Emma’s penthouse. He thought he might have preferred a nosier elevator ride. He needed the distraction, anything to take his mind off of how nervous he was. The usual two minute long elevator ride seemed to drag on endlessly as he shuffled his feet back and forth, unable to keep still.

When at last the elevator chimed and the doors opened, Killian stepped off the platform walking into the apartment to find it secluded and dark with the exception of the mid-day light peeking out from the curtain-less windows.

“Emma?” he called out for her in the darkness. No answer. As Killian got closer to the stairs he could hear the sound of music playing softly in the background. Killian took the stairs one by one slowly, almost trying to put off the inevitable. The upstairs was just as dark as the downstairs with the exception of the bit of light coming from under the door of Emma’s bedroom. Readjusting his bag onto his shoulder, he stopped at the closed door, the source of the music clear now. Killian took one deep calming breath attempting to soothe himself as his hand rested on top of the door knob. _It was now or never._ The room was quiet with the exception of the soft 80’s ballad playing out of a speaker on top of the desk. The space was covered in lit candles, setting the mood. Killian gulped. _I guess Emma had some expectations for what they were going to be doing today. He always thought that sex was merely just a suggestion. He was wrong._ Killian’s palms grew sweaty under the rising pressure.

That was before he caught sight of the figure encased in black lace on the bed. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Emma’s figure bathed in the candle light. She was a vision. Killian inwardly groaned. Emma was posed seductively on the bed in her outfit of choice or lack thereof: a black lace teddy that stretched over a small triangle of fabric of the same material, the length of it ending at her gorgeous thighs. Killian gaped in her direction, his bag slipping off his shoulder and onto the floor, a satisfied smirk tugging at her plump red painted lips at his reaction, her pert breasts peeking out over the lacy fabric, her blonde curls cascading down her back. She was perfection. Just like that, Killian’s fears disappeared, it just took Emma in lingerie to do it.

“Come join me,” she beckoned with a crook of her finger, her body maneuvering to sit on her legs on the bed. It was then that he noticed the black platform heels she wore with her silly excuse for clothing. Killian wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers before dragging his feet on the floor as he made his way towards the bed to take a seat next to Emma.

“Hey,” she smiled wrapping her arms around his side, Killian was as stiff as a board, unmoving, unyielding.

“Hey,” he said scratching behind his ear nervously. This was sufficiently awkward. Getting over his initial fears was one thing, figuring out how to proceed was something else entirely different.

“Wait, you’re not nervous are you?” she asked pressing her breasts into his shoulder, innocently chewing on her bottom lip. He could feel her actions go straight to his cock, his pants tightening considerably.

“A little…” he admitted, his arm slack around her waist.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” she purred, bending to nip at his earlobe with her teeth. Killian eased her back slowly so their eyes were locked, her arms still around his neck, half sitting in his lap, half sitting on her own legs.

“But I don’t want to be taken care of. I want to do the _caring for,_ ” Killian said before moving his hands down to give her ass a firm squeeze and using it to prop her down on the bed with him hovering above her. This took Emma completely off guard and turned her on, Killian Jones was taking charge. The thought made the wetness gather in the scrap of fabric she called panties. Killian inhaled before drawing his lips to hers, swallowing her gasp of surprise, his intense eyes as black as night making her shiver in pleasure. Killian’s fingertips trailed from her knee to her thigh, lifting her leg to hook over his waist from behind. He could feel the heels of her shoes digging into his ass, her body trying to pull him in further to her mouth. Killian dragged his lips to her neck, sucking on the sensitive spot that made her wriggle under his grasp, the hand on her thigh coming to thumb at the lacy material covering her bare ass. Killian grew more confident with every move he made. _He could do this._

“ _God, Emma,”_ he whispered huskily against her neck. He moved his head to where it was level with the cleavage popping out of the thin lace and dipped his tongue inside, sampling the sweet taste of her skin. It was too tempting not to. His spare hand that had been holding her to him came to rest on the swell of her breasts and moved flat against the material that obscured her curves from his gaze. Leaning back on his knees, Killian gripped her hips, stilling them, to bunch the material against her stomach before hooking a thumb into both sides of her panties and pushing them down her gorgeous legs. Once the deed was done, he looked back into her eyes, blue on green, her hair spread out like a golden halo on the pillow behind her, her arms slack on either side of her head, her breasts heaving with every breath she took. _So beautiful._ And she was all _his_. Killian lowered his head, his hot breath causing her to grow even wetter.

“Killian, you don’t-” Emma’s eyes going wide with lust when she realized his intentions, but before she could finish, Killian put a finger to her lips effectively silencing her.

“I want to make you feel good darling. I won’t last long inside you,” he chided, his hooded eyes meeting hers from his spot between her legs.

“Have you ever-?”

“No,” he smiled before burying his head in her delicious heat, his nose nuzzling at her clit making her cry out, the hands resting above her head shooting to grasp at the hair on top of his head to encourage him further, the other clutching at the sheets. The sensation made Emma delirious, subconsciously pushing her center closer to his waiting mouth. His stubble burned and scratched delectably at her open thighs. Killian licked a long languid teasing stripe against her aching folds to test her reaction before diving straight in with his tongue and teeth, fucking her with his mouth. Emma bucked her hips, riding his mouth searching for some sort of release. Killian took that as a good sign. Emma’s scent filled his senses, the taste of her on his lips so sublime that he couldn’t get enough. Killian’s mind went back to the article he read and used it to his advantage. Killian changed tactics, pulling his mouth from her and attacking her clit with his tongue, lapping up every bit of moisture he could, a string of curses leaving her lips as she threw her head back, her hand digging further into his hair. Killian was quite proud of himself up to this point. Her thighs clamped around his head at her impending orgasm. This was it. He began to suck her clit into his mouth, using his teeth to nibble on the sensitive tissue sending her into the release she had desperately been seeking. She came hard, her fingers clawing at his hair, her hips bucking wildly into his mouth, chanting his name like a prayer. Killian downed her release eagerly, savoring every last drop before being let go from her strong hold on him. Emma snapped her head up to his, their eyes meeting, he looked positively wrecked, her juices dripping erotically from his chin, his eyes cloudy with sexual need. He had a look in his eyes that made her think he could eat her alive.

“Are you sure that was your first time doing that?” she asked panting. He gave her a sheepish smile and worked his lips down one side of her leg and removed the heel attached to her foot. He repeated the actions with the other leg, her shoe falling to the floor with a muffled thump.

“You are too overdressed,” she said pulling him back to her and maneuvering them to where she was now on top of him. She playfully walked her fingers from his belt buckle to the collar of his shirt, lifting him up slightly to remove his shirt, leaving him bare before her. Emma rocked her hips teasingly into his, a strangled groan tearing from his lips at the pressure building in his pants, his cock aching to be inside her. Emma licked her lips at the sound she elicited from him, her hands working furiously at his belt and pants to free him, not being able to stand another second without having him inside her. Emma raked her nails down his chest, then moving to pull his pants down his legs, taking his briefs with them. At last he was free, his cock standing at attention under her gaze, pre-cum glistening from the tip. Emma began rubbing at her own breast under the lacy fabric of her teddy, Killian gawked at her as she ground her wet cunt against his stiff length.

“ _Fuck, Emma,_ ” Killian doubled over in pleasure. His hands went to her sides, his fingers running up against the fabric before getting her to shed the offending article of clothing altogether. Killian’s hands sunk underneath her pubic bone, sliding against her slick folds and once again stimulating her clit with his thumb, working her up even more. Emma hummed with pleasure as his other hand slid back up her stomach and pawed at her breast, his fingers pinching her erect nipple.

“ _Fuck Killian! I need you inside me,”_ she whimpered under his touch. Killian sucked in a breath, grabbing the back of her head and rolling them over so he was now on top of her, his cock positioned at her entrance, his sweaty forehead colliding with hers.

“Emma… protection,” he reminded her quietly, afraid that bringing up the subject could possibly kill the mood. Yet another helpful tip he read on the internet yesterday.

“Don’t need it,” Emma shook her head.

“But-“

“I’ve been on the depo shot for months,” she cut him off, placing her hands on his pecs. And there goes the one subject Killian had forgotten to research. _Shit._ He assumed she was talking about a type of alternative birth control, but weren’t there other things that could happen with unprotected sex besides unwanted pregnancies that he should be concerned about?

“Trust me,” she breathed, her hands moving down his chest to give his cock an experimental tug. Killian didn’t bother spending any more time thinking about any of the possible consequences. His cock was about to explode with want for her.

“You sure?” Killian asked.

“Killian I swear to God if you don’t get inside of me I-“ Killian didn’t wait for her to finish before he lined up with her entrance and pushed inside of her. The sensation of being inside her welcoming heat made him dizzy. _Was this what it felt like?_ She felt like heaven wrapped around him. He never wanted to leave. He surged forward, burying himself to the hilt inside her, her cunt gripping his penis so tightly he thought he might pass out.

“Move! Killian, move!” she begged, bucking wildly underneath him in an attempt to get him to move. Killian got up on his forearms, pulling out until just the tip of him was still inside of her before thrusting himself back in. _Oh god, he was on fire within her. So hot, tight, wet…_ Killian’s eyes rolled back into his head as he moved within her, meeting her thrust for thrust, her vaginal walls tightening around him with every thrust. He began to slow his hips as he felt the tell-tale signs of his impending release. He chased the feeling down, his movements getting deeper and slower as the world around him began to blur. Killian’s eyes snapped shut as his balls clenched, his release shooting inside of her tight wet channel, his head resting into her shoulder, trying to catch his breath, Emma’s hands carding through his hair trying to soothe him. That was one thing that his research had gotten right, it didn’t last very long, the act itself only taking three to five minutes to his disappointment. The articles may have also mentioned that with practice it would get better, longer, more enjoyable for both of them. He was looking forward to testing the theory. Killian could feel himself softening inside her so he moved to pull himself out, his cum coating her thighs in the process. Killian winced at the mess he had made.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun together. I can tell,” Emma purred in his ear, the promise of fun was enough to get him excited again. _She was going to be the death of him._


	9. Nine

Fall rolled around the same as it did every year. With the change of the leaves came changes in other ways. Killian and Emma had been seeing each other for nearly two months. In that time Emma had showed him everything she knew about sex and how to please a woman. Much to Emma’s satisfaction, Killian took to his tutelage like a duck to water. He had been more virginal than the driven snow during winter time, but with Emma’s help he now knew just the right buttons to push to send Emma over the edge, the right motions to make with his tongue when he went down on her and the way she liked to be touched. Killian had also developed a personal relationship with that one spot inside her that had her crying out his name as she climaxed around him. Unknowingly, Emma had turned him into some sort of sex god. Who knew he had it in him? With things going the way they were, Emma had decided that it was time for them to take another big step in their ~~relationship~~ whatever they had. Emma wanted to see where Killian lived.  Killian was hesitant at first, but finally agreed to it. He couldn’t help but think he was making one huge colossal mistake.

“So this is where I live…” he announced dryly. Emma didn’t know what to expect, but she certainly hadn’t expected this. She knew he wasn’t like her. He didn’t come from the same monetary upbringing as she had.

“Oh. Killian,” she touched his face with sincerity, obviously feeling bad for his home life.

“I don’t need your pity Emma!” he growled grabbing her hands and shoving them away from his face.

“Killian I didn’t mean-” she apologized reaching for him once more just to be rejected by him backing away from her.

“You know some of us don’t have penthouses to live in! Not everyone has a driver to take them anywhere they want to go at any time of day!” he bellowed, stepping right into her space, getting right in her face.

“That’s not fair!” she defended staring him down, blinking rapidly with the uncomfortable proximity they were in. She could feel his hot breath on her face. He was almost snarling in anger. This was the first time Emma had truly been scared around him. She knew he would never do anything to hurt her, physically anyway.

“Fair? Let me tell you about fair Emma. Fair is coming home to a house to find your father passed out drunk on the table. Fair is having to share a couch with said father to sleep on every night. Fair is never wanting to come home because you live in a place like _this_!” he shouted, opening up his arms in rage, tears gathering in his eyes. Emma could feel her own tears slipping from her eyes. She was hurt. She watched him saunter over to the previously mentioned table. His shoulders shook with anger, his back to Emma as his fists gripped the edge of the table.

“I work my ass off every day to insure my life is better than it is now. I have to work for what little I _do_ have. And I don’t regret that for a second. It makes me who I am, ” he said proudly, his back still facing her.

“I don’t need bottomless bank accounts and drivers to tell me who I am. And I most certainly don’t need your pity,” he thought aloud, turning back to face her once again.

“Killian-” she stammered.

“Just go Emma…” he muttered dismissively.

“Killian please-” she pleaded.

“Go Emma!” he yelled pointing in the direction of the door. Emma jumped where she stood hearing the tone of voice he used with her.

“Get out!” he screamed again causing Emma to shake with quiet sobs. Emma crossed the room and got out the door as fast as she possibly could. She could understand why he was upset, really she could. She had made a mistake: a mistake she was hopefully going to fix and she knew exactly how. Emma dug through her Fendi bag and dug out a printed envelope, quickly scribbled a note and left it on Killian’s doorstep before walking away. She just hoped this worked.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian woke up abruptly to the sound of a heavy knock, which meant it could only be one person.

“Open up Killian! I know you’re in there,” David’s voice came from the door. Killian had a rough night. He could hardly sleep after his heated exchange with Emma, the guilt of his behavior eating away at him like a bacteria.

“Go away!” he yelled from his spot on the couch, curling further into the comfort of the blankets around him. The knocking only persisted, getting louder.

“Bugger off _mate_!” Killian groaned loudly, his fist pounding the broken exposed part of the couch.

“I’m not going to stop till you answer this door,” David warned.

“Bloody hell,” Killian groaned trying to muster up the strength to leave the safety of the couch. A couple of morning stretches later he picked himself up off the couch, blanket wrapped securely around his body, and shuffled to the door. Killian opened the door to see a smiling David holding a carton of milk in one hand and a box of generic brand frosted flakes in the other. David’s face instantly fell looking upon Killian’s tortured appearance.

“You look awful,” he commented lowering the items in his hand.

“Emma and I had a fight last night,” Killian knocked his head against the side of the door frame.

“Come on, why don’t you come and tell Uncle David all about it over a bowl of Snow Flakes,” David suggested nudging Killian away from the doorway with his foot and inviting himself inside.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“You wanna talk about it?” David asked lifting his spoon of cereal and milk to his mouth before taking a bite.

“I brought Emma home last night,” Killian blurted out his arms adjusting themselves within the blanket he wore around him. David made a motion for him to continue wanting the full story before offering his friend encouraging words.

“She had this look on her face… this pitiful look. You know like she was sorry for me or something,” Killian attempted to articulate obviously not doing a good job of it.

“I pushed her away. Told her I didn’t need someone around telling me how sorry they felt for me. But it wasn’t really like _that_. I got really upset. Started yelling at her… I feel awful about it,” Killian explained. David just nodded trying to take everything in to make a proper decision on how to proceed.

“I don’t know. I think I really fucked up,” Killian admitted truthfully.

“No you didn’t ,” David grinned with a mouth full of cereal. Killian quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“What are you on about?”

“I found this on your doorstep this morning,” David fished the envelope out of his pocket and tossed it across the table to Killian, who greedily took the envelope in his hands and began tearing at it to get to the contents inside. Killian pulled the cardstock with engraved gold lettering out of the envelope and carefully read aloud:

_Albert Archibald Swan requests your presence at the 11 th annual Halloween Masquerade Charity Ball benefiting the Katherine B. Swan foundation for Breast Cancer Research. Saturday, October the 30th at 8:00. Dress to impress in costume. _

“Holy crap! Let me see that!” David demanded snatching the invitation from Killian’s grasp. David quickly reread the invitation and turned it over to inspect the back of it before smiling to himself at the hand written note.

“Look at the backs,” David prompted handing the invitation back to its proper owner.

_Killian, I’m so sorry. Meet me tonight. I will be the one in purple. Xoxoxo, Emma._

Killian smiled to himself after reading Emma’s hand written note. She still cared for him. He hadn’t messed up after all and more importantly she wanted _his_ company tonight.

“This is for tonight,” Killian noticed waving the invitation in the air in panic.

“Exactly,” David nodded smiling.

“I haven’t got a costume!” Killian freaked throwing the invitation down onto the table.

“Then I guess we will just have to go get you one then. Won’t we?” David grinned slyly before finishing off his empty bowl of cereal.

KEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKE

Later that day Killian and David found themselves at the costume rental shop on 54th and Broadway. It was by far the best place in the city to rent costumes.

“Knight?” David suggested holding up a knight’s suit of armor.

“No,” Killian shot down immediately without reason.

“Prince?”

“Too cliché,” Killian scoffed.

“Batman?”

“Dear God no,” Killian refused.

“Circus ring leader?”

“What in the hell?” Killian muttered stepping up to the racks and getting another look at the offending costume.

“I’m going to take that as a no,” David assumed and began to sift through more costumes.

“This is pointless. Have you seen some of the price tags on these? That price is just to rent it!” Killian sighed in frustration, kicking his foot at the air.

“All these costumes… we are bound to find something!” David tried to stay optimistic.

“Do we know what Emma is going as?” David  asked.

“If I knew that I could just dress to match her and this wouldn’t be such a problem,” Killian stomped his foot. David went back to scanning the racks until he came upon something promising. _This would do. Yeah, this would do nicely._

“What do you think of this one?” David held up a leather ensemble for Killian’s scrutiny.

“It’s actually not that terrible,” David attempted to sell him on it. Killian’s finger’s inspected the heavy leather material. Smiling to himself, he picked up the price tag and gasped.

“It’s perfect, but it’s too much,” Killian thought.

“Nonsense. It’s one of the most affordable things we’ve come across in the store,” David defended.

“Don’t be silly. How much do you have?” David licked his lips waiting for his friend to speak.

“I can afford half, and even that’s pushing it a bit,” Killian bit out.

“Then I have the other half,” David smiled in triumph.

“David, I can’t,” Killian shook his head in dispute.

“I’m not letting you get some dime store costume to wear to this thing,” David insisted.

“Thanks David. You’re a good mate,” Killian thanked David and the pair made their way up to the register to pay for the costume.

“Wait until Emma see’s you in this. She’s going to lose it!” David supposed.

“Your total comes to 300 dollars, and the rental is due back a week from today,” the cashier announced. Killian’s eyes met David’s as the boys handed over the money.

“I _will_ pay you back,” Killian vowed.

“Don’t worry about it. Just do me one favor,” David mentioned with a sneaky smirk on his lips. Killian listened for further instruction.

“Get laid in this,” David finally said with a wink, taking the garment bag from the cashier.


	10. Ten

Killian found himself in a cab on his way to the event that was held at the Carlyle Hotel located on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Killian forwent public transportation to avoid any unforeseen accidents that could possibly befall the costume and cost him even more money.  Besides, how ridiculous would he look riding the train into the city looking like he did the day _before_ Halloween? Killian looked down at his attire; how on earth had David been able to talk him into this?

_“Killian!” David yelled from outside the curtain separating the bathroom from the rest of the apartment._

_“Killian, if you don’t come out in thirty seconds I’m coming in there after you dressed or not!” David warned and began counting aloud._

_“5… 4… 3… Killian, get your Irish butt out here!” David commanded. Killian looked unsure of himself emerging from the bathroom dressed in the costume. David’s mouth dropped._

_“You look fantastic!” David gushed in a manly way._

_“I look absolutely ridiculous!” Killian gestured to his get-up._

_“Well that’s because it’s missing something…” David stepped back to study his appearance and nodded to himself as he figured out what that something was. David pulled a cylindrical object from his pants pocket and motioned for Killian to stand closer._

_“No way…” Killian said backing up away from David._

_“Come on, trust me.”_

After collecting the costume Killian and David had raided David’s house for things they could use to accessorize his costume. They ended up finding a realistic looking plastic saber that he hooked onto his belt and some gaudy jewelry belonging to David’s aunt who lived in Long Island. It would have to do on such short notice. Killian glanced down at the mask grasped in his ring garnished fingers that had been the last piece to his costume. The box was dropped off by courier early that afternoon the note attached read:

_See you there. –E.S._

The box had been just as ornate as the black leather mask inside it. Killian’s legs were shaking in anticipation. _Did he look alright? Did he pick the right costume? What if he didn’t recognize Emma?_ His mind was plagued with questions the answers far from his reach.  

“Here we are sir,” the driver broke his thoughts.

“Thank you,” Killian said politely handing him his hard earned money and exiting the cab. Killian had been dropped off a little ways away from the building, although it could be seen from the spot he was at. Town cars and limos lined the street as people gracefully made their way inside the building for the event.  Looking at the men and women in costume, he looked at his own; he deemed it appropriate enough to continue on with the night’s plans. Everyone was wearing handmade couture costumes. Nothing looked cheap. His certainly hadn’t been even though it had been rented. For the first time in his life Killian felt the feeling of acceptance. He blended in well with the crowd entering the building. The building in question was slightly intimidating in its own right.

“Name and invitation please,” the door man requested.

“Oh right,” Killian nodded reaching into his inner jacket pocket to retrieve the invitation.

“Here you are,” Killian handed the card to the door man who looked down at his clip board for the corresponding name on the list.

“Killian Jones. It says you are a personal guest of the host,” the man noted with a questioning eyebrow.

“That I am,” Killian said with conviction.

“Ballroom A, Mr. Jones…” the man ushered him into the building, giving him back his invitation to shove back into his jacket pocket. Killian followed the other guests towards the ballroom and stopped at the doors to secure his mask to his face, the only other thing obscuring his blue eyes was the black eyeliner David had pretty much forced upon him. _Here goes nothing_.

Stepping into the ballroom was like walking onto another planet. Killian was in awe with everything from the golden colored velvet curtains that covered the floor to ceiling windows to the marble ballroom floor. Looking down over the balcony, he could see everything. His eyes trained in on the dancing people below him to scan the crowd for _his_ Emma, the color purple being her only descriptor. Upon further inspection of the ballroom from his bird’s eye view he could see the marble that led into a carpeted area filled with dining tables covered in the same golden color for table cloths. The ballroom was filled with noise including that of the band that was playing instrumental versions of today’s top 40. The wait service passed around plates of veal and caviar, other’s passed around flutes of champagne to the thirsty guests. Killian’s eyes trained back onto the dance floor and there in the center right of the floor was a twirling purple figure with blonde hair, dancing with a short stout man in a black tux with a cape and top hat. _Emma._ Killian strode over to the top of the staircase and began his descent down to ground level, his eyes never leaving the vision in purple. The song was ending as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and he stood off to the side waiting for the music to die out. Killian watched Emma curtsey dramatically to her dance partner, very much playing the part of the fairytale princess she had selected for the evening. Killian couldn’t wipe the childish grin from his lips when he finally saw Emma in all her radiant beauty. Emma was wearing a classic floor length purple ball gown with a jeweled bodice. Her hair was curled into an elegant up-do and finished off with a simple diamond encrusted tiara. His first guess was right. She was indeed a vision.

“And here I thought you were going to be playing the Prince Charming to my princess this evening,” Emma addressed him formally from across the dance floor with a smile, her hands placed delicately on her hips.

“Sorry to disappoint milady,” he shot her a teasing smirk before side stepping around dancers as the music started back up and making his way to Emma.

“May I have this dance?” he bowed before her in a mocking gesture befitting his character.

“I don’t know if my father would allow me to dance with a pirate. What would other people say?” she played along.

“They’d probably say I was coming to whisk you away to my ship and have my wicked way with you,” Killian offered with a devilish smirk and taking the last few steps that separated them from one another.

“Then they would be telling the truth,” Emma admitted pulling Killian towards her by the hand, the two crashing into each other.

“Although I’d be willing to admit that the entire thing was the princess’s idea,” she whispered huskily into his ear, her hands went to wrap around his neck pulling him into a dance.

“You look incredible Killian. I am so glad you came,” she said, her left hand falling to rest on his lower back.

“I’m glad you forgave me. I’m so sorry Emma. I was out of line when I said-” Killian began before a lilac colored gloved finger met his lips successfully silencing him.

“It’s in the past,” Emma chided. Killian moved to spin her out and then caught her back into his arms, a soft giggle falling from her lips.

“Where did you learn to dance?”

“I’m a man of many talents,” he wiggled his eyebrows. Emma gave him a look that said _as if._

“Susan taught me before my very first Jr. High dance. Said every proper man needed to know how to dance,” he relented the information, a firm memory of the time played in his head. A gentle “aw” broke from Emma’s lips in response.

“What you see here are the fruits of her labor. It took quite some time to get down,” Killian explained with a hardy laugh.

“You thought that was good wait,” Killian rested his hand on her back, his other hand firmly clasped in hers as he moved to dip her lower and snapped her back into his upper body before she slid down to plant her feet firmly back on the ground.

“That _was_ masterful,” she breathed, her lips close enough to touch his as the music faded to an end, her eyelashes fluttering as she gazed into his hypnotic blue eyes. The music once again started up, a melancholy sort of rhythm echoed around them. Killian shoved his overwhelming emotions aside and opted to just pull Emma into him for another dance wrapped in his arms before saying something he would regret later. He was always reminding himself of the casualty of their relationship.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

(AN: At this stage in the chapter Killian and Emma have removed their masks.)

An hour into the party, after the band had just finished playing a particularly upbeat song, the dance having them both trying to catch their breath Killian asked, “Can I get you anything?”

“Another glass of champagne,” she requested her hands waving in front of her face acting as a fan for her flushed skin.

“As you wish,” he bowed, staying in character before going to find a waiter to get her a drink.

He hadn’t been gone for even five minutes when he returned to find Emma being harassed by a man in a prince costume, his mask removed. _Ironic._ Killian marched forward towards them; Emma looked like she was being given a hard time. Killian was a few steps away from the pair when the man attempted to put his arms around Emma. Killian wasted no time moving in to save the day. Setting the glass in his hand down on the nearest table as he prepared to intervene.

“Step off Neal!” she shoved him backwards, his form falling and disrupting a nearby dancing couple.

“Come on Em- for old time’s sake,” Neal smiled smugly. The smile nearly making Emma sick to her stomach.

“I’m here with someone!” she refuted.

“I don’t see him anywhere,” Neal countered moving into Emma’s personal space again.

“I believe the lady said she was here with someone,” Killian stepped beside Emma to wrap a protective arm around her.

“Lady?” Neal scoffed.

“More like a tramp. Girl, can’t keep her legs closed,” Neal mocked, Killian could feel Emma’s grasp tighten around him. She was clearly uncomfortable. _How dare he._

“How long before she gave it up to you, huh?” Neal taunted in Killian’s direction. Killian tried to fight out of Emma’s hold on him just to be tugged back by her.

“He’s not worth it,” Emma pleaded with him.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to ruin that pretty face of his,” Neal came at him again. _Now he was just asking for it._ This time Killian successfully broke free from Emma and was now staring down Neal in a blatant show of testosterone.

“Guys please,” Emma attempted to shove Killian away from Neal.

“Is there a problem here children?” a greasy voice asked from behind them. All three heads turned towards the voice that belonged to none other than Robert Gold, the real estate tycoon and Neal’s father. Emma began to tremble at the sight of the small man that held himself well for someone with an injury and walked with the use of a cane. He was formidable in his own respect and commanded any room like a shark on the hunt, even with half of his face covered. Killian took a few careful steps backwards retreating back to Emma.

“Well, well, well… Miss Swan. Why am I not surprised to find you stuck in the middle of all this?” his slimy voice sending shivers up Emma’s spine. Emma had a difficult history with Mr. Gold. Mr. Gold was her father’s biggest competitor in the business world. Their public real estate battles constantly graced the covers of respectable business magazines. It was quite a scandal when Emma became involved with Neal two years ago. Neither her father nor her step-mother approved of the match based on that fact alone.

“Mr. Gold, it’s nice to see you again,” Emma gulped seeking comfort in Killian’s hand in hers.

“If only it were under better circumstances. I expected better from you Miss Swan,” Mr. Gold sounded disappointed, his stance very commanding, a leg straddled each side of his cane.

“With all due respect sir, Emma did nothing. Neal forced himself upon Emma. I was just defending her,” Killian choked out hoping for some reprieve. Emma’s head bent done in shame. Killian had no idea who this man was and more importantly who he was related to.

“What exactly are you insinuating occurred between _my_ son and Miss Swan here?” Killian’s eyes widened at the revelation and in that moment realized there was nothing he could do to win.

“Miss Swan has quite the reputation. I find it very hard to believe _my_ son would force himself upon her,” Mr. Gold accused. Emma could barely hold herself up against Killian’s frame under Mr. Gold’s gaze. This man was a snake. A slithery, slimy, cold blooded snake. Killian looked over in Neal’s direction, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“It’s best you stay away from this _one_ young man. She will most certainly get you into trouble,” Mr. Gold sneered sounding disgusted to even be in Emma’s presence.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” he said gathering Neal and leaving them standing alone, dumb-founded over what had just occurred. Emma twisted her body into Killian’s protective embrace, her head going into the juncture of his neck, her shoulders shaking in silent sobs. The man had basically called her a lying harlot. Killian’s arms tucked around Emma’s upper back in a sign of support, his lips curling into a snarl of anger as he watched Mr. Gold and Neal in the distance.

“Let’s get out of here,” Killian suggested making smoothing circles on her back with his hand. Emma lifted her head from the safety of his neck. Killian would give anything to be able to take away the look Emma had on her face. She had been disgraced in a public platform, treated as if she were a leper. Mr. Gold went as far to suggest she be quarantined. The thought drove him into madness. He was shaking with rage. He just wanted to get Emma out of here as fast as he possibly could, their perfect night soiled with no chance of redemption.

Killian took Emma by the hand, dragging her through the throng of people still enjoying the party. The two made a mad dash through the lobby and out the side exit where Emma’s driver waited for her. Killian helped Emma into the cozy back seat of the limo and slid in next to her, the silence was suffocating.

“Where to?” the driver asked from the other side of the half open partition. Killian looked at Emma’s face for a hint of an answer. She didn’t budge. Should Killian take her to her house or does he take her to his? No that was a bad idea.

“Just drive please,” Killian answered.

“Yes sir,” the driver nodded before closing the partition up the rest of the way as the vehicle began to move.

“I’m so sorry Emma,” Killian shook his head in dismay. He didn’t think there was anything he could possibly do or say to make this better. At the moment he felt completely helpless. Killian heard Emma huff before her hands reached for her hair, ripping the tiara from her head and flinging it across the limo. Her hands began to claw wildly at her gorgeous up-do, successfully tearing it apart until her hair was a mess of bouncy girls. Even in this state, Killian had to admit she was still beautiful. Emma removed her silky hand gloves and pushed her hips out to work the outer part of her dress down her legs leaving her in just her petticoat. Emma struggled with the clasps holding together the bodice of her dress and turned to Killian for assistance. Killian silently obliged, moving Emma’s hair to the side of her neck to begin undoing the clasps. The last article of clothing to be removed was the petticoat which she shimmied down her legs and gathered in a pool at her feet leaving Emma in a scandalous corseted number in black: black stockings connected black panties with a black garter belt. Killian’s mouth dried instantly and he lost all train of thought at the sight.

“Kiss me,” she demanded leaning in closer to him. She needed to feel good. More importantly she needed _him_ to make her feel good.

“What?” Killian could barely believe what he was hearing. She was just humiliated and she wanted him to... with her?

“Killian, you want to make things better?” Emma asked. Killian nodded his head.

“Kiss me. That wasn’t a request,” she specified. Killian matched the remaining distance between their bodies and connected their lips. Killian placed his hand on the back of Emma’s head, his fingers twisting into her wild mane of blonde curls in an attempt to control the kiss. Emma’s tongue fought with his for dominance, his mouth devouring her moans.

“Emma… _love_ …” Killian began to break away from the warm cavern of her mouth.

“I can’t, darling. It wouldn’t be right,” he tried to explain. The last thing he expected to happen after that evening’s events was for her to jump him in a pathetic attempt to erase her feelings of disgrace by using her sexuality against him. As much as he wanted her, he didn’t want her like _this_.

“Killian, I don’t even care about _that_. I just need to be with you,” she pleaded with him with her eyes. Everything he was thinking went against his better judgment. She was emotionally unstable and wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Killian… _please,_ ” she begged, her body writhing on the black leather seat, caressing her body seductively to sway his decision.

“As you wish,” he agreed, his body thrust against hers, his lips at her neck, his hands stroking the creamy skin of her bare thighs. Emma tossed her head back as Killian teased her neck with his mouth, her hands carding through his hair. Killian slid down her body, the leather of his outfit touching her overly heated and over sensitized skin made her grow wetter.  Killian found himself on his knees before her, Emma’s delicious body laid out before him like a feast for a starving man. Killian locked his arms around her legs pulling her forward to reach his mouth which he then used to blow hot air against her panty-clad cunt, her panties soaked through with her juices. Killian nuzzled his nose against the wet patch of her underwear. Emma pushed her center closer to his face in response.

“So wet Emma. What’s got you all worked up sweetheart?” he continued to nuzzle her as he spoke, Emma wriggling her body to get impossibly close to the person who stood in between her and her promised relief. His dark words sent Emma into a tizzy, moans ripped from her throat. Killian’s fingers hooked into the edge of her panties and encouraged Emma to lift her hips so he could remove them properly. Emma braced her hands against the seat, clawing at the leather for purchase as her panties slid down her legs. Finally free, Emma let out a sigh of reprieve.

“ _God_ , Emma,” Killian said huskily the moment his fingers touched her wet entrance, the moisture gathering on his fingertips.

“ _Killian…”_ Emma groaned bucking her hips against his hand, his opposite hand shot out against her shoulder in an effort to still her movements. Killian paused his attentions to her long enough to shuck his leather trench coat from his shoulders along with the toy cutlass that was strapped to his belt; it had gotten far  too warm in the back of the limo. Emma licked her lips appreciatively at the full sight of Killian’s costume.  Left in just his black linen shirt, red vest and tight leather pants, Killian flung his mouth onto her lap to begin drinking greedily from her dripping cunt. Killian held her steady, an arm under each of her legs pulling her closer to him as he alternated between sucking and lapping at her core, Emma thrashing above him, a hand firmly placed on the roof of the car for balance. The sensation of Killian’s scruff scraping against her inner thighs was delicious as she rode his mouth. The taste of her on his tongue was euphoric, he couldn’t get enough. The last kink in her armor was when he added his fingers into the mix, his mouth and tongue doing downright sinful things to her with the added addition of his thumb stimulating her bundle of nerves that was just _aching_ to be touched. Killian felt Emma tense above him, her legs clamping around his head tightly, her orgasm washing over her. Killian hungrily lapped up her release helping her to ride out her orgasm. Emma fell back against the headrest her fingers gently moving through Killian’s sweaty locks for a job well done. The sight of Killian’s mouth and beard covered in her juices was nearly pornographic, pulling him towards her for a repeat battle with their mouths, tasting herself on his tongue was just the icing on the cake.

“Turn around love,” Killian whispered gruffly into her ear, Emma had to bite back a feral moan as she turned around like he requested, her sweaty legs slipping and sliding against the leather of the back seat. Emma could hear the sound of the unbuckling of his belt and the slide of the leather leaving his hips. Successfully removing his pants, Killian grabbed Emma by the hip and grinded her against his growing erection, his hand moving to once again play with her clit. Emma pressed her ass against his erection, silently motivating him to continue.

“ _Fuck,_ Killian,” she grunted sliding her wet crotch against his hardened length begging for stimulation, hands firmly gripping the head rest in front of her.

“ _Fuck_ me!” she moaned, pleaded for another release, the growing tension in her lower body driving her insane with need. Killian’s grasp was bruising against her hip as he brought his throbbing cock to her wet entrance, his lips pressed tightly to her ear so she could hear every noise she made him make. Killian moaned appreciatively as his cock was buried deep inside her, her wet cunt gripping him so deliciously _tight_ his eyes rolled back into his head. Emma met him thrust for thrust, her ass hitting his constricting balls every time. Emma reached around him and brought his head closer to her, pulling him into a searing kiss. Killian picked up the motion of his thrusts bringing her closer to the edge with every shove of his hips inside of her. Killian’s hands went to her neck, cupping it lightly, the metal of his rings caressing her skin, propelling himself forward in search of release.

“ _Emma_ ,” he groaned into her ear, Emma’s teeth chewing on her bottom lip to keep from moaning too loudly.

“ _Fuck._ Killian, I’m so close,” Emma keened loudly, Killian’s hand around her neck moving to silence her mouth, Emma slipped his finger in between her moist lips, sucking at the digit in time with his thrusts. This sent Killian tumbling over the edge, his body slumped spilling his seed inside of her. With his body sated, he worked the hand on her hip to cup her sex to rouse the climax that she was on the brink of.

_“Killian_!” she screamed her sweaty hair falling against his shoulder as her orgasm hit her hard. Killian wilted forward as his thrusts slowed, working her through her release.

“You are so fucking beautiful when you come for me Emma,” Killian panted into her ear, tearing one last moan from her lips. Killian pulled out swiftly disconnecting them and falling into a heap on the floor of the limo, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Emma tucked her head underneath Killian’s chin trying to settle their heaving bodies.

“You’re getting better,” she noted with a smile on her lips, her fingers playing with the fabric of his red vest.

“I had a good teacher,” he admitted placing a kiss to her sweat soaked hair.

Both Emma and Killian would later admit to never being able to look at the back seat of the limo the same way ever again.


	11. Eleven

The Monday after the charity ball had gotten off to a rough start. Killian had gotten up later, got ready for school later, and was currently running a good twenty-five minutes late to his first period class. If he hurried he could catch the last fifteen minutes of class and see Emma. Killian ran through the halls trying to get himself to what was left of class that morning when he made a last minute decision to cut through the middle courtyard that had tables in the center for the students to dine during their lunch hour. Bad idea. Killian skidded to a halt in front of a figure next to a potted plant, the character’s back leaning against the brick wall, a joint hanging from his lips. _Neal._

“You lost Jones?” he asked taking a drag of his joint, the overwhelming smell of marijuana filling the surrounding area. Killian wafted the air around him, coughing on the fumes.

 “I never pegged you as someone who skips on a regular basis,” Neal gave him an amused tight lipped smile.

“I’m not, I’m just late for class,” Killian choked out, shifting the weight of his feet and adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

“Enjoying my sloppy seconds, Jones?” Neal asked finishing his joint and stomping it out on the ground, his eyes looking up to meet Killian’s as he said it. Killian’s fists clenched at his sides, his lower lip trembling to control the snarl about to break free.

“Watch it…” Killian warned.

“Or _what_?” Neal challenged, his arms stretched out as if to say ‘bring it’.

“That’s right. You’ll do nothing… because you are such a _good_ boy,” Neal taunted pushing off from the wall, taking a few careful steps towards Killian.

“You know you really put me in a bind the other night,” he accused, recalling the incident at the ball.

“Did I? My apologies _mate_ ,” Killian said smugly, a crooked smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“You don’t have a clue as to just who you’re dealing with, do you?” Neal stepped up to Killian, the toes of their shoes meeting one another, his face in his personal space, Neal’s chest puffed out in a failed attempt to intimidate him. _Neal was a ponce and he deserved to have his head bashed in._

“Why don’t you remind me?” Killian leered. Neal shoved his hands up against his chest, the table behind him breaking his fall as his head knocked against the hard stone surface, his bag falling by the way side. _That was going to leave a bruise._ Killian’s hand went to his head, checking for blood, a sigh of relief falling from his mouth when he found none.

“Get up you punk!” Neal jeered, towering above him. _Bad form._ Killian picked himself up, tossing his head back before taking a quick side jab to Neal’s jaw in retaliation. Neal faltered, taking a few stumbling steps backwards holding his injured face.

“Impressive! Didn’t think you had it in you!” he spat, circling Killian like a shark, his fist colliding with his left eye, countering with a stiff punch to the gut making Killian double over in pain. The gloves were coming off now. Killian was never one to back down from a fight. He had been boxing with David every day after work since he started working in the garage three years ago. Neal was in for a rude awakening. Killian sent a smooth uppercut to his jaw and elbowed him hard in the nose; a fierce crack rang out around them.

“ _Mother fucker!”_ Neal took a few steps back, clutching his nose with the palms of his hands.

_“Son of a bitch_! Did you just break my nose?!” Neal shouted, removing his hands so Killian could see the blood trickling down to his mouth. Neal grunted seeing red, charging at Killian who in turn grabbed his elbow, pushing him down and giving him a swift knee to the gut. Neal went down hard, having the wind knocked out of him. Killian never once gloated. That would be _bad form_.

“This isn’t over!” Neal panted clutching his stomach, glaring at Killian who towered above him victorious.

“Stay away from _me_. Stay away from _Emma_ ,” he cautioned before picking up his bag off the floor and leaving Neal on the ground to suffer in silence.

The bell rang just as he made it to the door. He had missed class. All thanks to that jerk Neal. Killian leaned against the empty space between the open door way and a set of lockers, his hand playing with the strap of his bag waiting for Emma to exit.

“Emma!” Killian called out as soon as he saw the blonde curls of her head exiting the classroom. Emma turned around at the sound of his voice, her eyes going wide when she saw his disheveled appearance.

“My God! Killian what happened?!” Emma asked reaching out to touch the swelling of his eye causing Killian to grunt in pain.

“Decided to try something new today… I heard chicks dig scars,” he replied to get a reaction from her. It had worked. Emma was less than pleased. Emma roughly grabbed him by the hand, pulling him along with her, diving in and out of hoards of students trying to make it to their next class until they reached the nurses station.

“Sit!” she instructed shoving him down on the bench outside the room before entering. A minute or two ticked by and the bell rang, the once crowded hallways empty for the time being. Emma returned to him with a first aid kit and sat down beside him.

“What’s all this for?” Killian asked gesturing to the open first aid container on the bench between them.

“I’m going to clean you up,” she insisted, pulling a bottle of peroxide and a clean cotton ball from within the kit and set it down beside her.

“Lass, honestly, I’m fine,” he tried to tell her.

“No _you’re_ not,” she brought his head closer to her, tilting it to the side to get a better look at his black eye and the even nastier cut on his brow. Emma unscrewed the cap from the bottle and turned it over to soak the cotton ball in the liquid, bringing it to dab at the cut on Killian’s eye.

“Ah! What the hell is that?!” he hissed trying to pull away from the stuff that had burned him.

“Peroxide. You big baby,” she moved back in to finish the job, her other hand holding him down.

“You going to tell me what happened?” she asked twisting her body to rifle through the kit in search for a tube of Neosporin.

“Neal,” Killian said simply.

“Neal? Wait, Neal did this to you?!” Emma propped her head up from the box in front of her, meeting Killian’s gaze.

“This is nothing. You should see him," Killian laughed it off.

“I don’t understand. Why would Neal do this?” Emma tried to contemplate why Neal would do such a thing. Neal was a jack ass but never did she think that he would be capable of such violence.

“My guess is that he’s jealous and threatened by me,” Emma rolled her eyes at his suggestion, “you’re asking me to understand the mind of a bloody psychopath?” Killian muttered, getting himself riled up just thinking about it. Emma considered Killian’s theory; she supposed it did make sense after all.

“He has that pot head strength,” Killian murmured under his breath.

“Yeah, that’s Neal for you,” Emma nodded, twisting the cap off the yellow tube and pouring some onto her index finger.

“Emma, what were you even doing with a guy like Neal anyway? I just… I don’t understand…” Killian shook his head.

“He wasn’t always like this. He used to be quite charming…” Emma explained moving to apply the gel onto his cut so it didn’t scar too badly. Killian winced once more at the feeling.

“This stuff isn’t even supposed to sting!” she jeered.

“No, it’s just _cold,_ ” Killian complained.

“You can take a hit like a man but when I try to doctor you up you whine like a baby?” she mocked. Emma caught a glimpse of a figure from the side of her vision. It was Neal, dried blood on his nose and mouth as he glared at them, walking into the nurse’s office. Emma gaped at his appearance.

“Holy hell Killian! What did you do?” Emma moved to hit him lightly in the shoulder.

“I didn’t start the fight I just finished it…” he admitted. Emma gave him a disapproving, unbelieving look. Emma dug back through the contents of the box and pulled out a small packet containing a band-aid, used specifically for sensitive spots on the body.

“It’s the truth! He came at me first! Did you expect me not to defend myself?” he snapped, angry at her assumption. _What the hell did she want from him?_

“No, I expected you to be the bigger man and just walk away,” she growled tearing open the package and retrieving the band-aid inside.

“I couldn’t do that. I had to prove myself. I had to fight. I had to fight for _you,_ ” he pleaded with her. Emma’s response was to remove the tabs on the sticky part of the adhesive and slap it onto the spot on his brow.

“ _Ow!”_ Killian winced rubbing at the cut on his eyebrow.

“I didn’t ask you to fight for me,” Emma countered.

“Damn it Emma! Your worth fighting for…” he confessed, wanting to grab her by the shoulders and shake her repeatedly to help her realize that she was special. Special to _him. Why did she think so little of herself? What exactly had Neal done to her?_ Emma had a serious lack of self-respect. It would explain why she never stood up for herself when Neal was around which is why he always took to doing it for her. Killian could never just stand around and watch her be emotionally abused by some entitled pompous asshole such as Neal.

“I’m heading back to class. Put this on your eye, it will bring down the swelling,” she got up, dismissing herself after throwing a zip lock bag full of ice wrapped in a brown paper towel into his lap and stomped back to class without another word. Killian looked after her as she walked away, her blonde curls bouncing behind her, the mystery of her and Neal thickening in the air around him. Something happened between them, he just didn’t know what.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian arrived early for a change for his shift at the garage after school.

“Hey Kil-“David began to call out in greeting before catching sight of his black eye.

“Holy shit! What happened to your eye?” David asked, jogging over from the car he was working on to meet Killian and get a closer look at the nasty shiner on his eye that had changed into an angry purple color since earlier that day.

“I had a run in with Emma’s ex this morning,” Killian explained, wincing as David touched the injury.

“What did you do to him?” David asking intently.

“I didn’t do anything… I was minding my own business, he said a few things and just came at me,” Killian tried to recall.

“Tell me you at least got in a couple of good shots or we are no longer friends…” David commanded hopefully.

“He got sent home with a broken nose,” Killian couldn’t help the satisfied smile that adorned his face.  

“That’s my boy!” David stated proudly clapping his friend on the back.

“Killian, great! I need you to close tonight. Roland has a recital at 8,” Robin shuffled into the garage, quickly trying to pull on his jacket. He was clearly running late, “keys, are in the top drawer of my desk, just lock up when your-“

“Killian, what on earth happened to your eye?” he asked after finally getting a good glimpse of him. Robin walked over to Killian, grabbing him by the shoulders to inspect his injury.

“That’s a nasty shiner you got there kid. What the hell happened?” Robin asked, concern in his eyes.

“It’s a long story, I’ll tell you another time,” Killian brushed it off, knowing his boss was running late.

“Alright,” Robin said making his way out of the garage.

“Hey Robin! Tell Roland to break a leg. He’s going to be the best lost boy that this play has ever had,” David yelled to Robin from his spot in the garage.

“Will do. I’m filming it so we can all sit down and watch it later,” Robin told them from the door.

“Sounds good,” David said brightly before Robin turned and walked out of the garage.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Your ass is so sexy,” Emma mentioned briskly making her presence known after watching him from the concealment of the side door entrance for the last seven minutes. She loved watching him work in the dim lighting of the garage, it turned her on to no end. The garage was seemingly empty when she watched him work on the Camaro in front of him, his lips turned down in concentration. Killian turned at the sound of Emma’s voice, a hanger in the strong grasp of her pinky finger. Emma had decided to wear a short velvet burgundy colored skirt paired with black translucent tights peeking out from underneath a pair of knee high brown boots with a thin black turtle-neck sweater tucked into the waistband of her skirt. The wrench in Killian’s hand fell to the floor with a loud clank next to the vintage black Camaro he was working on as Emma placed the clear garment bag containing the leather jacket of his pirate costume on a tool chest that was high off the ground, watching as she strutted into his immediate peripheral vision.

Emma wasted no time in crashing their lips together in a battle for supremacy, her body curving into his like she was made for him. His hand smoothed along her long blonde locks as the war raged on, the kiss deepening eliciting a series of groans, his other hand caressing her side, lifting up her sweater with every arch of his touch. The kiss intensified even further when Killian picked up her leg behind her knee to wrap around his waist, dragging her to the hood of the Camaro and placing her gently on top of it, his body covering hers. Emma’s hands shot up to the collar of his jump suit holding him away from her attempting to catch her breath, his sweaty forehead covered by his backwards cap  glued to hers.

“Are we alone?” she panted.

“Would it matter if we weren’t?” he challenged with the quirk of his dark eyebrow. Emma grinned wickedly, wrapping her other leg around his waist, her lips gyrating against his seeking friction. Killian groaned moving his lips to suck at her neck, her hand repositioning itself to slam on the hood of the car beside her as her brain conjured up his fight with Neal behind her closed eyelids, the thoughts sending her clattering against him, the sign of her growing pleasure running down her backside between her legs.

“God, you are so hot,” she spurred him on, her head thrashing from side to side the pressure in her belly boiling over, a loud throaty moan escaping her lips as her struggling hips stilled against his growing erection trapped in the confines of his pants. Her head tossed back in ecstasy, her body shaking from the force of her orgasm.

“Did you just-?” he smirked triumphantly above her.

“Shut up!” she swatted his shoulder in defiance, Killian’s grip on the small exposed part of her thigh tightened in response, Emma bit back another moan.

“I am far from finished with you Emma,” he announced in a shady grin, his hands moving to unzip his jump suit, his shoulders shrugging out of the fabric to fall at his waist exposing his white V-neck shirt and the beginning of his faded blue jeans. Killian unbuttoned and un-zipped his jeans inside of the navy blue jump suit wiggling the material from his hips and taking out his proud cock, pre-cum glistening from the tip causing Emma’s mouth to water in anticipation. Grabbing her roughly by the back of the head he shoved her on her knees before him, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“Suck,” he commanded brushing his hardened length against her moist lips. Emma licked a long languid stripe on the underside of his cock before shoving the entirety of him in her mouth, sucking back the gathering tears in her eyes under his rough assault. Emma wrapped her mouth tightly around the length of him, sucking, trying to not to choke on his engorged member. The taste of him attacking her senses, she couldn’t get enough.

“God, your mouth feels so good wrapped around me. Gorgeous,” he groaned out, his hands wrapping tighter into her hair pulling her mouth even closer to him. Emma couldn’t help the moans that left her own mouth as she bobbed her mouth up and down over his cock, her fingers clawing at his thighs for purchase adding to the growing moisture once again gathering in her panties. Emma sucked, moving her mouth to the head to give his tip a firm suck before forcing her mouth back down on him again. Emma continued to blow him sensing his release getting closer and closer with each movement of her lips around him, her own body grinding against the floor below her in a desperate attempt to get herself off again.

“Enough,” he said unceremoniously pulling his cock out from the warm inviting cavern of her mouth and pushing her back against the front bumper.

“I want to finish inside you,” he growled picking her back up into his arms and once again placing her back on the hood of the car, Emma’s legs shaking like Jell-O around his waist in a hungry want. She needed him inside her. Killian’s finger nails scraped against the bare skin underneath her skirt, his fingers hooking into her panties and shoving them over her boots, nudging them to the side with his own shoe. His hands snuck underneath the fabric bunched at her back, lifting her body far enough off the car to separate the sweater from the rest of her, exposing the beautiful swell of her breasts displayed seductively in a lacy black brassiere to his hungry gaze.

“God Emma, you are so fucking beautiful,” he complimented mouthing at her nipple over the material of her bra. Emma whimpered and squirmed underneath him, desperate for more attention than what he was already giving. Killian’s lips left a wet trail from her encased breasts down to her stomach before laving her belly button with his tongue, his fingers lifting up the hem of her skirt to bunch around her waist. Emma moaned at the bite of the cold exposed metal of the car against her backside. Killian moved over her lap,  giving his cock a teasing thrust to her soaking wet folds causing Emma to throw her head back in pleasure.

“Killian…” she tensed, her teeth digging into her bottom lip in anticipation. Killian grabbed his straining hardness giving it a few short pumps with his fist before placing himself at her entrance. The waiting was too much for Emma to bear as she grabbed him by the back and thrust Killian inside of herself,  a sob of contentment falling from her puckered lips at the feeling of him finally being inside of her. Killian moaned, his forehead placed against her’s, his body heaving, drowning in the sensation of finally being wrapped in her tight wet heat.

“Move,” Emma whined. Killian did as he was told and began thrusting slowly setting a bruising pace with his hips. Killian moved back up her body and thumbed at the stiff peaks of her nipples before giving up and pulling the garment down as far as it could go and connecting his lips to her aroused areolas, her body keening to meet his hot mouth whilst receiving his thrusts that hit her clit with every stroke. Her body was on fire with his touch, desperate for release.

“Fuck!” Emma shuttered with Killian’s attentions to her clit, his thumb working her over gently, begging for her release.

“Come for me Emma,” Killian encouraged, the massaging of her clit making her scream silently.

“Let me feel you come against me, Emma,” his request was met when his dirty words sent her over the edge making her see stars, the tightening of his cock gripped by her quivering walls milking his own release from him.

Killian buried his head into the valley of her heaving breasts trying to catch his breath, kissing them appreciatively.

“I dropped your coat off,” Emma blurted out, her breathing labored. Killian picked himself off of Emma’s sweaty body, grinning cockily at the sight of her glowing rose tinted cheeks just moments after the orgasm he had given her.

“Thanks,” he winked removing his cap momentarily to wipe the sweat from his brow before replacing it once again. Emma didn’t miss the double meaning behind his words. Emma hopped off the hood of the car, reaching for her sweater to tug it back on. Emma picked up her panties and tucked them into Killian’s back pocket along with his towel as a reminder of their latest dalliance, a playful grin on her lips.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” Emma said taking a seat on the stool next to his tool chest to watch him work. Killian didn’t make a comment. She would come around in her own time, “how’s your eye doing?” Emma asked.

“Better. I had a very pretty girl nurse me back to health,” Killian said, causing Emma to hold back the bashful smile that threatened her lips, she was unsuccessful.

“Should I be jealous?” Emma asked patting down her skirt.

“Absolutely,” he grinned at her, looking up at her from underneath the hood of the car.


	12. Twelve

It was early Friday morning and the private school had given their students the day off for a teacher workshop. Not wanting to throw off his routine, Killian woke up at his usual hour for his morning run. Killian found himself trudging up the stairs, taking one step at a time in an attempt to catch his breath, his hand gliding upon the railing for support. His morning run had kicked his ass. It seemed like lately he was always out of breath: overworked, over exhausted. If it wasn’t his workouts with David or getting a thorough workout with Emma between the sheets or lack thereof, it was something else entirely. Killian’s hand jutted out to touch his forehead to wipe the sweat from his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. It had been a couple days since his fist fight with Neal and he still had the light scar on his brow and a yellowing bruise on his eye to remind him. As Killian suspected, Emma found his battle scars very sexy. She had been playing doctor with him all week. Killian flashed a toothy grin at the memory. She was insatiable, one of the best qualities he had recently discovered about her on top of all the other things that made her special _._ Killian took the last few steps to reach the door to his apartment, his hand digging under the opening of his hoodie to retrieve the house key he kept around his neck when he ran. Taking it off his neck, he put the key in the door, twisted the lock, and opened the door, turning the lights on as he went. As usual the apartment was emp-

“Dad?” Killian called out, squinting his eyes in the darkened area to get a better look. Killian reached up to turn on the overhead light in the middle of the kitchen space and illuminated the area. Sure enough there was his dad, faced down at the table. Cheap empty beer cans littered the area surrounding the table. Killian kicked one, the can hitting one of the bottom kitchen cabinets, jarring his father awake at the sound.

“How you can even manage to drink this much in the hour I was gone is beyond me. Honestly, you probably set a world record while I was away…” Killian jabbed sarcastically, rounding the table to face his father, who was covering his ears from the noise.

“What made you finally decide to come home this week, huh?” Killian braced himself over the table, a hand gripping the edges on either side of him.

“Your one to talk kid, I haven’t seen you in weeks,” Flynn groaned, his hands rubbing at his temples to ease the throbbing in his head.

“And whose fault is that Dad? When I finally see you, I come home to _this,”_ Killian snarled, gesturing to the apartment with his hands.

“I’ve come home _twice_ this week and both times you weren’t here,” Flynn mentioned, grabbing the half empty bottle of Jack sitting next to him and unscrewing the lid before putting it to his lips and taking a long sip.

“What would you have done had I been here? Would anything have changed?” Killian screamed, his voice heavy with inflection, his eyes red with unshed tears.

“I miss you kid…” his father hiccupped, the bottle dropping onto the table and spilling the remainder of its contents into his lap. Flynn raised from his chair, the chair falling backwards, clashing to the ground as he began shaking out the moisture on his clothing, tripping over himself in the process but never falling down completely. 

“You’re bloody pathetic! You come home, _drunk_ , and _now_ you want to be a father? ~~!~~ ” Killian gave a tight lipped smile, his shoulders shaking with unbelievable laughter. Killian walked around the table, his eyes level with his father’s.

“You haven’t been anyone’s dad for a _very_ long time…” Killian shook his head, glaring down at his father. Flynn scowled and before he could even think his cold, uncaring hand connected with Killian’s cheek. Killian’s head snapped to the side upon impact, his hand reaching to touch the stinging, angry red handprint on his face.

“Oh god, Killian, son, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-” Flynn began shuffling towards his son, reaching to touch him. Killian stumbled backwards as if he had been burned by his touch.

“No!” Killian shouted boisterously, red in the face.

“You don’t get to touch me! You don’t touch me _ever_!” Killian vowed, his posture taking on a protective sort of stance to distance himself further from his father, angry tears brimming in his eyes. Killian stomped past the man he once referred to as Dad and hurriedly began to pick up a few items of clothing and slipped them into his messenger bag.

“Son, _please-”_ his father begged, ashamed at what his actions had driven him to.

“No, we are through talking,” Killian denounced him, moving to close his bag and shift it upon his shoulder.

“Wait- where are you going?” his dad asked in desperation, coming closer to his son.

“To my girlfriend’s,” Killian announced, referring to Emma by the wrong title but too stubborn to correct his terminology. Killian moved to the door, his hand on the door knob before he was stopped by the sound of his father’s drunkenly pained voice.

“You have a girlfriend?” his dad smiled sadly because he never knew. He hadn’t even bothered asking him. Once again Killian didn’t bother to correct him. _Let him believe what he wants to._ In Killian’s mind it was a lot easier to just say Emma was his girlfriend than finding a term to describe whatever it was that they had together. There wasn’t one.

“Yeah. I do,” Killian drew to face him, a sad look in his eyes as he told him.

“And I hope to God that someday she won’t have to meet you,” Killian spat bitterly, opening the door and slamming it behind him, leaving Flynn gapping at the closed door.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian took a long lonely bus ride into the city, watching the sun steadily begin to rise over the skyline. He had been alone in his own thoughts for far too long this morning after the fight with his father. Flynn had never raised a hand to him, not once. It was defiantly new behavior for him, but that was no excuse. It was seven o’clock when the bus rounded his stop near Emma’s building. Getting off a block from her street, he walked for five minutes and stopped in front of her building, hoping she was awake at this hour. The doorman greeted him with a tip of his hat and opened the door that led to the lobby. Killian eyed the elevator doors before turning back to the desk and giving it a lingering glance wondering if he should give Emma a quick ring before just popping up out of nowhere with no warning. Killian shook his head, deciding against it and walked the remaining distance between him and the elevator. Killian would never get used to the elevator ride up to the penthouse floor, the silence ringing in his ears making him think too much, which was dangerous. Killian got off as soon as the elevator doors opened, not wanting to waste a moment longer away from Emma.

Killian ran as fast as he could up the steps leading to the second floor landing and immediately going to Emma’s closed bedroom door. Killian quietly opened the door and took a quick peek inside. Sure enough, Emma was still soundlessly asleep. Killian entered noiselessly and crept to the footstool placed at the start of the bed and set his bag down before making his way to Emma’s sleeping form. She looked ethereal bathed in the morning sunrise seeping through the curtains of her room. Killian crouched down on the floor beside her, gazing at her in silent adoration for how peaceful she looked in the throes of sleep. Killian’s hand reached to touch the creamy skin of her face, brushing a few lingering locks of hair as he did. Emma continued to sleep soundly, her chest rising and falling slowly as Killian traced his fingers through her hair soothingly. Emma’s breath hitched as she slowly stirred awake at his soft touch, her eyes flickered open, immediately finding his.

“Hey beautiful,” he smiled, greeting her. Emma smiled shyly, her arms shifting above her head to stretch her muscles from sleep.

“Hey yourself. What are you doing here?” she asked moving to sit up to face him more clearly. Killian shot his arm out, gently coaxing her back down onto the bed before moving her satin comforter to join her, his body lying on top of hers.

“It doesn’t matter… All that matters is that I’m here… _with you_ ,” he positioned his arms over hers to interlace their fingers next to her head against the pillow, his lips sinking into her neck to wake her more fully from her slumber. Emma moaned as Killian began to nibble at her sensitive neck, the sensation was delicious. Killian released the strong grip he had on her hands and slithered down her body, his lips kissing down the length of her pink satin night gown. Emma smirked as his head disappeared underneath the sheets, his soft fingers traveling up her leg to hook into her panties and pull them down. Emma’s hands reached to curl around the openings in her headboard as his nose nuzzled at her clit, causing the dampness to pool in between her legs. Her breath hitched, her lower lip caught between her teeth as his tongue dived into her scorching heat, lapping up the proof of her arousal. Emma’s legs found themselves propped up on his person, a leg on either shoulder, clinging to the source of her pleasure, rocking her aching center against his mouth.

“ _Killian…”_ she whimpered when his thumb began rubbing furiously at her clit as his mouth continued to fuck her. Killian didn’t once come up for air, instead he worked diligently to wake her up with an orgasm. Emma’s hand went to her breast, kneading it gently in time with the thrusts of his tongue inside her.

“ _God, Killian, I need you… fuck me please!”_ Emma cried, her head thrashing against the pillows as he relentlessly ate her out, giving no mercy to her plea. Emma had to blindly search for him under the sheets, digging her fingers into the hair of his scalp roughly and bringing him out from under the covers. His eyes were dark and wild as she looked at him. Emma licked her lips at the sight of his wet mouth. Crashing her mouth against his, she sucked his tongue into her mouth, tasting herself on him. Bracing herself against him, she rolled them over so she was on top, her fingers furiously tearing through his clothing to get to the body that hid underneath it. Ridding him of his hoodie and shirt, she diligently worked to remove his track pants that left little to the imagination when it came to his crotch. Emma kissed a wet trail against his chest with her mouth before dipping her hand into his pants and giving him a firm teasing tug before shedding the track pants along with his briefs and tossing them onto the floor leaving him bare before her. Emma smiled wickedly, her body moving over his, rubbing her dripping wet cunt against his aching length, her nails raking down the muscles of his chest. Emma leaned down to suck on his neck, the hand closest to the bed reaching blindly on her end table searching for something. When her hands met metal, she grinned against his skin. Emma roughly pulled his hands into hers, coaxing him to grasp onto the metal headboard. His eyes closed with please as she closed the metal handcuffs against his wrists, threading the links around an opening of the headboard. Killian’s eyes shot open in panic at the clink the metal made against the brass of the headboard, the feeling of it caressing his skin. His eyes shot up, leaning backwards to get a better look, there was no doubt, she had handcuffed him to the bed. _Bloody minx._

“Emma?” Killian questioned with the tip of his head, testing out the strength of his restraints. He had a very limited range of motion like this. Killian growled at the woman gyrating her hips against him, her wet pussy grinding against his hardened cock. Emma laughed playfully, her blondes curls bounced as her head shook from side to side. Emma reached for the hem of her satin night gown pulling it over her head so she was bare before him. Killian inwardly groaned at the sight of her nudity, his hands struggling against the metal of the cuffs as he ached to touch her to bring her pleasure in a way that he knew only he could. Emma sat proudly on top of his cock, her fingers reaching close to where she needed them. Emma sighed as she lifted herself slightly so she could touch her clit, her eyes rolling back as she did it. Killian’s eyes went wide as she rocked her hips against his, her hand rubbing furiously at her clit, several “oh’s” and “ah’s” leaving her lips as she did so.

“ _Emma… please…_ ” he begged, his wrists snagging at his confines, a desperate expression colored his face.

“I’m almost there!” she moaned, biting into her lower lip, her other hand moving to her breast to pinch an already hard nipple, the feeling sent another wave of wetness straight to her core. Sensing her impending release she braced her hands flat on his chest, lifting herself up over and onto his penis, taking him inside of her in one easy thrust as her orgasm crashed around her. Killian groaned, throwing his head back at the feel of the walls of her pussy gripping his cock tightly. Emma recovered quickly from her orgasm, and began to work on Killian’s. Emma bounced eagerly on top of him, hitting the same spot inside her on every downward thrust of her hips against his, quickly working herself up once again. Emma loved being on top; it gave her power and control. The power was a turn on, whereas the control part allowed her to have him exactly where she needed him inside her to bring her to orgasm every time. Killian met her thrust for thrust, her breasts bouncing with her as she rode him, chasing her release. Killian could feel her walls quivering around him, gripping him tightly, she was close. A force of habit to reach his hand to her clit to push her over the edge, the need still there as his wrists yanked against the cuffs.

“Fuck!” she screamed her release as she fell apart around his cock. Bringing her movements against him to an abrupt halt as she clattered on top of him, visibly sated, her body heaving upon his chest.

“Emma, love?” he asked with the quirk of an eyebrow, interrupting her, the metal clanking against the headboard trying to get her attention.

“Oh Killian, I’m so sorry,” she smiled, burying her face further into the rough muscles of his abdomen. Emma braced her hands across his chest once more, hauling herself off of him, Killian wincing at the loss of her. Emma pushed herself against him, moving up to kiss his neck.

“I want to finish you off inside my mouth,” she whispered teasingly against his ear.

“ _Emma_!” he growled in warning. Emma placed a finger at his mouth to silence him, her center sliding against his still hard member. Killian snapped his mouth around her finger, playfully nipping at the digit. Emma snapped her finger back from his mouth, looking him straight in the eye as she maneuvered her body down his, her face level with his achingly hard cock. Emma grasped him in her hand, giving him a few teasing strokes to get him ready for her mouth, the sensation of being in her warm hand doing little to sate his sexual need.

“Emma… _please,”_ he whined as he watched her lips ghost over the head of him, blowing hot air over the tip. Emma leaned down, engulfing her mouth around his cock, _finally_ , the brutal pace she set making his hands clench into fists around the cuffs that held him to the bed. The sight of Emma’s mouth disappearing around his cock was erotic as was the feeling she was creating around him. Emma gave him no quarter as her head bobbed up and down in his lap, his eyes rolling back in his head when she began sucking at the sensitive tip of him before diving back down to continue blowing him to completion. Killian could feel his orgasm building, it was coming fast and it was coming hard. Killian gave her no warning before he shot his release, hot and heavy down her throat. Emma savored the heavenly taste of him on her tongue, her lips squeezing at the tip to make sure she got every last drop as he began to soften in her mouth. Killian watched as Emma licked her lips, humming in pleasure. Killian jiggled his wrists against the cuffs, reminding Emma just where they were and more importantly what she had done to him. Emma tossed her head back as she giggled, a few layers of sweaty hair clinging to her forehead as she snapped her head back up to his. Killian was unamused and rightfully so. She would pay dearly for cuffing him to her bed, turnabout was fair play after all. Emma reached up to him from her spot in between his legs as her hands worked diligently to free him from his restraints. Finally released, the blood began to flow back into his wrists and hands, angry red lines appeared on his wrists as he rubbed at them to revive his circulation. Killian growled at her, his hands closed around her wrists, pulling her underneath him roughly.

“You are going to pay for that dearly,” he snarled huskily into her ear, his voice full of dark promises.

“Is that so?” she jeered, the corners of her mouth tugging into a sinfully carnal smile.

“How long do I have you for?” she purred, her wrists fighting in his grasp.

“For as long as you want me,” he replied, his body shuffling over hers to once more dip between her legs, his hands holding her still. He smiled wickedly at his plan to spend the next few hours worshipping her body, cruelly bringing her to the brink of orgasm and keeping her there with no chance of release. She had no idea what she was in for.


	13. Thirteen

Another project was assigned in Geography class, and Emma and Killian found themselves in the school library researching and studying. They selected a table in the farthest part of the library where they wouldn’t be interrupted. Emma took the seat across from Killian her back facing the rest of the library and got right to studying.

“Stop fidgeting,” Killian requested looking up from his research, his head resting on his elbow.

“Sorry,” she muttered breathlessly and attempted to return to her own reading with little success.

Not even two seconds later Emma’s bare foot had found its way to his ankle beneath the table. Killian lifted his head in her direction to find Emma looking at him with dark hooded eyes, a coy smile on her lips. _What was he going to do with her? She was insatiable._

“Emma…” he warned. Emma ceased her actions immediately slipping her heels back on over her feet. Both admittedly tried to slip back into their casual silence while concentrating on research. Emma couldn’t sit still if her life depended on it. Her thoughts were on nothing but instant sexual gratification. _Why did he have to be so sexy? Did he even know the effect he had on her? His concentrated dark features the source of all her frustration._ Emma felt a huge gush of heat rush from in-between her legs. Emma teased the edge of her skirt for a second or two before finally deeming it best to just hike it up to just above her waist for easy access, her fingers finding their way to her entrance, a contented whine left her lips as she stroked herself. Killian’s curiosity had peaked. Pushing away the textbook, Killian scooted his chair backwards against the carpet and ducked underneath the table only to find the most deliciously unexpected sight he’d ever encountered. Emma, sans panties, her delicate fingers working diligently in and out of her dripping wet core. Killian bit back a moan at the sight. Killian shot up in his seat, the sight above the table as equally enticing as what was going on underneath it. Emma had her head thrown back in pleasure, her own body rocking itself against her fingers. Killian licked his lips; his own erection felt like it was going to burst through the confines of his pants. Her display drove him mad with lust.

“Holy hell, Emma! Are you not wearing underwear?” he whispered darkly, trying to not draw any wandering eyes to the X-rated afterschool special going on across from him. Emma chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes focusing in on his and shook her head vigorously. Her eyes were wild, unforgivably so. Killian wasted no time in practically jumping across the table between them and grabbing her arm out from underneath her skirt, ceasing her movements. Dark lust filled eyes meeting each other in an intense gaze. Emma pushed her lips out in a dramatic pout at his actions. His hand fished hers out from underneath the table, his eyes nearly crossed at the sight of her soaked pointer and middle fingers. She was so tempting he just had to have a taste. Killian dragged her by the wrist her fingers entering his mouth, and he began greedily sucking at the wetness that coated them. Killian watched as Emma’s eyes widened in response to his selfish act, the view was pornographic. Killian lapped up all the remaining juices on her fingers before releasing them with a wet pop.

“You are a _very_ naughty girl,” he chastised nearly drunk on her, his forehead connected to hers, half of his body still firmly planted on the table. Killian pushed her sweaty hair from her shoulder and snaked his mouth against her ear.

“I need to have you, Emma,” Killian pleaded in her ear, her name leaving his mouth in silent worship. Emma could hear the desperation in his voice. He was a man starving for her. A feeling that made Emma feel incredibly sexy.

“Please,” she whimpered jutting out her lip in distress. Killian slid back against the table, landing on his feet before walking around the table and taking Emma by the hand.

“Follow me love,” he smirked wickedly. He dragged her through the stacks by the hand much like she had him on their first day of school until they found a secluded spot in the hardly ever used sci-fi/fantasy section of the library. Killian grabbed Emma by the hips, twisting them around, lightly pushing her against the bookshelf behind her. Killian didn’t waste any time connecting their lips, both fighting for dominance.

They detached their lips, panting for breath, giving Emma enough time to loosen his necktie and shoving it around his neck to lie at his back. Emma then fingered the buttons of his shirt before tearing at the buttons half way down his chest just to leave enough room for her hands to slide inside to paw at his dark, silky chest hair. All the while Killian was doing sinful things with his mouth against her neck that had Emma in a perpetual state of bliss.

“ _Fuck,_ Emma,” he panted against her neck, his hips rutting against hers in a sensual dance. Emma moaned in response her hands moving around his neck to pull him against her lips for another searing kiss, his hand falling to her breast to palm it outside of her clothing.

“How wet are you for me, Emma?” Killian asked against her lips his hands trailing down her body to dip underneath her skirt. Emma’s breath hitched in her throat as Killian’s fingers made contact with the burning flesh between her thighs.

“Oh darling… so wet for me,” Killian purred, the lilt of his voice positively dripping with sensuality. Emma keened softly, moving to try and press him tighter against her.

“So impatient,” his voice slithered, drenched with amusement by her actions. Killian slowly worked his fingers into her, his thumb moving against her sensitive clit to build the pressure in her aching body. Emma began bouncing against his fingers searching for release, strangled moans and curses gracing her gorgeous lips.

“What do you want, Emma?” he searched her eyes while his fingers continued their assault.

“ _Please_ ,” she begged.

“Let me come,” she added finally, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Not yet darling…” he shook his head smugly and removed his fingers from Emma’s aching center. Emma pouted in protest as his fingers left her, her own trying to move where the previous occupants had left her wanting with absolutely no relief.

“Don’t you dare.” He snapped playfully, catching her wrist and pinning it to the shelf behind her, his eyes glaring over her like a hungry predator causing Emma’s thighs to clench.

“Listen carefully darling. I’m only going to say this once,” he warned, an arm leaning against the bookshelf on either side of her head.

“I’m going to take you hard and fast. With every thrust of my body inside yours I want you to think about what I do to you,” he explained, his filthy words making the hairs on her neck stand up on end. Emma stood still against the dark wood of the bookcase and watched as Killian slid his pants and boxer briefs down to his ankles. Killian’s hand glided up underneath her knee and pulled her leg around his waist for better stability.

Without any further warning Killian rocked his hips into hers, sinking himself inside her all the way to the hilt.

“So _tight_ ,” Killian grunted moving back a little before thrusting back in and making Emma cry out. Killian set a maddening pace, one to give them both the most pleasure the quickest.

“ _Killian,_ ” Emma moaned, her neck and shoulders sore from the impact of her back hitting the bookcase repeatedly. Killian’s lips moved back to her neck: licking, sucking, biting, and stimulating her further. He couldn’t get enough of her. Emma released a sharp gasp and clawed at his sweat soaked hair as she felt him hit _that_ spot deep inside her.

“ _Right. There,”_ she inhaled, her moaning coming out in short pants. Killian began pistoning his hips inside her trying to bring her to completion and searching for his own in the process. Killian could feel her walls clench around him the sensation driving him mad, she was _so_ close.

“Come for me, Emma. Let go,” he encouraged her. Emma’s eyes snapped shut, her head thrown back in pleasure as her orgasm flooded her. Emma gripped the lapels of his blazer tightly as her back arched, her hips riding out the force of her orgasm sending Killian into his. Killian stilled inside her, his forehead resting on hers trying to control his breathing. Emma looked thoroughly debauched, just the way Killian liked her. Emma pulled the back of his neck down to the crook of her shoulder for him to rest, his member going soft inside her. After Killian had caught his breath, he bunched up her skirt to her waist once more and pulled out, his release running down her legs. Killian took only a moment to pull his clothes back on and righting himself before…

“Stay still,” he commanded before pulling his loosened neck tie off and crouching down beside her to wipe at her sticky legs with it. It was the most he could do in such short notice. It’s not as if he planned to take her in the back of the library. It was a sweet gesture, Emma thought. Killian stashed the tie away in his jacket pocket before meeting her eyes, leaning against her but keeping the majority of his weight off of her.

“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” he asked, concern in his voice.

“I’m a bit bruised,” she said her eyes panning to the bookshelf as far as she could. Killian’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned.

“But nothing a little Tylenol can’t fix later,” she smiled to ease his worrying.

“Serves _you_ right,” he muttered under his breath.

“ _Me_?” she stated gesturing to herself.

“Yes. _You_ ,” he confirmed with a lite laugh.

“What did _I_ do?” she questioned innocently, batting her eyelashes at him.

“ _Never_. _Ever. Go. Without. Panties. Again,”_ he smiled punctuating each word with a soothing kiss to her neck causing her to giggle in his grasp.

“We should move before anyone realizes we are back here,” Emma suggested. Killian nodded and stepped back to straighten himself out and Emma did the same. Study breaks were never the same with them.


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: A bit of underage alcohol consumption here.

Killian took a few calculated steps backward, admiring his handy work. After all this time, his hard work had finally paid off. His motorcycle was finished. He had just gotten the last part delivered to the shop and had just installed it. There would be no more taking Emma’s driver with him back and forth between her place and his place. No more taking trains into the city followed by endless bus rides to get to school every morning. He would still have to leave at an obscenely early hour to arrive on time but at least he would have some semblance of freedom. Killian opened the back door of the garage, pushing the motorcycle out onto the floor with a little help from David. David went around to the garage door, using the pulley system to open it up and quickly returning to help move it out of the garage and onto the busy streets. At last, it was time to test it. David went back into the garage, grabbing Killian’s helmet and handing it to him as Killian straddled the seat of his bike. Killian took it graciously, taking off his ball cap and tossing it to David before righting the helmet on his head, and adjusting the chin strap.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I can go get Robin to ride it to make sure it’s running properly…” David chided, unsure of his friend.

“Do you honestly doubt me that much?” Killian asked, an amused smile on his lips.

“It’s not that. I just think he may be more equipped to test it for you,” David insisted, shoving his hands in the thick pockets of his coveralls, rocking back and forth on his feet nervously.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Killian grinned, his foot adjusting the kick stand up and using his weight to keep the bike propped in an upright position.

“Okay. Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” Killian laughed, shaking his head, pushing the visor down on his helmet and turning the key, the bike roaring to life beneath him. David took a few steps back giving his friend a wide berth and sending him off with a hopeful salute as Killian placed his feet securely on the bike and kicked off from the curb, gliding down the street.

KEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian had gone around the block several times to get a feel for it. She rode like a dream and nothing seemed to be off about it. Killian hopped off the bike after parking it alongside the curb in front of the garage, helmet in hand as he walked to the phone next to Robin’s office. He couldn’t wait to tell Emma the good news!

“Killian!” Robin called out to him from inside the office before he even had a chance to pick up the phone. Killian walked into the office, leaning against the doorway to address Robin more properly, his face flushed with adrenaline, tuffs of black hair sticking to his sweaty head.

“How did she run?” Robin asked, swiveling in his chair to face him.

“Smooth. Very smooth,” Killian regaled, speaking animatedly with his boss, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

“Good,” Robin smiled and pushed the frames on his face to get back to the paperwork sitting on the desk in front of him.  Killian shook his head, pushing off from the doorway and making his way back to the phone sitting in its cradle on the wall. Picking up the phone, he dialed Emma’s number from memory, propping his weight against the wall beside him, leaning on his forearm patiently waiting to hear her voice on the other end of the phone.

“Hey stranger,” Emma’s perky voice sounded over the phone causing him to smile on the other end.

“I want to take you out tonight,” Killian laughed excitedly, he could barely contain himself.

“Okay? Where are we going?” she asked, her interest thoroughly peaked.

“Doesn’t matter. Dinner? Just be ready at 7. I’m picking you up,” Killian said licking his dry lips before moving to hang up the phone.

“Wait! Killian!” her voice broke over the phone, stilling him from hanging up.

“What should I wear?” she asked, the inflection in her voice making him smile.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKE

Killian arrived early to Emma’s place, parking along the curb of the building; he set his helmet down on top of the seat and glanced down at his reflection in the mirror to check his appearance. Killian had decided to wear his nicest black pants, his nicer black boots, a white button up shirt similar to that he wore during school hours and he had thrown on his black leather jacket on top of it to complete the look. Killian smiled into the mirror excitedly and ruffled his helmet hair to make himself look presentable. Killian was a little nervous, which he had no reason to be. He had to keep reminding himself that this wasn’t a date because technically they weren’t dating. The thought still baffled him.

Killian strutted into the building with a friendly wave to the doorman and took his usual route up to the penthouse, no longer thinking about the steps it took to get there, it had become second nature to him, normal even. Killian walked off the elevator to an empty penthouse with Emma nowhere to be found.

“Emma?” he called out.

“Sorry Killian. I’m running a bit behind. I’ll be right down!” she yelled down to him as Killian could hear her shuffling about upstairs. Killian began to pace the floor as he waited for Emma to make her appearance. _Why was he so nervous?_ Killian struggled on where to take Emma to celebrate the completion of his bike. Something many a man had to deal with on low funds. It couldn’t be too nice; he couldn’t afford it. It couldn’t be someplace too casual. He was screwing her, sure, but at least it needed to show he cared. It also couldn’t be someplace too romantic in fear of having her think he was trying to be more than what they were. He wanted nothing more than to take her out on a proper date like a normal person but one: Emma Swan is not a normal person. Two: What they have, is far from normal. After a long debate and some talk with Robin, his boss suggested something as casual as pizza but in a nice setting that wasn’t too romantic. It was a chain, a nice chain, but a chain none the less. They had locations in Brooklyn, Queens, and to his surprise Manhattan. It was a perfect choice. It would just be two people who like to fuck each other going out for pizza. _No big deal._ Killian was pulled out of his thoughts with the distinct sound of Emma’s heels clanking against the floor. Walking over to the bottom of the stairs, a hand placed casually on the metal railing, his eyes panning upwards to see Emma standing at the top of the stairs. The sight of her caused Killian’s breath to catch in his throat. He was incapable of a coherent thought as she smiled down at him. She was most defiantly worth the wait. Emma had chosen to wear a sleek body hugging, above knee length red dress topped with a casual denim jacket to dress it down a bit, she finished her ensemble with a pair of expensive-looking black pumps, her blonde curls bouncing against her shoulders as she moved towards him. Killian couldn’t wipe the stupid grin he had on his face when she had finally made it to the floor, eyeing him intently.

“How do I look?” she asked, spinning gracefully so he could get a better look at her outfit. Killian couldn’t help the red color in his cheeks as she spun, the dress highlighted the shape and curve of her ass perfectly causing a stirring below in the crotch of his pants.

“Am I too overdressed?” she pondered, slightly worried when he said nothing about her appearance.

“I’m sorry. You look incredible lass.” Killian offered in place of the words he really wanted to use to describe her. Emma nodded her head in approval before moving around him to grab her bag she had placed on the table by the elevator doors earlier that evening.

“Are we ready to go?” she asked adjusting her bag to sling across her chest and adjusting her hair out from underneath the strap. Killian bit down on his lower lip and nodded in response, walking over to her and offering her his arm to escort her. Emma graciously accepted his arm, tangling her arm with his as they made their way through the elevator doors and pressed the ground level button. An awkward silence fell over them during the smooth two minute elevator ride as Killian leaned back against the railing with his hands drumming lightly on top of it. Emma stood dead center in the elevator with a popped hip, her posture making her look like a mid-century Vargas girl with her deep red tinted lips. When the elevator dinged at their destination Killian gestured to the open elevator doors.

“After you,” he said with the tip of his head allowing Emma to walk right past him into the lobby with a swing of her hips as she walked. Killian inwardly groaned at the sight assuming she was doing it purposefully to tease him into submission. He refused to be baited that easily. Killian placed his hand on the small of her back to lead her out the entrance of the building and to his waiting motorcycle. Emma stopped dead in her tracks, the heels of her stilettos digging into the pavement below her.

“Is this why you wanted to go out tonight?” Emma peeped, her eyes wide with panic.

“Yeah. I just finished her. I thought we could take her out tonight to celebrate. It was quite a few years in the making…” he babbled on excitedly, unseeing of the panic in her eyes.

“Something wrong?” he questioned with the tilt of his head.

“The motorcycle is great!” she replied enthusiastically, assuring him that he hadn’t made a mistake with the bike. It was far from a mistake.

“But?” he interjected.

“I just wish I had known. I would have worn something ah… _different,_ ” she continued, her smile turning down.

 “My apologies. I just wanted it to be a surprise,” he frowned at her reaction.

“Do you want to change?” he offered.

“No. I will make do,” she smiled genuinely. The closest she had come to an encounter with a motorcycle was the summer she spent in Italy where the majority of her time was spent on the back of a Vespa going 30 miles an hour, touring various iconic landmarks. That wasn’t nearly the same as a motorcycle. The thrill of a new experience sent shivers down her spine, her mind conjuring up images of Killian riding the classic black motorcycle made her panties grow damp. Killian offered her his hand escorting her the remaining distance and helping her over the gap between the curb and the motorcycle. Emma hiked up the skirt of her dress slightly allowing her more mobility and took a careful step to place herself on the hind side of the bike, her heels straddling either side of the motorcycle, it was quite the sight to behold.

“Here,” Killian offered his helmet for her to wear.

“I only have one for the time being,” he added, turning the helmet in his hand as if to entice her decision to take it. Emma accepted it graciously, pulling her hair back to fit it over her head as Killian went to adjust the chin strap safely.

“You all set?” he asked tapping the top of the helmet. Emma gave him a cool thumbs up in response before Killian moved to sweep his leg, positioning himself in the front seat. Killian placed the key in the ignition, turning it and the bike roared to life underneath them making Emma jump slightly, her hands firmly pressing down on the seat gap in between them. Killian laughed slightly, putting his hands behind him to reach out for her wrists and pulling them to where she was grasping onto him from behind, scooting forward slightly to get her body to be tightly pressed against his.

“Hold on tight. Okay?” he instructed, patting her hand before leaving it to place on the clutch in front of him, pumping it to rev the engine. Emma swiped the visor down over her eyes and tightened her hold around Killian and before she knew it they were taking off down the street to their destination.

Killian couldn’t hear her laughing with joy behind him over the sound of the wind, her arms going slightly slack around him the more comfortable she got, her breasts digging into his leather clad back as they rolled furiously down the busy New York City streets. Emma felt so free on the bike behind him. She also had never felt safer than in that moment with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

The bike ride was considerably short considering the amount of traffic. They arrived at their destination ten to fifteen minutes later. Killian parked the bike on the curb by a meter, cutting the engine and hopping off to help Emma. Emma tugged the semi-heavy helmet off from her head, her face flushed with excitement as she shook out her hair, laughing musically as she did so.

“What did you think?!” he grinned down at her from the sidewalk holding out his hands to take the helmet from her possession and placing it on top of his empty seat.

“It felt like flying,” she stated simply, her hands braced on the seat next to his helmet.

“Let me help you,” he said, adjusting himself closer to her. Killian put one hand to her inner thigh, the other moving to grasp her back firmly, her hands wrapped gently around his neck as he hauled her off of the bike and into his waiting arms, her body sliding against his as he brought her to her feet. There was an intense moment of silence between the two, their eyes connecting heatedly, her hands still wrapped around his neck. You could cut the tension with a knife. Emma seemingly broke eye contact first to gaze up at the restaurant they found themselves standing in front of.

“Gramaldi’s, nice choice,” she complimented while righting her dress to be appropriate in a public setting.

“Thanks. Robin helped,” Killian shrugged. _Should he have admitted that?_

“Well… remind me to thank him,” Emma leaned into him, grabbing the lapels of his black leather jacket.

“Well, should we go in?” Killian croaked, a curious finger moving to scratch behind his ear nervously. Emma nodded. Killian walked over to the parking meter, and fished some change from his pocket to feed into it, setting it for no more than two hour’s time. Emma followed Killian to the entrance and he guided her inside with a carefully placed hand at the small of her back, his helmet firmly grasped in his other hand, only breaking apart to hold the door open for her.

“You’re going to be a gentleman?” she quipped.

“I’m always a gentleman,” Killian gleamed with a playful half bow, gesturing for her to enter. Emma strode in, stopping at the hostess stand, Killian seconds behind her. The smell of brick oven pizza and gooey mozzarella cheese wafted through the kitchen hitting their noses instantly. It smelled heavenly.

“How many?” the hostess asked, juggling four or five menu’s in her arms. Emma opened her mouth to speak but Killian’s voice beat her to the punch.

“Just the two please,” Killian informed the woman, holding up the number two on his hand for good measure.

“Just two? Right this way…” the hostess smiled putting menus back onto the hostess stand and leaving two as she motioned for them to follower her into the crowded dining area. They didn’t have to walk far. Their table ended up being in front of the restaurant fairly close to the door. Killian moved quickly ahead of the waitress to pull out Emma’s chair for her, which she accepted mouthing the word _thanks_ to him as he walked around the table to his own seat.

“Here you are. Your waitress will be right with you to take your order,” the hostess said handing them their menus and taking off back to the hostess stand. The atmosphere was that of a basic Italian pizzeria. Dark lighting, candles flickering in the middle of the table on top of red and white checkered table cloths, the usual Saturday night crowd out for a night on the town. Looking around he found mostly large groups of people with a few couples thrown into the mix. He smiled to himself, thankful for Robin’s help. This place definitely didn’t send the wrong message and best of all it was in his price range.

“What looks good?” he asked politely, breaking the silence, Emma glancing up from her menu to address him.

“I normally get the margherita pizza,” she offered with a sincere smile.

“Sounds good,” Killian agreed, interlacing his fingers and placing them neatly on the table in front of him.

“Hi there my name is Jessica and I will be your waitress tonight. What can I get you two to drink?” the waitress asked, dropping a basket of bread down on the table for them to share. Killian gestured to Emma to give her order first.

“Let me get a white wine and a glass of water,” Emma ordered nonchalantly. Killian blanched at her order. _She was clearly under the drinking age. What was she doing?_

“Of course Miss Swan. And for you sir?” the waitress said formally turning to Killian to take down his drink order. _They knew her by name? Just how often did she come here?_

“Just a glass of water please,” Killian provided

“Alrighty then. Have you decided on what you would like this evening?” she implored, the pen and pad in her hand poised to jot down their response.

“I’m just going to get the usual,” Emma smiled handing the waitress the menu she no longer had use for.

“And you sir?” the waitress turned to Killian.

“I’m just going to share hers. Thank you,” he handed the menu back to the waitress.

“Thanks. I will put that order in now and I will be right back with your drinks,” the waitress said dismissively, making a hasty exit from the table.

“So… do you come here often?” Killian inquired out of extreme curiosity once the waitress was out of ear shot.

“No,” she said simply, Killian’s eyebrows knitting together in confusion, things not adding up.

“I order from here a lot. I’m always on my own and the poor little rich girl can’t cook,” she supplied bitterly, apparently it was a touchy subject. Killian didn’t press her further. The two found themselves again in another bout of awkward silence until the waitress arrived with their drinks, placing them on the table to their correct recipients. Emma downed her wine in one effortless gulp before flagging down their waitress for another.

“So…” Killian began trying to form words to start a conversation, none of which ever left his mouth.

“How’s your dad?” Emma asked, toying with the edge of the fabric of the table cloth in her hand, avoiding eye contact with him altogether. Sometime during their day together after his fight with his father he had broken down and told Emma what had happened needing to tell someone, anyone. She was surprisingly sympathetic to his plight.

“I haven’t seen him all week. Not since I walked out on him,” Killian answered, his voice taking on a dejected tone as he stirred the icy water in his glass with his straw.

“He’ll turn up eventually. He _always_ does…” he said lowly. Emma attempted to give him an encouraging smile but it did little to brighten his mood.

“Here we are, one margherita pizza, fresh from the oven,” the waitress said over enthusiastically as she set the pizza tray on table between them.

“Enjoy,” her voice trailed as she left.

“This looks really good,” Killian commented, grabbing a plate and dishing out a slice before passing it to Emma and grabbing another for himself.

The two ate while Killian animatedly talked about the re-building of his bike and how it took him nearly two years to finish it leading Emma into a discussion about her trip to Italy a few summers ago, comparing the Italian cuisine from New York to that of its origin. The conversation felt easy as soon as they found something to talk about. All in all, both seemed to be having a good time.

“Do you want to take the last slice?” Killian offered gesturing to the lone slice of pizza sitting on the empty pan.

“Honestly? I couldn’t eat another bite,” Emma groaned dramatically, leaning back in her chair, pleasantly full from the pizza she had ingested. Killian playfully laughed at her expense.

“Em?” a voice sounded from afar, Killian ceased his laughter. Emma propped forward in her chair her eyes going wide at Neal followed by his father approaching the table. _Shit!_

“Crazy running into you two here,” Neal commented exaggeratingly.

“I could say the same,” Killian spoke up bravely, his fingers tracing the outside of his glass.

“Aren’t you going to finish that last slice of pizza. It is _your_ favorite,” Neal’s voice dripped with smugness. Killian’s eyes landed on Emma’s. It was apparent that Neal’s appearance was making her uncomfortable.

“No thank you. I’m full,” Emma said meekly, trying to keep her composure.

“She always used to take the last slice. Isn’t that right, Em?” Neal recalled fondly.

“No?” Neal smiled, picking up the remaining slice, bringing it to his lips and taking a hardy bite.

“You always did have good taste Em,” he taunted, slapping the half eaten pizza back down onto the tray.

“Does she talk about me much? She can be quite chatty when she wants to be,” Neal laughed his hand moving to Emma’s cheek, Emma flinching away from his probing hand.

“Enough!” Killian bellowed, standing up from the table and leaning over it to make eye contact with Neal.

“Next time you lay a hand on me, I’m calling my lawyer,” Neal growled out threateningly.

“You had it coming!” Killian snarled.

“Besides, you hit me first,” Killian tacked on for good measure.

“Luckily that won’t matter in the eyes of the court _especially_ when you can’t _afford_ a good lawyer or one at _all_ …” Neal continued. Low blow. Killian grasped the lapels of his polo shirt and dragged Neal closer to him.

“Leave. Now!” Killian roared in anger before releasing him, Neal stumbling back on his own feet.

“God, you sure know how to pick them Em. This guy is a fucking loser!” Neal bit back a recovery.

“You would know…” Killian stated heroically with a smug smile.

“Son, they are bringing the car around. It’s pouring down rain outside,” his father strolled to the table, hobbling about on his cane.

“Miss Swan,” Mr. Gold offered a tight lipped smile in her direction.

“Come on son,” Mr. Gold gestured to the exit. Neal turned and followed his father turning mid-way to give his parting words.

“Oh and Em, you should probably forego dessert. You’re looking a little… _plump,”_ Neal insulted before turning back around to follow his father out to the car. Killian looked over to Emma to see if she had survived the cruel encounter with her ex. What he found was a disheveled Emma, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Killian suggested, throwing his napkin onto the table and flagging down the waitress for the check.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I will meet you back out here,” Emma told him mindlessly, getting up from her chair like a zombie. She was completely out of it. Killian couldn’t believe that another night out with Emma had been ruined by Neal. _What was that guy’s problem?_ Killian couldn’t contain his anger any longer as his fist slammed against the table in fury. _Who gave him the right?! How dare he!_ Emma was the nicest, most caring, charismatic, beautiful, perfect human being he’d even encountered. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that by him. No one did.

Killian received the check from the waitress and paid the correct amount plus the tip for the pizza and the two glasses of white wine Emma had consumed before Emma came out of the bathroom. When she did, they were able to leave immediately not wanting to stick around any longer.

The pair stopped at the double door entrance to the restaurant watching the rain pelt the windows from the outside. It was coming down hard as the lightening crashed across the sky.

“No way my bike is going to last long in this weather. Do you want to wait it out?” Killian asked Emma, his hands shoved inside his pocket awkwardly.

“No. I know a place we can go not too far from here to wait it out,” Emma suggested hopefully. Killian nodded.

“Where am I going?”

“You’re going to go down the street and take a left. The building is on your right. You can’t miss it,” she instructed, a hand placed against the door as she watched the rain fall, the weather seemingly fit her mood.

“We are going to have to run out and get out of here quickly then. Are you ready?” he asked gauging her reaction, a hand placed at the small of her back. Emma nodded, not wanting to waste another second in this place.

“Here,” Killian said, shrugging out of his jacket and wrapping it around Emma’s shoulders.

“Thanks,” Emma gave a tight lipped smile at the gesture, and fitted her arms through the jacket, giving Emma a sense of comfort when she buried herself in the jacket that surrounded her with his natural scent. Killian looked back out the glass door waiting for an opportune moment to run out into the storm.

“Okay. Let’s go,” Killian said, guiding her out the door and into the rain. Killian jogged to his parked bike, handing Emma the helmet as Emma hopped onto the back of the bike behind him before taking off down the street following Emma’s instructions to the letter as rain hit them from all sides. Emma’s grip on Killian became harder and harder to control as her wet skin glided against his soaked shirt.

“We’re almost there. Hold on tight!” he yelled over the rain feeling her grip slipping. Killian pulled into the basement parking garage and found a small motorcycle space to park in and parked the bike. Killian cut the engine, his foot propping the kick stand and hopped off the bike just as Emma pulled the helmet off of her head to shake out her wet tresses.

“Are you alright?” Killian asked placing both of his hands on her cheeks to inspect her for injury while water droplets dripped from his face and chin.

“Killian, I’m fine. Soaked but fine,” she placed a reassuring hand on top of his, stroking his wet hand with hers. Emma swung her opposite leg over the other side of the back, preparing to get off with Killian’s assistance. Emma’s once bright red dress darkened under damp material; she was soaked to the bone. Emma bent down in the parking structure, working at the fastenings of her heels to remove them so she wouldn’t trip.

“Where are we?” Killian asked looking around.

“We’re at one of the properties my dad owns. It’s currently on the market,” she explained, her hands moving to the other shoe to safely remove it. Killian got a clear view of the swell of her breasts underneath the soggy fabric of her dress as she bent over, the black lace of her strapless bra clearly visible underneath it.

“Hold these for me, would you?” Emma handed him her heels. Killian accepted them tucking them into the lining of his motorcycle helmet and followed Emma as she walked through the garage barefoot to a set of stairs that lead up to the start of the building and walking inside. The building they entered was very different from the one Emma lived in: smaller, cozier, and much more private. Emma led him to a single bank of elevators and pressed the button which summoned the elevator immediately, water dripping to a puddle on the floor as they stepped over the threshold. Looking at the numbers on the buttons inside the elevator Killian found that there were only 10 floors, minus the lower levels of the parking garage. Emma hit the number 10 button and the elevator ascended to the top floor. When the elevator doors opened upon their arrival it revealed a long hallway with a single door at the end. Emma fished out a small card key and fitted it into the card reader, the door unlocking under its touch.

“I’m going to find something to help us dry off. Make yourself comfortable,” Emma said taking off in the dark space, the flashlight on her phone lighting her way, after the door had closed behind them. The only sound that could be heard was the ominous roar of the thunder and the rain rapping heavily against the windows. Emma was only gone a few minutes before she returned to him with a roll of paper towels and handful of candles. She handed him the paper towels to dab at his damp skin in an attempt to dry himself off as Emma busied herself with lighting the candles about the space, saving the lighting of the huge fireplace in the center of the room for last. Once the place was illuminated it gave Killian a chance to get a better look at his surroundings. The space was considerably smaller than Emma’s place but contained similar floor to ceiling windows. The space was open and all the furniture inside was covered by white sheets to keep out dust.

“This place has been on the market for ages. They turn off the electricity when it’s not being shown,” she explained standing by the warm fire in the hearth and shedding her wet clothes starting with his leather jacket. Emma retrieved the roll of paper towels from Killian and began to dry off his leather jacket. Killian walked through the entryway into the abandoned loft, setting his helmet with Emma’s heels tucked inside of it onto the floor.

“There. Good as new,” Emma smiled proudly, holding up the jacket for him to see.

“You really should get out of those wet clothes,” Emma reminded him.

“Right,” Killian nodded, his fingers moving swiftly over the buttons of his shirt and ridding them from bottom to top. Emma tore off her denim jacket and placed it by the fire to dry, tossing her designer bag next to it. Killian was in the middle of unbuckling his pants when Emma sauntered over to him, holding her hair back to show him the zipper that she needed help with.

“Can you?” Emma prompted.

“Of course,” Killian replied, the palm of his hand starting at her lower back and tracing upwards to the start of the top of the zipper before pulling it down.

“Thanks,” she called over her shoulder before stepping away and pulling down the straps to shimmy out of her body hugging dress, leaving her scantily clad in her strapless lacy black bra and black thong. Killian nearly tripped out of his pants when his eyes fell upon the tantalizing globes of her ass peeking out from the scrap of fabric she called underwear, all the blood rushing straight to his now erect penis. Emma shivered when her half naked skin came in contact with the stiff chill in the air, her nipples hardening under her bra.

“Here,” Killian, in just his boxer briefs and white V-neck under shirt, grabbed the now dry leather jacket from off the floor and placed it around her bare shoulders to help warm her up. Emma shoved her arms through the openings of the jacket and pulled her hair out of the back of it.

“Thanks Killian,” Emma padded through the loft, the back of the jacket lifting with every movement she made and headed to the wet bar off to the side, bending down behind it to dig through the stash of alcohol they kept stocked for open houses.

“Jackpot!” Emma sounded, shooting up from behind the bar with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand.

“Best way to get warm,” she grinned, walking away from the bar, grabbing the bottle of Jack by the neck. Emma stopped in front of Killian, screwing the cap off the bottle, dropping the cap and taking a long swig, sloshing the contents in the bottle to offer some to Killian who declined it immediately.

“More for me,” she grinned taking another long sip, swishing the liquid in her mouth and licking the remainder seductively off her lips. Emma stumbled over to a piece of furniture covered by a thick white sheet and removed it carefully revealing a long white setae and taking a seat on it, her legs pulled underneath her showing off her gorgeous half naked body. Emma beckoned for him to join her with a pat of her hand on the seat beside her. Killian smiled, pleasantly amused by her actions and walked the few steps towards her and took the seat beside Emma. The two sat in silence for a few moments the only sounds that could be heard was the storm outside and the swishing of the liquor in the bottle Emma held in her hand.

“How long do you think this storm is going to last? It’s getting pretty nasty out there,” Killian spoke up as the lightening crackled against the window outside, lighting the room further.  

“Why? Anxious to get rid of me already?” she gabbed playfully, drumming her fingers on the glass bottle.

“No,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“You know what we need?” Emma asked, before taking another gulp of the drink in her hand.

“What?” Killian replied with apt interest.

“Music,” she grinned. Emma practically fell out of her seat on the chaise, getting down on her hands and knees and crawling to her bag on the floor by the fire, the alcohol swimming furiously in her head. Emma dug through the contents for her phone and held it up in the air triumphantly when she had finally found it.

“Eighty-five percent battery left, yes!” Emma cheered from her spot on the ground, Killian inwardly groaned at her position on the floor, his jacket raised slightly in the back as she was hunched over giving him a clear display of her pert ass. The fact that she was sitting on her legs did little to help the situation in his pants. Emma searched through her phone, her slippery fingers gliding across the touch screen in pursuit of her music app. Finally finding it, she clicked it and thumbed through the musical  contents before selecting: _The Smiths: Greatest Hits_ and putting the album on shuffle. The sounds of _How Soon is Now?_ blared through the tiny but powerful phone speakers as Emma nodded along to the hypnotic beat. Emma looked over at Killian from over her shoulder to see him  hunched over, his arms decidedly resting on his bare knees. Emma adjusted herself to slide on her legs to face Killian, who was trying very hard not to watch her. Finally, she decided to give him something to watch and with the twist of her lips into a crooked grin she began swinging her damp locks around her face to the beat of the music, her hands resting intentionally at her knees, her hips gyrating against the floor. Killian looked up from his spot on the setae, his eyes dilating with raw lust, his mouth going dry and slack at the sight before him. She was absolutely hypnotizing. Emma threw her head back, her hands going to palm a partially clothed breast before snapping her head back to his hungry gaze, her own eyes wild with dubious intent. Emma picked herself up from off the ground and sashayed her hips, a hand on either side of the opening of his jacket, working it into her routine. Emma stopped in front of Killian, her feet shoulder width apart, an arm snaked around his neck as she dropped down to retrieve her bottle of Jack at his feet. Emma rolled her hips, snapping her head up to take another heavy sip of her drink of choice before setting it back down on the ground and taking a seat in his lap, her legs spread out on either side of him, her aching center pressing against his visible erection in his briefs. Her sultry gaze nearly broke him as her fingers slid into his drying hair, her teeth tugging on her lower lip. Emma’s grip tightened in his hair, pulling his head into her cleavage and then jerking him back roughly by his hair. Emma’s hands moved back down to her spread knees and she tilted her body backwards, the upper half of her body leaning towards the ground before moving slowly back up and grinding her hips against his.

“Emma-“ he managed to choke out, his voice raspy with need, her own finger shot out to silence him and she continued to rub herself against him to the beat of the music. Emma braced her hands on the sofa beside him, turning around in his lap to rub her ass cheeks against his crotch, her back arched against him, her head falling to his shoulder from behind as Killian let out a strangled moan. Emma turned, her head pivoting against his shoulder as she settled herself back into his lap, her hips once again picking back up on the rhythm of the music as she ground herself against him. He could feel the damp patch of her panties against his aching member, his eyes rolling back into his head. She was so wet for him. Killian forced one hand into the space between them, his fingers coming to play at her panty clad clit where all the moisture had collected causing her body to arch into his touch. It was safe to say the lap dance was over, just as the phone switched to another track. Emma was brazen against him, bucking her hips wildly against him in search of relief, the alcohol coursing through her system setting her body aflame.

“ _Killian…”_ she whimpered against his neck, her head lolling against his shoulder as she pressed herself tightly against him as he thumbed at her clit, spreading the moisture in her panties making her even wetter as her own hands buried underneath the opening at the back of his shirt to glide her fingers against his hot flesh. Emma clawed at his back, lifting his shirt up and over his head as his lips found her neck, sucking on the sensitive flesh, his hands working the leather jacket over her arms to pool at their feet. Killian brought his fingers to thread into the hair at the back of her neck, his lips increasing the pressure at the juncture of her neck, her own hand caressing his forearm that held her to him, her eyes closed tightly in pleasure. Emma couldn’t take it any longer and drew herself upward, getting him to lift his hips to tug his briefs over his legs that joined the jacket on the floor underneath him, his cock jutting out against his abs, pre-cum glistening over the tip.

“ _Emma…”_ he mouthed at her collarbone, reaching for the clasp of her bra and releasing her breasts to his hungry gaze. Killian pawed at one and greedily brought the other to his hot mouth, laving his tongue over her nipple, her thighs shaking like Jell-O above him, her mouth falling open under his assault. Once the nipple hardened in his mouth he switched to the other one, working it the same way as Emma’s grip on his shoulders tightened, no doubt leaving angry red marks in its wake. Emma wantonly ground her hips against his erection in search of friction but came up empty, her lips subconsciously puckering into a needy pout. Killian hoisted her legs, placing her straight against his sides, lifting her up slightly to pull down the underwear that was preventing him from seeing all of her. Once they straddled her thighs she got up and shimmied them down her legs, the glistening lips of her sex level with his eyes. Killian grabbed her by the hips, once again settling her over him again, her knees moving over the edge of the chaise so she could give him a few quick pumps with her hand before impaling herself upon him with a throaty moan, his cock gliding effortlessly against her tight inner walls making his head spin. Emma twisted her hips to grind into him as far as she possibly could before picking up her hips again so just the tip of him was inside her and thrusting herself back down on top of him, riding him. The friction was delicious. Killian allowed Emma to set the pace, working herself over him, her walls clenching around his cock, her tight wet heat engulfing him, taking everything he had. Killian met her thrust for thrust before the tell-tale signs of Emma’s impending orgasm took over. The movement of her hips becoming sloppier above him as he hit that spot inside her over and over and over again. Emma gasped, her mouth falling open in a silent moan as she fell apart on top of him, riding out her orgasm. Killian worked a finger against her clit in an attempt to prolong her orgasm, his other hand jutting out to her hip to continue the motions she was slacking on. Once her hips had stilled, Killian grabbed her ass, roughly, hoisting her off him and tossed her onto the length of the chaise, his hands landing a bruising grip at her wrists to hold her down as he pounded into her relentlessly, chasing his own orgasm, desperate to finish. Killian’s hips pistoned against her, changing the angle as the feeling of his own release started to build.

_“Fuck.. Emma…”_ he growled out, his thrusts intensifying as his eyes clouded with pleasure, the world around him blurring. The sight of her lip jutting out, her lips puckering under his gaze was enough to do him in. Pulling out suddenly, his hand glided against his hard length a few times, spurting his release against her stomach. Emma’s head was thrown back in a low moan at the erotic sight, his seed hot and sticky against her abdomen. He fell happily sated next to her, his body heaving trying to catch his breath, a grin catching on his lips at the mess he had made on her stomach as pay back for her little dance earlier.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

The storm was still raging on outside showing no signs of letting up anytime soon. After cleaning themselves up, Emma searched for a blanket and after finding one she returned to Killian and laid it out by the fire to place themselves on top of it. Killian’s arms wrapped around Emma’s waist, bringing her into him as her head fell against his chest. Emma fell asleep to the sound of the storm and the sound of Killian’s heart beating steadily against her ear, the crackling fire next to them keeping them warm. Killian couldn’t help but think that this was the only place he wanted to be right now, with his arms wrapped around Emma securely, the storm waging war outside as he was lolled to sleep by her peaceful breathing.


	15. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: TRAGIC BACK STORY INVOLVING TEEN PREGNANCY AND ADOPTION. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Killian was jarred awake by the sound of a loud knock on the door around midnight that evening.  

“Piss off Dave! It’s bloody midnight!” Killian yelled, digging his head further into his pillow to muffle the noise.

When the knocking persisted he had no choice but to get up from the cocoon he had made himself on the couch to answer the door. Killian padded across the floor in his gray sweat pants and a dark colored t-shirt to the front door. Killian glanced through the peep hole in the door, shocked to see the face of Emma looking back at him. Killian ran his fingers through his messy, bed ridden hair before unlocking and throwing open the door.

“Emma? Lass, what’s wrong?” Killian asked. Emma said nothing; she just threw her arms around his neck and leapt into his arms. When they finally separated, Killian noticed her red eyes brimming over with tears. Emma was wearing a pair of tight dark denim skinny jeans and a white turtle neck, her jacket tucked securely underneath her arm.

“Emma, sweetheart?” he addressed her again, his arms placed delicately on her shoulders, his eyes meeting hers, using the pad of his thumb to dab at the growing wetness in her eye. Emma’s head turned down under his gaze, sniffling. Killian pulled her back into his arms once more, one hand moving to cradle her head that was placed securely on his shoulder letting her sob quietly into his neck, the other making soothing circles on the small of her back. Killian continued to comfort her as long as she needed before her head lifted from his shoulder, her cries subsiding for the moment although the tears still remained, streaking her red cheeks.

“Can I stay here tonight?” she hiccupped refusing to meet his eyes, the hand he had placed at the back of her head, fingering a lock of her hair.

“Of course, love,” he accepted graciously before maneuvering himself beside her and escorting her inside the apartment by a hand on her lower back, closing the door behind him.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Emma sat on the couch, a blanket placed securely around her shoulders while Killian busied himself with boiling water in a kettle on the stove top. The silence between them was unbearable, neither moving to say a word, waiting for the other to say something first. Killian reached into the lonely cupboard above the sink retrieving a box of chamomile tea, placing it on the countertop and quickly went in search of a clean mug to put it in. Giving up on trying to find a cup, he decided to empty his own and cleaned it carefully before setting it next to the box of tea just as the water began to boil, the kettle noisily whistling its finish. Killian moved the kettle to the opposite burner, letting the water settle, his hands opening the box to fish out a tea bag and gently popping it into the cup, readying itself for the water to be poured. Killian gently lifted the kettle from its place on the stove and poured the contents into the waiting mug, letting the tea steep into the boiling water. While the tea was settling Killian searched through the small stash of food they kept in the house for some milk and honey, eventually coming up empty. He had once again forgotten to stop by the market for the food staples he normally kept in the house. Killian rummaged through the drawer of utensils, coming up with a spoon to help him fish the bag out of the mug and discarded it into a half empty trash bag that was kept on the floor. Killian gave the glass a few rotations with the spoon despite the lack of mix-ins before setting the spoon aside and carefully walked it over to the couch to Emma, blowing on it to cool it down on his way.

“I’m sorry I don’t have any milk or honey,” he apologized handing her the mug which she took gratefully into her hands and adjusted the blanket over her person. Emma liked the comfort the blanket brought her. _Despite it being torn and frayed at the edges, it smelled of him_ , she thought to herself bringing the blanket discreetly to her nose to inhale his scent as he moved to take a seat beside her.

“No, it’s great Killian, thanks,” she half-smiled, blowing air on the steaming contents in an attempt to cool the cup down further before taking a long sip, the burn of it on her tongue and the tingly hot feeling of it going down her throat simmered her feelings down considerably. Killian was so good to her. She could always count on him to take care of her unlike some people she knew.

“I’m not going to ask you what happened,” he admitted breaking the silence, fiddling with his thumbs, leaning back against the couch, the old seat cushion dipping further at the motion. It wasn’t used often to actually sit on; it was used more frequently as a bed. Emma was taken aback by his comment. _When did he ever not want to know what she was thinking? Had he finally given up trying to get into her head? Was he done fighting for her?_ A million thoughts plagued her mind as she tried to figure out a way to start the inevitable conversation.

“I got into a fight with my step mother,” Emma choked out, her rare honestly effectively stunning him into silence. Killian knew Emma hated her step mother for obvious reasons but something about the way she said it made him think there was more to it than that. Killian went slack jawed waiting for her to continue her story, his fingers smoothing over his facial hair. Emma grew tense beside him in preparation of spilling the truth finally, afraid of the outcome. _Would he run from her? Would he be ashamed of her? Would he still want anything to do with her after he heard what she had to say?_ Emma nervously played with the handle of her mug, the cup shaking in her hands, strangled tears threatening to fall from her closed eye lids. Killian imagined this conversation many ways, the silence deafening in his ears as he waited with baited breath for her to finally just come out with it. _What on earth could she be hiding from him that causes her this much pain?_

“Killian, I haven’t been quite honest with you and I’m _so_ sorry…” she bit back tears, fidgeting in her seat, the grasp on her mug tightening considerably under the pressure.

“The worst part is I’ve wanted to tell you a hundred times before, but something kept holding me back,” she shuddered, angry at herself as hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

“But I was afraid. So _afraid_ of losing you. Just like I lost Neal…” she continued, her eyes closing tightly at the pain of the memory.

“And I _love_ you. I’ve fallen in love with you. And I’ve tried so hard to fight it. But I can’t anymore and I don’t want to!” Emma shook her head, her confession hitting him instantly. _She loved him. This amazingly beautiful talented girl loved him._ Killian stilled, his head dropping into his hands at the weight of her words.

“So you have to promise me you won’t hurt me. _Promise me_ … _please…”_ she pleaded, her lips trembling, fearing the worst when his head dropped from her. Killian picked his head up, scooting closer to her, his eyes leveled with her tear soaked ones, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Emma, I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you… all those years ago…” he breathed, caressing her cheek with the palm of his hand.

“Nothing. And I mean _nothing_ is going to change that,” he said, his forehead meeting hers, her breath catching into a bitter-sweet smile, the tears dying on her flushed face.

“You might feel differently when I tell you what I need to tell you. And I’m   _so_ scared,” she admitted, his hand dropping from her face so she could place the mug on the cheap coffee table in front of her.

“I meant what I said Emma. I love you unconditionally. Unconditional love, nothing matters…” he reminded her, her hand pulled into his lap, his fingers gently moving over her knuckles, in a soothing manner.

“You don’t understand this will change… _everything…”_ her hand began to quake in his grasp.

“Then we will deal with it… _together,_ ” he smiled a hopeful encouraging smile. Emma looked down at their joined hands wistfully. There was no way that this wouldn’t change their relationship.

“Killian, I wasn’t at boarding school last year…” she said mildly, his hand dropping from hers.

“Emma, I don’t understand…” he shook his head. Emma nodded at his response, sucking her lower lip in between her teeth, choking on  a silent sob.

“Neal…” she sighed heavily, closing her eyes as a cry broke loose from her mouth. _Why was this so difficult?_ Killian frowned at the only word to escape her lips wanting nothing more than to beat the crap out of him again.

“We never officially broke up. A week before school was supposed to start I found out I was pregnant…” she announced, a strangled gasp leaving her throat when saying the word _pregnant._ Killian left her to finish before passing judgment, trying to be as supportive as possible without having heard the rest of the tale.

“When I told him he was really supportive. He wanted to keep it. I was so relieved. He was great about the whole thing…” Emma recalled, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at the memory.

“But-?” Killian interjected.

“When he went to go tell his father the news… he was furious. Blamed me…” she cried, her hands clutching her stomach as if in pain.

“His father gave him a choice: me and the baby or his inheritance,” she finished her thought. Killian could hardly control his anger, his hands clutched into fists at his knees at the revelation.

“He chose the money over me and insisted I abort the baby,” Emma stated, dabbing at the tears gathering on her cheeks.

“So you left to get away from everything after that?” Killian jumped to the conclusion.

“It’s normal to want to get away after something like that. Emma, I can’t even imagine… And Neal, God, I could kill him for what he did,” Killian babbled on. Emma turned to meet his eyes that were wild with anger and frustration.

“Killian, I didn’t go through with it. I… I _couldn’t,”_ she stuttered, bracing herself for Killian’s reaction.

“Emma, what exactly are you saying?” he asked, his eyelashes blinking furiously.

“I couldn’t go through with the abortion. I wanted to keep it,” she gulped, sucking back more tears.

“My step mother found out. She kept me home from school that day. She ended up sending me away to have the baby. She didn’t want my _dalliance_ to ruin her social standing that she worked so _hard_ for. She sent me away to have the baby. That’s where I was the last year,” Emma finished, looking at Killian, his face a mask of shock, his mouth continuing to open then close as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“Nine months later I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. I got to hold him for five minutes before he was ripped from my arms. Turns out Caroline forged my signature on the adoption papers. I didn’t even get to say goodbye…” Emma sobbed into her hands.

“I don’t know where he is. If he’s alright. If he’s _loved_ …” Emma continued to weep. Killian couldn’t stand to be apart from her any longer. Wrapping his arms around her, and dragging her head into his lap to run his fingers through her hair while she cried. There was no questioning it now: Emma was a mother to a baby boy, abandoned by the father, given up against her will, suffering in silence. Killian’s heart broke for her. She had been through so much and _alone._ No one should have to go through what she did alone.

“Emma, as long as you’re with me you will never be alone again. I promise you,” he vowed, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair. That seemed to be the exact thing Emma needed to hear. Picking up her head from his lap, she stared into his eyes that were shining with nothing but love and devotion for her. Emma placed a steady hand on his knee and leaned in to connect their lips, in a soft and passionate kiss, Killian’s hand went to tangle in the hair at the back of her head, angling his lips to hers.

“Make it go away Killian,” she whispered against his bruised lips. Killian pulled back, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead then moved to brush his fingers against her wet cheeks.

“Make love to me Killian,” she requested, the sensation of his gentle touch against her cheek making her eyes close on instinct, her own hand snaking underneath the opening of his shirt and caressing the skin over his heart that was thumping wildly inside his chest.

“Gods Emma, I love you so much,” he beamed at her, his hand falling over hers, over his shirt to caress her smooth skin. Emma smiled back at him, tears brimming in her eyes, from fear and most of all of love. Love that burned so brightly. Her heart was his for the taking. Killian used his other hand to tangle in her hair, connecting her forehead to his lips, a gesture of over-whelming love he had for her. Killian brought his lips to hers for an all-consuming kiss, pouring every last bit of love he had for her into it, his hand lightly cradling the back of her head. The two pulled apart, their foreheads resting against each other, panting for breath, smiling at how happy they made each other. Nothing could pull them apart from this moment. Killian’s hands fingered the hem of her sweater, slowly inching it upwards to remove it. Emma leaned back allowing him to take it off of her, her own arms hung above her head to assist him, the static of the material clinging to pieces of her hair as it came up over her head. Killian’s arm came to rest at her back, his other hand supporting her head at the neck and bringing her into a laying position on the couch as he hovered above her, gazing lovingly into her eyes. Killian’s hand moved underneath the fabric of her black tank, his fingers smoothing over the contours of her abdomen, stroking it with feather like touches that sent electricity coursing through her body. Emma hummed with pleasure as he dropped a single kiss to her stomach before drawing his attention to the fastening of her jeans and working to undo them, his fingers un-rushed but purposeful. Emma lifted her hips for him, his hands sinking into the opening at the sides and tugging them down her legs along with her panties leaving her in just her black cami. Killian pulled his own shirt over his head, falling on the floor with the rest of the clothing before resting his hand on her cheek to bring her in for another careful loving kiss; she swore she could feel the touch of his lips on every facet of her body. After pulling apart, Killian lifted her up, both of his hands resting on her lower back to rid her of her top that was obscuring his view of her. Killian carefully laid her back down, eyes taking in her full nude form.

“You are so beautiful,” he admired, his eyes shining with love for her, as his thumb caressed her cheek, her own eyes filled with unshed tears playing at her vulnerability in that moment. She had been naked around him dozens of times but she had never felt this bare in front of him before. Her hand braced against his chest, her lower lip trembling in fear as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Emma, love, I’m not going anywhere. You’re mine and I’m yours,” he vowed, his fingers stroking the stay curls at the side of her face.

“I’m in this for the long haul,” he reassured her, placing a single kiss at her neck to calm her quickening pulse. Emma’s lips formed a silent moan as his lips dug into her pulse point, speeding up her heart, as her fingers dipped into his pants, kneading his ass to push him closer to her. Killian’s fingers hooked inside his pants, sensing her urgency and pulled his pants along with his briefs off his hips, swinging his legs across the side of the couch into a seated position to take them completely off, leaving them both with no barriers between them. Emma could feel every last inch of him deliciously pressed against her, her heart beating like a hammer inside her chest. His hot skin set hers on fire, the flames licking at the pressure forming in her lower extremities. Her eyes met his in an instant. His eyes were the bluest she had ever seen them; the sincerity that showed through them made her want to cry.

“I love you Killian,” she breathed out, digging her hands into his dark hair and pulling him to her lips for another soul searing kiss, her lips quivering against his, overwhelmed at the passion behind it. Killian’s hand fell at his arousal to line himself up with Emma’s entrance. Killian placed one last gentle kiss at her brow before pushing himself all the way inside her, burying himself inside her tight wet heat. They moaned simultaneously at the contact, her walls gripping him tightly. Killian got up on his forearms, bracing his weight on them, pulling himself out and then thrusting back in slowly with a carefulness that couldn’t be measured, treating her like she would break if he would allow himself to give into pleasure. She deserved to be adored. Killian continued to worship her body with his, each thrust of his hips hitting her in just the right spot to make her cry out, his name joined with praises of love for him leaving her lips. Emma could barely hold onto him, the pleasure was so intense, her eyes snapping shut as she dug her finger nails into the muscles of his back.

“Emma let go…” he prompted her, his finger meeting her over heated clit, and pressing gently against it to coax her orgasm from her. Emma shook her head vigorously, her lower lip tugged between her teeth, tears streaking her cheeks.

“Emma love, let go, I’ve got you…” he promised with a loving smile, his other thumb sweeping at the sweaty curls sticking to her forehead as the overwhelming pressure came to a crescendo inside her. White light danced behind her closed eye lids, her head falling back against the couch cushion as her orgasm washed over her in waves, her finger nails digging into his skin harder while she rode out her pleasure. Killian followed soon after, unable to keep himself together any longer. Killian fell apart in her arms, his face contorted in blinding pleasure as he emptied himself inside her. Killian fell slack in her arms, his face nestled into her neck as she traced soothing patterns on his back.

“Did you love him?” Killian spoke up, his soft lips tracing her sensitive neck. Emma exhaled roughly at the thoughts his question prompted.

“I thought I did…” she said sadly, wishing she had the ability to change her ugly fate.

“And now?” he questioned, the soft lilt of his voice raw with emotion.

“I love you, _Killian…”_ she breathed, her own words weighed heavily on her heart. She didn’t take it lightly.

“It’s always been _you,_ ” she confessed, overwhelmed with emotion as she brought his face to hers to once again connect their lips, the feeling to be closer to one another was unbearable. They were finally in a good place, neither having any secrets _hidden_ from one another. They could finally just _be_.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain panic attacks, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse. Read at your own risk.

Killian and Emma had finally made it to Thanksgiving break. Their school takes off a solid week for the occasion and everywhere Killian looked people were preparing for the festivities. New York pretty much shut itself down for the holiday with the exception of preparing for the parade, something that neither of them partook in as a holiday tradition. Killian’s past Thanksgivings always consisted of trying to get his father to stop drinking long enough to eat the boxed stuffing he made with bits of cut up pre-packaged deli turkey in it then eventually giving up and going to the garage where they would all get together in a family-like setting to consume mass amounts of well-prepared food. The people at the garage were the closest thing Killian had to a family and he was thankful to even be given that. This year Killian had a lot more to be thankful for: he now had Emma to add to that list of family. Emma had walked into his life at the bleakest time, mending his heart and his ability to find happiness in his otherwise rather dull life.

Killian hadn’t seen or heard from his father in weeks, not that that was anything new to him. He was happy he could skip the theatrics this year of going through the trouble of trying to prepare a semi-decent Thanksgiving dinner for him and his Dad and accepting Emma’s invitation to join her family for Thanksgiving. Killian was looking forward to the dinner, what he wasn’t looking forward to was facing Emma’s step mother knowing what he knew. How was he supposed to keep himself together when the only thing he was going to want to do was leap across the table and choke her to death? A happy Thanksgiving indeed. Emma assured him that her step mother was going to try and be on her very best behavior and that he wouldn’t even need to worry about her father, who she adored. Killian was looking forward to meeting her family. It would give him an opportunity to get to know her better through them. What Killian wasn’t counting on was the appearance of a certain pixie…

“What is _he_ doing here?” Mary Margaret squeaked from Emma’s side as soon as Killian stepped off the elevator. Killian blanched at the sight of her. Mary Margaret was dressed to the nine’s for a simple family dinner. Her outfit consisted of a dark floral print button up dress that landed at her knees, a pair of simple ballet flats and her pixie cut was thrown up with an intricate floral headband to match the dress. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard to him. Emma offered him a sympathetic smile as an apology for forgetting to mention that Mary Margaret would be joining them and returned a pained smile, his eyes reading: _you own me BIG time_.

“Mary Margaret, you remember Killian,” Emma reminded her cousin and best friend. Mary Margaret had an un-approving scowl on her pale lips, her arms crossed at her waist, glaring at him.

“ _Right_. Your Geography partner with the big mouth,” Mary Margaret recalled, with a bored expression.

“Speak for yourself _pixie_ ,” Killian countered with a raised eyebrow making Mary Margaret’s mouth drop taking offense to his comment.

“How dare you! Honestly Emma, he has no manners at all!” Mary Margaret scoffed.

“Stop! Both of you. Mary Margaret, he’s a nice guy, really. Besides you two should get to know each other,” Emma insisted, gesturing to the people she cared about the most.

“He’s going to be around for quite some time,” Emma tacked on causing Mary Margaret to raise a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh? And why might that be?” she asked tapping her foot impatiently, her voice ringing sharply in his ears like a bell.

“Because… _weareseeingeachothernow_ ,” Emma strung the words together quickly, her voice trailing off in the distance.

“What was that? I didn’t quite catch that,” Mary Margaret asked for confirmation.

“I said that we are seeing each other now,” Emma said lowly still trying to avoid telling her the truth.

“Ah. You?! With… _him…”_ she gestured to Emma then to Killian, her face contorting into disgust as if she was smelling something rotten.

“Honestly Mary Margaret, can’t you just be happy for me? He’s a great guy and he makes me really happy…” Emma said in Killian’s defense causing Killian to grin in Mary Margaret’s visibly upset direction.

“That’s exactly what you said about Neal and look what he did to you!” Mary Margaret stomped her foot trying to talk some sense into her friend.

“Killian’s not like that. He would never hurt me,” Emma insisted, Killian’s grin growing wider at every compliment she paid him. Mary Margaret wouldn’t budge on the subject. She was just being cautious, and rightfully so.

“Just try to get along… for _me_ ,” Emma pleaded with her friend before walking away to prepare her parents to meet Killian. Killian moved to follow her but was pulled back by Mary Margaret with a quick yank of his shirt. She put her face right up into his to address him.

“You weren’t here when I had to pick up the pieces after Neal, so if you break her heart… I break your neck,” she threatened jabbing him in the chest with her finger. Killian just rolled his eyes at her expense and pulled away to walk in the same direction Emma had left that led to the formal dining room. He hadn’t been in here since the stint with the paint, smiling at the carpet on the ground that covered the evidence of what had happened. He was pulled from his thoughts by Emma who walked around the table, pulling her father by the arm to introduce him. The man standing in front of him was the same man Emma had been dancing with at the ball, Killian recognizing him without the mask and top hat. Albert Swan was a short portly gentleman and looked nothing like Emma with the exception of his eyes and smile. _She must take after her mother_ , he thought. Killian stood straighter under his gaze wanting to make a good first impression that would no doubt be harder considering Emma’s past situation. Emma brought the man around, her arm wrapped around his shoulder standing nearly half a foot taller than him in her high heels.

“Daddy, I want you to meet Killian. Killian, this is my father,” Emma introduced them with an excited smile.

“Killian,” her father greeted lowly, extending his hand out for him to shake.

“Sir,” Killian nodded meeting his hand in a polite shake.

“A firm handshake, I like that,” Albert commented while shaking his hand. Killian sighed in relief at his approval, his features visibly relaxing. Killian was full of first experiences when it came to Emma, meeting the father of your girlfriend was no exception.

“Call me Albert. Anyone who can put a smile on my daughter’s face like you do deserves to call me by my first name,” he laughed teasingly at Killian. Emma laughed along with him before moving into the kitchen to help bring out the dishes that were made by a catering team onto the beautifully decorated table. It was plain to see that Albert adored his daughter; she deserved to be adored. It probably had something to do with her looking exactly like her late mother.

“Have a seat son,” Killian glanced back at Emma, her face smiling brightly at the sight of him and her father bonding before taking a seat at the table across from Albert. Killian’s eyes followed Emma as she busied herself with taking out various dishes from the kitchen and placing them on the table. She was so beautiful; she chose to wear a simple white flowing blouse belted around her waist, a pair of tight fitting dark denim skinny jeans, and expensive heels that none of her outfits could go without.

“So tell me a little bit about yourself Killian,” Albert asserted from across the table, catching his attention.

“What do you want to know?” Killian swallowed.

“How about your favorite subject in school?” he suggested.

“I like art,” Killian supplied.

“Art huh?” Emma’s father leaned back into his chair with a sigh.

“Yes sir,” Killian confirmed with the nod of his head.

“What’s your medium?”

“I work with charcoal and paint mostly.”

“Emma, have you seen any of his stuff?” her father asked her as she walked in to the dining room to slide the mashed potatoes on to the table, her stilettos clanking against the floor until she got to the carpet.

“Actually I haven’t,” Emma replied, with a curious smile, her mind wondering as to why that was. Art was such a big part of his life as was she now. How come he hadn’t shared that with her?

 “I’ve actually been told I have a lot of talent. I’m just self-conscious about my work,” Killian explained.

“All great artists are,” Emma’s father smiled supportively. Emma grinned widely at the easy conversation flowing between her two favorite men in her life.

“So Emma tells me you work in garage. I’ve always admired a man who works hard for his money,” her father stated with a loud palm thrust to the table, the business side of him clearly showing.

“Sounds like a dirty job to me,” a regal voice scoffed from the stair case. Killian’s eyes panned in that direction to see an average length woman dressed in a black pencil skirt, white blouse, black tights with black heels, her brunette hair pulled into a tight bun on the top of her head. Caroline. She was exactly how Killian pictured her, turning her nose up at every little thing that she didn’t agree with like she was better than everyone else because in her mind she was. Killian’s fists clenched against his knees trying to fight with his better judgment about giving her a piece of his mind. Caroline took another long sip of from the glass of champagne in her diamond studded hand and walked through the living area and stopped in the kitchen that joined the dining room in the open floor plan of the penthouse. Killian suspected Caroline of being at least 8 years younger than her husband, making her closer to Emma’s age. A trophy wife no doubt.

“On the contrary, it’s a very respectable line of work for a man his age. I’m very impressed,” Albert spoke politely, ignoring his wife.

“Starting the drinking early this year are we?” Emma jabbed making Mary Margaret laugh from the living area, her hand quickly shooting to her mouth to muffle the giggles. Well, there was something Killian and Mary Margaret could agree on. Caroline shot her a tight lipped smile, trying to keep her composure around her guests.

“That’s rich coming from you,” she said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips in a mild victory before downing the rest of her drink and moving to refill it. Killian found their relationship interesting. They bickered like frenemies or siblings, definitely not a mother daughter kind of relationship.

“Ladies come now it’s a holiday. Let’s be civil,” her father spoke up before fists started flying, which the undoubtedly would have had he not intervened. “Let’s start the festivities, shall we?”

“Sure darling,” Caroline chimed before retrieving a large expensive bottle of champagne and bringing it to the table as others took their seats to begin dinner. Killian scooted forward in his seat sitting across from Emma’s father. Caroline took the seat next to her husband, and Emma took the seat next to Killian followed by Mary Margaret. Maybe an on looker would actually mistake them for a normal family. The family said a quick prayer thanking whoever it was out there that brought them to this moment. Killian didn’t really believe in a higher power so he politely bowed his head with the rest of them to be respectful of their beliefs. After a chorus of “amen” everyone began taking turns dishing out food onto their respective plates.

“Oh dear!” Albert exclaimed, the palm of his head slapping his forehead.

“What is it?” Caroline asked, her hand placed delicately over her husbands.

“I’ve forgotten to tip the caterer,” he remembered. “I better go see if I can catch them or there will be hell to pay for the next event we hire them for,” he explained, moving to get out of his seat.

“Excuse me for a moment, I will be right back,” he informed his guests before taking his leave out of the apartment.

“Let me help you lass,” Killian offered, extending his hand for Emma’s plate so that he could dish her out.

“Thank you,” she nodded, setting her plate in Killian’s hand who in turn began to dish out food starting with the mashed potatoes that were located directly in front of him. Killian topped the spoon with potatoes and plated them before silently asking if that was enough.

“Maybe just another spoonful,” Emma told him.

“She doesn’t need any more,” Caroline interrupted, mid-scoop.

“Excuse me?” Killian asked, potatoes dripping from the spoon and back into the main bowl.

“Moderation is key. Besides there is plenty more food on the table…” she began. Killian’s eyes turned to meet Emma’s, a look of shock on his face.

“Carbs go straight to the thighs. I’m doing you a favor young man.” Killian blanched at her words, unbelievable.

“Emma you really should take better care of yourself; it took you so long to lose the baby weight,” she pressed on with another sip of her glass, uncaring if Emma had even told him about her past or not. Killian’s mouth gapped at her words. This woman was a piece of work. No wonder Emma hated her so much. ~~~~

“Caroline, can you pass the Botox?” Mary Margaret asked, successfully changing the subject. Caroline gave her an unamused, tight-lipped smile as Mary Margaret fought to keep a straight face.

“Sorry, I meant stuffing,” Mary Margaret corrected herself. Killian shook his head. He had to admit the pixie was kind of growing on him. Killian, ignoring Caroline’s wishes emptied spoon after spoonful of mashed potatoes onto Emma’s plate and handed it to Emma, his eyes never leaving her step mother’s as he did so. Emma reached underneath the table beside him to give his knee a gentle appreciative squeeze to show she approved of his rebellious actions. Killian wished he could have done more. Emma knew all she had to do was say the word and he would have gone off on her, but what would that have solved? Emma lifted her fork, digging into the potatoes and shoving them into her mouth, an all-knowing grin on her face as she chewed her food.

“Fine. That’s just fine! Just don’t come crying to me when nothing fits. You cry enough as it is but for what I don’t know…” Caroline’s eyes met her step daughter’s as she said it, gauging her reaction. Killian once again found himself looking to Emma at Caroline’s revelation. Emma had a tragic past no doubt, but was it still eating her up inside? Was she really that depressed?

“Anything else you want to say in front of our guests?” Caroline asked taking another healthy sip of her drink.

“I know! We can tell them about that time we were at the Met Ball and you tore your dress because you ordered it a size too small…” Emma began.

“Or how about the time where you spilled coffee on yourself at the Business Woman of America luncheon?”

“Emma-“ Killian warned, knowing exactly where this was headed.

“Wait no! I got it this time. We can tell them about how you forced me to give my son up for adoption. Unknowingly. Against _my_ wishes. I’m sure they’d love to hear all about it…” Emma yelled at her from across the table, tears gathering in her eyes, a stunned silence falling over them all. Killian could see Mary Margaret looking at him from the corner of his eye, no doubt trying to see if he knew the confession long before it was said at the dinner table. Emma grabbed her empty champagne flute next to her plate and filled it to the brim, before chugging the contents not even stopping to take a breath. Caroline had a satisfied smile on her lips knowing she had driven her step daughter to drinking her problems away.

“See? This is a lot more like you,” Caroline commented, apparently very pleased with herself. Emma slapped her empty glass down on the table as she began to hyperventilate, her chest heaving to try and catch her breath. Mary Margaret pulled the napkin from her lap and placed it on the table before turning to face Emma, both her hands placed on Emma’s wet cheeks.

“Emma look at me,” Mary Margaret attempted to get her to focus.

“Emma listen to me. You’re alright. You’re alright… _you’re alright…_ ” Mary Margaret chanted to her, trying to pull her out of her own mind. Emma began convulsing in Mary Margaret’s grasp, choking on the air around her. Killian was petrified where he sat, unmoving, helpless and angry. Killian began to gain motion in his hand, his body finally catching up with his mind. Killian had never been around her when she was like this. It looked like Mary Margaret had and knew exactly what she was doing so Killian chose not to interfere and let her bring his love back. Emma let out a sharp gasp of breath, her normal breathing pattern beginning to come back to her. Mary Margaret pulled a trembling Emma out of her seat by her hands to escort her upstairs to her room and away from everyone.

“God, she is so dramatic…” Caroline rolled her eyes, swallowing another gulp of champagne. Killian couldn’t believe what he had just heard come out of her mouth. He was fighting tooth and nail to hold onto some semblance of his sanity. He had promised Emma not to say anything, especially in front of her father, who apparently had no idea of just how bad the past that these two women shared together. If looks could kill, Caroline would be dead where she sat. Killian’s eyes bore into hers, staring her down. Caroline met his eyes, exchanging a challenging look before hiccupping and downing the rest of her drink. It was futile to say anything at this point, it wouldn’t change the past and it certainly wouldn’t change the future. Killian’s eyes filled with hot angry tears, the emotion almost too much to handle as he got up from his seat to turn, stomping across the living area and stopping when Albert finally made his reappearance.

“Where you off to so fast?” Albert asked, adjusting the cuff links on his shirt, staring at Killian as his hand touched the railing of the stairs.

“Emma’s not feeling too well. I’m going to go up and check on her,” Killian babbled, trying to decided just how much to reveal to the man.

“Tell her I hope she feels better,” the man said none the wiser before striding across the floor and back to his wife to finish dinner. Killian jogged up the stairs as fast as he could to check on Emma, bursting through the door to her bedroom in search for her, his legs taking him all the way to the bathroom where Emma sat on top of the counter, her head leaning back against the mirror as Mary Margaret applied a cold wet wash cloth to her face. Emma shivered at the touch of the damp towel on her face, her ears and nose flushed red from her ordeal.

“Is she going to be alright?” Killian whispered almost afraid of the answer.

“Yeah. She’ll recover,” Mary Margaret offered meekly.

“Does this sort of thing happen a lot?”

“This isn’t nearly as bad as it’s been before…” Mary Margaret supplied, blotting the towel on the clammy skin of Emma’s forehead.

“This isn’t the first time it’s happened?” Killian choked out.

“Of course not. She’s had severe panic attacks that render her nearly catatonic,” Mary Margaret explained matter-of-factly as if he was supposed to know. Suddenly everything started to make sense: Mary Margaret’s overprotective behavior, Emma’s absences from school… Killian’s mouth opened and closed as if to say something but held back on voicing his thoughts aloud.

“I’m glad she has you,” Killian gave her a weak smile, coming to stand next to Mary Margaret.

“Don’t be silly. She has you now as well…” Mary Margaret reminded him.

“I thought you didn’t like me,” Killian stammered, confused.

“I don’t _hate_ you. I don’t really _like_ you but you make Emma happy and that’s enough for me,” Mary Margaret nodded. Emma groaned her head moving to the side to face Killian, her eyes haunted him.

“ _Killian…”_ she murmured weakly from her spot on the counter top.

“I’m going to give you two some space,” Mary Margaret dismissed herself, going out into Emma’s bedroom to wait for them, closing the door behind her. Killian shuffled towards Emma, her eyes beckoning him forward. He stood in front of her unsure of what to say or if he should say anything at all. Emma’s hand reached out for his, intertwining their fingers together as a comforting gesture.

“I’m sorry you had to see that...” she admitted.

“Lass, don’t-“

“It was a terrible idea to have you here,” she went on to say.

“I should have known better…” she reprimanded herself.

“I can’t believe I thought that I could have a normal family holiday and introduce my parents to my boyfriend like a normal teenager,” she laughed bitterly, her lips contorting into a sad smile, sniffling quietly.

“Thanksgiving is ruined…” she thought aloud, her head smacking against the mirror behind her.

“Maybe it’s not,” Killian said hopefully.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian, Emma and Mary Margaret piled into the limo and took off as soon as Emma felt able enough.

“Ick. This is where you live?” Mary Margaret looked out the half open window taking in the unique surroundings. Mary Margaret turned down her nose in disgust and hit the button to seal the window back up.

“How do you live?” her forehead crinkling under the stress her own question provoked. Killian shook his head, his arm wrapped securely around Emma as she laughed into his shoulder, the musical sound making him smile, happy for the reprieve from the events that took place earlier.

“We’re here,” Killian said as the limo screeched to a halt outside of their destination. Killian didn’t wait for the driver to come around and open the door instead he detangled himself from Emma and hopped out of the car, his hand extended out to Emma who was wearing his leather jacket. He had come to find that Emma enjoyed wearing that particular article of clothing of his, it brought her a lot of comfort and who was he to turn down making her feel better after the events that had transpired earlier. Emma shoved her hand through the sleeve opening and grasped Killian’s waiting hand and walked onto the sidewalk to find herself standing directly in front of the Sherwood Auto Garage. Killian walked around to the other side of the limo and opened the door for Mary Margaret who was currently refusing to even step foot outside. And people wondered why he didn’t associate with people from school? Stuck up and sheltered. He should just drag her out of there by the hair on her head. This trip would defiantly be eye-opener for her.

“No way. You can’t make me,” she scoffed, crossing her arms and huffing.

“Would you like to-“ Killian fished around for the words to say to Emma before gesturing back to Mary Margaret who was acting like she was in the back of a cop car instead of a limo. “You know…”Emma raised her hands up in mock surrender and walked over to kneel in front of the open car door.

“Mary Margaret we didn’t come all this way for you to just sit inside the limo for the rest of the evening,” Emma told her as if she were a child.

“It’s Brooklyn!” she sneered not relinquishing her stance on the issue.

“Yes, Brooklyn, not Guantanamo Bay…” Emma chided with the roll of her eyes.

“She doesn’t get out much,” Emma whispered to Killian behind her as an excuse.

“Clearly…” Killian said annoyed and Emma gave him a look that said, _a little help if you’d please._

“Ask her if she’s hungry,” Killian suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Mary Margaret, are you hungry?” Emma asked with a sincere smile.

“No,” Mary Margaret grumbled before the audible sound of an empty belly could be heard by Emma, her face contorting into a winning smile.

“Fine!” she finally gave up, hauling herself out of the vehicle and onto the sidewalk.

“But if I get a flesh eating bacteria, I’m sending you my medical bill,” she told Emma dramatically.

“Fine,” Emma agreed, seeing no sense in arguing with her further.

“After you ladies…” Killian bowed his head gesturing to the open door that led into the garage. Emma and Mary Margaret took the lead with Killian trailing behind them. Once they entered they found the middle of the work space to be cleared, leaving enough room for a large fold out table and folding chairs with butcher paper thrown over the top to give some semblance of a table cloth. Surrounding the table were the faces of Robin and his date Regina, Roland and David with quite the spread set up in front of them.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” Robin greeted Killian from the table.

“Sorry I’m late. Do you have room for two more?” Killian asked gesturing to his girlfriend and Mary Margaret whose body was caving in on itself in an attempt not to touch anything.

“The more the merrier,” he grinned beckoning them to the table.

“I’m going to go get two more chairs,” David announced, jumping up from his seat and jogging into the break room to retrieve the chairs.

“Killian, I’d like you to meet Regina,” Robin introduced. Regina cleaned her hands using the napkin in her lap before politely smiling and extending her hand to shake Killian’s.

“I was wondering when we would finally get to meet you. Robin has told us so much about you,” Killian said, breaking his hand from the handshake.

“All good things I hope…” she brushed her hair from her face, glaring playfully at Robin.

“The best, I assure you,” Robin beamed at his date.

“Robin, you remember Emma…” Killian gestured to Emma who was standing beside him. Robin’s and Emma’s hands met over the table in a friendly greeting, “…my girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized the title had changed. It’s nice to see you again Emma,” Robin greeted with the bow of his head. Emma released his hand sinking back into the comfort of Killian’s jacket.

“This is my cousin Mary Margaret,” Emma introduced with a leather clad hand to her left.

“Thank you for joining us Mary Margaret,” Robin nodded in her direction. Mary Margaret didn’t reply until a swift elbow to the shoulder startled her into submission.

“Thank you for having me,” she mumbled against her will much to Emma’s chagrin.

“Killian!” a small voice broke through the silence, the voice belonging to the littlest member of the Sherwood Garage crew.

“Hey bud. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You’ll never guess where we went today!” he giggled excitedly, poking his head out from his spot at the table.

“We went to the parade!” Roland provided before Killian even had an opportunity to ask.

“Wow. Sounds great, lad,” Killian mentioned showing interest.

“You took him to the parade? You never go to the parade. You hate the crowds…” Killian turned to Robin in confusion.

“I _do,_ but Regina knows someone who works on the parade route and made us an offer we couldn’t refuse,” Robin explained, smiling in Regina’s direction. He was absolutely smitten.

“Killy, I saw all these floats… and… balloons…!” he exclaimed nearly jumping of his seat with excitement.

“Sorry it took me so long, the break room is a-“ David babbled on, reentering the main area of the garage, two folding chairs in a hand across his back showing off the bulging muscles in his back. David stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Mary Margaret who looked very uninterested in everything going on around her.

“Who’s your friend Killian?” David asked his friend while his attention was fully on Mary Margaret, unable to take his eyes off of her.

“Dave, this is Mary Margaret, Emma’s cousin,” he announced, David’s eyes sparkled at the sound of her name.

“Mary Margaret,” David tested the sound of her name on his own tongue. ~~~~

“It is _very_ nice to meet you Mary Margaret. I’m David,” he looked at her from across the table where she stood. Mary Margaret paid him no mind. When it looked like he wouldn’t receive a response from her David went back to laying out the chairs on the floor; setting an empty one next to him and the other one next to Killian’s usual spot.

“Mary Margaret…” David addressed her, holding out her chair for her to come over and sit in. Mary Margaret rolled her eyes stomping her feet as hard as she could for someone who was wearing ballet flats and took the seat meant for her, disregarding David completely. Killian pulled Emma to the table, pulling out her chair for her then took his own seat next to her.

“Well she certainly is a little spitfire,” David commented to Killian who was seated to the right of him.

“You have no idea…” Killian groaned before grabbing two plates from the center of the table to begin dishing him and Emma up with food, _finally_.

“Mary Margaret, what can I get you?” David offered, gesturing to the food in front of them, her plate in his hand.

“I will get it myself, _thank_ _you_ ,” she said bitterly, wrenching the plate from his hand, a confused look on his face.

“You should have heeded my warning mate,” Killian whispered lowly while spooning food onto Emma’s plate for her. David was beside himself for being unable to understand Mary Margaret. Taking his own plate, he began to collect a second helping of food for himself, maintaining a sour look on his face that Mary Margaret had placed there.

“David, a second helping, really?” Robin eyed him curiously from down the opposite side of the table.

“What?” David asked nonchalantly with the shrug of his shoulders.

“This is your _second_ Thanksgiving dinner of the day and you’re having seconds?” Robin said drawing the attention from the rest of the table, everyone stopping what they were doing to look at him.

“I’m hungry,” he said shoving a dinner roll into his mouth, his cheeks reddening with a smile around the roll protruding from his mouth.

“ _Charming_ …” Mary Margaret insulted under her breath beside him, a look of disgust on her face.

“No. I’m David,” he said chewing with his mouth open in an attempt to swallow the bread in his mouth whole.

“Don’t care. _Charming_ suits you…” she corrected, her voice dripping with sarcasm, wrinkling her nose as she looked at the ill-mannered man sitting next to her. David gave her a shit-eating grin as he finally swallowed his roll causing her to scoff and turn her attention back to her own plate, filling it with the delicious food on the table.

“Are you sure it’s safe to be eating in an automotive garage?” Mary Margaret asked using her fork to pick at the food on her plate, a skeptical look on her face.

“Mary Margaret one more negative word from you and I swear-“ Emma warned her friend, “It’s Thanksgiving! Be thankful to the people who took you in and fed you!” Emma bellowed from down the table before digging into her food, effectively shutting Mary Margaret up.

By the end of the meal everyone was sitting around the table laughing uncontrollably, everyone thoroughly enjoying themselves. Even Mary Margaret seemed to be having a good time, even interacting with David despite their earlier exchange.

“That was the last time I allowed food in my classroom,” Regina finished her story to a chorus of giggles from the table.

“Hey, I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick,” Emma told Killian amongst the chaos going on at the table.

“Do you remember where it is?” Killian asked his eye’s meeting her’s then shifting in the direction to the single bathroom that the garage had. Emma nodded her head.

“Hurry back, alright?” he brought his lips to her forehead for a quick kiss then left her to her business.

Emma stumbled into the bathroom, closing the door and flipping the light switch on. The florescent lights above were dim and dark, one of the three lights were out, the other held a steady stream of light, and the last one was blinking furiously as if about to go out but never did. Emma set her chunky purse down on the counter beside the sink, her eyes meeting her reflection in the mirror seemingly hating the person staring back at her. Emma gripped the sides of the counter top, her features dead as the feeling of self-loathing overtook her. Her heart began to race, her palms growing sweaty and her eyes grew cloudy with hot tears as she began to hyperventilate. Before losing control of her senses, her trembling hand reached into her bag to retrieve a bottle of pills. Her hand shook as she began to loosen the cap and she poured a few of its contents into the palm of her hand before dry swallowing the pills, the pain ebbing with the digestion of the muscle relaxants. Replacing the bottle she dug through her bag for one last item. She breathed a sigh of relief when her hand closed around another small bottle made of glass. Pulling out the 8 ounce bottle of perfectly aged scotch, she unscrewed the lid, clutching it in her hand, as she downed half the bottle in a single gulp to chase the pills and rid herself of the empty feeling in her gut. After hiding the bottle back in her bag she glanced back into the mirror, seeing herself differently this time. She wasn’t Emma, she was someone else. Anyone else. The person staring back at her was better than her, dry red eyes and all. This person was more confident, more fun, and best of all, this Emma didn’t have anxiety attacks. Emma turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on her heated face before blotting it with a paper towels she found in the form of a roll by the sink and tossing it in the trash next to the counter. Giving herself one last look in the mirror, she smiled with a hint of sadness in her features before deciding to leave the bathroom and rejoin the group. Emma took her empty seat next to Killian who turned to her, looking into her bloodshot eyes.

“You alright?” he asked with concern.

“Never better,” she provided him with a smile as Killian visibly relaxed with her words before digging back into his food, the secret she harbored dying on her face as she hid herself from the rest of the world.


	17. Seventeen

With midterms drawing closer, Killian and Emma found themselves in a constant need to study. Although, a whole lot of studying didn’t happen during those study sessions.

The clash of books falling from the bed and tumbling to the floor didn’t seem to bother them one bit as Killian molded his body to Emma’s, his mouth tangling with hers as he palmed at her breast over the top part of her dress in a needy fashion. They had been studying for various tests for hours and just needed a reprieve from the ordeal. Killian’s hand found itself grasping Emma’s thigh, hitching it over his lower back to grind himself into her, their lips flush against each other in a heavy petting session. Emma gasped at the wonderful friction caused by his lower half meeting hers, Killian swallowing her cries of pleasure. Killian’s right hand came to tangle itself in her hair, his left grasping at the bare skin of her hip underneath her dress. Pulling apart, their foreheads touching an attempt to catch their breath as Killian’s eyes drifted to the opening of her dress, the top two buttons already undone exposing the skin just above her breasts, taunting him with what lay beneath.

Killian’s lips ghosted over her neck causing her to shiver at the touch of his warm breath against her sensitive neck before he sank down, sucking and nipping at the supple flesh making her moan, her fingers moving to claw at the dark hairs at the nape of his neck. Killian’s lips trailed kisses to her exposed skin from her collar bone to where it stopped just above her hidden chest. Killian snaked his hand underneath her lower back, hoisting her chest closer to his face, his nimble fingers diligently working to release the top buttons of her dress to expose the treasure that was hidden from him. Killian’s grasp tightened around her lower back hauling her against his eager mouth as he feasted upon her exposed cleavage. Emma went slack in his arms, her body arching against his mouth, keening for more. Killian shifted her weight onto just the hand that held her lower back using his spare hand to push the sleeves that were already falling down, all the way off of her arms, his mouth still licking and sucking at the skin peeking out from underneath her black strapless bra. Her heaving breath making her breasts lurch into him was a very enticing sight.

Killian dipped two fingers in between the cups of her bra, the entrapment sliding down her torso to fall at her waist, leaving her nude breasts bare before him. Killian swallowed, his tongue peeking out over his dry lips to wet them, his mouth ever so close to her hardened pink nipples just begging to be touched by him. Killian raised Emma’s body closer to his mouth, his hot breath warming over one nipple before closing his mouth over the puckered bud, sucking, his other hand closing around her other mound as his thumb and forefinger tweaked the nipple causing Emma to writhe in his hold. Her eyes shut tightly under the assault of his mouth, the sensation making the dampness pool between her thighs. Killian moaned against her nipple, his mouth doing deliciously sinful things to her. He was like a man obsessed, hungering for the erect flesh, never getting enough. Emma squirmed underneath him as he switched, cupping the abused mound, kneading it gently, his finger rolling the wet rosy tip while he suckled the other. Emma Swan was bucking wildly underneath him, her shallow pants and cries spurring him on further. Gaining some control of her motions, Emma’s arm dropped to the hem of her dress, inching it up ever so slowly to dip her trembling hand underneath the fabric and slipping her hand under the elastic of her panties, a sigh of contentment falling from her lips when her fingers met the hot wet flesh of her swollen clit, beginning to work it in time with Killian’s motions against her breasts. Killian continued to pinch her nipple, his hand fondling her breast as he quickened the lapping of the other nipple with his tongue. 

Emma’s body was on fire by his touch, her body shuttering with her impending release as she furiously rubbed at her clit with her thumb until she cried out her climax, wave after wave of white hot pleasure assaulting her senses. Killian released her nipple from his mouth with a wet plop, the hand on her breast moving to where her own hand had stilled, his own replacing hers as he helped her ride out her orgasm. Emma’s skin was flushed in the afterglow of her release as she came to, her green eyes finding his blue ones. Killian removed his hand from underneath her dress using it to brush back the sweaty curls on her face, an expression of complete love and adoration shone through on his face as he looked upon her blissful features, lowering her back into a laying position on the bed, his body leaning on its side next to her.  

“Hi,” he said with a smile, his thumb caressing her rosy cheek.

“Hi yourself,” her face fell into a silent laugh, her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath she took. Killian slipped a leg over her body, sitting on his knees straddling her lower half before throwing his shirt over his head and coming down to capture his lips with hers, his hand cradling her chin to control the kiss. Emma could feel his erection pressed up against her deliciously, quickly reigniting the sexual fire that began to simmer low in her belly.

“You are insatiable…” he quipped, smiling against her lips.

“Speak for yourself,” she challenged playfully with a smirk, wiggling beneath him, pressing her center against his aching arousal making him hiss with pleasure. Killian leaned his head against her exposed skin stopping at the open V the fabric made with the opened buttons to undo the rest of them. One handed, he opened them baring the rest of her to him, the dress now lying beneath her body at her hips. Killian lifted her body up towards him once more, her hair falling like a curtain at her back as he expertly snapped the clasp of her bra. Gripping both fallen articles of clothing, he threw them off the bed before gently laying her back down before hurriedly removing his pants and briefs. Killian hooked his fingers into the sides of her underwear pulling them down to toss with the rest of the clothing before situating himself back down upon her with absolutely no barriers left between them. Emma’s tongue darted out of her mouth slightly, licking at her bottom lip before sucking it in between her teeth at the sight of his nude form. Killian was an Adonis at the ripe age of seventeen; men like him could only get better with age. Killian growled under his breath possessively, tugging at the lip that was caught between her teeth and ripping it from the hold she had on it with his thumb and forefinger.

“Only I get to do that,” he warned huskily before capturing her lip with his teeth, nipping at it gently. Emma’s hands weaved themselves around his neck, her fingers coming to play at the small hairs at the nape of his neck, tugging friskily. Killian’s hand pulled from its position from beside her head to cup her battered breast, pinching at the aroused bud, her chest arching up into his waiting hand.

_“Need…”_ she whined softly, her head tossing from side to side against the pillow, the sensation too much, too soon after her orgasm.

“What do you _need_ Emma?” he teased with a single nod of his head, a naughty smirk on his lips trying to coax a response from her.

“ _Need you…”_ she whimpered, her lower lip trembling.

“ _Where do you need me, lass?”_ he whispered taunting her as the fingers  on his opposite hand splayed against her torso, caressing the skin just above her pubic bone.

“ _In me… need YOU in me,”_ she finally said, the pitch of her voice rising with sexual need. Killian released the hold on her heaving bosom, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the overly stimulated nipple in simple apology before meeting her lust filled eyes with his own. Emma sucked in a breath, her leg hitching over his lower back instinctively, preparing for what was to come.  Killian brushed a few hairs from her face before connecting one of his hands with hers, raising it to the pillow next to her head, his other hand falling to his shaft to give it a few tugs before guiding it inside her scorching heat. Killian pushed himself in, inch by glorious inch until he was fully seated within her, her slick walls grasping him tightly like a vice. Killian tugged their join hands, bringing her hand to his lips for a tender kiss, before hitching his body up on the forearm of his other arm, their connected hands falling easily back into their previous position, lifting himself out of her until just the tip remained before surging back down slowly, rocking his hips into hers. Emma could feel all of him within her, her body pulsing with desire for him as he stretched her.

Killian grasped the thigh that was wrapped around his waist pulling her to meet his heavy thrusts, building her up. Emma was on the brink of orgasm, the empty hand next to her head fisting at the sheets beneath her as Killian continued to plunge into her. Taking the empty hand, her fingers trailed down her body soaked with a fine sheen of sweat, her hand quickly finding the swollen bundle of nerves of her clit as Killian rocked his body into hers, his own release on the horizon. Emma hummed below him, her finger rubbing furiously at her clit as she fell closer to the edge, Killian thrusting himself up to the hilt inside of her every time, hitting that spot inside her that sent her reeling into her climax. Killian felt her walls squeeze him, milking his own release from him as he spilled himself inside of her, hot and sticky.

Emma clawed at the matted hair of his neck, pulling him down into a kiss, swallowing his cries of ecstasy, his well-muscled chest dipping into the swell of her breasts with exhaustion. The sated weight of him on top of her was damn near heavenly as she panted into his mouth. Killian pulled away, his forehead touching hers as they struggled to catch their breaths. Once Killian’s breathing had evened out he braced himself in a push-up position, his hands placed on either side of her head as he lifted his softening member from her tight depths, rolling his body from atop of her. Killian pressed his chest against her lithe nude form, tucking her head underneath his chin as he spooned her from behind, his hand falling at her stomach, caressing it, gently lolling her to sleep before his own slumber claimed him.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian awoke to the sun setting, the light seeping through the curtains of Emma’s bedroom window. Killian lifted his head gently, careful not to wake the woman sleeping soundly next to him, her chest rising and falling quietly in deep sleep.  Killian skillfully detangled himself from her, her mouth falling into a sigh as she adjusted her body within the twisted sheets, her body lying on its side, the sheet wrapped around her stomach and waist, the end nestled between her locked legs behind her delicate knees giving him a pleasant view of half of her shapely ass and bare back, her golden hair falling into a pile where he once laid beside her. She looked like an angel bathed in the glow of the setting sun. Killian quietly removed himself from the comfort of the bed and padded around her bedroom to pick his sweats off from the ground and sliding them back on, the material resting low on his hips.

Killian shuffled to where his messenger bag sat at the foot stool next to the bed, digging in he retrieved his sketchbook and a pencil which he stuck behind his ear before sliding the small cushioned chair from Emma’s vanity table, positioning it to where he had the perfect view of Emma’s back, the sun lighting her naked body beautifully. Killian took a calculated step back, admiring the pretty picture of the blonde goddess he painted in his head. Emma was his muse and the subject of the majority of his sketchbook; he hadn’t been this inspired until she came along. Killian took the backless seat, pulling his leg up onto the chair resting with his foot digging into the seat creating a surface for which to lay his sketchpad onto. Opening the book, he flipped through page after page after page of nothing but Emma before finding a blank page, the open cover with past pages sticking out falling over his leg. His fingers caressed the blank page, the smooth  paper underneath his fingertips filling his head with a multitude of endless creative possibilities. Killian gingerly pulled the pencil that he had tucked behind his ear, wetting the tip with his tongue as he began to capture the beauty before him.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Emma stirred just as he was putting the finishing touches on his sketch, her body turning to the side after feeling the empty spot next to her. Emma craned her head, finding Killian in a concentrated seated position upon her small stool, a leg resting close to his body, the dark hairs of his chest a cool contrast against his light skin, his blue eyes piercing under his dark lashes as the pencil furiously moved in his hands. In Emma’s mind it was the perfect sight to wake up to, pulling her legs over the side of the bed and hauling herself up, adjusting the crisp warm bed sheet to cover her naked body and tip toeing to where he sat next to the other side of the bed. Emma’s fingers ghosted over his toned shoulders, her chin coming to rest gently upon it, overlooking his latest masterpiece. Emma knew he could draw but she had no clue as to the extent of how well he could do it. He was good with his hands no doubt, her body just another medium, another canvas to paint on. Emma’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of his sketch of her, the rough pencil marks outlining the silhouette of her body perfectly. The portrait was utterly breathtaking…

_“Killian…”_ she sighed wistfully, tears gathering in her eyes at the beauty and majesty of the way he had captured her. _Was this what he saw when he looked at her?_ “…it’s… _beautiful_ …” she exclaimed in awe as tears shone through her eyes.

“It’s nothing compared to your beauty Emma,” he breathed, his right elbow resting against the edge of the page to keep the book in place as his other arm reached around him to hug Emma, his fingers lightly tracing the locks of her hair as they both admired his finished work of art.

“Will you show me more?” she whispered against his neck. Killian nodded his head, reaching for her hand and pulling her around the chair to sit on his knee before relinquishing his sketchbook over to her. Killian tucked the pencil back behind his ear to have free ranged motion of his arms which he used to wrap securely around Emma’s waist as she took in picture after picture of herself, Killian too afraid to look up at her as she silently judged each one.

“ _Killian…_ I have no idea what to say…” the tone of her voice dropping significantly rendering her speechless. Killian’s face fell considerably at her words. _What was she thinking? Was it creepy? Were they bad? Teenage boy drawing the same girl over and over again… of course it was creepy… What on earth must she be thinking about him…_

“They are so beautiful…” she sighed, silent tears streaking her face. “Is this how you really see me?” she asked, holding up another picture of him to look at. Killian nodded sheepishly, too stunned to answer her with words.

“Killian, I knew you could draw but I honestly had no idea…” she said her hand coming to stroke the page in front of her before turning her head to him. Killian smiled with relief at her tears, his thumb coming to wipe them away as she laughed quietly.

“I’m glad you like them,” he told her sincerely.

“Like them? Killian, I love them,” she sniffled. Killian blushed at her compliment, his face digging into her arm.

“Have you thought about making this into a career?” she drawled out, her spare hand running her fingers through his hair in a supportive manner.

“I don’t know Emma…” he said frustratingly, his head pulling away from her arm and her touch, his hand pulling at his hair, the current subject the reason for his concern throughout the school year.

“What’s holding you back?” she asked, with a slight lick of her lips, “Killian, your stuff is _really_ good…”

“Why are you so frightened?” she pressed on.

“ _Killian?”_

“Because!” he finally spoke, his voice taking on a  harsh tone making her jump slightly.

“You see where I live, how I live. The life of an artist isn’t a guaranteed career. You have a better chance at winning the lottery than making it big as an artist,” he explained, he had given it quite a lot of thought, “Emma I want a life: a future, a family… _someday…_ I won’t let them or myself live the life I’m living now supporting them on my failed dreams…” he said bitterly as if the future had already come to pass.

“How do you know if you don’t try?” she encouraged.

“I just do, alright?”

“Not good enough…” she shook her head. “Try again,” she suggested, a gleam in her eye.

“ _Emma,_ I’m being serious here. The future isn’t a joke to me…” he chided.

“I’m not joking…” she said sternly, “Take a risk because you deserve to do something with your life that makes you truly happy. I’ve seen the way you are when you’re creating something; your whole face lights up. I just don’t want you to have any regrets…” she stated simply, giving him something to think about.

“Besides, your art is _that_ good,” she tacked on for good measure with a hopeful smile.

“ _Emma…”_ he whined.

“No! No more of that. The way I see it is you have absolutely nothing to lose if you start applying to schools. You _can_ get in. _Trust me.”_

“Worse comes to worse you don’t become an artist. There are several other careers and job opportunities you can get with an art degree,” she continued, patting his other knee.

“I suppose…” he began, Emma craning her head, eager to hear what he had to say, “…you’re right…”

“So you _will_ start applying to art schools?”

“Aye,” his answer making her bounce slightly on his knee with excitement.

“What can I say, you make a compelling argument,” he relinquished. “Like you said: I have nothing to lose,” he agreed much to her jargon, a satisfied smile on her lips as she turned her body to hug him, her head resting against his shoulder, his sketch book still placed securely in her lap.

“Where do you want to apply?” she asked him with avid interest, her forehead leaning against his as she gingerly stroked his cheek. “We have some the best art schools in the country right here in New York,” she reminded him, her fingertips playing lightly with the dark dusting of hair on his face. “You know Columbia is still accepting applications. They have one of the best art programs out there,” she suggested.

“I know…” he spoke against her shoulder, “…but they are super elite.”

“I actually applied there myself. It’s always been my dream to go there,” she confessed.

“You will get in no problem,” he reassured her.

“You will too. They would be crazy not to admit you into the program…” she said with conviction, her face lifting from his neck to look him deeply in the eyes, “…and when you do… we will be there _together_ ,” she told him, a hand placed on each of his cheeks. He just hoped she was right. It sounded like a solid plan but the rest was up to him.

For the next several weeks he worked diligently applying to various art schools around New York, Columbia being his first choice in the hopes that he could join Emma there and build a fresh start with her away from their families and for the first time in his life he felt like everything was falling into place and that his dreams were well within his reach.


	18. Eighteen

Killian trudged up the stairs after a long night of work, his muscles aching, his body tired from the strain he had put on it. At least with school out for winter break he would be able to relax a bit, maybe focus on work and Emma? It seemed like work was the least of his worries when he got to the door of his apartment where there was an angry message tacked to the door reading “Eviction Notice” in big black bold print. He knew the drill. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Normally, he would pay the minimum balance on the rent that was due and everything would go back to normal, simple as that. Killian touched the paper on the door, his hand closing around it to ball it in his fist, chucking it down the stairs behind him. Killian opened the door to an empty apartment which was considerably a lot less messy without his father there, the father he hadn’t heard from in weeks, which was completely normal for him. Killian tossed his motorcycle helmet onto the couch in frustration. He needed to talk to his Dad, something he hadn’t done since their falling out over a month ago. Killian shuffled across the apartment heading into the kitchen area before pulling out a small jar of spare change from the cupboard and taking a handful to put into his pocket before leaving the apartment to walk down the street to the nearest payphone. Killian pulled the phone from the receiver, depositing the correct change and dialing his father’s work number from memory. The voice of the woman on the other end came in clear as she thanked him for calling and asked how she could help him.

“May I speak to Flynn Jones please,” he told the woman anxiously.

“I’m so sorry but Mr. Jones hasn’t been employed here for quite some time now…” the woman said causing his face to fall, his hand going to stroke the facial hair around his mouth.

“How long?” he asked, his voice cracking in fear of the answer he would undoubtedly receive.

“Sorry?” the woman asked for confirmation.

“How long!” he demanded, screaming into the phone, his voice trembling in fear of her response as hot angry tears gathered in his stormy blue eyes.

“It’s been… _months_ , sir…” he heard her say, his grip on the phone tightening under the stress of the information. Killian’s hand slammed on the top of the phone box as the tears escaped his eyes. They were more in debt then he originally thought, paying the minimum balance wouldn’t cut it this time.

“ _Thank you_ …” he whispered into the phone before hanging up, his mind in a daze, the world blurring around him as tears cascaded down his cheeks. Killian slumped against the sidewalk, his face buried in his hands as he cried. There were few things he was sure of: his father was gone and he wasn’t coming back and in 48 hours he would find himself homeless.

When Killian finally returned home he found that they were close to four months behind on rent which wouldn’t be tolerated by the building’s landlord. He was given the 48 hours to vacate but would only need an hour to gather his things: clothing, a few keepsakes and pictures, art supplies and a few of his filled sketch books which he shoved into trash bags to drop off at the garage so they wouldn’t be tossed out when they turned the place over to new residents. Killian placed what little he needed to get him by for the next few day into his messenger bag and grabbed his motorcycle helmet before taking one last look at the place he had lived for the past three years before closing the door, never to return. Killian dropped the trash bags full of clothing and such at the garage, using his spare key to get in before jotting a quick note to Robin as to why they were there in the first place, leaving them in the safety of his office. Killian slung his bag around his chest the material falling against his leather jacket before locking up the garage with his key and placing it securely back in his pocket before bending down beside him to pick up his helmet and walking back to the spot where he had parked his bike. Killian was silent and numb on his short walk back to his bike, the feeling of abandonment enveloping his senses, striking him down with every lingering step he took. Upon arriving at the parked bike he pulled his leather motorcycle gloves from his back pocket, (a gift from Robin for completing his mid-terms) and put them on his hands before tugging the helmet onto his head, strapping himself in and straddling the motorcycle to take off in the direction of Manhattan.

It was one o’clock in the morning when Killian parked his bike in the garage across the street from Emma’s building. The streets were busy for the hour but the building itself was dead inside, the only people on duty were the night doorman and a lonely security guard, both of which knew him. Killian showed himself to the elevator and took himself all the way to the penthouse.

As per usual, the place was dark and empty with the exception of the small wall lights placed underneath the pictures to give them back lighting, it was enough. The only thing that seemed different from the last time he was there was the tree in the corner of the living room, the tall fern waiting patiently to be decorated for the upcoming holiday, boxes littered the floor with countless decorations waiting to be put up. Despite the grandeur and regal appearance of the penthouse Emma lived in, it seemed almost _homey_ in this state of chaos, it looked _lived_ in compared to the flashy show room feel it normally had _._ Killian placed his motorcycle helmet on the table lying against the back of the couch and quietly made his way upstairs to Emma’s bedroom. In the dark, Killian could barely make out Emma lying on her usual side of the bed. The sound of her breathing was his only indicator that she was actually there. Killian pulled his bag from its spot across his chest setting it on the ground by the foot of the bed and toeing off his shoes before shucking his leather jacket, shirt, pants and socks leaving him in just his boxer briefs. Killian drew the covers up and slipped in beside her on the opposite side of the bed. Killian adjusted himself closer to her, her back pushed right up against his chest as he curled his body into hers, his nose buried in the scent of her hair, placing a soft gentle kiss to her golden locks, his arms coming to wrap around her, the movement stirring her from her slumber.

“ _Killian?”_ her voice was horse from sleep as she turned in his arms.

_“What are you-“_ she began only to be cut off by Killian’s silencing finger.

_“Shhh. It’s late go back to sleep,”_ he told her, _“We will talk about it in the morning…”_ Emma sighed sleepily before turning herself back around in his arms, letting the rise and fall of his chest loll her back to sleep.

KEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKE

Killian woke with the morning sun finding the spot on the bed beside him empty. Killian groaned turning his body towards the door of Emma’s bedroom to see Emma sitting on the stool by her vanity, facing him, her pink satin robe flowing open showing off her nightie made of the same material as she sipped the cup of coffee in her hands.

“What time is it?” he groaned, adjusting his eyes to the light.

“Almost 9:30. I thought I’d let you sleep in…” she said bringing the cup to her lips to take a long sip, her eye’s peeking at him from over her tipped cup, her long eyelashes fluttering.

“Coffee?” she asked, her eyes shifting in the direction of the desk where there was a spare mug sitting on top of it.

“Yes please,” he nodded, pulling his body up to lay against the cold metal of the bed frame behind him as she brought him his cup of coffee. Emma handed it off to him, Killian taking it into his hands carefully as he began to blow on the steaming cup before bringing it to his lips.

“Are you going to tell me why you came here in the middle of the night?” she questioned taking a seat at the foot of the bed, her body turned towards his, her legs hanging off the side.

“You’re angry…” he noted, the coffee warming him as it slid down his throat.

“I’m not angry. I’m just concerned…” she patted his legs over the satin comforter he was under.

“You have no reason to be,” he lied. Emma knew better, it was hard to lie to her. She had a thing with lies because she was the best liar of them all. If you lied as much as she did you begin to pick up on it. Emma shot him a knowing look, seeing easily through his seemingly carefree façade.

“Do you want to try that again?” she challenged, “the truth this time if you’d please,” Killian’s face fell at her words, failing to keep up the charade any longer.

“My father lost his job,” he confessed.

“Killian, I’m so sor-“

“Four months ago…” he elaborated making Emma blanch in his direction at his news.

“Four months ago but I thought-” she floundered about trying to make sense of the situation.

“So did I. I hadn’t the faintest idea,” Killian said trying to swallow his emotions, “that was until I came home to an eviction notice on the door.” Emma’s hand clasped over her mouth in shock and horror, her eyes closing as her raw emotions took over.

“This wasn’t the first time there’s been a notice, lass. Normally we pay the minimum balance and then pay extra every month until we’ve caught up,” he explained trying to choose his next words carefully, “I called _his_ work and that’s when they told me.”

“The man has been lying to me for the last few months!” he shouted angrily. Emma removed the hand cupping her mouth, leaning over to grab Killian’s mug from his hands to set on the end table next to the bed before falling into his arms. Emma was finally piecing the situation together: they were behind on rent with no steady income coming in, his father was nowhere to be seen and there was an eviction notice on the door. He had come to her in the middle of the night because he had nowhere else to go. Emma held him closely, tightly, tears of hurt and anger streaking down her cheeks.

“What are you going to do?” she asked sheepishly, the sound muffled by her weeping silently into his chest.

“I don’t know…” he said briskly, “all we _can_ do in times like these is live in the here and now,” he spoke rationally, showing maturity beyond his years even for someone who had to grow up as fast as he did.

“Where are you going to stay?” she asked, the tears staining her cheeks as she propped herself up on her hands against his chest, her chin resting close to his heart to look up at him with her sad eyes.

“I don’t know… Robin? Dave?” he suggested, tossing out a few names, “I’m almost eighteen, there would be no sense in putting me in the system as long as I had a proper guardian until I come of age,” he continued, his hand coming to rest in the silky strands of her hair to soothe her constant worry. The tears ceased, an idea beginning to form in her head.

“You could stay with me…” she spoke with an optimistic smile.

“Emma I don’t think your parents-“

“Are away for Christmas break on holiday,” she finished his sentence.

“You’re here _alone_ during Christmas?” his eyes sad with the revelation. Although, Killian hardly celebrated holiday’s, he couldn’t stand the thought of knowing that her family had left her by herself during Christmas. Emma nodded in response.

“I’m used to it,” she shrugged, “I’ve spent every Christmas for the last four years by myself,” a distraught smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she recalled her last lonely Christmas.

“It could be worse,” she thought aloud causing his eyebrow to rise slightly, “I could be pregnant,” she laughed nervously, the tears drying on her cheeks. Killian’s eyes went wide at the mention of even a possibility of a pregnancy, not even wanting to fathom it on top of all the things he was currently dealing with.

“I’m not!” she spat, “I was just joking,” she insisted as he released  a calming breath.

“I would love to stay here for Christmas Emma. If that is what _you_ want…” he accepted, a slight hesitation in his voice.

“Nothing would make me happier,” she smiled sweetly.

“Then I guess we are spending Christmas together,” he confirmed, smiling back at her, pulling her into a kiss. Emma giggled  against his lips as he flipped them over so that he was hovering above her.

“Does this mean I have to get you a present?” he jeered causing Emma to snort with laughter, her hand swatting playfully at his shoulder before connecting their lips again.


	19. Nineteen

Emma woke to rough calloused fingers probing against her nude skin. Emma smiled, burying her head into the crook of his neck as his fingers continued their exploration. Killian had been staying with her now for a few days. Christmas was closely creeping up on them, the holiday a mere five days away. Killian’s fingers trailed from just below her knee cap up to her inner thigh, carefully coaxing her legs apart slightly as his other hand found her breast and kneaded it gently. Emma instinctively ground her ass against his throbbing morning erection making him hiss as the touch of his hand on her breast became rougher with a burning desire.

“Spread those gorgeous legs of yours for me Emma,” he whispered darkly, his voice dripping with sensuality, his promises making her heed to his every request as she opened her legs wider to give him better access to where she needed him the most. Killian’s finger explored her outer lips of her dripping sex making Emma’s breath hitch in her throat, her mouth falling open in a silent gasp as he lightly teased her.

“So _wet_ for me _Emma…”_ he keened against the shell of her ear, taunting her as she bucked her hips closer to his fingers.

“ _So impatient…”_ he chided, his voice saturated with sin, his fingers coming to circle her swollen clit making her toss her head back against him as she mewled with pleasure, her ass rubbing up against his aching cock begging for more friction. Killian finally showed her mercy, two fingers dipping into her wet center while stimulating her clit with his thumb. Emma cried out as his fingers steadily pumped in and out of her, her inner walls clamping around his fingers as he hit that spot inside her that sent her reeling.

“ _Right there! Oh god, Killian! Right there!”_ she shouted, rewarding him for his efforts as she began to spasm around his fingers on the brink of orgasm.

_“I’m gonna come,”_ she panted her warning as she shattered against him, her body shaking her release onto his already damp fingers as he continued to work her until she finished. Killian’s lips found her neck, sucking at the sensitive flesh as she came down from her high, the suction of his lips building her up once more.

“I’m afraid I have to get ready for work now…” he announced, lifting his head from the spot on her neck to face her head on. Emma pouted, her lips puckering as he began to pull away from her. Killian rolled off of her, his feet firmly planted on the floor next to the bed, his hard cock bobbing against the skin of his abs with the motion.

“Join me in the shower?” he asked huskily, his voice thick with arousal, his eyes hooded as he leaned over her. Emma sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth, biting back a moan rising in her throat as she nodded wordlessly. Killian smirked proudly before moving around the bed and making his way towards the bathroom giving Emma a fine view of the sculpted muscles of his ass. Killian padded into the bathroom going straight to the shower, turning on the water, testing the temperature then going inside. Killian braced the palm of his hand against the smooth granite wall, his other hand molding around the shaft of his hardened cock, pumping it in his fist, the water dripping from his hair and running down his face.

The sight Emma walked into in the shower made her mouth go dry: Killian brazenly stroking himself, his back turned to her, the tan muscles of his shoulder blades as the water trickled off of his back, black tuffs of wet hair stuck to the top of his head that was thrown back in a moan of complete ecstasy as he attempted to get himself off. Emma walked into the steamy shower, the water beginning to fall over her from overhead as she pulled him roughly by the shoulder to face her before sinking down on her knees in front of him. Emma smiled crookedly up at him, removing his hand and replacing it with her own. Silky and soft replaced rough and calloused as Emma pumped him thoroughly, his hips rocking into her waiting hand. Emma pumped his throbbing erection a few more times before taking him into her mouth without warning, her cheeks hallowing out as the back of her throat hit the hilt of his rigid length, her nose pressed roughly against the nest of dark curls at the base of him. Killian’s hand flew into her hair, holding her to him as she began to suck him in earnest. Emma moaned around him, her mouth enveloping him while bobbing her head up and down on him, a string of  unintelligible curses leaving his lips mixed with her name as he steadily bucked himself into the warm cavern of her mouth, chasing his orgasm. Emma hummed around him, her own body jerking against the cool shower floor in an attempt to give her some sort of release.

“Touch yourself for me Emma…” he instructed, his voice teetering on the edge of maximum pleasure. Emma’s freehand reached for her bundle of nerves, circling her clit in time with his thrusts into her mouth.

“ _That’s a good girl…”_ he purred as Emma began to pick up the pace, the feeling of her own climax sneaking up on her once again.

“ _So close_ …” he warned, his finger gripping the hairs on her head tighter, wrapping them around his fist as his balls clenched, his body tumbling over the edge, shooting his warm and sticky release down her throat which she eagerly devoured with a pleasant moan. Once his body was sated he pulled her up by her shoulders twisting them around and shoving his fingers inside her damp entrance.

“ _Come for me Emma…”_ he growled, his wet forehead plastered to hers as he spread her with his fingers, his thumb playing a helpful tune against her aching clit to drive her closer to the edge. Killian felt her walls clench around his fingers, rubbing his thumb furiously against her clit, the unmistakable sound of her cries of competition filled the air as she came against his fingers, not letting up until she had finished riding out the waves of her orgasm. Emma slumped against his shoulder, his fingers carding through her wet locks, soothing her as she regulated her breathing, slipping back into the world around her.

“We’ve gotta stop doing this,” he chuckled as her head rose from the comfort of his shoulder.

Eventually they separated, each cleaning themselves to avoid the temptation of falling back into the same pattern, guaranteeing he would get to work on time that day.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Glad you could grace us with your presence this morning…” David jabbed with a smile from his spot underneath the hood of a car as Killian finally walked into the garage, his bag slung over his shoulder as he slumped to the break room to change for the work day.

“Hey!” Killian called over his shoulder in David’s direction.

“If I was shacked up with my hot rich girlfriend I would be late too…” David told him matter-of-factly with a proud chuckle, “Leroy brought in doughnuts; they’re in the break room,” he informed his co-worker.

“Thanks. I’m starving!” he exclaimed, bouncing his body slightly, adjusting the strap of his bag that was  slipping from his shoulder.

“Didn’t get your fill?” David asked him with a wink causing Killian to roll his eyes.

“I will have you know that my sexual appetite is quite sated, my stomach on the other hand is _not_ …” Killian said with a cocky smirk making David shake his head in a bout of casual laughter. Killian went straight to his locker and pulled on his coveralls, throwing on the backwards cap over his disheveled hair before tugging on his work boots and lacing them up. Once dressed, Killian strode to the small kitchenette in the break room where a box sat from the local bakery, inside was your typical selection: a few glazed, a few cake (to have with coffee), and chocolate frosted. Killian helped himself to a plain one, shoving it into his mouth as he moved about to pour himself a cup of coffee, the doughnut hanging from his lips the entire time. Once poured, Killian moved the doughnut into his opposite hand using the dominant one to sip his coffee carefully.

“You’re late,” Leroy said charging into the break room, hands on his hips in a commanding voice. Leroy was the garage’s second in command after its owner Robin and someone Killian worked very closely with. Mostly it was just Leroy barking orders at him; it was the only way any work got down around the garage.

“I’m sorry,” Killian offered up with a shrug, his body leaning against the counter casually enjoying his quick breakfast.

“That rich girlfriend of yours can’t afford a watch?” Leroy questioned exaggeratedly. Killian dipped his doughnut into his coffee before taking a huge bite.

“Time’s not the problem,” he said his mouth full, chewing the bite of food, “she’s been keeping me up all hours,” he finished after swallowing the doughnut in his mouth, his mouth falling into a crocked grin.

“Can’t keep her hands off you, can she?” Leroy gave a hardy chuckle.

“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” Killian told him before taking another sip of his coffee, “let me finish this and I will get straight to work,” gesturing to the cup in his hand, the doughnut in the other.

“You better…” Leroy cautioned, stomping back onto the floor. Killian laughed before downing the rest of his cup and tossing it into the trash nearby before scarfing down the rest of the doughnut. Killian clapped his hands together, rubbing his palms against each other in an attempt to remove the doughnut crumbs and following out the same direction from which Leroy had left. Killian entered the main garage floor, giving David a pat on the shoulder as he passed him on the way to the stereo and cranked the volume up on the CD of Nirvana’s greatest hits that was in the CD player. The sounds of “Heart Shaped Box” flowed freely into the garage, Killian quietly humming to the tune as he set off in the direction of his latest work project. The assignment in question was an early 2000’s red Chevy pick-up, it’s breaks needed to be replaced and it was in desperate need of new spark plugs. All in all not a terrible first job of the day.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Want to tell me why you were late this morning?” a stern voice asked, a pair of feet stopping just about as far as his vision would go underneath the undercarriage of the pick-up.

“He was being sucked off by his girlfriend,” David shouted crudely, answering the question that was not intended for him causing Killian to cringe and the rest of the workers in the garage to hoot and holler in response.

“Thanks. _Dave.”_ Killian bellowed, his voice slightly muffled from underneath the car.

“Killian, can I talk to you for a minute,” Robin told him as soon as Killian pulled himself out from underneath the car, “in my office,” he added with the raise of an authoritative brow. Killian swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head, picking himself up from off the creeper and following his boss into his office with the slam of the door behind them. Robin fell into the desk chair behind him, adjusting himself in his seat as Killian pulled up a spare chair beside him.

“Killian, I asked you to come here because I’m worried about you,” Robin said sincerely.

“There’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Killian, you can’t fool me. You just lost your home, your father…”

“That _place_ was never my _home,”_ Killian told him, slightly agitated by his assumption, his arms crossing over his chest, “and the man you’re referring to hasn’t been a father to me in years…”

“Killian, whether you want to admit it or not, you held some sort of attachment to the place and the people that lived there. It’s understandable and your more than justified to feel the way you do but I’m worried about you,” Robin attempted to get inside his head, “skipping class, coming into work late, shacking up with a girl you’ve known for four months… that isn’t you…” he continued on.

“What I’m trying to say is that the holidays can be a very depressing time for anyone let alone someone who has been through as much as you have over the last weeks. I’m just trying to make sure you are okay and making the right choices for yourself,” Robin said getting to the point.

“Killian, this girl…” he started, stumbling about for the right words to use, “…this girl has brought out a different side of you. You’re clearly not yourself right now,” he stated plainly.

“I’m _fine_ Robin,” Killian assured his father figure, “and that _girl_ has brought out the best side of me. She got me to apply to art school. I don’t see how that is a bad thing…”

“Killian, we’ve been telling you to apply to art school since summer but for some odd reason you listen to this _girl_ …”

“That _girl’s_ name is Emma and I’m in love with her. I don’t take our relationship lightly. She makes me feel… _home…”_ Robin gave him an approving smile at his words, seeing the boy he looks at like a son finally happy bringing him great joy.

“I’m _happy_ Robin. I’m _finally_ happy. She makes me _happy_ ,” Killian beamed as the words sunk in, holding all the meaning in the world.

“I _suppose_ you are,” he noted giving the boy a faint smile, “just know that you have a spot in my home when her parents return…” he reminded him.

“I know that. Thank you Robin,” Killian nodded, moving to get out of his seat and starting towards the door.

“Killian,” Robin spoke up, Killian’s head turning over his shoulder to address him.

“You’re being…” Robin blundered about, “…you’re being _safe_ , right?” Robin asked, the painfully awkward question dying on his lips.

“Aye,” Killian replied with an unmistakable nod of his head, relief flooding Robin’s features, “Robin?”

“Yeah?”

“Stick with cars; it’s what you’re good at. Sex talk? Not exactly your area of expertise,” Killian joked before turning to leave, closing the door tightly behind him.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Dave?” Killian called from underneath the car.

“What is it bud?” David acknowledged.

“What do girls… _like_?” Killian choked on his question.

“What do you mean ‘ _what do they like’_?” David asked with a sense of confusion, “shouldn’t _you_ know that by now?” he joked with a snicker making Killian roll his eyes.

“You know well that’s not what I meant!” Killian cried, his voice rising with frustration.

“I don’t know. Soap?” he thought aloud, cluelessly shrugging his shoulders.

“Soap?” Killian asked whirling himself out from underneath the car, puzzled by his reply.

“Yeah like smelly stuff. My mom likes lotions and soaps. You know… _girly_ stuff…” he explained.

“ _Girly_ stuff, right,” Killian offered a single nod trying to wrack his brain for the meaning of ‘girly stuff’ with little to no success.

“Wait, have you not gotten her a Christmas present yet?” David said flabbergasted, the pieces finally fitting together in his head, “Christmas is in five days!”

“I didn’t forget if that’s what you think!” Killian insisted, “it’s just… what do you get the girl who has _everything?”_

“I would hate to be in your shoes…” David shook his head with wild amusement.

“You are in my shoes!” Killian exclaimed, “what are you getting Mary Margaret?” he asked, the tables turning on him.

“We went on one date! A date she _set up_ and _paid for_. Do you really think she’d be expecting a gift?” David rambled trying to convince himself that his friend was wrong. Killian gave him a knowing look, as if he knew something David didn’t.

“I’m fucked!” David panicked, slapping his hand on his sweaty forehead.

“Yes, yes you are,” Killian confirmed, “unless she’s already picked out what you are going to get her…” he laughed at his friend’s expense.

“I know you’re tight on cash right now with _everything…_ so can I make a suggestion?” David spoke up catching Killian’s attention.

“What?”

“Make her something,” David recommended.

“Make her something?” Killian repeated, the wheels in his head beginning to turn at the thought.

“Yeah. You said she already had everything, so make her something she doesn’t have,” David explained.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Killian thanked him.

“I typically have a few good ideas up here,” he said tapping his head, “now if only I knew what to get Mary Margaret…”David thought, turning to Killian to seek the same kind of advice he had just given him.

“Don’t look at me! You expect me to know the inner workings of the pampered princess? Good luck, _mate_!”

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

During his late lunch break, Killian went down to the art supply store located a few blocks from the garage, closer to his previous residence and scanned the aisles waiting for inspiration to strike. Aisles upon aisles of moderate to high end art supplies filled the shelves: brushes, oils paints, plasters, canvases, and charcoal. The possibilities were endless, but still Killian had no idea what to make her especially given the five day time allotted to complete it. _Why had he waited so long?_ It was then that he stumbled upon a jar of green paint, the color and brand catching his eye immediately. It wasn’t just any jar of green paint it was the same jar of green paint that they had spilled in Emma’s dining room, the paint that brought them together. Picking up the jar, he inspected it in his hand, turning it over to see the quick drying warning on the label, he smiled, an idea beginning to form in his head.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian returned to the garage accompanied by a bag of art supplies and large canvas, setting them down on the table in the break room before going to Robin’s office for a quick chat.

“Robin, do you mind if I stay here after hours tonight?” Killian asked Robin, barging into his office unannounced causing Robin to jump up from the paper work in his hands.

“I suppose that’s alright. Got some work you need to catch up on?”

“Actually, no. I’m making a Christmas present for Emma,” he answered, an excited smile on his lips.

“A little late in the game. Don’t you think?”

“Says the man who has all his Christmas shopping finished before Halloween,” Killian chastised, “we can’t all be like you…”

“It’s alright, just lock up when you’re finished,” Robin gave him permission then swatted his hand in the air, shooing him from his office.

“Always,” Killian promised.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian was at the garage until two in the morning, four hours after closing to work on his gift to Emma. He didn’t return to Emma’s penthouse until close to four (after the cleanup) and he still had dried on green paint on his hands. It took Killian about five minutes for him to cross the threshold into Emma’s apartment, the same dark atmosphere awaited him with the exception of the small lights back lighting the expensive art on the walls. _They must be on some sort of timer_ , he thought. Killian placed his helmet in its usual spot before quietly making his way upstairs into Emma’s bedroom. Emma was piled underneath the covers from the waist down, her erect nipples standing at attention against the chill in the air. Killian came up beside her sleeping form, bending down to kiss her hair, his fingers running through it gently as she slept. Killian picked himself up, his fingers grasping the covers to pull over her body before moving towards the bathroom, shedding his clothes on the way to bathe the paint, sweat and grease from his body. Killian scrubbed the paint from his hands furiously as the water sprayed down from above, steam filling the bathroom that led out to the bedroom, the light seeping through the crack against the door that stood slightly ajar.

Emma woke to the sound of running water, glancing over at her IPhone beside her the time read 4:20am. It was either really _early_ or really _late_ but for which Emma was unsure. Emma rubbed the sleep from her eyes, gathering the sheets around her and giving them a gentle tug to release them from the bed’s hold before quietly slipping out and padding through her room to the bathroom. The steam radiating from the shower enveloped the exposed skin that wasn’t covered by the sheet she donned, quickly heating her body, warming her instantly. Emma crept up to the shower barely able to make out the shadowy figure inside, the steam far too thick. A string of curses left Killian’s lips followed by the distinct sound of the wet plop of a wash cloth hitting the shower floor.

“ _Killian?”_ Emma’s hoarse voice called out to him.

“Emma?” Killian responded, “what are you doing up love?” Killian practically yelled over the running water. Emma slipped the sheets from her body, opened the shower door and climbed inside, unannounced much to Killian’s surprise.

“What are you doing?” he shrieked, turning his body to face hers as the water trickled onto their nude bodies. Emma said nothing as she stepped forward wrapping her arms around him and tucking her body into his.

“Emma, you alright love?” he asked as he caressed the wet locks at the back of her head.

“Just missed you is all…” she said nuzzling into the crook between his shoulder and neck.

“I missed you too Emma but what are you doing awake?” he questioned, pulling away from her to look her in the eyes, she looked dreadfully tired like she hadn’t truly slept a wink with the exception of the few minutes she got in before he arrived.

“I’m sorry… I was working late. I didn’t expect you to stay up and wait for me… I should have called…” he began mumbling.

“No, it’s alright. I was just worried when you didn’t come home. Did you just get in?” she asked sheepishly, her body still very much in sleep mode, the water in the shower slowly beginning to wake her.

“Aye,” he confirmed with a nod.

“What, why-“ the words dying on her lips as she took in the green stains on his fingers. Emma pulled him up by the wrist bringing his hand level with her eyes to inspect it.

“Killian, what is this?” she demanded in reference to the green paint.

“That’s why I had to stay late…” he began to fumble around for a cover story wanting her gift to be a surprise for her when they woke Christmas morning, “…there was an accident at the garage today where we made a huge dent in the paint on this car and I needed to stay late to fix it… I’m really sorry…”

“Stop apologizing, I’m just happy your home and _safe,”_ she whispered to him, her head lolling back onto his shoulder, her eyes closing under the warm soothing spray.

“Come, love. Let’s get you back into bed…” he suggested, reaching behind him to turn off the faucet with Emma still trapped on his shoulder, a careful arm around her to keep her from falling. Killian shut off the water as the last drops of water came down from above as he stepped out of the shower ahead of her, grabbing a towel and wrapping it securely around his waist as he held another up for Emma to step into. Once nestled into the towel, Killian put an arm around her waist the other hoisting her into his arms by her bottom, a hand supporting underneath her knees, as she snuggled against his chest. Killian walked them into the bedroom, his arms gently releasing his hold around her to set her down against the cool sheets and pulled the comforter over her body. Killian placed a kiss against her wet hair before drying himself off, slipping on a pair of sweat pants and crawling into the bed beside her to cradle her body against his. Emma snuggled herself up against him, her body in search of the heat radiating off his. Killian shushed her quietly, gently rocking her body to sleep before he too succumbed to his own slumber.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

It was the night before Christmas and Emma and Killian found themselves in the living room, the lights off with the exception of the fire in the hearth and the twinkle of the white lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. Emma’s head settled onto his lap as Killian stroked her hair with the hand that wasn’t holding a mug full of hot chocolate. Apparently it was Emma’s favorite, hers sitting on the coffee table in front of them with the addition of a heavy dose of peppermint schnapps topped off with a generous dollop of whipped cream and garnished with a bit of fresh cinnamon. Just the way she liked it.

Earlier in the day when the opportunity presented itself in the form of Emma stepping out for some last minute Christmas shopping. Killian called David up and gave him the green light to put their plan in motion. David hurried himself over to the island of Manhattan to drop off Killian’s Christmas present, unable to bring it over himself on his motorcycle, which he then stored in the coat closet which was rarely ever used by Emma regardless of the weather, opting to keep her clothing together in her own closet. They sat quietly like that for a time, music from a station that only played instrumental versions of the best Christmas songs without the distraction of all the bells and whistles that came with holiday music playing softly in the background.

“How is this year’s Christmas different from your last?” Killian asked, making conversation as he carded his fingers into her long golden locks.

“Well for one I’m not nearly six months pregnant…” her hand instinctively going to rest on her flat stomach, as she thought of the last Christmas solemnly.

“I’m sorry lass…” he apologized sincerely as his hand moved from her hair and placed his delicately atop of hers, snuggling her body more closely to his as a single tear escaped her eye at the memory.

“This Christmas is already a hundred times better than the last. Thank you for giving that to me Killian…” she spoke softly, her arms cradled into her body.

“Merry Christmas, Emma,” he told her bending down to place a kiss to her hair.

“Merry Christmas, Killian,” she repeated back to him before closing her eyes.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian and Emma both woke up bright and early Christmas morning to find themselves in each other’s arms on the sofa in the living room, the fire long since died out in the fireplace, the light coming in strong from the floor to ceiling windows. Killian groaned from his spot on the couch, his hands immediately going to his eyes to shield them from the bright morning light.

“Coffee?” Emma asked him

“Yes,” he nodded furiously, his hands, palms down on his face jarring himself awake. Emma crawled off Killian and slid across the floor towards the kitchen to busy herself making coffee for them both. Killian walked over to the speaker that was still wafting out cheerful Christmas melodies and shut it off before joining Emma in the kitchen.

“Merry Christmas,” he greeted her, wrapping his arms around her, his hand moving the curtain of blonde hair blocking him from her neck and placing a gentle kiss there. Emma’s hand went around his neck pulling him closer to her, as her fingers played lightly with the dark hair there, a sweet smile gracing her lips as the sound of the coffee brewing filled the room.

“Mhm. Merry Christmas…” she hummed in happy bliss. It was the first Christmas in years that she hadn’t spent alone. Having company was a very welcomed change but having the person joining her be a man who loved her with all his heart was the icing on top of the cake.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, his lips against her neck.

“What did you have in mind?” she questioned.

“Eggs and toast?” he shrugged, “It’s kind of all I can make… that and canned soups. I’ve mastered the art of canned soup…” he told her sending her into a fit of giggles before turning in his arms, hers going around his neck as she stood up on her tip toes.

“Sounds perfect…” she nuzzled her nose against his, pulling away and moving towards the fridge to take out the eggs and a bowl of fresh fruit, “what are we going to do for dinner if neither of us can cook?” she thought aloud, her words giving him pause.

“It will be an adventure…” he smiled a promising smile as Emma began looking through the cabinets in search for a jar of nutella to add to their breakfast spread while Killian fished out a frying pan and bowl, starting to crack the eggs in it and whisk them, scrambling them adding a pinch of salt and pepper to them before pouring the mixture into the warm pan to begin cooking them. Emma pulled out a loaf of bread from the bread box on the counter, placing a slice in every opening of the four slice toaster and pressed the button down to toast them. The feeling of making breakfast with this man was oddly domestic but she found she enjoyed it. Emma walked two mugs over to the coffee maker to pour the contents in each glass, giving them each a bit of milk and sugar for taste and handing Killian’s to him as he took a spatula to the eggs. Killian sipped carefully from his mug, the warm liquid running down his throat awakening his senses and mind, his hand moving the spatula about the pan to finish the eggs off.

Once breakfast was ready, Killian dished out the eggs on two plates, handing one to Emma and claiming the other for himself before sitting down at the bar as Emma slid two pieces of toast onto each plate, the bowl of fresh fruit and nutella sitting between them as they devoured the food in front of them.

“You really weren’t lying when you said you couldn’t cook,” Emma giggled, chewing on the rubbery eggs, her fork prodding the rest of the eggs on her plate.

“I said I knew how to cook them, I didn’t say they would be good!” Killian said in his defense, “but they _are_ edible…” he added with a cocky smirk.

“How hard it is it to make eggs? Honestly!” she grinned teasingly.

“Says the woman who burnt three out of four pieces of bread! I don’t even know how that’s possible…” he commented with the shake of his head trying to fathom the notion. _They were all cooked at the same time…_

“See? Talent!” she exclaimed earning her a mischievous elbow nudge from her partner in response. Emma laughed, spooning out nutella from the jar and onto a piece of toast (the only non-burnt piece) and topping it with some fruit before shoving it into her mouth with a groan.

“This is sooo good…” she moaned with her mouth full of food just to tease him. Killian shook his head in amusement before lifting the fork full of eggs and shoving them in his mouth, chewing in earnest with a mocking smile and washing it down with another sip of his coffee.

“Thank god, there’s hope for you still lass. You make a mean cup of coffee,” he complimented, setting the cup back down on the counter with a thud.

“Why thank you,” she said, keeping up their playful banter.

After they had finished eating Emma asked, “shower or presents first?” her napkin dabbing at her mouth.

“It’s your call lass…” he told her.

“I can’t wait any longer!” she said excitedly, dragging her with him to the gifts underneath the tree, most of them there for when her parents came back from the Alps.

“Sit,” she instructed, her hands against his shoulders shoving him down onto the couch while she scurried over to the tree to grab the gift she had placed underneath the tree for him. Emma came back to him with a silver package, placing it into his lap, taking the seat next to him.

“Well, go on… open it,” she encouraged with a nod of her head, the excitement reddening her cheeks. Nimble fingers worked to pry open the wrapping paper, lifting the lid of the box, his hands moving the tissue paper inside to reveal its contents.

“I knitted it myself. Do you like it?” she squirmed in her seat for some sign that he liked it. Killian’s jaw dropped significantly. Inside the box was a beautiful black knit scarf. It was something that she probably had spent hours knitting just for him…

“You hate it…” she frowned in disappointment.

“Lass, I’m at a loss for words… _you_ made this for me?” the sentiment tugging at his heart. Emma nodded her head, “no one has ever made me something like this before…” he said in awe, his fingers caressing the knit material of the scarf in his hands.

“You like it?” she asked, hopeful.

“I love it, I absolutely love it. The best part is that you made it yourself. I hadn’t any idea you could knit…”

“I _can,”_ she stated proudly, “I’m working on a beanie to match. It will be done just in time for your birthday…” she explained giving his knee a slight tap.

“I don’t know how my gift could possibly top this…” he said, his confidence faltering a bit.

“I’m sure it’s great…” Emma said encouragingly. Killian placed the box delicately next to his spot on the couch and went to retrieve his gift that had been stored in the coat closet as of early afternoon yesterday.

“Close your eyes,” he required, his hands reaching into the depths of the closet before pulling out the heavy canvas. Emma did as she was told as Killian gripped the edges and brought it over to her, placing it gently into her lap. Emma’s excited smile faltered a bit at the weight of the object, no doubt searching her mind as to what it was.

“Okay, you can open them,” he permitted. Emma eye’s opened, falling upon the painting in her lap. Emma’s face fell in complete awe as she gazed upon the portrait, tears stinging her eyes. The picture was of her sleeping form from the waist up, strong hands coming over her torso to hold her from behind outlined in a fine thin black ink with green accents that looked to be placed there by his fingers instead of a brush, the same color green that adorned the ground beneath the carpet in the dining room.

“ _Killian…_ it’s _beautiful…”_ she stared in wonder.

“I’m glad you like it. I was worried that it wouldn’t be enough because you’re worth so much _more_ …” he swallowed.

“Killian, it means more coming from you. It wasn’t bought at some department store. It was made by _you_ for _me_. If I wanted something I could just go out and get it myself but something like this… it can’t be bought…” she said moving to wrap her arm around his neck, pulling herself closer to him, “I will cherish this for the rest of my life…” she vowed, placing her lips against his neck.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

After exchanging gifts the pair showered together like they always did but having nowhere to go for the day the spent the entirety of it in bed ravishing  one another only stopping to break for their version of Christmas dinner which consisted of a can of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches which of course ended up slightly crispy but still edible. The theme stayed the same even during their meal opting out of clothing and only wearing their pajamas or lack thereof. Killian wore his sweats, hanging low on his hips baring his chest hair and Emma just had on her silky pink robe tied tightly around her waist. After, they went upstairs to take a quick nap they woke around 9:00 to snow falling outside, blanketing the street below. A white Christmas…

Killian and Emma walked down the stairs into the living area, their faces pressed against the glass to watch the snow flurries fly in the dark night sky. Killian stood behind her, a hand fingering her waist as she stood in front of him, her head resting against his shoulder as the fingertips on his opposite hand raked against the soft skin of her leg well up into her thigh. Emma bit back a strangled moan as Killian’s lips found their way to her neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin there. Killian continued his exploration of her supple skin, his probing fingers dipping underneath her silk robe and underneath her panties to touch the heated wet skin that lie beneath. Emma’s mouth fell open at the intrusion, his finger instantly finding her aching clit and working it over with his thumb as her body was braced against him, his spare hand plunging into the neck line of her robe to cup her breast, that too receiving equal attention from his thumb as he twirled a pink nipple with his finger.

_“Killian…”_ she whined, wriggling in his grasp. Killian smirked against the skin of her neck at the sounds he coaxed from her body, the power he held over her making his own body sing with lust. Killian subtly bucked his hardened member against her ass in search of some sort of friction, finding none he released his hands from her breast and clit, his hands tearing at the belt that held her robe to her and throwing it open before slipping the material from her shoulders, turning her in his arms to face him and pushing her body up against the freezing glass of the window behind them. Emma gasped loudly at the cold glass against her bare back, sending shivers against her overly heated skin, the delicious contrast in temperature making her keen against him.

Killian’s mouth attached onto her breast, suckling, her hands threading her fingers through his dark locks, holding him closer against her, his other hand teasing the other, working the nipple into a hardened peak. He repeated his actions with the opposite breasts then kneeled down in front of her, his eyes level with her covered sex, a damp patch visible from the outside, hooking his fingers into the sides, he carefully slid them down her legs, freeing her completely. Killian’s nose nestled against her dampness, inhaling her glorious scent before his tongue darted out to taste her, her hips rocking against his eager mouth as he sampled the unique taste that was just her. Killian greedily lapped at her dripping wet folds slowly, teasing her, the hold on his hair tightening in her grasp, yearning for more. Killian sucked her clit into his mouth without warning, using his teeth to nibble at her swollen nub, the heat steadily rising in her body about to boil over as she tumbled closer to the edge. Killian was relentless against her, his lips pressed deeply against her, his tongue fucking into her without remorse with long languid strokes.

Emma’s eyes clamped shut under the assault of his mouth, barely able to keep herself upright if not for the glass behind her. She was almost there, just teetering on her climax. Emma’s fingers fisted into his hair, holding on for dear life as she came with a moan against his mouth, Killian savoring the sweet nectar that flowed freely from her as she fell apart against his lips. Emma slumped against the window behind her, the cold glass a reprieve from the heat coursing through her body as she recovered from her mind blowing orgasm. Killian stood, slowly rising to his feet in front of her as he shed his sweats, his hard length springing free baring him to her shamelessly. Emma released a long jagged breath, she realized she had been holding in at the sight of him, his cock bobbing against the skin of his well chiseled stomach making her legs clench. Emma snaked her arm around his neck, pulling him against her lips for a heated kiss, her breasts deliciously scraping against his sweaty silky dark chest hair. Killian hitched her leg up across his lower back pressing himself against her warm heat, his mouth collecting the moans leaving her lips at the sensation. Killian’s other hand fell against the glass for purchase, the New York City skyline collecting with snow setting the backdrop for their hot tryst. Emma forced her eyes open, their lips pulling apart as she panted taking in his darkened deep blue eyes clouded with lust framed by dark lashes boring into hers, burning her with just a look.

_“Fuck me Killian…”_ she whispered in a needy moan.

“As you wish…” he agreed with a nod of his head before thrusting the tip of himself inside of her, his cock a welcomed intrusion as her walls enveloped him inch by glorious inch until he was seated to the hilt within her. Emma’s head tipped against the glass with a thump, his cock making her feel so refreshingly full. Killian groaned at the feeling of the wet walls of her sex gripping him, quickly losing himself in the feeling of being buried deep inside of her. Emma whimpered when he didn’t start moving right away, the sound reaching his ears spurring him on as he pulled himself out just to thrust back in her again, taking her roughly against the glass that anybody with a descent telescope could probably look in on, the thought didn’t bother him in the least. Emma’s hips rutted desperately against his as he fucked into her at a bruising pace that made her cry out with pleasure. Killian claimed her again and again and again, his name falling on her lips like a prayer, shuddering against him with her impending climax.

Emma connected their lips once again, their mouths slamming together hungrily, swept up in the pleasure of their thrusting bodies. Emma’s hands fell to his backside, her fingertips digging into the toned flesh of his ass, moving against him more forcefully pushing her over the edge as she came around him with a silent scream. Killian’s thrusts grew lazy, his hips uncertain when her walls clenched around him, gripping him tightly, milking his own release from him as he spilled himself inside of her. Killian’s sweaty forehead pressed against hers, his seed emptying inside her welcoming body, his movements sloppy as he rode out the force of his intense orgasm. Killian faltered a bit, sliding himself out from her depths with a hiss, his sated body slumping against hers with achy muscles. Killian cradled his body against hers pulling them from the window and onto the plush living room carpet to recover from their latest dalliance. Emma crawled over to his heaving body, her arms snaking around his waist as she rested her body against his, her head placed gently against his chest, his fingers running through her sweaty tresses.

“Merry Christmas Emma,” Killian whispered into her hair making Emma smile with pure happiness as she nuzzled herself closer into the safety of his body. This Christmas may have just been enough to erase holidays past and it was all because of _him_ …


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains attempted sexual assault and drug and alcohol abuse. Please heed the warning.

“Honey I’m home!” Killian teased in a sing-song manner, stepping off the elevator in the early afternoon hours of New Year’s Eve. Killian swept through the apartment throwing his helmet onto the couch with a slight bounce and making his way into the kitchen where he found Emma, her feet propped up on a number of stools at the bar reading the January issue of Vogue magazine. She hadn’t looked like she had even made an attempt to get ready for the day, still wearing his dark blue button up she stole from him in the early morning hours. Killian inwardly groaned at the sight of his shirt brushing against the skin of her smooth creamy thighs wondering if she had even bothered to wear any undergarments underneath. Killian shrugged off his leather jacket and unwound the scarf from his neck shoving it onto an empty chair beside her.

“Hey,” she greeted him with a smile, looking up over her magazine at him. “How was work?” she asked him giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before he took off into the rest of the kitchen, scrounging and poured around for something to eat and placing his bag on the counter top.

“Good,” he offered going straight to the breadbox to pull out the remaining slices of bread and fetching peanut butter from the cabinet to spread over it quickly, nearly setting a new world record before devouring it with a groan of appreciation.

“Someone was hungry…” she commented flipping through her magazine.

“I was starving! Leroy worked me to the bone today!” he told her, his mouth full of food making Emma giggle slightly.

“And he didn’t give you a break?” she questioned, continuing to leaf through her Vogue.

“No. It was a half day so no lunch breaks…” he explained with a shrug, finishing off his bread with peanut butter.

“You should unionize…” she suggested with a laugh making him roll his eyes as he retrieved a jug of milk from the fridge himself a glass to chase down the sticky peanut butter he had just consumed.

“And what did you do today love?” he breathed heavily after downing his glass of milk, leaning against the counter top behind him.

“You know the usual…” she said, not bothering to offer up any of the boring minor details, “I did get invited to a party for tonight,” she paused for a brief moment, “well, _we_ got invited to a party tonight…” she amended. Killian’s eyebrow shot up in question.

“ _Another_ party?” he groaned like a child.

“I don’t know why you are complaining. You’ve only ever been to _one_ …” she recalled.

“And look how well that one turned out…” he countered.

“It will be fun,” Emma assured him.

“ _Fine,_ but I’m not going to like it…” he told her with conviction.

“Whatever you say…” she smiled shaking her head. Killian picked himself up from his spot against the counter and strode past Emma making his way upstairs.

“By the way I want my shirt back…” he called over his shoulder, halfway to the stairs. He moved to continue in the direction he was headed when something soft hit the back of his head and fell to the ground beside him. The dark blue fabric was unmistakable; it was his shirt. Killian turned around slowly, his mouth going dry at the sight of Emma standing between him and her previously occupied spot at the breakfast bar completely devoid of any and all clothing.

“ _Bloody minx!”_ he cursed under his breath. “I didn’t mean now!” he growled stomping over to her lithe nude body, taking her in, her blonde curls covering up the tantalizing mounds of her breasts. Killian swept the hair back slowly from each breast before capturing both, one in each greedy palm of his hand, his lips coming to suck at the smooth sensitive skin of her neck. Emma’s fingers wound themselves in his dark locks, clawing to hold his lips against her neck, the sensations making her toss her head back in a throaty moan.

_“Killian…”_ she keened against him, bucking her hips against his in earnest, her body straining against his with impatience. Killian smirked against her neck, giving no warning when he moved his hands behind her legs on the backs of her thighs to lift her up off the ground and into his arms. Emma let out a sharp gasp of surprise at his actions, walking them towards the direction of the refrigerator. Emma’s bare back slammed against the cold metal of the fridge, the cold a hard contrast from the warmth of her skin that was on fire, ignited by his touch. Killian trapped her with his body, a steady hand placed at her hip to keep her from falling so he could rid himself of his shirt, tossing it behind him before working at the fastenings of his pants.

Emma’s lips tilted into his neck, kissing then sucking at the skin eliciting a series of groans from him, from passion to frustration at her distracting mouth. Killian’s hand shot out to pull her head back, forcing it against the fridge to cease her actions. Once his pants were undone he pushed them and his boxer briefs down his hips, the fabric pooling at his feet as he widened his stance in front of her, her legs firmly wrapped around his lower back. Killian growled, Emma’s eyes widening at the sound, it was primal and challenging. She had clearly started a war she hadn’t intended to finish and he was certainly going to let her have it. Emma whimpered, her lower lip jutting out in a pout when she caught sight of just how dark his pupils were, completely dilated with lust, his hunger for her terribly apparent.

_“Emma… Emma… Emma…”_ he chided, his head shaking back and forth every time her name left his lips. “Fair warning love, this is going to be very rough. I’m going to take you hard and fast and when you come you are going to scream my name, alright?” he glared possessively, his thumb caressing her lower lip as he warned her, her thighs clenching at the words of his dark promise. Emma nodded slightly, her eyes slamming shut at the power of her agreement.

Killian gave no warning when he thrust inside of her, burying himself in her in one swift and easy movement making Emma gasp in pleasure, the feeling of his huge weeping cock spreading her to her limits, feeling so deliriously full. Killian pushed in out of her relentlessly, his hard shaft gliding easily against her dripping walls, her nails digging into his back leaving deep angry red crescent shapes into his skin as she fought to hold on to him. Killian reached around, grabbing her wrists, throwing them up above her head, grasping them as he continued to hammer into her, her head hitting the back of the fridge repeatedly. Killian grunted with the force of his thrusts, pushing himself up inside her so she could feel all of him. He was relentless and bruising in his pace, the building pressure simmering low in Emma’s belly about to boil over. Emma keened loudly, her body shaking with the beginning of her orgasm, his name tearing from her lips. His name was enough to push him over the edge, cursing as he spurted his release into her, marking her as his. Killian slumped against her, covering her with his heaving body.

“You are never wearing my clothes again…” he panted against her sweaty skin.

“If you say so…” she laughed.

“Don’t twist my words. By all means wear clothing just don’t wear _mine_ …” he corrected.

“You’re no fun…” she pouted.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian and Emma separated, going upstairs and getting ready for the party that evening. Killian showered, wiping away the sweat, grease, grime and other unmentionables from his body; Emma ridding herself of sweat and sex, both of them dressing for that evenings events.

Killian wore his signature black jeans held together with his black belt, his white button up shirt and leather jacket. Emma opted to wear a bright red body hugging skirt that rested a few inches above her knees, a blue sleeveless top that finished just below her waist line, sticking out against her long blonde curls and her signature designer pumps.

Emma and Killian opted to take the limo as opposed to the bike for the occasion, knowing there was absolutely no chance in hell at finding a parking space in Manhattan on New Year’s Eve.

Upon arriving, Killian and Emma waltzed into the club past the bouncer and the millions of people lined up outside waiting patiently to get inside. Everywhere Emma went they knew her name; rules didn’t apply to her. Heck, laws didn’t apply to her. She could just do as she pleased and no one would be any wiser. The notion still shocked Killian to no end. They came out on the upper level of the dark club, standing on the balcony overlooking the hordes of people dancing and grinding up against each other to the pulsing beat of the dub-step music that rocked his entire body straight to its core. He had never seen anything quite like it. The sweaty bodies, the music, the lights… He was entirely out of his element and completely mesmerized by the scene in front of him. Emma turned to face him as he looked on, Emma grinning from ear to ear at his child-like awestruck expression. Killian got caught up in the music, his head nodding along to the beat.

“Come on!” she yelled over the noise with a smile, grabbing his hand, throwing it over her shoulder to lead him down the metal staircase and out onto the dance floor. They weaved in and out of the dancing couples and groups of people enjoying themselves, Killian feeling the heavy bass against his feet, rushing through his entire being, the flashing lights blaring down on him making his face grow hot, the heat rising in his cheeks and flushing his face. He could barely see two steps in front of him if not for Emma’s guiding hand. It was an experience. Everywhere people were losing themselves to the pulsing beat of the music, the heavy thumping of the bass ringing in their ears. Killian halted to an immediate stop against Emma’s back, seemingly finding a decent enough spot on the dance floor, Emma turning to face him.

“What do you think?” she yelled into his ear over the music.

“It’s incredible lass!” he replied against her ear making her smile in response, the thrill of being here in this environment shooting shivers up his spine in excitement.

“I know you can dance but can you move?” she challenged with a quirk of her eyebrow, her finger beckoning him closer, wiggling her hips to the beat, her hand caressing a clothed breast. _Irresistible._ Killian’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, his head tilting as he watched the tantalizing moves she made with her hips. Killian took a few small steps closer to her, closing the remaining space between them, his right hand closing in around her hip to pull her flush against him. Emma could feel every glorious inch of him pressed against her as he began to grind his hips into hers to the beat. From afar it probably looked like a scene straight out of _Dirty Dancing_. Emma’s hands wound themselves around his neck, her body crushing against his, his dark hooded eyes boring into hers with every thrust of his hips against hers, sending lust straight to her core, her panties soaking with the proof of her arousal. Killian pulled her hips against his, slamming her against him to the hypnotizing rhythm, Emma moaning at the feeling, completely lost in the senses her mind and body were creating. It was a complete out of body experience.

The DJ transitioned into another pulsing dub-step beat, Killian and Emma too lost in themselves to even notice. Emma turned in his hold, pressing her ass into his erection, Killian throwing his head back in a throaty moan at the contact. Emma threw her head back against his shoulder, her hand threading into the hairs at the back of his neck as she rubbed herself against him. It was intimate. _Too_ intimate. Killian’s hands tightened at her hips, rolling his harness against her ass, Emma’s eyes clamping shut at the erotic motion. One hand left her hip, his fingernails raking against the exposed skin just above her knee, his other hand moving up to cup her clothed breast. His hand discreetly slipped underneath the material of her body hugging skirt, his fingers dipping into her panties, moving the fabric aside to touch her scorching heat, spreading the gathering moisture of her wetness with his thumb against her clit. Emma bucked her hips wildly against his in response making her cry out. Killian’s hand traveled north, pressing a finger against her lips to quiet her.

“ _Shhh…”_ he chided, his lips pressing against her ear making Emma writhe against him with pleasure. Killian coaxed her to move her head underneath his chin, his lips seeking out the velvety sensitive skin of her neck. Killian mouthed at her neck, his teeth closing around a particularly fleshy part and sucking it into his mouth, his fingers still furiously moving against her aching clit. Her body was on fire with his touch, his fingers gliding against her wet folds before slipping into her depths, two fingers sloppily pumping in and out of her along with the attentions at her clit. That was all it took and she was falling apart around his fingers, soaking them with her juices.

“That enough _moves_ for you Swan?” he said teasingly against her ear with a light hearted chuckle. Emma turned in his arms, swatting him playfully on his shoulder, giving him an unamused look. Killian pulled her further into his arms, stumbling around slightly, laughing.

They continued like that for the majority of the night until Killian excused himself to go to the bathroom, Emma telling him she would meet him at the bar to get drinks when he was finished.

“Can I get a bottle of water?” she asked the man behind the bar, her hand fanning her burning cheeks as she waited. Emma drummed her fingernails against the counter top, the gentleman behind the counter handing her the water in exchange for a crisp dollar bill. Emma unscrewed the cap, downing the contents in one easy gulp, her thirst finally quenched when a body hugged her from behind. Emma leaned into his touch, sighing softly.

“That was fast…” she noted, with a giggle. Emma turned around expecting Killian but was surprised when she found herself in the arms of another. “Neal…” she mouthed, attempting to pull back from him only for him to tighten his grasp around her waist, thrusting her forward into his arms against her wishes, his face a mask of cruel amusement.

“Nah ah ah, not so fast…” he told her as she struggled in his grasp. “Come on Em, don’t be like that…” he laughed, Emma clawing at his fingers to detach herself from him. Neal turned her around, facing away from him, Emma cowering in fear as he pushed her towards a dark secluded corner of the club. “Stop…” he shushed her, feeling his slimy hot breath against her ear making her cringe in disgust. Neal shoved her up against the wall, trapping her much smaller body with his larger one, throwing a hand up against the side of her face, leaning into her.

“What do you want Neal…” her voice barely above a whisper, her body trembling.

“Em, don’t be scared… there’s no reason to fear me. You know me…” he tried to calm her down, his hand jutting out to touch her face, Emma stepping back closer to the wall to get some distance from him.

“Don’t touch me…” she stammered, bracing herself against the wall.

“ _Em…”_ he said, his hot breath hitting her face, smelling the distinct scent of alcohol with undertones of marijuana. Not only was he as high as a kite, he had been drinking. It was a dangerous combination and he was clearly not thinking with his head anymore. She needed to get out of there.

“Leave me alone Neal…” she said a little more forcefully this time.

“I just want to talk to you,” he slurred slightly, pointing a finger in her direct line of vision. “I miss you Em… Seeing the two of you together… it makes me _sick…”_ he began, getting right up into her face, Emma down turning her eyes in an attempt to not make eye contact with him. “I want you back Em…”

“ _Please…”_ her hand pressing against his chest to keep him away. “Neal you’re not in the right state of mind right now… Please, don’t do something you’re going to regret…” she tried to reason with him.

“ _No…”_ he refused, shaking his head. “You’re _mine_...” he snapped making her jump, his hand slithering up underneath her shirt to touch her breast. “Don’t lie to me and say you don’t want me… want _this…”_ he whispered, his lips going to the skin of her neck.

“Stop…” she cried, trying to shove him off of her. “S _top_ …” she said; pushing, clawing, fighting; anything to get him off of her.

“Do you pretend it’s me when he kisses you?” he insinuated, his tongue darting out to lick a long stripe against her neck, the bile rising in her throat. “When he touches you, do you find yourself wishing it was me instead?” he asked gruffly, his hand moving its was up her skirt, grinning against her neck. “When you come, do you scream my name?” he grunted lowly, his fingers dipping underneath the fabric of her panties.

“Stop!” she screamed, tears brimming in her eyes, catching the attention of a few nearby patrons. Neal turned his head, looking around, thinking it better to quit while he was ahead.

“This isn’t over Emma…” he threatened, wriggling his finger at her before stomping away, leaving her there panting, the tears falling from her eyes, staining her cheeks. Emma ran through the crowd, seeking the ladies room on the other side of the dance floor, far from the men’s. Emma threw the door open to the single bathroom, turning the lock and sinking down slowly onto the floor, her back against the door. Emma pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly as she wept.

Emma took a few minutes to pull herself together. She slumped to the sink, splashing some cold water onto her face before digging into her handbag for the thin bottle of pills she kept there. Pouring a couple into her hand, she put her palm to her mouth and sucked them back, dry swallowing it with heavy gulp. The pain was better. Not by much but it was better. Emma gave her reflection a tight lipped smile, deeming herself appropriate enough to make her reappearance and exited the bathroom.

Emma shoved her bag higher up on her shoulder making her back through the crowd and to the bar where hopefully Killian would be there waiting for her. When she finally reached the bar Killian was nowhere in sight. Emma slapped a twenty on the counter, beckoning the bartender and asking for a shot of whiskey. A moment later the bartender shoved the drink towards her, Emma downing its contents in one take.

“Anything else?” the bartender asked, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

“Yeah. Jack and coke,” she told the man. “Make it a double.” Emma turned around, leaning against the counter top, constantly on the search for Killian. Her eyes lit up when she finally saw him, trucking through the crowd towards her.

“Sorry, the line at the men’s room was ridiculous,” he said when he finally reached her. “Were you waiting long?”

“No,” she put on a fabricated smile.

“Good,” he leaned in, pulling her closer to him to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“ _Miss,_ your drink…” the sound of the bartender’s voice breaking them apart. Emma silently thanked the man, retrieving her glass from the counter top and chugging its contents.

“Whoa, slow down there,” Killian laughed, standing behind Emma, a careful hand out to make sure she didn’t lean too far back. Emma slammed her empty glass onto the counter, her body tipping backward towards Killian, giggling manically. Her head swimming with the consumtion of booze and pills.

“You alright there?” he smiled down at her.

“Couldn’t be better…” she laughed it off. “Let’s dance…” she whisper huskily, her fingers trailing along his shoulder as she walked back out on to the dance floor, not even bothering to wait for him to follow.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian had been abandoned by Emma quite some time ago, dismissing herself to get another drink. Killian hadn’t thought anything of it until minutes ticked by, at this point she had been gone half an hour and he was starting to get worried. Killian headed towards the bar, searching the vicinity for her but she was nowhere to be seen. He should have gone with her, he shouldn’t have let her out of his sight. Killian scanned the darkened club for his love, his eyes panning upwards to the scaffold above were there were a few tables and couches. Killian charged up the stairs, walking the perimeter for Emma until Killian stopped at a couple that looked to be hot and heavy in an intense make out session. Upon further inspection he noticed Emma. Killian didn’t think, just reacted, pulling the man taking advantage of his Emma and shoving him against the railing, his body leaning over the side.

“What the fuck!” Killian screamed at him, tugging at the collar of the man’s shirt, the man’s eyes wide with panic and fear. “She’s seventeen! What the hell is your problem?” He shook the man, breathing heavily against his face, scowling with raw anger.

“I didn’t know!” the man told him, holding up his hands in surrender.

“You enjoy taking advantage of innocent women? You sicken me!” Killian growled, releasing the man from his grasp, the man cowering against the ledge. “Get out of here!” he shrieked, pointing towards the landing next to the staircase. The man scrambled onto his feet, running as fast  and as far as he could away from Killian. Killian fell into the seat beside Emma, her lithe unconscious body slumped against the seat, her skirt shoved up slightly. Killian’s fists clenched at the sight, the anger once again bubbling up inside him. Killian lightly tapped Emma’s cheek with the palm of his hand, resulting to shaking her when she wasn’t roused by his hand.

“Emma… Emma… _Emma_!” his voice rising with panic when she didn’t come to. Killian continued to shake her, his elbow accidently knocking over her bag that sat next to her, spilling its contents out onto the floor. Killian bent over collecting her things and placing them back in her bag; wallet, phone, bottle of pills… Killian held the bottle in his hand, turning it over to read the label on it, a fancy medical term for the substance with the instructions: take one tablet every 6 hours for muscle pain. They were  muscle relaxants. _What was Emma doing with muscle relaxants?_ Killian shook the bottle lightly, the bottle nearly empty. She had mixed the drug with _how many drinks did she have again?_

“ _Emma…_ what have you done?” he asked rhetorically, tightening his grip on the bottle in his hands. Killian thrust the bottle back into her bag, tossing the bag over his shoulders and lifting Emma’s limp body into his arms. Emma’s head lolled slightly, moaning in her unconscious state.

“Come on let’s get you home…” he whispered to her, her body cradled safely in his arms.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian carried her to the car, from the car to her penthouse and all the way up to her room. Her sagging body cradled to his chest before gently lying her down upon her bed, lifting the covers over her body while she slept it off. This behavior was eerily familiar to him having spent his last few years taking care of his father when he was in a similar state and knew enough to know that this wasn’t Emma’s first brush with substance abuse. Suddenly his mind was putting together the pieces of the puzzle… The drinking, her dilated pupils after the many times she excused herself to go to the bathroom… It all fit. Emma had a serious drug and alcohol problem. She was self-medicating her problems. For how long he was unsure but there was one thing he knew for sure… Emma needed help.

Killian stood over her still form, his fingers brushing a few strands of hair from her face, sighing deeply. He knew what he had to do. He wouldn’t lose another person in his life to this and if she was to truly get better, he wouldn’t be the one to hold her back. She needed to do it on her own. Killian felt the hot rush of tears in his eyes as he kissed Emma on the forehead.

“Goodbye Emma,” he whispered against her clammy skin. Killian went to her desk on the opposite side of the room, pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote her the hardest thing he would ever have to say to anyone in his life and that was to tell her that he was leaving. Killian signed the note in his hand, fighting the urge to break down as he placed it on her bedside table. Killian had to keep reminding himself that it was for the best. This would be the push she needed to get better. Killian pulled the bottle of pills from his jacket pocket with no intention of returning them, he looked at them again, more sure of his decision now more than ever and tucked them back into the safety of his pocket to flush later at a more convenient time. Killian gave one last glance behind him towards the sleeping beauty on the bed, his heart sinking in his chest as he closed to the door on her. As he closed the door on _them_.


	21. Twenty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE, DRUGS AND MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

Part of Robin was happy that Killian had decided to come and stay with him for the remainder of the school year, up until college, and Roland enjoyed having a big brother figure around full-time. He was currently sharing a room with Roland, not that he minded, he had endured worse. It was certainly a step above sleeping the couch and it most certainly wasn’t the king sized bed in Emma’s room at her penthouse.

Killian allowed his mind to drift to Emma in his moments of silence that morning. He hadn’t talked to her in a few days and today was the first day back from winter break. He was frightened to face her. _What would she say? What wouldn’t she say? What needed to be said?_

“Killian!” the sound of Roland’s boisterous voice echoed through his mind, his tiny feet hitting the carpet as he ran full force, flopping onto his body that was currently laying on a twin size mattress placed on the floor. Killian groaned, his eyes closing in pain, Roland ringing his short stubby arms around his neck.

“Killian, Dad says it’s time for school!” he announced excitedly, having way too much energy at this ungodly hour.

“Your dad has got to stop feeding you name brand cereal in the morning. Too much sugar…” he grumbled, shrugging the child off of him, Roland rolling onto the floor beside him in a fit of giggles. Killian rolled over onto his stomach, digging his head underneath his pillow before being tackled again by Roland. Roland picked himself up, jumping up and down on Killian’s back that was covered by the comforter.

“Dad!” _bounce,_ “says!” _bounce,_ “get!” _bounce,_ “up!” each word followed by a bounce, rattling his entire body before the child collapsed on top of him.

“Time to get up for school,” Robin called out, leaning against the doorway. Killian lifted his head, Roland sliding off his back and onto the opposite side of the mattress that wasn’t occupied by his legs.

“That’s what I told him, Dad, but he wouldn’t listen!” Roland stood pointing blame in Killian’s direction.

“Well, aren’t you just a little firecracker this morning!” Killian mentioned, sitting up to sweep Roland off his feet and tucking him onto his chest, Roland laughing wildly at the gesture.

“Killian!” Roland squealed in protest, trying to get away from his hold.

“What time is it?” Killian asked his surrogate father.

“Quarter past six,” Robin replied, sipping his coffee.

“Bloody hell, I’m going to be late!” Killian jumped up from the mattress and ran down the hallway towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

“Language!” Robin reminded him.

“Sorry!” Killian apologized from inside the bathroom, causing Robin to shake his head at the madness that was his life right now.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian arrived just as the bell rang for 1st period, breaking out into a full on run into the building and to his class.

“You’re late Mr. Jones,” Mr. Mendell chided as Killian walked to his usual spot in the back of the classroom.

“Sorry, Mr. Mendell, it won’t happen again,” Killian politely excused, tossing himself down into his seat.

“See to it that it doesn’t.” he cautioned.

Killian glanced over at the seat next to him to see the seat empty and unoccupied. _Maybe she changed seats?_ Killian’s eyes scanned the crowd of seated students, none were his Emma. _I hope she’s alright._

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian packed up his things when the bell rang and quickly filed out of the classroom with the rest of his classmates. He walked down the hallway, a quick flash of short black hair catching his attention.

“Mary Margaret!” he called out to her. Mary Margaret abruptly turned, stomping towards him angrily. Killian was too busy in his own thoughts to notice her scary expression.

“Great, Mary Margaret, have you seen—“ he began before receiving a hard slap to his cheek. Killian groaned, his hand instinctively going to rub at the reddening hand print.

“You son of a bitch! I warned you! I told you if you hurt that girl that I would hurt you! You looked me in the eye and told me you wouldn’t hurt her! You stupid, lying, son of a bitch!” she screamed, her tiny fists raining punches down onto his body in blind fury. Mary Margaret worked herself up, tears sliding down her cheeks, her face flushed red as her hands became sloppier.

“Mary Margaret please—“ he pleaded with her, digging his hands into her shoulders to pry her off of him, the words dying on his lips when he caught sight of her distraught expression. “Mary Margaret?” he questioned, his head tilting in confusion before Mary Margaret sunk into his arms, choking on her sobs. Killian crushed her against his body, his hand coming to hold the back of her head as she let it all out against his shoulder. He rocked her gently, trying to calm her quietly with soothing words, her shoulders shaking with her loud cries.

“Mary Margaret, you need to calm down and tell me what happened. Where’s Emma?” He pulled her off of him, a hand on each side of her tear-streaked face, leaning down to her level to look her directly in the eye.

“Hospital…” she choked out followed by a few hiccups.

Killian’s vision blurred, his bag falling from his shoulder onto the floor with a thump, his entire world running in slow motion, his breath catching in his throat, tears brimming his eyes, the feeling of helplessness overwhelming his senses as a little piece of him died.

“When…” his voice fell into a low whisper. Mary Margaret shook her head in despair, willing for words that she couldn’t begin to say aloud.

“Mary Margaret!” he barked, startling her, “when?” he repeated softly, tears threatening to fall.

“Just a few days ago…” she shuttered.

“Why? Why didn’t anyone call me!” he demanded, the anger coursing through his veins, his voice raw with emotion.

“She asked me not to but I thought she was being unreasonable. She needs you, Killian,” she sighed, sucking back her tears.

“Where?” he demanded.

“Bellevue,” she said, Killian already taking off past her, desperate to get to Emma as fast as he could.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKKE

Killian raced to the hospital on his motorcycle, weaving in and out of the heavy mid-morning Manhattan traffic. Not that time of day mattered in this city, traffic was always busy. Killian was impatient and desperate in his pursuit. She needed him and nothing was going to keep him from seeing her.

Killian arrived at the hospital doors at a quarter 'til ten after parking his bike in the garage across the street. Killian ran up the steps into the ICU, stopping at the nurse’s station to inquire after Emma.

“Emma Swan, please,” he told then nurse on duty, his hands gripping the edge of the circular desk with acute nervousness.

“Emma Swan… Emma Swan… Emma Swan…” the nurse repeated over and over again as she scanned her list of room numbers.

“Today, please!” he growled out of frustration at the peppy upbeat nurse.

“Emma Swan, here she is. Go down this hall turn to the right, it’s the second door on the left,” she instructed. Killian slapped the counter top and ran in the direction she provided to him.

“Wait, sir! Family only!” she yelled after him, but Killian was too intent to care. He reached the door, his chest sinking at the sight of Emma curled up in a hospital bed, sleeping. She looked awful, miserable even.

“Sir you need—“ the nurse interrupted his thoughts.

“I’m her brother…” he shot back to silence her.

The nurse gave a curt nod, backing away from him in silence, giving him privacy.

She looked weak, very different from the Emma he was used to. The Emma he knew was proud and confident. Not this. Killian stumbled into the room, taking the few steps to her hospital bed and leaning over her crumpled up form. He lightly traced the hand that was bound to the frame with a plastic zip tie. _What had she done to herself?_ Killian looked at her sadly, his fingers smoothing her hair that felt as though it hadn’t been washed in days. He carefully brushed a few stray hairs from her face, Emma gently rousing from her sleep. Emma moaned, canting her head towards the source of her alertness to see Killian above her, a careful hand stroking her blonde locks.

“ _Killian…”_ Emma said weakly from the bed, her eyes steadily adjusting to the sight of him, her mind arguing with herself that he was nothing but a cruel dream, “ _is it really you?”_ she asked, her red, puffy eyes blinking back unshed tears.

“ _I’m here now… shhh…”_ he afforded her a sad, tight-lipped smile and pulled her into his arms, his hand continuing their motions against her hair. He dug his chin into her shoulder, not allowing her to see how distraught she had made him, his mouth opening and closing with silent sobs. She didn’t need that right now.

“ _Killian, I was so afraid I had lost you. I’m so sorry…”_ her cries were muffled against his shoulder, “ _so sorry…”_ she chanted, her entire body wracked with sobs.

“ _It’s okay… it’s okay…_ I’m not going anywhere…” Killian promised her, her body noticeably relaxing in his arms after he had said it.

Once Emma was calm enough, Killian pulled away from her slightly, a hand on each of her tear stained cheeks to get a better look at her. “Emma you have to tell me what happened…” he pleaded with her, “what happened after I left that night?”

“I can’t…” she sniffled, her eyes clamping shut as the pain of her ordeal assaulted her senses.

“Yes. Yes, you can. Whatever it is, we will get through it together.” He reasoned with her as his hand continued to smooth her hair, “What happened that night?” he repeated, a little more sternly, sensing her apprehension.

“Promise me you won’t be mad. Promise me you won’t leave me again,” she babbled on, her voice raw with her sobs.

“Emma, I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” he confirmed.

“You said that last time and you left me! I can’t go through that again, Killian!” her voice was frantic with panic.

“Shhhh…” he whispered, pulling her further into his arms to calm her, his mouth opening and closing with the proof of his own emotions.

“I wish I could hold you back…” she mumbled against his shoulder, her hands tugging at her restraints. Killian pulled back slightly, his fingers tracing a bound hand.

“Emma… did you?” he choked out, his voice hoarse with regret and pain.

“No. It was an accident, I promise. This was just a precaution.”

His features visibly relaxed at her admission.

“After you left, I had a panic attack so I…” she insinuated, not willing the words to come.

“I took your pills…”

“I had others… Killian, I’m so sorry. It was an accident… I didn’t mean to,” she pleaded with him, afraid that he was going to leave her again.

“Emma, what happened at the club? When I found you—“ He stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish, he didn’t even want to think about the position he saw her in the other night.

“When you left for the bathroom, Neal…”

“Wait, Neal was there?” he interrupted. Emma nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing.

“Neal cornered me and he… he…” she stammered, her head shaking back and forth as the visions assaulted her mind.

“He touched you?” Killian’s voice lowered into a feral growl, “I’ll fucking kill him!” His fist tightened on the tough plastic railing of the bed, so hard Emma thought he would snap it.

“Killian, please, calm down,” she tried.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you! I should have been there! Fuck!” he rambled, placing blame on himself.

“Killian, there’s nothing you could have done. If it hadn’t happened then, it would have happened some other time…” she assumed.

“How far did he take things?”

“Not far… he drew too much attention and left. His hands were all wrong…” she recalled, the disgust clear on her face at the memory and adding, “they weren’t yours…” Her eyes were sad and full of regret even though she knew she had nothing to feel bad about, at least about this. “After that I just kind of shut down and the pills were the only way I knew how to fix it…” she said remorsefully.

“How long, Emma?”

“Before you,” she said plainly, her eyes closing in shame.

“Emma, you have a problem,” he told her.

“Do you think that I don’t already know that!” she snapped, “I’ve tried everything else, this is the only think that works!”

“And see how well they worked this time. Emma, I won’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself like this. I love you too much—“ His voice broke, his eyes red with unshed tears.

“I know. Sometimes I don’t blame you for leaving but it’s hard Killian. I’ve tried, and it’s so hard…” she whimpered from the stress of it all.

“Emma, you have to promise me you’re going to get help. Promise me that you will get better because I can’t lose you,” he pleaded with her in earnest.

“I’ll get help… I’ll get help…” her voice broke into another sob, “I promise…” she cried.

“I’ll be here for you every step of the way. I promise you, Emma,” he vowed, holding her in his arms while she sobbed into the crook of his neck.

There was no way of knowing what the future had in store for them but until then they would just have to operate on blind faith.


	22. Twenty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE FOLLOWING TRIGGERS AND THEMES: DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE, DEPRESSION, FAILED ACCIDENTAL SUICIDE, PANIC ATTACKS, ADOPTION, AND ABORTION

_Sometime towards the end of July (the previous year)…_

_The positive pregnancy test sitting in Emma’s purse felt obvious, like a big flashing neon sign as she gazed up at it from across the room, her head peaking up from over Neal’s shoulder. Neal hovered above her, his lips tracing over her neck as he sucked the skin into his mouth, no doubt leaving noticeable bruises. Emma felt Neal grinding his growing erection into her jean-clad center, moaning against her neck in a need to take things further._

_They had been constantly sexually active over the course of the summer, starting right before school let out for the year. They couldn’t get enough of each other. The experience still new and exciting, thrilling her to no end. Before the act itself, Neal and Emma had done everything else, perfecting the art of foreplay between them before there was ever any actual penetration. He told her she was a natural at everything they did, and her confidence soared with his words of praise._

_Neal had been a little bit more experienced then she was before they had come together in that way, having only had two previous sexual partners to speak of to her zero count. She had lost her virginity to Neal, something she had no regrets about until she found out she was pregnant. The two of them had always used condoms with the exception of the one time they didn’t. Apparently, it only took one time._

_She was currently struggling on finding a way to tell him, fearful for what it would mean to their nearly two-year relationship. Emma could feel every inch of him pressed up against her, his hands instinctively reaching for the fastenings of her jean shorts that she opted to wear during the summer months._

_“No…” she said breathlessly, his hands stilling on top of the button on her pants._

_“No?” he repeated, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion, she had never turned him down before, the word ‘no’ had never left her mouth when they were like this. It gave Neal pause, his body shifting off hers to lean on his side next to her._

_“Are you on your period or something?” he asked, frustrated, a hand rubbing down the features of his face, annoyed at her for stopping him._

_“No.” she said sternly, pulling down the hem of her shirt that had been raised up underneath her breasts during their heavy make out and scrambling up to lean her body against the headboard in Neal’s room, her arms crossing over her chest awkwardly._

_“Then, what is it? Why won’t you sleep with me?” Neal asked giving the typical teenage boy response, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. Emma blamed his raging teenage male hormones._

_“Because!” she stated stubbornly, her voice rising slightly._

_“Because, why?” he continued relentlessly, not willing to drop the subject._

_“Because I’m pregnant!” she yelled finally, her shoulders slumping with the force of her confession, relieved to finally have it out in the open instead of eating away at her like a plague. Neal’s face dropped, that had been the last thing he was expecting to come out of her mouth._

_“You’re pregnant?” he asked for confirmation, staring at her, waiting for a sign that she was joking but found none. “Are you sure?”_

_Emma gave him a distraught look, her lower lip trembling in fear, the truth apparent on her face._

_It was for real._

_“And it’s mine?” He was shooting question after question her way, trying to get to the bottom of things._

_Emma dug her teeth into her lower lip, nodding as tears began to streak her cheeks, her response unmistakable. “I’m so sorry…” she snapped, her body wracked with uncontrollable sobs._

_“Come here,” he told her, his arm sliding around her neck, pulling her against his chest in a comforting manner, his fingers carding through her hair to soothe her trembling body._

_“Shhhh… it’s okay… everything is going to be okay,” he hushed her quietly, his words doing little to erase the panic and fear she felt in that moment._

“Emma… Emma… Emma…” a voice called to her, breaking her from her thoughts. Her eyes opened to see plain, dark-colored wall paper covering the walls and a woman sitting in front of her wearing a dark suit, her legs crossed at the ankles.

“Emma, do you know where you are right now?” the woman asked, Emma shook her head, her mind dazed and confused. “You are in the detox wing at a rehab facility in upstate New York,” she told her, her mind trying to comprehend her words with the pounding in her head.

“You’ve been in and out of it for the past few days…” the woman explained, her words making sense for the lack of memory swirling in Emma’s head that she was unable to account for, Emma’s tongue darted out to wet her chapped lips, her throat insanely dry.

“Do you know why you are here?” the woman continued to ask questions Emma didn’t know the answers to. Eventually she would just answer the questions for her, so Emma offered up no response.

“Emma, you had a serious drug and alcohol overdose. You admitted yourself here with the help of your friends and family. They are awfully worried about you.” The woman told her, the painful memories of recent events rushed through her all at once, her eyes closing against the assault of them in an attempt to erase them from memory, not wanting to think about it all, tears welling up in her closed eyes.

“Emma, you are currently enrolled in a program that is going to help you over the course of the next six weeks. We hope that by the end of it you will be better equipped to handle the difficult situations you find yourself in without the assistance of drugs and alcohol,” the woman explained, her foot tapping quietly as she spoke. “After the six weeks is up we will re-evaluate where you stand and decide if you need any more care,” she finished, her words beginning to drown out in Emma’s ears.  

_Two weeks later (after telling Neal she was with child)…_

_Emma and Neal found themselves sitting on a bench in the middle of Central Park, Emma’s head against Neal’s shoulder, their hands folded together as they soaked in the last days of their summer vacation._

_“Let’s keep the baby,” Neal suggested, making Emma’s mouth open then close._

_“Neal, we can’t, were sixteen and have our whole lives ahead of us.”_

_“People our age were having babies all the time hundreds of years ago. If they can do it, so can we,” he said optimistically._

_“That was what society expected them to do… it’s different today. Besides, what would people think?”_

_“How about I don’t give a shit what other people think. This decision is ours and ours alone.” He stated proudly. That was one of the things she loved about Neal the most, always willing to stand up for himself, not caring what people thought, regardless of the consequences that followed._

_“Give me one good reason for us to have this baby,” Emma said, presenting an opportunity to him._

_“Because I love you and I know with all my heart that I’m going to love this baby just as much as I love you,” he vowed._

_“Neal, you need a lot more just love to take care of an infant. It’s a lot of hard work and—“ Her speech was cut off by the press of his lips to hers to silence her._

_“Stop thinking and just feel. What does your heart tell you, Em?”_

_“My head is telling me that we are far too young to handle this, but my heart…” she thought before letting her heart guide her decisions for her, “…my heart is telling me that I already love this baby and I can’t picture a life without it, without you and it…” Neal couldn’t wipe the smile off his face even if he tried; her answer the one he was looking for._

_“Emma Swan?” he looked down at her in his arms, “will you do me the extraordinary honor of having my baby?” He asked teasingly, causing Emma to elbow him playfully. Sometimes Neal could be such a child…_

_“You dork!” she exclaimed, shoving him away from her, Neal chuckling as she did so._

_“Yes, yes I will have your baby…” she relented, playing along with the roll of her eyes._

_“We’re having a baby!” He declared happily as Emma shook her slightly with excitement. “You’re not going to regret this Em, we are going to be the perfect little family,” he promised._

“Emma, why do you think you have so much trouble trusting people?” the therapist asked point blank during their first session of the program.

Emma hunched into herself, shoving her hands further into the hoodie she wore like that would protect her from the ugly truth.

“It’s okay Emma, this is a safe place,” she assured her, like that made a difference. Emma offered her no indication that she was willing to speak.

“I understand that this is difficult for you, Emma, but I guarantee you will feel a lot better once you get whatever it is that’s bothering you off your chest.” She encouraged.

_Emma hadn’t heard from Neal in nearly a week and she was starting to get worried. Calling him, she was automatically getting his voice mail. Emma threw her phone across the room, the device sliding against the carpet in her bedroom. Emma curled into herself, her face buried in the pillow in her lap as she fought tears of frustration, her stomach churning with yet another wave of nausea, just one of the many perks of being pregnant…_

_“Em!” Neal’s voice bellowed from the first level of the penthouse, rousing her from her sudden bout of depression._

_Emma tossed the pillow located in her lap across the bed and hopped up, rushing downstairs to greet her boyfriend that had been AWOL for the past few days. Emma smiled brightly when her eyes found his, her body half way down the stairs. Her smile faltered when she saw the worn, troubled expression on his face, his fingers nervously toying with a set of keys in his hand._

_“We need to talk,” were the first words out of his mouth._

_Emma sank to a seated position on the stairs, her hand falling off the railing to place in her lap, her mind trying to contemplate his words. Neal crept closer to the stairs, placing a foot on the bottom step, his hand gripping the railing._

_“This isn’t easy for me, Em…” he disclaimed in warning, his head slumping. He couldn’t even look her in the eye as he said what he needed to say._

_Coward._

_Emma’s hands started to shake in her lap at the inflection in his voice, her eyes watering slightly for what was to come, it couldn’t be good._

_“You… you need to have an abortion…” he mumbled loud enough for her to hear, not even bothering to look her in the eye as he said it. Her lower lip began to tremble, a sad gasp leaving her lips._

_“But you said—“ she began, her voice barely above a whisper, for that was all she was capable of at the moment._

_“I know what I said!” he yelled, his fingers grasping nervously at the hairs at the top of his head in frustration, the sound of his voice making her jump slightly._

_“Then why, Neal? I don’t understand,” her head shaking, as if to deny herself of what she was hearing as the tears freely left her eyes, “what changed?” she demanded with a quiet sob._

_“I talked to my dad?” He stated with a questioning tone, swallowing his own hurt, “you were right Em, we can’t do this… we’re just kids…”_

_“No, that’s not what you said earlier! We had a plan Neal,” she denied resiliently, her voice broken._

_“What do you want from me, Em? This is my life too, you know! My choice as well…”_

_“What do I want from you? What do I want from you? I want the truth, Neal! I deserve the truth!” She begged, her body wracked with sobs, “I deserve to know the truth, Neal…”_

_Neal’s hand went to his mouth pleading with his mind to hand over the words he so desperately needed to say because she was right, she deserved the truth and she deserved to hear it from him._

_“Em, I couldn’t, you have to understand…”_

_“What couldn’t you do?” she snarled, her voice pained and angry._

_“He gave me a choice, Em…” he finally spoke, his voice falling slightly as he said the rest, “you and the baby or my inheritance,”_

_Emma’s eyes shut tightly at his confession, her face showing disappointment. “And you chose your inheritance…” she stated, nodding her head, her teeth catching her lower lip, her head falling in shame._

_“Em, this doesn’t change the way I feel about you… I love you…” he started to say._

_“Love? You don’t know the first thing about love!” She spat angrily, “You don’t do this to the people you love!”_

_“Em, he didn’t give me a choice!” he excused his actions._

_“No! He gave you a choice. You just chose wrong! You were supposed to choose me, choose this baby…” she sniffled, her hand going to her stomach._

_“What was I supposed to say to him?”_

_“You could have told him ‘no’!” she sobbed, “you could have told him that—“ Her voice trailed off slightly, “Coward! You’re a coward!” She screamed at him, he deserved it, he was a coward._

_“You’re too much of a coward to stand up to him. You don’t need that money, Neal! People have raised a baby on less…” she added painfully._

_“And what do you suggest? I get some crappy minimum wage job to support us and live out of the back seat of a car?” he thought aloud._

_“Some people only have the back seat of a car…” she cried._

_“That’s not good enough for me, Em. I deserve better… you deserve better…” he shook his head at the thought, dismissing it immediately, not even willing to consider it._

_“You’re right,” she started to pick herself up from her spot on the stairs and Neal lifted his head up to her as she said, “I do…”_

_“Em, please—“ he started towards her, only to have her step farther away from him, her body traveling backwards slightly up the steps._

_“Bye, Neal.” She said dismissively, staring down at him from her perch at the top of the stairs._

_“Emma wait—“ he started, “we can make this work…” he insisted, “all you have to do is get this abortion and it will be like nothing ever happened. We can go back to the way things were before this even started.” He promised in a last ditch effort to save their already ruined relationship._

_“Leave.” she told him, her hand gesturing towards the elevator doors._

_“My dad told me you would do this…” he said cryptically over his shoulder on his way out._

_“Told you what?” she demanded._

_“That you wouldn’t want to have the abortion… that all you wanted to do was trap me for my money…” he told her cruelly, once again facing her as the angry words slipped from his mouth._

_“I have plenty of money, Neal!” She shouted, “What I need is support!”_

_“And how am I supposed to even know if this baby is even mine!”_

_“You and I both know that it is.” she bit back._

_“Could have fooled me… you almost did…” he told her bitterly._

_“Get out!” she commanded._

_“Leave!” she yelled, when he didn’t make a move to go._

_Neal did as he was told, turning around and summoning the elevator, stepping on, the doors closing on him as she watched him leave. Once out of sight, Emma trudged the short distance back to her room, shutting the door behind her as she fell to a slump on the floor, her head pressed against the back of the door as she sobbed loudly, her hand caressing her growing belly in anguish._

“Let’s talk about your step mother,” the therapist suggested, “Caroline?” She recalled reading the notes in front of her. Emma grimaced at the sound of her step mother’s name, painful memories flooding her mind.

_The morning of her first day of Junior year…_

_Emma awoke to a loud knock at the door followed by a person barging their way in. Emma threw the covers up over her head with a groan, unwilling to face the day ahead._

_“Emma, time to get up!” her step mother’s voice grumbled from the door way._

_“Go away!” Emma told her._

_“Emma, your father sent me in here to see to it that you got up in time for school.” She said, like she was doing Emma a grand favor, which she wasn’t, clearly she was annoyed by the task._

_“Emma,” she sneered, at her wits’ end, stomping over to the bed and throwing off the covers, her arms coming over to Emma to pull her up and out of bed forcefully._

_“Stop! Stop!” Emma begged, her stomach flip flopping as the bile rose up in her throat. Emma crawled out of bed, scurrying into the bathroom, a well-placed hand over her mouth as if that was going to keep anything from actually coming out. Emma threw the door open to the separate space that stored the toilet, not even bothering to lift the seat up as she emptied the contents of her stomach, heaving as she did so. Once finished, she flushed, her body quickly finding the reprieve of the cold tile on her clammy skin._

_“Please, try not to get me sick.” Caroline leered over her, her body leaning against the entry way, standing all high and mighty._

_Emma picked her head up gently from the floor, her body weak from having expelled most of the food she needed for energy. “Not sick,” she mumbled a groan._

_“Don’t be ridiculous Emma, I just saw you.” she insisted, her hand gesturing towards the main object of the space._

_“Pregnant…” she admitted sheepishly, her hand instinctively rubbing her upset stomach, the source of the majority of her discomfort. Emma didn’t see the expression on her step-mother’s face, opting out of watching the humiliation cross her features._

_“Oh, this won’t do,” Caroline stated selfishly, wracking her brain for a solution to the problem, “no, this won’t do at all…”_

“I guess you could say we have a _complicated_ relationship with an even more complicated history…” Emma offered quietly.

“Why don’t you tell me more about that…”

_8 months later (Sometime in April)…_

_“One last big push, Emma,” the doctor prompted with an encouraging nod of his head._

_“I can’t,” Emma told him, shaking her sweaty head, tears welling in her eyes against the strain._

_“Yes, you can, Emma, this baby needs you and it’s coming NOW,” the doctor coaxed. “Here comes the next contraction… and… PUSH!” he commanded. Emma pushed with all her might with a grunt, her body shaking, the pain immeasurable._

_Once the pressure had receded, Emma let out a sigh of relief, her head bouncing back against the hospital bed in exhaustion as the loud wailing of infant cries filled the room._

_She had done it._

_“Emma?” a nurse called, getting her attention, “would you like to meet your son?” she asked, holding a blue bundle in her arms, slightly rocking the baby back and forth._

_“My son?” Emma moved to sit up a tad, her hands bracing against the bed underneath her to lift herself up, nodding her head furiously in response. The nurse walked the bundle over to her, gently setting the infant into her arms._

_“Support his head,” the nurse reminded her and Emma adjusted her arm to do just that. This was the first time Emma had ever held a baby and the baby was hers. Emma put a soft palm against the blanket, her eyes shedding tears of complete awe as she looked upon her son. He was beautiful._

_“Hi, hi…” she cooed softly, her face beaming at the baby in overwhelming joy and fulfillment, “I’m your mom, that’s right, I’m your mommy…” She whispered quietly, her finger tracing the features on his small face._

_“I love you so much already and you were just born,” she smiled at the infant son in her arms. “I don’t know how you can love someone so much that you just met,” she allowed a few happy tears to escape her eyes._

_The moment was short, cut off by a woman in a dark suit taking her baby from her and carrying him out of the room. Emma watched intently as the pair left, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion until she saw Caroline standing in the doorway._

_“What did you do?” she cried, her features contorting into sheer distress, not understanding what was going on._

_“What needed to be done.” she said uncaringly, her arms crossed at her waist. Emma’s head fell against the bed, her body shaking as the uncontrollable sobs left her body._

“Do you still hold her accountable?”

“Not as much as I used to,” she stated bitterly, “I’m more upset with myself for letting it happen.”

“Emma, you do know that what happened wasn’t your fault, don’t you?” the therapist told her. Emma nodded her head sadly, still beating herself up over what had happened in the past.

“Do you regret not saying anything?” she asked intently.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, the ink was already dry on the page…” she thought pessimistically. “She wouldn’t have allowed it.”

“You didn’t answer my question Emma.” Emma’s head snapped up to face her, “Do you regret not saying anything?” She asked, point blank.

“Every day,” she admitted aloud for the very first time.

“Let’s go back to the event that brought you here in the first place.”

_A few days ago…_

_Emma woke to sunlight seeping through the curtains in her room, the previous night a complete and total blur, the only evidence that it had even happened was the pounding in her head._

_Emma’s hands reached for the bed sheet beside her, her hand coming up empty. She looked back, her eyes zeroing in on a stark white sheet of paper on the bedside table._

_A note._

_At least he had the sense to leave her a note excusing his absence. Perhaps he had to leave early for work this morning but, he had the day off, it was New Year’s Day… Emma clutched the note in her dainty hand. On the top it said ‘Emma’ written in Killian’s messy, boyish script. The note read:_

_Emma,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person but I can’t do this anymore. I love you too much to sit idly by as you destroy your life. I’ve lost too many people in my life. I can’t lose you, too. You have to understand why I’m doing this. I didn’t want it to have to come to this. I will always love you and care for you, Emma. You brought light and fun into my word when it was at its darkest and now you need to do that for yourself. Get better._

_Yours always, Killian_

_Emma braced herself, the air rushing out of her lungs, the paper crushing in her hand, tossing it across the room in blind fury._

_“You promised!” She screamed blinking back tears, the feeling of hurt and betrayal taking over her senses, rocking her body straight to its core. “You promised…” She shuttered, the sobs quickly building in her mouth just waiting to crawl out. The world began to blur, the walls seemingly closing in on her as she fought for breath, clawing at her throat, gasping for the air that wasn’t coming. A state of sheer panic took over as the darkness enveloped her, ready to swallow her whole. Emma’s eyes caught sight of her purse sitting on the pulled-out chair of her vanity, the desperation setting in._

_Emma fell from her seat on the bed, her head hitting the floor with a muffled thump. She began to crawl on her stomach, inching closer to her bag, until she reached up for it, pulling it down, its contents spilling out over the floor beside her._

_Emma scanned the fallen items looking for her bottle of pills but finding none. Her eyes went wide, the realization that they weren’t there causing another flood of panic to overtake her, the need to take away the pain she felt so overwhelming it consumed her. Emma propped herself up on shaky hands and knees and began to crawl out of the room, unable to get her body to cooperate with much else movement._

_Emma stumbled into her father’s room that he shared with Caroline, crawling straight to their bathroom. She reached an arm upwards, grasping the counter for purchase, slowly pulling her body up with as much strength as she could manage, catching her own red, blotchy reflection in the mirror staring back at her. She gripped the counter tightly, her legs feeling like Jell-O underneath her, a trembling hand reaching for the medicine cabinet on the side of the wall next to one of two elaborate bathroom sinks._

_Emma tore open the medicine cabinet, her furious, searching hands knowing the majority of the contents, spattering them across the counter top and sinks before finding Caroline’s Xanax. Emma expertly removed the cap, slumping against the counter top, and pouring the contents in her hand, very much unaware of how many she had, just wanting the overwhelming feeling to go away, and tossed them down her throat. Her version began to blur further, the world around her spinning, the bottle slipping from her hand as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her body hitting the ground, her vision going black._

_When she finally came to three days later, she was in the hospital, admitted for an apparent drug overdose. She had been found by the cleaning lady, what she was doing there on New Year’s Day Emma didn’t know, but she was grateful for it none the less._

“Would you say that you had a drug dependency… among other things?”

“I self-medicate on occasion. Sure,” Emma admitted as if it wasn’t that big a deal.

“What do you take part in that makes you feel better?” she probed.

“What don’t I take part in,” she recalled, her eyes going wide as her brain raked through the memories of countless alcohol and drug benders she had been on in the past. Not to mention all the sex she had partaken in to make her feel better about herself.

“Besides the drugs and alcohol?” she asked faintly, getting an encouraging nod urging her to continue from her therapist.

“Sex…” she told her, a wave of insecure awkwardness falling over her.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of Emma,” the doctor said trustingly. “Why do you feel the need to over indulge yourself in that particular area?” She asked, causing Emma to retreat back into herself with embarrassment.

“I guess it has to do with my self-confidence,” she said with the shrug of her shoulders, trying to find the words to describe it.

“I suppose it makes me feel better about myself. When you have someone showing them with their body how much they care and find you desirable, it makes me feel good about myself… _really good…”_

“So you use sex as a tool to make yourself feel better,” the doctor nodded in understanding, summing up what Emma had just said. Emma nodded in confirmation, a slight blush on her cheeks.

“Why do you think you dislike yourself Emma?”

_A few days after the falling out with Neal…_

_Emma sat in the waiting room of the clinic, unable to keep her shaking legs still even if she tried, nervously chewing on her fingernails._

_“Emma Swan,” the nurse called. Emma stood on wobbly legs and moved to follow the nurse towards an exam room._

_“Change and the doctor will be right with you to go over the procedure. Then someone will come in to give you an ultrasound, then we can proceed…” the nurse explained, gesturing to the gown on the table._

_“Wait—I don’t need to talk about it, I’m sure…” Emma told her as convincingly as possible._

_“It’s nothing you can opt out of. It’s just policy,” the nurse told her politely, leaving her to change._

_Once Emma had changed she hopped up on the table to wait for the doctor. A loud knock sounded moments later, breaking the trance state she found herself in._

_“Come in,” she squeaked. The doctor moved swiftly into the tiny exam room before introducing himself as Dr. Masterson and taking a seat on a chair beside her._

_“My nurse tells me that you’re pretty sure of your decision. Is that right?” The doctor asked, Emma nodded her head, urging for him to continue. “I’m not here to talk you out of your choice, but, by law, I have to tell you that if you don’t want to go through with this you don’t have to.”_

_“I can’t have this baby.”_

_The doctor smiled at her awkwardly, he probably saw this kind of thing all the time._

_“Emma, do you have any kind of support at home? Mother? Father? Partner? Friend?” He began to list off._

_“My cousin,” she nodded sadly._

_“Just making sure you’re not making this choice on your own and you have had someone to talk about it with you.”_

_“The procedure is pretty simple…” he began to explain, his words drifting in and out of her ears, not wanting to necessarily hear the specifics._

_“Now, do you have any questions for me?” His voice broke through her reverie._

_“Will it hurt?” She asked him._

_“A little,” he admitted. Emma swallowed painfully, but was thankful for his honesty._

_“If that’s all, I’m going to bring in the ultra sound technician and we will set you up with that.” He said moving to get up and leave._

_“Wait—“ She spoke weakly, “Do we really need to do that?” She asked._

_“It’s policy. We need to make sure that you are within the right time frame to go through with terminating the pregnancy. If we terminate it past a certain point it can be very dangerous for you,” he stated matter-of-factly before turning to leave._

_Emma once again found herself alone in the empty, stark white room, waiting for close to five minutes before the ultra sound technician appeared, wheeling in the equipment she would need. Emma watched diligently as she set up for the ultrasound before it was announced that she was ready, the woman placing a blanket on the lower half of Emma’s body to preserve her modesty._

_“I’m going to need you to lie back and lift your gown a bit,” she prompted and Emma nodded, doing as she was told._

_“This is going to be a little cold. I’m sorry,” she warned, squeezing gel on her stomach, Emma flinched slightly at the temperature even though she had been prepared for it before as Emma felt the wand move against her belly._

_“Here we are,” the technician announced, looking up at the screen, “yeah. It looks like you’re about eight weeks along,” she noted._

_“Would you like to hear the baby’s heart beat?” She asked, not waiting for an answer before switching a button._

_“Wait, please—“ Emma began, but it was too late as the steady flutters of a heart beat filled the room. Emma was mesmerized by the sound, the image on the screen…_

_“I can’t do this…” she broke, the tears falling from her closed eye lids._

_“I’m going to give you a moment,” she suggested, cleaning Emma off and removing the ultra sound equipment as quickly as possible to give Emma a moment alone to collect her thoughts._

_KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE_

_A half an hour later Emma walked back out into the waiting room, her eyes stopping when she caught sight of Mary Margaret, who she had left back here waiting for her. Mary Margaret threw the magazine down on the chair, rushing to her friend who looked utterly distraught. Mary Margaret swiftly drew her friend into her arms, comforting her as Emma sobbed into her shoulder._

_“I couldn’t do it,” she said against her shoulder, her voice muffled by her cries._

_“It’s alright,” Mary Margaret chanted, a hand making soothing circles on Emma’s back._

_KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE_

_Emma paced back and forth in her room, her feet sliding against the carpet, her smart phone tapping decidedly at her chin nervously. She was really not looking forward to making this phone call but she supposed he had a right to know that she didn’t go through with the abortion and that she would have the baby even though she had yet to decide wither she wants to keep it or not. It was now or never…_

_Emma scrolled through her contacts and landed on Neal’s number, tapping the call button to connect her._

_“Em?” Neal’s raspy voice came over through the speaker._

_“I just thought you should—“ her voice trailed off at the distinct sound of a giggly female voice in the background catching her attention, her breath catching in her throat. It didn’t matter what she did, he had already moved on… Emma’s heart sank in her stomach._

_“Em?” Neal called to her again._

_“I just thought you should know that I went through with the abortion.” She said suddenly, lying seeming like the best course of action to protect her heart further. He didn’t deserve to be in her life… in her child’s life…_

_“Good,” was the only word he offered her._

_She heard the relief in his voice before his end cut off completely, the line going dead as the phone slipped through her fingers, her knees hitting the floor underneath her as she fought for breath. The door was thrown open, Mary Margaret rushing over to her in a wild state of panic._

_“Emma? Emma… Emma!” she cried, shaking her unresponsive body._

“Emma?” the therapist said, trying to get her attention. Emma was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of her name.

“I’m sorry, what was the question?”

“We were talking about self-loathing and why you feel the way you do about yourself.” The therapist reminded her. Emma offered her a shrug, not willing to voice her reasons just yet.

“Don’t worry, we will get there,” she assured her, “you’ve made a lot of progress over the last two weeks, Emma. I’m incredibly proud of you,” the therapist congratulated her.

“We think you’re ready to be taken to the in-patient part of the facility,” the therapist told her. “It’s a lot nicer, in my opinion,” she added. “It feels more like a nice hotel as opposed to a rehab facility.”

“You will be assigned a roommate and you will continue your one-on-one sessions with myself along with group therapy sessions with Dr. Whale.”

“Group therapy sessions?” Emma repeated with the quirk of her brow, “Is that really necessary?”

“They can be very helpful. Especially with interacting with people who are your own age and understand what you’re going through first hand,” she encouraged. “Don’t worry… it will be good for you,” she promised.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Emma looked down at the small piece of paper in her hand with her room assignment written on it, looking back to the big, burly man they had escort her through the facility.

“Here you are,” he said lowly, opening the door for her to step inside.

Emma’s eyes fell on the empty bed on the left side of the room, seeing her belongings had already been brought up. The room was definitely not what she would have pictured even knowing what she knew about it from her therapist. The walls were covered in a soft yellow wallpaper, cheerful but not loud, there was plush carpet and light wooden furnishings with the exception of padding on the edges because apparently that can also be dangerous. Stepping back it looked more like a 4 star hotel, if not for the bars on the windows.

“Hey!” A voice greeted as a tall woman with dark brown curls and light features stepped forward extending her hand to Emma in greeting, “You must be the new roomie…”

“Emma,” she told her, her hand meeting hers in a friendly shake.

“I’m Ruby,” she smiled pleasantly in introduction, “how long are you in for?”

“Another four weeks,” Emma replied, nervously tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“A newbie, _exciting_ …” her eye brows rising with excitement.

“Sorry?” Emma asked in confusion.

“You’re new here, are you not?” she asked with a well-placed hand on her popped hip, Emma nodded shyly. “The new ones are always here the shortest amount of time.” She shook her head with a knowing laugh.

“Just be glad you got me as your roommate. I’m a veteran here. I will show you the ropes,” she insisted.

“Thanks… I think?”

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“This is the cafeteria… breakfast is served at 7:30 sharp, don’t be late…” Ruby cautioned, showing her the place where she would dine with her fellow in-patients. “Lunch is at 12pm and dinner is at 6,” Ruby told her as Emma nodded along, “any questions?”

“Is this part where you pull me aside and give me the speech from _‘Mean Girls’_ and tell me that where I choose to sit is crucial?” Emma asked sarcastically.

“No. Not crucial. Detrimental,” she amended with a teasing grin.

“Hello ladies,” a voice greeted from the opposite side of the room belonging to an average sized blond doctor wearing a suit and lab coat. “Don’t be late for group, it starts in twenty,” he reminded them, turning his body to face theirs as he passed them, walking backwards.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Ruby gave a seductive smirk to the smiling doctor.

“Who was that?” Emma asked Ruby once the man was out of ear shot.

“Dr. Whale,” she sighed, catching Emma slightly off guard.

“The guy who runs the group therapy sessions?” Emma asked for confirmation.

“Yeah,” Ruby confirmed, “he’s so sexy, and he totally wants me…”

“Is that so?” Emma snickered at her roommate’s delusions.

“It’s true!” She huffed with a pointed glare in Emma’s direction.

“Whatever you say,” Emma laughed, shaking her head. “So… group therapy…” Emma started, successfully changing the subject.

“It’s not really all that bad.” Ruby confessed, “Besides, how could looking at the hot doc for an hour and a half be a bad thing?” She giggled, giving Emma no comfort.

KEKEKEKEKEKEEKKEKEKE

Emma and Ruby gathered with the other teens in a plain room, chairs forming a circle so that you could see everyone else’s face as you reveal your deepest, darkest secrets.

It was more than a little intimidating.

“Hi Ruby,” a boy greeted Ruby with a shy wave.

Ruby returned his wave, flashing him a toothy grin that sent the boy blanching, unbelieving that he had his affections returned to him. Ruby was a social butterfly that couldn’t be kept down, everywhere she went people knew of her and wanted to be with her. It was safe to assume that Emma was in safe hands with Ruby as an ally.

“We have a newcomer here this afternoon,” Dr. Whale began, taking his seat amongst the group to mediate. “Everyone, this is Emma.” He introduced to a chorus of, “hi, Emma.”

“Emma, why don’t you introduce yourself and start us off today?” He suggested with a simple flourish of his hand gesturing for her to proceed.

“I’d rather not...” Emma murmured shyly, awkwardly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, her head down the entire time.

“I’ve got this,” Ruby whispered for only Emma to hear.

“I’d really like to start today, Dr. Whale,” Ruby volunteered energetically.

“Okay, Ruby,” Dr. Whale nodded in her direction giving her the go-ahead.

Ruby gave him a seductive smirk, playing up her feminine wiles, uncrossing her legs, vulgarly stroking the skin just below her extremely short shorts that were _way_ out of season. Emma pressed her head into her hand, shaking it with embarrassment for the girl, she was reaching and she knew it. Emma rolled her eyes as Ruby continued to flirt with an unsuspecting Dr. Whale.

Although she didn’t participate in the discussion, Emma learned a lot about the people she was going to be spending the new few weeks with.

For instance, the boy who waved at Ruby was named Scott, he was fourteen years old, by far the youngest of them all and had problems with his home life that had led him into a bout of deep depression that ultimately led to two failed suicide attempts.

Ruby had a similar tale, bearing the bandaged scars on her wrists, a mark for every attempt she made on her life. It was almost unbelievable to hear. Ruby was so flirtatious and outgoing; everyone loved her, why couldn’t she love herself as well? Each person, a new set of problems, a new story with the same undertones of self-loathing.

Emma wasn’t the only one…

_Earlier back in September (During her absence from school)…_

_Emma had been stuck in the same spot for days, staring at the same wall in her bedroom for hours on end. Never moving, never changing. If not for the fluttering of her eyelashes, one would have easily mistaken her for a vegetable._

_“Emma? Emma? Emma!” A voice chanted, seemingly breaking through the silence that surrounded her, her body still unyielding in her deep trance-like state. “How long as she been like this?” Mary Margaret’s voice broke through, waving her hand in front of Emma’s face to get her attention, it was no use._

_“How am I supposed to know? I got home and just found her like this. Should I call an ambulance?” Caroline’s uncaring, sarcastic voice wafted through her ears, the endless words and questions that held no meaning floating through her still mind._

_“No, you stupid bitch!” Mary Margaret spat behind her, shaking her head before turning back to Emma, “Emma, can you hear me? Emma!” She cried helplessly, beginning to shake her in hopes of rousing her with no success._

_“Emma!” she screamed, resorting to slapping her out of it, the force of her backhand doing nothing more than changing the direction in which Emma stared._

_“What do we do now?” Caroline asked in a demanding voice._

_“We need to shock her system,” Mary Margaret told her, “I’m going to need a bucket of ice.” Mary Margaret commanded, springing into action as she leapt from the bed and onto her feet, moving straight to the tub in the bathroom and turning the faucet on as cold as she could make It. Caroline had returned with the bucket of ice, handing it off to Mary Margaret who promptly poured the contents of the bowl into the water streaming into the half-filled tub. Caroline followed Mary Margaret back to Emma’s spot on the bed, crawling up behind her as Mary Margaret motioned for her to lift Emma._

_Caroline did as was requested of her, her arms wrapping underneath her arm pits, while the petite pixie grabbed her legs, moving her off the bed and carting her off to the bathroom. Caroline and Mary Margaret slowly lowed her into the freezing tub of ice water, clothes and all, Emma gasping as she met its icy depths._

_“That seemed to do the trick,” Caroline started with a backhanded, unneeded comment, receiving a disapproving scowl from Mary Margaret._

_Emma shivered, whimpering and crying as she came to, her entire body trembling as her mind snapped back into its conscious state. Mary Margaret let her float for a few minutes, her attention turning back to Caroline who was leaning against the open doorway to the bathroom._

_“She hasn’t been to school in days, that didn’t strike you as odd?” She chided._

_Emma was too far into the chilly water to hear the conversation going on around her._

_“How was I supposed to know?” Caroline scoffed._

_“You are supposed to be her mother!” Mary Margaret yelled, the angry words muffled by the sloshing water around her._

_KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE_

_Emma sat on her bed, a thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her cheeks pale, her nose red as Mary Margaret handed her a mug of her favorite hot chocolate._

_“Thanks…” she stuttered with a shrug of her shoulders._

_“Emma… I was so scared,” Mary Margaret revealed, curling her legs underneath her body next to Emma._

_“It’s not that big a deal,” she said as she carefully sipped her warm, chocolaty drink._

_“Damn it, Emma!” Mary Margaret shouted, startling Emma slightly. “You didn’t tell me it was this bad,” she went on to say, tears springing her eyes in concern._

_“It’s not,” Emma insisted, “it probably won’t even ever happen again.”_

“How did you like group therapy?” Ruby’s upbeat voice chirped, breaking Emma out of her thoughts as Ruby walked backwards down the hallway to face her. “It wasn’t so bad, right?”

“No, I guess not…” she mumbled.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

As the days ticked by, Emma felt as though she had made little progress in getting better. She didn’t feel _different…_

“Emma, what did you like to do before your… _incident_?” Her therapist asked her directly.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Emma questioned, her eye brows knitting together in confusion.

“ _Everything_ ,” she told her, her foot tapping in mid-air, “we are trying to get you back into a place where you feel safe and comfortable. That means going back to the things you enjoyed, the things that brought you comfort.”

“I like to knit…” she offered solemnly.

_6 months pregnant (around Christmas)…_

_Emma sat in the rocking chair facing the window, the snow catching on the ground as the sky grew dark, rocking gently back and forth, her elbows resting against her rounded stomach as the needles moved about the material. She glanced down at the matching half of her finished project as a reference point for finishing the other half, the small light blue object making her smile._

_Just a few months before, Emma had found out she was having a boy. Wanting to make her future son something made by her own two hands, she reluctantly picked up knitting as a way to pass the time between her sessions with her tutor._

_One final stitch and the object was complete._

_Emma placed her needles down on the table beside her, picking up the object’s twin and beaming at them. She had made her baby boy a set of tiny little robin’s egg blue baby booties. She couldn’t wait to give them to him when he was ready to come out a few months from now._

“Knitting relaxes me,” she amended awkwardly, tucking her hands further into the sleeves of her over-sized hoodie, Killian’s hoodie. The hoodie that still held on to the faintest remainder of his scent, even after four weeks’ time.

“Knitting?” she states as if it were a question, tilting her head as if a thought was forming in her head. Emma nodded.

“Emma, I’m not normally allowed to do this but under the right supervision I don’t see how it can be harmful,” she began, “I want you to pick back up on the hobby, let me know how you feel.”

Emma smiled optimistically at just the promise of some normalcy before her therapist added, “You will have to be monitored, of course, I can’t leave alone with such sharp objects.”

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

It was absolutely killing her not being able to talk to Killian.

The first two weeks were easy but as time wore on it became much more difficult. He didn’t know how she was doing, how much she loved him, how much she missed him. She wanted him to know she was doing alright, that she was getting better and that she would see him as soon as she could.

A large, bulky man named Lars stepped into the room she shared with Ruby, knitting supplies in hand.

Emma accepted them gratefully, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to the man who stood with his hands behind his back as he monitored her, making sure she didn’t harm herself or others. An idea formed in her head at the thought of Killian, her eyes glancing over at the calendar on the wall, scanning for his rapidly approaching birthday reminding her of her promise to him. Emma picked the material, setting the others aside and getting straight to work.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Ruby came bouncing into their room, happily spinning, her eccentric nature giving Emma slight whiplash.

“Who’s this?” she stumbled, catching herself before running straight into the man in question.

“Apparently, I need watching after with these,” Emma told her, holding up her knitting needles for Ruby to see.

“She’s not suicidal, you dumb ass!” She shouted in Emma’s defense, waving her hands about in front of his face crazily. Emma giggled at her roommate’s nature and demeanor, Ruby was _highly_ entertaining.

“He’s not going to listen to you,” Emma sing-songed.

Ruby huffed in defeat, blowing the bangs from her eyes, scoffing as she plopped onto the bed beside Emma.  

“What are you making?” she nudged Emma dramatically.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Emma blanched at her question, holding up the half-finished accessory for her to see.

“Um… no…?” she said teasingly.

“It’s a beanie,” Emma smiled.

“ _Right…”_

“It’s for my boyfriend’s birthday; I promised I would make it for him,” Emma explained.

“The _boyfriend,”_ she gushed, giggling slightly making Emma blush. “Do you have a picture of this boyfriend of yours?”

Emma nodded, reaching behind Ruby, shoving her hand in her pillow case where she kept the only picture she had of Killian which just happened to be of him working at the garage, it was a polaroid she took from off the cork board they kept there. It was Killian in his coveralls with his cute backwards cap working underneath the hood of a car, tilting his head towards the camera and giving it one of his signature smiles that could melt just about any girl’s heart.

“This is _him_?” Ruby smirked, trying to keep her emotions in check. “He’s a fucking babe! Seriously, how did you end up with him and where can I get one?” Ruby asked making Emma shake with laughter.

“You are too much!” Emma snorted, snatching the picture from Ruby’s hands.

“Tell me about him,” Ruby encouraged.

Emma smiled and began to describe Killian as best as she could to someone who hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting him for themselves. To know Killian was to love him.

“He sounds amazing, but, you are missing a very crucial part to your story there…” Ruby told her suggestively. Emma leaned in towards her, waiting for her to finish her thought, “How is he in bed?” She finally asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Horny toad!” Emma insulted her with a gentle shove, “You are a horny toad!”

“Guilty,” she confessed, completely unashamed.

“Fine,” she muttered, beginning to give her now-friend all the juicy details of her relationship with  Killian.

“For _real_?” Ruby gasped after Emma had told her about the time in the garage against the hood of a car.

“I couldn’t make this up if I tried,” she defended, making Ruby’s mouth fall open.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Emma gave her therapist her finished beanie for Killian along with a slip of paper with the garage’s address on it, asking her to send it.

“I know I can’t contact him but I would really appreciate it if you just sent him this… he will know who it’s from.”

“Of course, Emma,” she agreed, taking the hat and slip of paper from her hands to send out later.

“Have a seat,” she offered, gesturing to Emma’s usual chair.

“Emma, we’ve been talking to one another for the past few weeks and I think we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. That being said, you still have yet to mention your father’s role in all of this. Why is that?”

_July (after returning home)…_

_Emma couldn’t face her father._

_There was absolutely no way._

_He would never look at her the same if she told him. Her fear crippled her from sleep, keeping her up at night. Emma shoved the covers off her body, the heat stifling in the room to the point where she almost couldn’t breathe. She threw herself off the bed and headed downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water._

_Emma downed the water in one easy gulp, the cold water washing away her worries before setting down the empty glass with a muffled thump. She padded back to her bedroom on the second level, being careful not to wake anyone before motioning to open her door when a soft glow came from outside her father’s office. Emma curiously stepped in that direction, softly cracking the door to peek inside. Her father sat in his leather chair, his back turned away from her as he looked into the flames in the hearth, a glass of single malt scotch clenched in his right hand._

_“Dad?” Emma called out to him, entering his study before she got a more careful look at him, a disheveled upset look on his face, tears streaking his cheeks._

_“Emma? What are you doing up, sweetheart?” He sat up in his seat, giving her a fake smile to mask his sadness. It didn’t work._

_“Couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up at this hour?”_

_“Same, I suppose. Thought a drink might help put me to sleep…” he gestured to the glass in his hand. He deserved to know the truth. It needed to come from her and her alone._

_“Dad—“_

_“Emma, wait,” his spare hand shot out to grasp hers, “I’m really happy to have you home, you haven’t any inclination as to how much I missed you, my darling girl. I’m so proud of you. You made a choice and you’ve handled it with so much maturity and grace… Your mother would be so proud,” he complimented her, the words of praise foreign to her ears._

_She didn’t deserve any of that._

_“It wasn’t easy making the decision you did and it killed me that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. I regret sending Caroline in my stead, I should have been there. I hope that she was a good enough replacement.”_

_Emma smiled at him, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. “No one could ever replace you,” she whispered, in fear of her voice betraying her._

_“What was it that you wanted to tell me?” He asked, switching topics._

_“Just that I really missed you,” she leaned in to hug him._

“So, your father doesn’t know what happened with the baby?”

“No. I was too afraid to tell him,” she admitted shamefully.

“Emma, I don’t think you’ll ever fully recover unless you start letting go of the past and start looking towards the future. That means being able to stop blaming yourself for the past. Part of that process is telling your dad the truth.”

Emma nodded in understanding.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Emma, you’ve made so much progress over the last few weeks and I couldn’t be prouder of you. I’ve given you some helpful tips and tricks to help you deal with your anxiety attacks until a time that we can trust you with proper medication.” She explained. “I believe that you are ready. You leave Friday afternoon.”

“Friday? That’s Valentine’s Day!” Emma smiled cheerfully.

“Don’t waste it,” she gave Emma a soft smile before adding, “you have my permission to send a simple letter to _one_ person, apart from your family, letting them know when you will departing here.”

“Thank you,” Emma mouthed.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“I can’t believe you’re leaving Friday I feel like I just met you,” Ruby said, sitting on her bed opposite Emma’s. “Good for you,” she amended with a wave of dismissal to herself.

“I’m sorry, Ruby. What about you? When do you get to leave?” Emma questioned. Ruby got up from the bed, walking across to Emma’s bed and delicately placing her hand’s on her shoulders.

“Not for a very long time.” She sighed. “I want you to go out there and make the most out of your life. I don’t want to ever see you back here again, you hear me?” Ruby pulled her into a tight hug.

“You got it Rubs,” Emma promised.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Emma pulled a sheet of paper out from the desk in her room at the rehab facility, jotting down a simple letter to Killian to tell her she was getting out soon.

_Killian,_

_I’m getting out Friday the 14 th. Just in time to spend Valentine’s Day with you. It would mean a lot if you showed up. I miss you. _

_See you soon, Emma_

Short, sweet, and to the point: just like she was allowed.

Emma reached for an envelope, putting the letter inside and sealing it up before scribbling his information across the envelope to be mailed out tomorrow. Hopefully it would reach him in time.


	23. Twenty Three

Killian lied wide awake on his twin sized-mattress on the floor while his five-, nearly six-year-old roommate snored quietly on the opposite side of the room from him. Killian tucked his hands behind his head, propping his head up on his arms, as his thoughts drifted to Emma.

_Was she alright?_

_Was she lonely?_

_Was she sad?_

_Did she miss him?_

It had only been a few days since he had seen Emma off at the rehab facility and he wouldn’t be seeing her for quite some time. Killian remembered the day vividly as if it had only occurred the day before, it might as well have been…

_Killian stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets as he watched Emma walk down the pathway to the rehab facility, her steps short and unsure. He was trying to stay strong for her but internally he was losing it. Losing her._

_Emma turned her head, glancing back at him, her face red and blotchy from her tears. Killian gave a nod of encouragement, which she didn’t take into consideration when she dropped her bags and rushed back over to him, throwing herself into his arms._

_“I can’t. Killian, I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough,” she cried into his shoulder. Killian rocked her back and forth, his hand carding through her hair as he fought with his own emotions._

_“Please…” she gave a sharp intake of breath before pleading, “please don’t make me go…”_

_Killian closed his eyes at her plea and grimaced, torturing himself over what was best for her and what was best for him. He moved his hands to her cheeks, lightly brushing her tears away, “You have to do this Emma. You’re strong enough. You’re ready. You need to do this for yourself,” he said, believing it with every fiber of his being. “You’re going to go in there and you’re going to get better,” he whispered against her hair, holding back his own tears of anguish. “There’s not a day that will go by that I won’t think of you,” he said faintly into her hair with as much conviction as he could muster just so she would know he would keep his promise._   

_Emma curled herself into him further, sobs wracking her body as she began to spasm, her knees nearly giving out on her. Killian hauled her against his body, silently motioning for her driver to pick up her bags and follow them. “I’ve got you Emma,” he told her softly, her face buried in his warm leather jacket. Killian braced himself with the majority of her weight, escorting her to the glass doors and buzzing for entrance. He watched as a few of the employees scrambled about, buzzing the door open for them, Emma damn near hysterical at this point._

_One of the men assisted Killian, pulling her through the threshold of the door, the other man picking up her bags and setting them inside. Killian moved himself to enter when he was halted abruptly by an outstretched hand. “No non-patients past this point,” the man informed him._

_Killian craned his neck, watching as Emma was ushered past his line of sight, tears leaving his eyes. Never would he forget the look on her face as they parted—a look of complete betrayal. He just had to believe that he was doing what was best for her._

_He hoped to god he was doing the right thing._

Killian hadn’t been to school since that day he visited the hospital. He was far too depressed to even leave bed no matter how many attempts Robin made to help him. He just wasn’t strong enough. Why could he be strong for Emma but not himself? Killian allowed his mind to filter back to happier times with Emma, numbing the pain he harbored in his system, his eyes fluttering shut for the first time in what seemed like days.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

“Rise and shine,” the sound of David’s voice called to him, waking him from his slumber.

Killian jolted awake at the sound of David’s voice, his eyes snapping open to see David’s creepy, overly-happy face hovering above him, way too close for comfort.

“Go away!” Killian groaned, forcing the blankets back over his body, flipping his body towards the wall away from his friend.

“Come on princess,” David teased, rising to his feet to lightly kick Killian’s body.

Killian inched away from his heavy booted foot, “Too early!” he argued.

“Killian, you’ve been asleep for 24 hours. It’s Saturday,” David reluctantly told him, concern written all over his face.

“ _Saturday_?” Killian peeked his head out from underneath the blankets. David nodded in confirmation.

“’Fraid so bud,” David grimaced.

“What are you doing here?” Killian quirked an eyebrow in his direction, sitting up on his elbows to address Dave.

“Robin was worried. He called me over… to see if I could talk some sense into you… maybe get you to come back to school?” David stammered, awkwardly looking at his feet, fearful of Killian’s wrath.

“That’s just like him,” Killian huffed, patting the blankets on either side of him.

“He’s just worried about you, Kill, we all are,” he said sincerely before adding, “you haven’t been to work or school in days. You just sit here day after day doing lord knows what. It’s not healthy. Emma wouldn’t want you to be like this,” David went on, his expression mimicking the tone of his words.

“You don’t know what the hell Emma would want!” Killian snapped in frustration and anger.

“I know she wouldn’t want you skipping school and lying in bed all day!” David bellowed.

“Well, if I knew that I sure as hell wouldn’t be here, would I?” he yelled.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Robin strode into the room and Killian was breathing heavily as his eyes never left David’s.

“Ask Killian,” David gestured to Killian in betrayal, seemingly throwing him under the bus.

That set Killian’s teeth on edge, his blood boiling beneath his skin, “Go away, Robin,” Killian grumbled dismissively, “this is between David and me,” Killian growled.

“No it’s not, son. I’ve put up with this lovers’ lament bullshit long enough! Don’t shut us out, we are only concerned! Count yourself lucky that you have people around who care about you! We care about you, god damn it!” Robin’s breath came out in pants as he finished his soliloquy. Killian’s mouth gaped open for a fraction of a second before closing it for good. Never in his life had he heard Robin so angry. “Pull yourself together!” Robin tacked on before stalking off back towards the living room.

“Both of you are blowing this completely out of proportion,” he shrugged it off with the tilt of his head.

“Are we? Are we really? The both of us?” David said, his hands gripping his hips. “You haven’t been yourself since Emma left and that was days ago…” his voice trailed off. Killian shot him a pensive look, searching his mind for the words that eluded him.

“Talk to me, Killian,” David tapped his foot with impatience.

“What is there to say? She’s gone!” Killian admitted, “I don’t know if she’s alright, lonely, sad…” his voice drifting. Killian swallowed his emotion, not willing to show David that side of himself.

“Killian, she’s there to get better and she needs your support. Don’t let her see you this way when she eventually comes home.” David mused, his hand held out as if to reach him in a show of support that couldn’t quite get there. “She would want you to go about your life, and seeing you like this is not going to help. It will only make her feel worse.” He soldiered on, “What I’m trying to say is that we are concerned about you and only want what’s best for you and right now you look like shit,” he said plainly. “So, go take a shower, put on clean some _clean_ clothes and meet me by the door in, say, thirty minutes,” he requested with the nod of his head before exiting the room.

“Where are we going?” Killian called out behind him, not receiving an answer, “Dave! Where are we going?” he yelled after him, not moving from his spot.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian showered and dressed in a pair of simple blue jeans, sneakers, and a black crew neck t-shirt with an open khaki-colored shirt over top of it, his hair still disheveled and wet from his shower. Killian straggled out of the bathroom, making his way over to the living room where David sat on the couch waiting for him.

David stood from his spot on the couch, “See? That’s much better!” he gestured to Killian’s attire.

“Well, you have me all dressed and ready, where are we going?” Killian shuffled his feet, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, leather jacket tucked under his arm.

“Not yet,” David shook his head with wild amusement, “shall we?” He gestured to the door, “After you.”

Killian took the lead, stomping down the stairs and out of the building, David trailing behind him. Once outside, Killian immediately spotted a black town car parked in front of the building, his eyes going wide with the realization of the only person the car could belong to.

Killian stopped dead in his tracks as the back window rolled down to reveal Mary Margaret in the back of the car, “Oh, Killian!” She flapped her hand outside the window, beckoning him closer to the car.

“No! No way!” Killian refused.

“Come on, man, she made the journey all the way here for you,” David reminded him.

“No, she would have been here anyway to see you,” he corrected.

“Semantics,” David brushed off the comment. “Point is she’s here and we are going.”  David reluctantly shoved him closer to the waiting car. Killian went along with their plan, despite his errant thoughts, and got into the car, taking a seat on the far right side with David sitting in between him and Mary Margaret.

“Well, isn’t this cozy?” David commented, earning a scowl from Killian. Mary Margaret seemed thoroughly entertained by his antics.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

The car ride to their destination was deafeningly silent, none of them bothering to be in the line of sight of the other. The car jolted to a halt at their destination, their bodies thrust forward then back as the car stopped.

Mary Margaret exited the car first, waiting at the door for David, who followed after her. Killian stumbled out of the car, using the door on the other side, and quickly slammed it behind him and shoved his hands deeply into the pockets of his leather jacket as he took in his surroundings. They were in Central Park. Killian glanced around him, the car taking its leave behind him.

Great, he was stuck there. What were they even doing there?

“Mary Margaret, what are we doing here?” he asked point blank.

Mary Margaret wrapped her arm in David’s arm, cuddling closer to him for warmth. “Let’s go for a walk,” she suggested against the biting chill of the winter wind, nodding forward a ways. David tilted his head with an encouraging smile, a dim witted look on his face which made Killian realize David was just a pawn in this plan.

This had been all Mary Margaret’s doing.

Mary Margaret and David walked ahead, Killian staring at them blankly as they left him behind. Killian bowed his head with a huff, watching his breath leave his lips. _Fuck._ Killian zipped up his jacket and jogged after them, following closely behind like he was the third wheel on their demented date.

“You got me all dressed up to come out. Now tell me, why are we here?” He asked anxiously, keeping his distance from the happy couple.

“How else was I supposed to get you out of the house? You’ve been cooped up there for days and you smelled like week-old pizza,” David commented bluntly, much to Killian’s amusement.

“You’re here to enjoy yourself and get some much-needed fresh air,” Mary Margaret added, cuddling up further into David’s side.

The sight of the two of them happy together while he was miserable made him want to puke out the non-existent contents of his stomach. He hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days. Killian straggled behind them, kicking a lonesome rock against the pavement as he walked, anything to drown out the noise of Mary Margaret’s happy giggles.

The trio stopped abruptly at the sight of a food cart parked ahead of them, the sign indicating it was a hot beverage stand. “Hot chocolate, anyone?” David asked, detangling himself from Mary Margaret to look back in Killian’s direction for a response.

“No thanks,” Killian replied nonchalantly.

“Killian, Robin said you hadn’t eaten anything in days, let me get you something, even if it’s small,” he insisted.

“I suppose there’s no arguing with you, mate,” Killian relented, his eyes showing just how little he cared on the matter.

David gave him a small smile at his compliance before turning back to Mary Margaret and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and making his way over to the cart.

“Hurry back!” Mary Margaret called after him with a chuckle, shaking her head as she watched him jog up to the stand before turning her attention to Killian.

“You know, Emma came here a lot before… _you know,”_ she told him, in hopes of getting him to open up to her. “It’s one of her favorite spots in the city. In fact, this is where she was when she decided to keep the baby. Did you know that?” she soldiered on.

“No… I didn’t know that,” he said lowly, bitterly almost.

“Killian, she’s going to get through this and I can’t even begin to thank you enough for what you did for her…”

“I did nothing, I should have done more!” he spat angrily as his hand clasped over his mouth and moved down to stroke his chin.

“Killian, you did what all of us have tried to do for ages. She was scaring me. I knew she had issues but I didn’t know how bad it really was until it was too late.” She bit her lip, tears shining in the corners of her eyes. “Killian, you saved her life.”

“ _Please!_ ” he scoffed, “If anything, I _ruined_ her life! I put her in the hospital!”

“She put herself in the hospital. That was all her,” she tried to reason with him.

“Had I just stayed with her—if I had just—” his voice broke with unbidden emotion. “None of this would have never happened,” he choked out, his voice raw, his eyes red with unshed tears.

“Killian, this needed to happen. You have to understand, if it hadn’t happened then, it would have happened some other time and she might not still be here with us,” she reasoned, hoping to lessen his feelings of self-hate.

“You don’t know that!” he refuted harshly, unbelieving, his eyes brimming over with tears.  

“None of us know that but I have to believe that things could have been much worse than they were and to thank god that they weren’t. We just all have to hope that she will get better. Hope is the only thing we have because she has to do this on her own.”

Killian bowed his body forward, his entire body shaking with sobs of anger, worry and frustration over his situation. Mary Margaret frowned at the display, the lines in her forehead creasing as she walked over to him and pulled him into her arms.

Killian brought his head onto her shoulder, taking the opportunity for a literal shoulder to cry on. Mary Margaret was probably the closest thing he had to Emma right now and he wasn’t about to let go of that. He would need her if they were going to get through this, they would need each other.

Tears of Mary Margaret’s own making fell from her eyes, streaking her cheeks as she held him.

David paused, cup holder in hand with three beverages and a brown paper bag with pastries in hand, at the display, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile.

“I was wrong about you, Killian Jones, and I’ve never been happier to be wrong about anything in my entire life.” She smiled through her tears, earning a laugh from him. Mary Margaret held him back by the shoulders as she continued, “It’s not easy for me to admit, so cherish it, because you’ll never hear it again, and if you tell anyone I said it, I will deny it then kick your ass.”

“Noted,” he gave a light laugh, using his sleeve to wipe the tears from his eyes, his lips forming a bittersweet smile.

“Come on, I think David has some food for us,” Mary Margaret told him, whirling around to be beside him and wrapping her arm in his, leading him to where David stood waiting for them.

“Has anyone told you that you cry like a pansy?” David asked, pulling a small cup from the beverage holder and handing it to Killian, who accepted it graciously.

“Shut up,” Mary Margaret smacked him in the back of his head, causing David to stumble forward a bit, luckily saving the drinks. “Don’t listen to him. He cried watching the Notebook the other day.”

“You promised!” David’s jaw dropped at the revelation.

“Well, that was before you decided to be a ginormous ass!” She stated, the two bickering like an old married couple instead of two teenagers in the beginnings of a romantic relationship.

“Well, I’ll just tell him that _you,”_ David began trying to intimidate Mary Margaret who stared incredulously as he tried to come with something, “ _you…”_ He gritted his teeth in thought, pointing an accusing finger in her direction. “I have nothing,” he sighed in defeat, his shoulders slumping forward a bit as he exhaled.

“That’s what I thought…” she nodded in triumph, arms crossed over her chest in her own “ _I’m-far-more-superior-than-you” Mary Margaret_ kind-of look.

Killian sipped at his drink, tossing his head as he struggled to contain his amused laughter,

“Shall we continue on?” She suggested.

Killian agreed with a stern nod of his head, coming to stand by Mary Margaret, the two walking past David as he struggled to catch up with them, the remaining food and drinks still in his hand.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

With the help of Mary Margaret and David, Killian reluctantly returned to school the following Monday.

The day went by smoothly; Killian went to his various classes and picked up make-up work for the week he had missed. He had his work cut out for him. He was just glad that he had perfect attendance in the past that wouldn’t make graduation difficult later.

The news of Emma’s indiscretion had spread like wild fire throughout the campus even more so the reason for his own week-long absence, because you couldn’t think Emma Swan and not also think about Killian Jones. They were a package deal now.

The day was difficult but he soldiered on and somehow made it through the school day itself. That was, until he spotted Neal from across the courtyard with his friends, laughing and smiling as if nothing had happened.

As if he hadn’t had a significant hand in Emma’s downfall.

“Killian, don’t. He’s not worth it,” Mary Margaret put a hand on his shoulder to still his movements.

“Let me go, Mary Margaret,” he warned, all but snarling at the smug bastard from across the nearly-empty courtyard. He couldn’t contain his anger any longer, his vision blurring into a fiery red. Killian snapped his shoulder forward away from Mary Margaret’s touch, dropping his bag and stomping across the yard to confront the man he saw as the reason for both his and Emma’s unhappiness, the thoughts of him touching her inappropriately and without her consent burning through his mind like a raging inferno.

Neal was going to pay for what he had done.

Killian strode into their circle, catching the attention of everyone else before Neal himself as he was thrust against the brick wall behind him. Killian trapped him in with his elbow and forearm against his neck, pressing lightly on his air supply.

“You sick son of a bitch!” Killian spat, his eyes dark and threatening.

Neal’s eyes widened as he squirmed in Killian’s grasp, seemingly helpless for the time being as his friends crowded nearer to their confrontation like people trying to get a better seat at a movie theatre. “I have no idea what you are talking about,” Neal strained against Killian’s hold on him.

“That night at the club—you sexually assaulted her!” Killian reminded him, his arm nearly shaking with just how much he was trying to hold back from snapping his neck and killing him. People like Neal didn’t deserve to live. He was far too powerful to be put behind bars. “Do you get off on helpless women you sick bastard?” He screamed, his hot breath coming out in harsh pants against Neal’s face as hot angry tears welled in his eyes. “You are trash! You are nothing!” Killian muttered in a fierce growl.

Killian held his fist to Neal’s face, Neal’s eyes snapping shut as he winced and braced himself for attack, cowering against him like the sniveling rat he was

“You’re pathetic,” Killian gave a cold, heartless chuckle.

Mary Margaret came rushing over to him, screaming and pleading for him not to do anything rash as she tried to tug him off of Neal, “He’s not worth it!”

Killian snarled one last time before lowering his arm and taking a few steps back, Neal falling to the ground in a heap as he gasped for a few precious breaths. “Now everyone sees you for what you really are,” Killian glowered over him, “a selfish coward.” Killian spoke his final words before turning around and leaving Neal behind, which took all of his strength.

“You stupid fuck!” Neal gasped for air, picking himself up and charging after Killian in retaliation.

Mary Margaret was swift and smart as she pushed Killian out of the way, her knee catching Neal in the crotch as he doubled over in pain.

“Oops! Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she snickered before bending over him, “Emma sends her regards.” She leered over him before joining Killian in walking out of the courtyard, all sets of eyes on them as they left.

“Remind me never to underestimate you,” Killian laughed once out of sight.

“Oh that,” she giggled. “I’m just lucky I didn’t have to use the 9 millimeter I keep in a safe at the range,” she joked, earning an eyebrow raise from Killian.

“Is that also where you’re keeping David’s wiener?” Killian commented while they walked side by side.

“No, that’s in a jar by my bed,” she teased.

“I don’t even want to know,” Killian cringed, shaking his head to erase the thoughts his mind had conjured up.

“Emma would be proud of you, you know,” Mary Margaret thought aloud.

“Yeah,” he agreed wistfully, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the memory of what Emma had said the last time they fought, “I guess she would.”

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

It was two weeks later and it was Killian’s 18th birthday. The day he would have been celebrating his freedom but instead he spent it at the garage working on his bike, giving it a much-needed tune up.

“Happy—“ David’s voice boomed from the entrance of the garage, and Killian put a silencing finger to his lips to keep him quiet as he lied on his side, propped on an elbow while working on his bike, “birthday…” David finished in a hushed whisper.

Killian made an appreciative gesture making the “okay” sign with his hand.

David knew he didn’t celebrate birthdays ever, he knew better but still he insisted on making the year he turned the big 1-8 a celebration. There was absolutely no stopping him once he got an idea in his head.

“David, we’ve been over this, no birthdays. It’s a stupid tradition that holds absolutely no meaning,” Killian slurred in his thick Irish brogue.

“Ouch,” David teased, wincing as if he had been hurt, “someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” David commented. “Emma’s been gone, what? Three weeks now?” David deadpanned, closing his eyes and doing mental math before smirking. “You haven’t been laid in four weeks. That’s what happens when you’re used to it. When you don’t get any you get cranky.”

“Like you would know! Mary Margaret still has you stuck at over the clothing action!” he scoffed.

“Not as of two days ago,” David smirked.

“You don’t say…”

“Yeah. She let me put my hand up her shirt,” David announced proudly.

Killian rolled his eyes at David’s extreme lack of sexual prowess, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, “Call me when you’ve done something worthwhile.”

“Do yourself a favor and whack off today, maybe you’ll be less cranky,” David told him, balancing the container of cupcakes raised just above his chest. “I’m going to put these in the break room.” David informed him, side stepping to avoid the clutter of tools spread out on the floor next to the bike.

David, Robin, Roland, Leroy and Killian along with a few other employees of Sherwood Auto Garage gathered in the break room, the large white box opened to reveal a set of 30 cupcakes in the shape of a motorcycle, the two in the center holding candles shaped like the numbers ‘1’ and ‘8.’

“Make a wish, Killian!” Roland cheered, jumping up and down beside him after the low voices belonging to all the males in the garage had finished singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him.

Killian gave the small boy a light chuckle and ruffled the hair at the top of his head before leaning over the candles and closing his eyes, thoughts of Emma and happiness flooding his mind. He smiled as he thought of his own unselfish birthday wish.

_“I wish for Emma to have a speedy recovery and for her life to be filled with all the happiness she deserves.”_

Killian opened his lips, his hot breath escaping from its depths as the candles flickered then went out, a roar of cheers and claps surrounding him as the smoke wafted upward from the wicks.

He felt genuinely happy for the first time in weeks; he could feel Emma’s presence near him if only for a fleeting moment.

He was complete.

Much later, after the celebrating was over and done with, Killian decided to treat himself to a bike ride, something he hadn’t done since Emma had left. He enjoyed the chill of the wind and the roar of the traffic as he weaved in and out of cars, the engine vibrating underneath him sending shivers of adrenaline up his spine. There was nothing better in the world then sitting on top of this manmade beast as it sped across the Brooklyn Bridge.

By the time he arrived back at the garage, the place had long since cleared out, a lonely light left on inside for him behind the locked door. Killian pulled the keys from his pocket, unlocking and turning the knob, his helmet tucked underneath his armpit as he walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

Killian strode across the garage floor and entered Robin’s office where his birthday presents had been moved for safe keeping. He flipped the light switch on, his eyes gazing at the small stack. He’d received a new pocket knife from Leroy, an unopened pre-paid cell phone from Robin, a hand drawn card from Roland and a sweater from Mary Margaret and David. Killian walked over, grabbing his bag and emptied the gifts into his bag to take home, pausing when he came across a lonely, unopened bubble mailer.

Killian placed his hand underneath the envelope, tilting it forward to read the address under the dim lighting.

It was from Emma’s rehab facility.

Killian dropped his bag to the floor and dropped his keys to the tabletop before taking the envelope in his hands and furiously tearing it open, anxious to get to its precious contents. Killian held the envelope by the bottom, the contents sliding out of the package and into his hand. It was a knit cap but not just any knit cap, the black beanie Emma had promised to make him for his birthday to match the scarf.

She had kept her promise.

Killian smiled brightly at the gesture, just knowing that she was thinking of him gave him hope. She was alright and he was going to be alright, too. The cap spoke volumes to him, a silent promise that they would be together again and _soon_.

“ _Emma…”_ Killian whispered to himself fingering the knit material before bringing it up to his nose to inhale the faintest scent of her that it carried.

_It wouldn’t be much longer now._

KEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKE

_A few weeks later…_

“Killian!” Robin called out, stepping onto the work floor, envelope in hand, “letter.”

Killian immediately dropped everything he was doing and jogged towards the place where Robin stood in the middle of the garage, ripping the letter from his hands.

It was addressed to him with the rehab facility’s return address on it.

_It was from Emma._

Killian wiped his greasy hands on the towel stored in his back pocket before tearing it open to reveal the contents inside. He read over it once, twice, then three times. There was one thing he was sure of: she was coming home and he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face even if he tried.

“What is it?” David asked, stepping behind him to glance over his shoulder at the letter in his hands.

“She’s coming home.” Killian smiled wistfully, fingering her delicate written script on the page if only to feel closer to her.


	24. Twenty Four

Killian arrived to the rehab facility, parking directly behind what he knew was Emma’s limo. No one had showed up to pick her up. They sent her driver. Killian knew the time was close when her driver stepped out of the car to wait for her. She hadn’t indicated a time in the letter only stating that she would be out that afternoon, probably had to do with him not being family. He couldn’t be mad at them for allowing her the small courtesy of letting her boyfriend know when she would be released, if only the day. Killian was nervous; he hadn’t seen or talked to Emma in weeks. He must have taken hours to decide what to wear to meet her. He finally decided on something simple but romantic to fit the occasion and their plans for afterwards. He wore dark blue jeans, a white crew neck shirt with a medium grey V-neck pull over sweater thrown over it and his signature black leather jacket to complete the look.

Killian shuffled his feet nervously, his heart fluttering with every minute that ticked by, another minute gone that brought him closer to Emma. Killian clutched a single red rose in his left hand, how it had managed to survive the ride over here was beyond him; he considered it a sign of good luck. Killian continued to fidget, lifting the sleeve of his jacket and sweater to inspect his digital wristwatch, checking the time: 2:58. It should be any minute now. Killian wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, switching the flower to his opposite hand to do the same with the other.

Killian intently eyed the entrance to the upstate facility, stiffening against the frosty chill in the air, his heavy breathing coming out in smoke. Killian glanced back down at his watch for what seemed like the 100th time: 2:59. _Why was time moving so slowly?_ Killian saw a shadowy figure emerge by the interior of the door, his breath catching in his throat at just the possibility that it could be Emma. He heard a faint buzz as the door unlocked and opened revealing the familiar sight of blonde curls. Her head was down, her feet kicking up against the walkway as she adjusted the heavy bags she was carrying. Emma slumped towards the car she knew was waiting for her, not even bothering to look up. She looked a little worse for wear, happy, but as if she was tossed through the ringer. She wore a pair of grey sweat pants, a long sleeved navy blue shirt with her open knee length pea coat thrown on over top of it and a pair of black flats. Emma’s head lifted slightly, her eyes meeting Killian’s from across the short distance between them, his face lighting up instantly when she finally saw him.

“ _Killian…”_ she breathed, pausing to take in his appearance; he had showed. Her excited, happy, relieved smile was undeniable as she threw her bags down, tossing them onto the concrete walkway and taking off at full speed to quickly fill the gap between them. Emma fell into his arms, Killian faltering slightly at the impact as she dug her face into his shoulder and wept softly. Killian’s hand threaded into her long blonde locks at the back of her head, holding her against him, placing gentle kisses to the top of her head, his other hand clutching the rose at her lower back. The emotion of the moment overwhelming them both as Killian pulled her from his shoulder, a hand on each side of her tear streaked cheeks to get a better look at her.

“ _You’re here…”_ she gave him a tearful smile. “ _I can’t believe you’re here…”_ she told him.

“Did you honestly doubt for a second that I wouldn’t be here when you got out?” he told her, holding his gaze to hers. Emma giggled lightly through her tears, her laughter a pleasant sound to his ears.

“I’m going to admit the past gave me pause,” she joked as he used the pads of his thumbs to wipe at her tears.

“I’m not taking my eyes off you for a second,” he declared, cradling her face in his hands.

“I would despair if you did,” she offered him a toothy smile, his heart surging at her words as he pulled her face into his, their lips meeting in a passionate, all-consuming kiss. They poured every single emotion into it, the kiss saying what they couldn’t put into words, his mouth molding to hers, _I love you_. Her tongue tangling with his, _I missed you_. The taste of one another a silent promise to never leave each other again.

“ _I love you so much…”_ she confessed, the words lingering against his kiss singed lips as they pulled their mouths apart, their foreheads resting against each other.

“Aye. I love you too lass,” he told her staring into her eyes, taking in the red features of her face both from the chill and tears, “I got you something…” he announced, presenting her with the rose.

“A flower, really?” she laughed.

“Does that surprise you?”

“You didn’t strike me as a flower type of guy…” she amended.

“I know I’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s day, never had a reason to until now but I was led to believe that it’s appropriate to make cheesy romantic gestures on such an occasion.” he teased, “I didn’t want to disappoint,” he added with a grin.

“Well in that case, it’s perfect. Thank you,” she admitted in defeat and celebrated her loss by bringing the delicate flower to her nose to take in its intoxicating aroma and giving Killian a quick peck on the cheek, affording him a well-deserved thanks for his efforts.

“Let’s get you out of here. I’m sure you don’t want to be here a moment longer…” he assumed, coming to stand beside her, throwing his arm around her neck and leading her to the bike a few feet away, Emma glancing at Rauel, who was putting her bags in the car to take back to her home. Killian helped Emma onto the back of his bike with a hand as she stepped over the gap between the sidewalk and the motorcycle. Killian grabbed the helmet sitting on the seat and handed it to Emma who in turn shook out her hair and placed is securely on her head.

“Where are we going?” she asked him after he had taken his seat at the font of the bike, his hand’s moving to turn the key into the ignition.

“It’s a surprise! Sit back and hold on tight!” he yelled against the roar of the motorcycle underneath them. Emma did as she was told, snaking her arms around his waist, holding on tightly as he moved the kickstand and peeled off from the curb, taking off down the street towards their destination.  

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian and Emma found themselves in a familiar location. It was the location from their very first date, or non-date so to speak. Not that either of them didn’t secretly refer to it as such. Emma beamed at him as they stared at the closed door of the loft.

“Give me a moment,” he excused himself. “Wait out here,” he told her before stepping inside ahead of her to ready the place for her. She deserved the best, especially after all she’d been through. Killian definitely wanted to make things as special as possible for her. They had so much to celebrate. Killian put the finishing touches on setting the mood before stepping back out to Emma.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered against her ear from behind her. Emma gave him a curious look before relenting and doing as she was told, Killian led her inside, his body pressed up against hers from behind.

“Open,” he permitted once safely inside, the door closed securely behind them.

Emma lifted her hands from her eyes, her expression in complete awe as she took in her surroundings, “ _Killian…”_ she gasped looking at the multitude of candles lit around the empty loft, the warm glow of the fire flickering in the hearth, the small amount of cloudless light that flooded through the floor to ceiling windows on this cold winter day. Lastly she saw the large white and red checkered cloth laid out on the hard wood floor beside the fire; a large pizza box from Grimaldi’s, two empty champagne flutes and a bottle of something Emma couldn’t quite make out in the dark.

“Too cheesy?” he asked, slightly nervous at the reveal.

“No, it’s perfect,” she muttered breathlessly, pulling him by the neck into a hug, his arms wrapping around her torso from behind, her body leaning into his.

“After you…” he suggested, with an embellished flourish of his hand towards the spread by the fire. Emma made her way to the cloth and took a seat, crossing her legs underneath her, Killian taking the seat across from her, their meal in-between them. Killian took the bottle in his hand, Emma’s face falling as he began to pry it open with a bottle opener.

Noticing her face Killian laughed slightly realizing he had forgot to mention that, “it’s just sparkling cider. Don’t worry lass…” Emma smiled at his thoughtfulness. “You know I don’t drink anyway…”

“Right, because of your dad. Did you ever hear from him?”

“No,” he replied grimly, his hand yanking the cork from the bottle, smiling at his success. “It’s safe to assume I never will…” he thought aloud.

“I’m really sorry Killian,” she mentioned sincerely watching as Killian poured the cider in each glass.

“Don’t be,” he told her without a hint of remorse for his situation while handing a glass to Emma. “I’m not,” he said taking his own glass into his hand, holding it up promptly for a toast.

“To new beginnings and looking towards the future…” he toasted.

“To never being apart,” she added, Killian nodded his head in agreement as they clinked their glasses, each taking a sip before setting it down next to them.

“I thought you might want a good first meal after getting out of rehab, something that tasted like home and I vaguely recall you mentioning that your meal of choice is a certain type of pizza,” he mentioned thoughtfully as he opened the pizza box revealing her favorite: margherita pizza from Grimaldi’s.

“It’s perfect Killian… really it is. Thank you,” she told him as he dished out a slice of pizza onto both plastic plates, handing one to Emma and keeping the other for himself.

“Oh my gosh…” she sighed in sheer bliss as she took a bite of her pizza. Killian smiled at her as he chewed his food, enjoying the fact that she was enjoying herself. “That is really good…” she laughed, making Killian bark with laughter. It’s as if she had never eaten it before a day in her life even though he knew that was the exact opposite.

“Did they not feed you?” he teased.

“No, the food was great there. It was an upstate facility catered to the wealthy. They had a 4 star chef working in the kitchen,” she told him in-between bites of pizza. “It just wasn’t _this_. This just tastes like home,” she smiled at him, silently thanking him for the feeling she now had.

“Happy to oblige.”

“So what have I missed around here?” she asked him to fill her in on the goings on around him.

“Things are the same at the garage. Although I’m not going to lie, people miss your presence around there. You’ve built up quite the reputation,” he joked making Emma roll her eyes, “I’m adjusting to living with Robin. I secretly think he’s happy about having me there so he can keep an eye out for me…” Emma nodded as he continued, “then there is Mary Margaret and David… they certainly have become quite the item. I think he’s treating Mary Margaret to a carriage ride around central park as we speak, very stereotypical Valentine’s romance…” Emma nearly choked at his words, hardly believing what he had just told her.

“Mary Margaret hates horses! She told me they freak her out…” she swallowed.

“Mary Margaret seemed very excited when David told her about it, and you know he has to run all date ideas by her first…”

“Wow. She really likes him. Who would have thought?” she thought aloud. “How about school? What are they saying about me at school?” she asked. Killian didn’t make a move to tell her making Emma raise her voice slightly at him, “Killian, what about school?”

“Lass, I don’t think-“

“I can handle it, just tell me!” she insisted despite his protests.

“Lass, it will ruin the evening. Besides, you just got out of rehab today, it can wait a day or two…”

“Killian!” she demanded harshly.

“Alright… alright… alright…” he relented against his better judgment as Emma waited with baited breath to hear what he had to say.

“Neal has been spreading quite a few rumors in your absence,” he began, his face turned down as he tried to remember them all.

“Why does that not surprise me? What’s he been saying?” she asked intently.

“That you tried to kill yourself and you were put into a mental institution…” he said under his breath, his anger clearly beginning to show.

“It’s really not all that far off from the truth…” Emma said solemnly.

“Emma you didn’t try to kill yourself! You weren’t in a clear state of mind to make the decisions you made,” he defended. “You have your issues just like everyone else and you’re working through them which is something I can’t say about Neal…”

“Neal doesn’t need help he just needs a thorough kick in the ass and a reality check.”

“I just hate that he can be so cavalier about what happened in yours and his past. It doesn’t even affect him! It’s not fair that you’re the only one who has consequences!” he yelled in anger.

“I’ve spent the last year thinking like that and it doesn’t help, trust me. He feels something; he just doesn’t allow himself to show it. Eventually it’s going to catch up to him…” she reminded him.

“That will be the day,” Killian blanched moving to take another sip of his drink.

“So how were you while I was gone?” she attempted to switch subjects as Killian began to recall his weeks without Emma choosing to leave out a few things that she probably wouldn’t enjoy hearing.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

 “ _Yeah love you too Dad. I will see you Sunday,”_ she told her father over the phone. The reason he hadn’t been there to pick her up was because he was overseeing the construction of a new property in Venice and couldn’t do it via video messaging. It was something he had to do himself. Emma hit the end button, walking back over to Killian who was laid out on the cloth now cleared of their meal.

“What did he say?” Killian asked, rising slightly on his elbows from his laying position on the blanket.

“He said he would see me Sunday and apologized for not being here today. I can’t fault him for that. He’s a busy man,” she shrugged, taking back her spot next to Killian as she rested her head against his chest, his fingers returning to their previous position in her hair.

“Yeah but he’s also your father. Given the choice; family or work. I’d always choose my family…”

“You took the day off for me, didn’t you?”

“Aye, that I did. Also skipped all the classes after lunch to throw this all together for you,” he revealed.

“Thank you, Killian,” she said, maneuvering her body on top of his, meeting their lips in a heated kiss, the hand in her hair tightening as he pulled her flush against him. Killian used his other hand to cradle her chin, deepening the kiss, pouring out all of his love for her. He had missed her so much and he was aching to reconnect with her and show her how much he cared for her. They pulled gently away from one another, their foreheads meeting as they caught their breath.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed us Emma…” he breathed, his hot breath ghosting over her bruised lips, his hand moving to dip underneath her long sleeved shirt to make soothing circles on the skin of her lower back. Emma purred at the contact, pushing herself into the lightness of his touch realizing just how much she had missed it.

“You don’t even realize how much you miss something until it’s gone…” she whispered to him, the tears falling slowly against her pink tinted cheeks. Killian gave her a small sympathetic smile, his eyes shining with love as he dived in for another kiss. Killian raised the back of her shirt up further, his fingertips gliding against her creamy warm skin making her moan into his mouth while he expertly undid the clasp of her brassiere.

“ _Killian…”_ she whimpered against his lips. Killian tucked a stray curl behind her ear, his thumb coming up to wipe away the tears gathered in her beautiful green eyes.

“ _So beautiful Emma…”_ his hand lingering to caress the apple of her cheek before coaxing her out of her shirt and bra, baring her to his gaze. Killian tucked a hand behind her back, pulling her against him as he flipped them over, his body hovering over hers, his hand gently rubbing at the skin down her side watching her reaction as he did it. Emma’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation as Killian lowered his mouth to her breast, nipping lightly at the swollen bud while his other hand kneaded the other. Emma writhed beneath him, pushing herself up into his mouth and hand with a desperate groan. Killian continued to worship her flesh, switching breasts, his mouth latching to one, his fingers darting out to flick the wet abused nipple of the other.

_“Killian…”_ she whined, wriggling in his hold.

“What do you need Emma?” he asked, lifting his head from her breast to look her in the eye.

“You… I need _you…”_ she panted, crashing her lips against his, her fingers threading through the small hairs at the back of his head, Killian groaning into her mouth at the feel of her straining nipples against his clothed chest. Killian stood from her, looking on as he divested himself of his clothing; sweater, under shirt, pants, boxer briefs. Emma licked her lips at the exposed skin of his chest, his lean muscled form covered in dark silky chest hair that she was just itching to touch.

Killian stood on his knees between her spread legs, completely nude, his shaft bobbing against the muscles of his abdomen, his blue eyes stormy and clouded with lust and love. Emma caught her bottom lip between her teeth, sucking back the moan that desperately wanted to come out at the sight of him. She felt the raw passion and hunger of his touch when his fingers hooked into the sides of her sweat pants, pulling them along with her panties from her body, sitting up slightly to comply with his wishes. Killian leaned over her, placing his warm body above hers, feeling every glorious inch of his body pressed against hers.

“I love you Emma…” he declared, his voice raw and needy, his fingers brushing the hair from her face to see her fully. Emma’s heart raced with his words, her eyes brimming with tears with his declaration. She wasn’t going to lie to herself; she thought his feelings had changed for her during their time apart. She was unbelievably happy to hear that they hadn’t.

“I love you Killian…” she sighed with love, tears rolling down her cheeks. Killian placed a single kiss to each of her closed eye lids, a simple chaste kiss to her lips trailing them down her naked chest sending her reeling in anticipation when his mouth met the proof of her arousal, his warm breath hitting the wet flesh making her instinctively spread her legs further apart, welcoming him home. Killian leaned against her on his knees, his arms hooking around the backs of her knees to pull her against his mouth.

“I missed you Emma…” he whispered before diving into her folds, his tounge sampling her unique taste of her, committing it to his memory; he never wanted to forget it again. Emma gasped at the welcomed intrusion, his tongue making patterns against the folds of her sex, lapping up the proof of her arousal. Killian lost himself in her, his senses on overload as he gorged himself on her. Emma’s fingers clamped around the hair at the back of his head forcing him deeper, his tounge thrusting up inside of her, her opposite hand fisting at the red and white checkered table cloth beneath her, his lips sucking around her clit as a string of curses mixed with his name left her lips.

_“Killian!”_ she keened against him making him smile and suddenly his lips and mouth were gone along with her pleasure. Emma opened her mouth to say something but was quickly silenced with his lips on hers, moaning as she tasted herself on his tounge, his proud erection poised at her entrance, the weeping tip of him parting her as he gently lowered himself down on top of her, burying himself to the hilt. Emma gasped into his mouth, at last they were finally connected, finally one after all this time of being apart. Killian’s lips brushed hers with a smile, bringing him to her for another kiss as he rutted his hips against hers in a sensual dance. Killian couldn’t get enough of her, their lips meeting with every downward thrust of his hips, his mouth swallowing her cries of passion, the pressure quickly building inside of them, threatening to spill over from their weeks without. This was going to end quickly, her walls clamping around the length of him like a vice, milking him for everything he was worth.

“ _Come with me Emma…”_ he whispered hoarsely, his hand jetting out between them to gently thumb at her clit, her eyes clamping shut as fireworks exploded behind her closed lids, her orgasm being torn from her as he finally released himself inside of her, the feeling of his seed filling her making her feel full and loved, something that she dearly missed and wanted to hold on to for as long as she possibly could. Emma held him against her tightly, refusing to let go as the feeling washed over them both. She couldn’t bear the thought of separating them, they had been apart long enough. Killian chuckled lightly at their nearness, Emma fighting to hold on to him afraid someone would come right along and rip them apart. Killian met her eyes, gazing at her longingly, her face flushed with her orgasm, their sweaty bodies molded together in post coital bliss.

“Emma, I’m not going anywhere…” he promised, his lips pressing against her sweaty forehead, his cock softening inside her as he moved to release himself from her depths, Emma pressing down against his shoulders to still his actions.

“ _Don’t…”_ Killian gazed at her questioningly, his head tilting in confusion at her actions. “Not yet… _please…”_ she begged, the tears threatening to spill past her eyes without her permission.

“Of course love,” he relented, brushing his chin upon her shoulder as she held onto him tightly, her fingers playing with the dark hair at the back of his head, the other making soothing circles to his back, just happy to be there in that moment with him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Emma…” he whispered placing a gentle kiss to her neck.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Killian…” she smiled happily, completely blissed out on love. She finally understood the importance of the holiday.

They made love twice more by the crackling fire while the snow fell down from the grey sky pelting the ground below, the grey clouds slowly turning black as time wore on that evening, but love still remained.


	25. Twenty Five

Killian and Emma sat in the bathtub of the dimly lit bathroom surrounded by dissipating bubbles and lit candles, the wax dripping with the passing time. Emma sighed, leaning her head against Killian’s shoulder as one of his hands smoothed her hair, the other caressing her skin from underneath the water that was getting colder by the minute.

“I could stay like this with you forever…” she murmured, her voice soft and whimsical.

“Do you plan on turning into a mermaid on me than, _love_?” he teased, a soft chuckle erupting from his throat causing her to grin playfully.

“I suppose I would lose feeling in my legs after a while, a fin may be helpful…” she agreed, seriously considering the idea if it were actually possible, her hand wrapping around his neck, her fingertips grazing his stubble as she sat in his lap, her back pressed up against his front. “I would need to find a genie to grant my wish…”

“How am I to make love to you if you are a mermaid?” he whispered huskily against the shell of her ear, his fingers brushing against her skin underneath the water, journeying closer to the apex of her thighs, her breath hitching as he made contact to her center, her body arching against his to give him better access to where she needed him the most. Emma whimpered as he buried two fingers within her heat, rubbing furiously at her clit with his tentative motions, his other hand reaching to cup her breast, his thumb circling her stiff nipple as the water sloshed around them. “Wouldn’t you miss the feeling of me inside you as I brought you to the brink of ecstasy…” his words persisted, the idea so far from her thoughts that it wasn’t even funny.

“I suppose being human has its merits…” she panted, taking her bottom lip between her teeth and nibbling, her body writhing between his spread legs as he continued to spear his fingers within her, quickly working her body up with every thrust. Killian removed his hand from her breast causing her to whimper at the loss before bringing it to her other bud that begged him for attention and tweaking it with his fingers. Emma craned her head, connecting their lips in a heated kiss as he brought her closer to the edge with is talented fingers.

“Come for me Emma…” he picked up his pace, rapidly scissoring his fingers within her as she cried out her release, convulsing around him. Killian continued to stroke her inner walls as she rode out the waves of her impromptu orgasm, slowing down his thrusts to steadily bring her down from her high. Emma crushed her body further against his chest, her slick back sliding against his wet chest hair as she caught her breath. “Feel better?” he asked cockily, pressing his lips to the soft supple skin of her neck as he carded his hand through her damp locks.

“Not even close…” she turned her head, her lips falling against his with an unbidden urgency as she swallowed his groans, her hand falling beneath the water to stroke his painfully hard member causing him to gasp freely into her mouth.  

Killian grabbed her wrist, successfully stilling her movements, and pulling it from the shallow water and brought her arm to his mouth as he trailed a line of kisses starting at her wrist to her upper arm and stopping to whisper against her soaked skin. “We should get out…” he said suggestively with the jerk of his hips against her backside making her moan, his hand kneading her breast.

Killian released her earning him a throaty whimper, his hands braced on either side of the tub as he got up, the water rolling off his body as he stepped out from behind her and onto the bathmat. He didn’t even bother to dry off, instead he held his hand out for Emma who accepted it, helping her up to stand at the edge of the tub before lifting her out and into his waiting arms, her body sliding down his. Killian hauled her up into his arms, a careful hand placed at her lower back, the other tucked underneath her thigh as she wrapped her leg around his back.

Killian swept a lock of hair from her face, his eyes lustful and intense against hers as he leaned in to part her lips with his and pulled her flush against him so she could feel absolutely every torturous inch of him against her, the proof of her arousal coating her thighs. “ _Fuck me Killian,”_ she breathed, lips in an open pucker against his mouth, her lips falling against his cheek, leaving a wet trail as she panted his name in a desperate plea.

Killian secured her to his body before carrying her across the floor and out the door to her bedroom leaving a trailing of water droplets on the floor as they went. Killian laid her on the bed, covering her body with his, his forehead pressed tightly against hers before moving his mouth further down her body to lick the remaining droplets of water from her. Killian sat in the cradle of her thighs, his fiery eyes burning into hers, his arm leaning against her lower back to lift her closer to his mouth, licking the soft sweetness of her damp skin from the swell of her breasts to her navel, his tongue darting in to circle the sensitive flesh that had her clenching the sheets at either side of her.

Emma arched her back against his probing mouth, her head thrashing from side to side beneath him, her lower lip turning into a quivering mess because of his tentative ministrations. Killian continued to worship her with his mouth until she couldn’t stand it any longer, tugging him by the wet hairs sticking up every which way at the top of his head and dragging him back to her hungry mouth.

Killian positioned himself at her entrance, his fingertips splayed against her heart to feel the steady thump of it as he smiled down at her. “ _I love you Emma…”_ he declared, seemingly bearing his soul to her as he guided himself into her, pushing through, her heat pulsing around him to welcome him home as the two finally joined. Emma felt deliciously full and complete with him inside of her that sent her gasping against his lips, brushing hers against his as he pulled out and surged back in carefully, her mouth opening into a silent cry of ecstasy.

Emma was lost in the feeling of his heavy weight on top of her, the security and bliss it brought her, her hips moving softly against his in a delicate dance as he peppered wet kisses to every inch of skin he could get his mouth on, her fingers twined his wet locks, her other hand wrapped around his shoulder as her fingernails raked up and down his back. They couldn’t get enough of each other, Killian pulling away to stare intently into her eyes, blue meeting green, the features of his face softening as he gazed upon the beauty in his arms as his hips continued to meet hers in slow and deliberate strokes.

Killian captured her chin and cheek in the palm of his hand, brushing his fingertips softly against the gentle skin there, his forehead pressed against hers, his movements never faltering, never once lifting his gaze from hers. Killian melted against her, like two halves of a whole, as he brought her closer to the edge. Emma felt the pressure coil low in her belly, her pleasure rising up inside of her threatening to spill over. Killian bent his head forward, placing a gentle kiss to her abdomen before sinking his hand lower to rub at her sensitive bundle of nerves.

Emma dug her fingernails sharply into his upper back, making crescent shaped imprints on his skin as she came with a shout, his name chanted from her lips like a prayer as her orgasm crashed over her. Killian continued his efforts against her clit, helping her to ride out the waves of pleasure, his lips finding her forehead as he whispered words of praise and encouragement, his own orgasm well within reach.

Emma’s eyes snapped open, Killian continuing to pump in and out of her, chasing his own release as she rejoined the world around her. Emma settled a hand on his lower back to help his thrusts along, his breathing quickening as a sign of just how close he was, her intense green eyes meeting his blue lust-filled ones, her other hand coming to cradling his face, her fingers coming up to stroke his strong jawline, his movements becoming sloppier as he neared his finish.

Emma brushed her sweaty forehead against his, so close that she could feel his panting breath against her lips. “Come for me Killian…” she encouraged in a sultry whisper before once again connecting their lips as she dragged his bottom lip between hers, the passionate act of love enough to push him over the edge. “ _Emma!”_

Killian grunted his release as he emptied himself into her as he continuously slapping his hips against hers, his thrusts shallow and without purpose as he rode out his climax to completion. Killian pushed his sweaty body against Emma’s, removing his softening member from her warmth and rolling over onto his side before pulling Emma into his arms and kissing her senseless.

“Go to sleep _love,”_ he whispered softly, the sound of his voice lolling her further to sleep with every passing breath. “You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow…” he reminded her, his fingers running through her long silky strands in a soothing manner.

“Don’t want to go…” she pouted as her head searched for the perfect place to rest against his chest.

“I know…” he whispered in agreement, “but I will be there with you every step of the way. You won’t be alone in this, I promise you. Now go to sleep…”

Emma yawned, shifting her body against his in a more comfortable position as she drifted off to sleep, Killian following her not long after. The following day would bring a lot of worries and a lot of uncertainties but whatever happened they would face it together.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian woke to the sound of running water, his sleepy eyes shooting open as he felt the cold empty spot on the bed next to him. Killian’s eyes panned towards the digital clock that sat on the side table next to him, the time read: 4:07. It was early. Too early. Killian groaned, his face digging into the plush pillow as he inhaled her familiar scent, a scent he had missed for a little over a month, a scent he was happy to be reunited with. _Why was she awake so early?_ They had gone to bed only four hours prior, there was no way she should be up right now…

He sleepily picked himself up off the bed, not even bothering to put clothes on as he padded through the bedroom towards the bathroom, scratching at the hair on his neck as he went. Killian stopped at the steaming shower, the glass door fogged up with moisture, unable to make out anything inside. Killian managed a yawn then pulling the door handle open before sticking his head in, his face getting splashed with ricocheting water droplets.

That’s when he saw Emma, sitting on the floor of the shower, curled up into herself as the water fell down from above like rain, her hair damp, weighing down her face. Killian closed his eyes with a grimace, the sight sobering him from his zombie like sleep state immediately. Emma picked her head up from her knees at the sound of Killian climbing in the shower, shutting the door behind him, her puffy red eyes meeting his, concern coloring his face as he appraised her disheveled appearance. Emma leaned her head back against the shower wall with shame with the sound of her sniffling, her lower lips quivering. She was having a panic attack or had just had one…

Killian towered over her, the water pelting his body before crouching down next to her, her cries getting louder as she bit her lip and shook her head furiously, flinching away from him with no place to go. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She was better now; she didn’t do this anymore. Killian brushed his fingertips against the wet skin of her cheek, parting a damp lock of her hair from her face as he gazed down at her with a pained expression. “ _Emma…”_ he chided softly, his voice hoarse with sleep. “Come here _love_ …” he choked sadly with his an outstretched hand.

She was completely wrecked, shivering against the cold stone behind her as she struggled to answer him, “ _no… no…”_ she stuttered in response, her lip quivering.

“Wasn’t a suggestion…” he murmured as he leaned over her, wrapping his arms around her waist and gathering her into his arms and standing them upright in the shower, fighting against her protests. Killian grasped the wet hair at the back of her head, bringing her face into his shoulder, holding her as she sobbed. After a few moments, Killian felt her relax more in his arms as he drew soothing circles onto her back, his lips pressed against her ear as he whispered words of comfort, _“shhh…_ I’ve got you…”

His words did little to ease her worry, the fear for what the day would bring overwhelming her in ways the felt as familiar and as dark as previous episodes, that she felt she had gotten over. She had been wrong, “ _I can’t go back there Killian…”_ she pressed her body further against his, franticly grabbing hold of him and never wanting to let go.

“Who said you were going back? Emma, no one is going to make you go back there. You’re going to stay right here with me…” he mentioned calmly.

“But I’m not better… I thought I was but I’m not…” she refuted, incredibly sure that he was wrong in his assumption.

“Emma. You’re fine. You haven’t relapsed, you had a panic attack.  Those aren’t going to go away over night. It’s part of you. You are better. Look at how your handling this…” he stated confidently with an unmistakable pride, “Emma you are the bravest person I know and you just proved to yourself that you are better. You’re functioning just fine without drugs. You should be proud of yourself…”

Emma contemplated his words, still apprehensive to agree with him. She felt more guilt ridden and ashamed more than ever, her body shaking with a strong need for a pill to make it all go away. Killian held her tightly to him, wishing away her pain instead of having to let it run its course. “You’re so strong Emma and you have no idea,” he told her softly his hand cradling the side of her head as she rested it on his shoulder.

“I am?” she questioned, her voice low and unsure.

“I have yet to see you fail…”

Emma lifted her head from his neck, a sad smile gracing her lips as she gazed into his eyes that shined with nothing but complete and total adoration for her. “Thanks for believing in me Killian… I know I didn’t ask-“

“You don’t ask for belief Emma. I believe in you because I want to,” he confirmed, his hair dripping into his face.

“I love you Killian,” she said before moving to press her lips against his. He would always be there for her not like Neal was. Killian wasn’t and never would be Neal. Emma braced herself on her tiptoes, her arms coming to wrap around his neck as she pulled herself to him, her lips parting his in a sensual, breathless kiss.

Killian and Emma pulled their lips away, Killian leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Turn around for me Emma.” Emma complied with his wishes, her brow creasing with confusion as she heard him shuffle about behind her. Killian returned to her, wash cloth in hand which he had applied some soap to, his hand at her wrist as he prompted her to relax. Killian swept her wet locks over her shoulder, brushing the wet cloth over her shoulder blades and down her back, tentatively soothing her back over with it coaxing a hum of pleasure to leave her lips.

“How does that feel?” he asked her before placing kisses across her shoulder blades, continuously moving the cloth in small circles at her lower back. Killian dropped his lips lower, kissing down her spine until he squatted down behind her, his face level with the round flesh of her ass. Killian held her body steady with a hand at her hip, dipping the cloth to the globes of her ass and massaging them gently, one after the other. Emma’s eyes clamped shut as he moved further down, working the cloth behind her legs, her knees threatening to buckle under his gentle ministrations.

Killian stood, a hand braced on each side of her torso and turning her slowly to face him, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before returning to the task at hand. Killian pushed the hair off her shoulder, the locks falling over back as he grazed the cloth over her neck, Emma letting out a moan of approval as her eyes shut with the motion. Killian brought the cloth over to her breasts, showing them the same attention as he had her buttocks before pulling away his eyes meeting those of her stiff peaks that had hardened under his careful hands. Killian swept the cloth over her stomach slowly and paused as he came to the apex of her thighs.

Killian bent down to his knees in front of her, pulling Emma’s hand onto his shoulder and her leg onto the other for purchase as he worked the cloth over her most intimate place, the warm water sending a gush of heat straight to her core that made her toss her head back with a throaty moan, the act far more sensual and intimate than sex could ever be for her. Emma removed her hand from his shoulder, threaded her fingers through the wet black tuffs of hair at the back of his neck as he explored her legs with the cloth. Lastly, he carefully washed each foot before gently setting it back down.

Killian rose back to his feet in front of her, his lips grazing her ear as he said, “it appears you’re all clean now…”

Emma’s breath hitched in her throat, swallowing before responding, “ _that’s too bad…”_ she gave him a small pout.

“Why is that?” he breathed huskily, his eyes low and dark, leaning in with brisk curiosity.

“ _I really liked being dirty…”_ she confessed, his eyes widening as she yanked his lips to hers, his hand finding her leg and hitching it over his lower back before backing her against the shower wall, their tongues dueling furiously in their mouths the entire time. Emma could feel every hard inch of him pressed against her as she moaned into his mouth, her need to have him inside of her growing with every second that ticked by that she went without. She was impatient and desperate as she nipped at his bottom lip aggressively, her hips rocking against his persistently in need of friction.

Killian chuckled against her lips, bruised with his kiss, her eyes closing as she wriggled in his grasp. Emma slid down the wall a bit, her pelvis tilted upwards towards his as ~~s~~ he rubbed himself against her, biting his lower lip, nodding encouragingly. Emma threw her head back, her hands scrambling against the wall behind her for purchase as she let out a small impatient wail.

Killian grinned down at her wickedly, his mouth quietly hushing her as he took hold of the side of her neck and tilted her head towards his before gliding himself into her opening, Emma whimpering at the feeling of him filling her so deliciously. Killian groaned as he buried himself to the hilt inside her, his breath coming out in harsh pants against her forehead. Killian held her inner thigh, her pelvis still tilted against him, his hand braced against the wall beside her head as he slowly pulled himself out then thrusted back in.

Emma planted her shoulders firmly against the shower wall behind her, the only thing other than her hands and head that touched it as Killian set a bruising pace within her that had her crying out for him, her head thrashing from side to side with every movement he made inside of her, the angle allowing him to go so deep within her. Killian drowned out her whimpering moans with the slapping of skin as he relentlessly pounded into her, his gaze calculated and appraising as he watched her get lost at the feeling of him spreading her, “ _so good Emma…”_

Killian rocked his hips against hers, leaning his head to connect their lips, swallowing her moans of ecstasy before trailing his lips over her wet skin, his stamina and balance working in his favor as he lowered his lips to a nipple and sucked it into his mouth, her fingers instantly moving to the back of his head to encourage his mouth against the overly sensitive flesh.

Satisfied with his attentions to that breast, he attacked the other with his mouth, his hips slamming mercilessly against hers, his cock hitting that spot inside of her repeatedly, her claw-like hands raking against the wall behind as she felt her orgasm steadily build within her. Emma gasped, panting harshly, her release just beyond reach. Killian grinned against her straining nipple, watching her struggle before working a hand over her swollen bundle of nerves, using his fingers to stimulate her until she was falling apart in his arms.

Killian’s eyes never left hers, a smug grin on his face as he surged with a sense of manly pride at what his efforts had yielded him. “ _Look at me Emma…”_ he bit out, his voice rough and dripping with lust as ~~his~~ he sped up his movements with a little less finesse than before at his own impending orgasm. Emma dug her teeth into her bottom lip to stifle her cries, his words meaning little to her. When she hadn’t made a move to open her eyes upon his request he bit down on her nipple, giving her just enough pressure to gain her attention. Emma’s eyes snapped in as the pain mixed with the pleasure. “ _That’s it,”_ he purred, “I want you to know who’s making you come…” she moaned at his words as she came down from her state of bliss, his thrusts punctuating every word that left his lips. “Say me name Emma…”

“ _Killian!”_ she grunted, another orgasm just beyond the brink, working its way through her.

“ _Again…”_ he growled with the push and pull of his hips against hers.

_“Killian!”_ she cried again, her head falling back again the shower wall. He could feel her impending orgasm, her walls gripping him tightly as she bucked wildly against him in search of release.

“ _You going to come again Emma_?” he slurred darkly in a teasing manner as she keened for him to do something… anything to push her over the edge.

“ _Please…”_ she begged, tugging at her bottom lip in desperation.

_“Please what, Emma?”_ he turned his jaw up at her, his mouth open in a teasing way, his hips still thrusting away.

“ _Make me come Killian!”_ she screamed, a smug grin gracing his lips in triumph, his hand trailing to where they were joined to rub her clit.

His eyes were bold and intense against hers as he commanded. “ _Come for me Emma…”_ he whispered against her lips. Emma let herself go with a shout of his name, her walls tightening around him and gripping his cock as he shot his release inside of her, milking every last drop as he rutted his hips against her, riding the waves of their intense orgasms.

Killian pressed his forehead tightly to Emma’s, gasping for breath, water cascading over his sated form as Emma lower her trembling leg with a more limited range of motion after her exertion. Drops of water dripping from his dark wet locks pelted her face, his body held firmly against hers, their breathing heavy and broken.

“You don’t know how much I’ve missed having you like that Emma…” he told her breathlessly.

“I think I have an idea…” she said saucily, her hand gliding across the hardening flesh between them as Killian bit back a masculine whimper, his head falling back slightly as her hand slowly worked his growing need.  

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

The two spent the remainder of the morning in and out of the sheets until it was time to get ready for school.

Emma was nervous as her driver pulled up to the school building, her fist clenching and unclenching against her knee, her other hand being reassuringly squeezed by Killian as he motioned to open the door. “No matter what happens in there Emma, I am here and I’m not going anywhere…” he reminded her before kissing a kiss to her brow.

Killian stepped out first, his hand outstretched to help his love from the vehicle. Emma took his hand in hers and lifted herself from the car, her head bowed down, too afraid to make eye contact with those eyes she undoubltly knew would be there, watching her every move. Killian came to stand in front of her, his fingers placed delicately underneath her chin to lift her head to his gaze. “Don’t let them know they get to you. Don’t give them the satisfaction…” he encouraged with a soft smile, Emma affording him an uneasy tight lipped smile in response.

Killian took her hand in his, her head held high as they walked across the courtyard where everyone stopped dead in their tracks at their show of support. Killian was her rock. She was sure she wouldn’t have been able to do it without him here with her. She was unbelievably grateful for him.

All day she heard rumors and people whispering under their breaths about her but she paid them no mind and focused all her energy on the man who had been the cause for her rehabilitation. She couldn’t have done it without him.

She would continue to see her therapist on a bi-weekly basis. Her fight was far from over and there would be many challenges ahead, but with him by her side how could she fall back into her old ways?


End file.
